Will you be ready when it comes?
by hopeful wager
Summary: PostBD. In vengeance, Renesmee takes a life, forcing the Cullens to flee from Forks. In their new home in Maine, however, another recognizes what they are, and knows why the Volturi fear hybrids above all beings. The mysterious ancient also holds keys to the past that may help the Cullens defeat their foes once and for all.
1. May 14

DISCLAIMER: All characters in the Twilight series as well as places, settings, and the whole kit and caboodle are property of Stephanie Meyers. Original posted 2009-2010. Reinstated due to reader requests. Post-BD story, with very slight evolution of/variations to cannon.

 **May 14**

It was not the first time that I had this dream. It was the first time, however, when Jacob had not been there to wake me before I died.

I was in a cage, trapped, with an audience of several dozen vampires, with eyes sanguine and glaring. Through the dim room peeked the outlines of frescoes on the opposite wall and circling the ceiling. Behind the throng, Bella and Edward crouched, ready to strike. But strike at whom? Their black, hungry eyes suggested a trajectory that would bring them straight to my throat. Then, with a blood-curdling growl, they were on me. Just moments before their teeth sank into my flesh of my arms, the cage was gone and I was high over them. Not jumping, but flying. Below, the crowd parted, affording a view of my mother and father in agony. Their bodies aged decades in moments, deteriorating, their hair turning gray, their flesh softening and bones crumbling. The mob of red-eyed vampires allowed no mercy, ripping their frail cadavers to pieces. High above, immobilized, I wailed out, helpless. Then, I plummeted. I was going to crash, the floor was just inches away. I was going to die.

I was dead.

My silent scream caught in my throat as I surfaced from sleep. Covered in a cold sweat, I wondered that Edward and Bella did not rush into the room. Hadn't my father seen what had just run through my mind. Or weren't they concerned? I looked over at my alarm clock. 5:47 AM. I knew they were awake -I could hear their voices-so what where they doing?

I crept lightly to my door and pressed my ear against it. They whispered. That alone was suspicious. It wasn't like them to work so stringently on keeping me out of a conversation. And why didn't my father sense my spying? Suddenly, I realized: Bella must have be shielding him. This realization only brought on more questions. Shielding him from what? As I listened on, I could hear Alice's voice, too. Had she seen something coming? Is that why she was here in the wee hours of morn?

"But you say we won't do anything," Bella asked. "Then, why would we leave?"

"I didn't say we wouldn't do anything. I just said I couldn't _see_ any of _us_ doing anything. Sometimes the catalyst for a course of decisions isn't clear. You know what they say about butterfly wings, right?" Alice answered. "And, there are also my 'blind spots' to consider."

I could picture her in my mind throwing her head back accusingly to indicate my door.

"When and where?" Edward asked. "All of us?"

"I think so. I can't see Jacob with us, but I wouldn't, would I? Where, I still can't see exactly. Carlisle's been working on that recently. That's why I wanted to come talk to you. No doubt, Nessie's needs would be a prime consideration. I want to know what you think."

"What are our options?" Bella answered.

"There's a place in Maine he's discovered, where the school year weather is agreeable. But, he's also thinking of Scotland."

"Scotland?" both Bella and Edward asked, and Bella continued, "you mean, completely leave the country?"

Edward's footfalls suggested pacing. "Of course. Forks' climate has been very good to us. It makes sense to take that issue seriously under consideration for our next home. But, I don't think Carlisle will have considered what the _cuisine_ in Scotland would be like."

 _Yes,_ I thought, _no bears or lions. Just lots and lots of fluffy woodland creatures. Yuck._

In a blink, my father's stood on the other side of my door. My body temperature had cooled, and the sweat had started to evaporate. I was shivering. Not a moment had passed before I heard light tapping.

"Everything all right, Nessie?"

" _I'm fine_ ," I thought, testing if the shield was still on him.

His response suggested not. "Then what are you doing up this early?"

An image of me falling through my dream ran through my head before I was able to stop it. The door knob turned and immediately, his amber eyes found me.

"Don't worry about it, Dad. Just a dream. I've already forgotten what it was about."

He leaned over to me, smoothing my hair with a gentle, cool hand. By this time, Bella stood behind him, looking over his shoulder, her concern adding to his own.

"You're as bad a liar as your mother," he smiled, bringing me into his embrace, as though I were still a little girl needing her daddy. "And you don't forget anything."

Bella leaned down beside us, her porcelain hand outstretched to my hand. "Show me? Maybe I can make something of it?"

"Oh! Me too!" Alice leapt half way across the room, as though I was offering to read tea leaves at a discount. Her pixie figure assumed a reclined position next to my mother, her delicate fingers twittering out to me.

"Um, okay." I freed my arms from my father's embrace and took up their hands. I relaxed my consciousness, and let the mental fragments of memory flow through my hands into their minds. The warm sensation of ease that I always experienced during these mentographies belied the panic that I recalled at the end of my dream. After a few seconds, they withdrew their hands. No doubt my father was in the loop as well.

I had expected that their reactions to be swift and reassuring. Instead of a _It's nothing to worry about, kiddo_ , they looked disturbed. But I had dreams all the time, which I'm sure my father had witnessed most of. Nothing had caused this reaction, not even the time I had dreamt that I hunted Jacob through the forest until I cornered him at a rock outcropping, broke his neck, and drank his blood.

Actually, Edward had been rather entertained by that one.

"It's only a dream," I tried to reassure them.

This seemed in reverse. I was the one with the bad dream. Shouldn't they be comforting me? Was it possible they were even whiter than usual?

Finally, my father's face broke into a comforting smile. "Of course, it's only a dream," he chuckled. "What are we all getting so upset about? You're okay, right? Go back to bed, darling."

I knew from their reactions, though, it _was_ something. Something in my dream had upset them.

"No, that's okay," I said. "I'd have to get up a half hour anyways. Besides, the sun will be out today, maybe I should walk to school."

Something was changing between us. All my life, it had always felt like we were united: Edward, Bella and Renesmee against the world. Something was shifting, and that something was rattling us. I wanted a little distance between my family and my life to sort that out. No luck, though.

"I'll walk with you," Bella declared, traipsing off to fetch her shoes.

"Mom, sun?"

Already the dawn was breaking. The sun would soon be overhead.

"I'll only walk as far the edge of town," she assured me, slipping on her boots. "We'll stay in the forest."

"Maybe I should come, too?" Edward queried.

"No, they need some girl time," Alice interrupted. As close was Edward and Bella were, nearly inseparable for more than a twenty minutes it seemed, Edward was not immune from the occasional misunderstanding of female behavior. "Besides, I think maybe we should talk to Carlisle before he leaves for work. Nessie, Jacob is coming over this morning to work on Rose's suspension. Do you want me to pass along anything?"

"When, exactly?" I asked, suddenly tempted to skip school. Edward flashed me a disappointed grimace, and I quickly abandoned the plot.

"Around eight," Alice answered.

"Ask him to pick me up this afternoon," I returned, rounding the corner of the bathroom to wash my face. "Better yet, ask him if he'll walk me home from school. Why not take advantage of the monthly ration of sunlight?"

I suddenly had a flash of walking side by side with Jacob, his brown skin soaking up the radiant heat of the midday sun, and I, somewhat luminous but not with the rest of my family's multihued brilliance, next to him… My breath caught for a moment in the back of my throat. Edward grimaced again.

"Mom, can you grab my bag from the foyer, I think I left it next to chaise."

"Got it."

"Bella, you'll be careful to stay in the forest, right?" Edward asked.

Bella nodded, and ran to kiss him a little too passionately. Alice looked away, as did I.

"Let's go, then?" Bella asked me. She was down the front stairs and 500 yards into the forest before I could throw my back pack over my shoulder.

Alice looked disapprovingly at me, shaking her head from side to side. "I see you inherited Bella's keen fashion sense."

My hoody, jeans, and baseball cap failed to impress, but they were sufficient deflectors to too much sun exposure.

"Like mother, like daughter," Edward stated before embracing me "and one of their most endearing qualities. Diamonds in the rough, the both of them."

I smiled up my father. I loved this man with a depth far beyond my years.

"I love you, too," he returned my sentiments. "Hmm, you're as tall as I am."

He was right. For the first time, I was looking nearly eye to eye with him.

"Go catch up with your mother now." Edward gave me a slight nudge towards the door.

I cleared the threshold and leapt into the forest, trying to gain on Bella. I could see her slowing ahead. No need to rush: school didn't even start for an hour yet. The challenge of being able to move so fast, was appreciating taking things slowly. After two minutes, we were walking side by side. We would cut across the back woods of Forks, avoiding streets and trails. After six years of hunting expeditions, I knew these parts well.

"So, what is it?" I queried, looking at her alabaster skin with a sideways glance.

"Am I that obvious?" She flashed the grin of someone whose ruse had just been called. "I guess that we're far enough that he won't _hear_ us. Of course, he'll know all about this conversation as soon as you get home, so I better be careful what I say."

"I can try not to think about it," I volunteered. Keeping things from Edward was nearly, but not wholly, impossible. I had managed it once or twice. For example, the time Jacob had snuck me out of Charlie's house when I was supposed to be sleeping to go down to La Push and play in the sand.

"There's no need for that," she reassured me. "He and I have already discussed it. But I thought you'd like a chance to noodle this through without surveillance." She paused for moment, as if trying to determine the right words to start out. "You heard what Alice was saying this morning. I heard you wake up from your dream, but I wanted your father's attention to be on the topic on hand, so I blocked him out for a few minutes."

"Oh, so that's why," I commented. Bella nodded and continued.

"We've actually been talking about it for the last year or so. The family has been in Forks for nearly nine years now, these last few years for our benefit. As long as we stay out of town, everyone buys the story of the six of us being off at college. But even I have to admit that staying any longer would be… unwise."

It wasn't a surprise to me at all. From what I could gather, the average Cullen homestead project ran about 5-6 years. We had overblown that by a long shot. There had never been extended family before to take into consideration. Charlie and Sue, the Blacks, the wolves… even the sucky weather was a friend to us.

"So, we move," I agreed as a leapt over a tree that must have fallen in the last storm. "It's not like we won't be able to come back and visit."

"Actually," Bella corrected, a slight apprehension in her voice ",it is. We'd have to make a clean break. Charlie and Sue could visit of course, but now, without so much documentation of life, I'd be a long time – decades, maybe even a century- before we could resettle here."

"What about Jacob?" Is that what she was getting at? Jacob wasn't a Cullen, wasn't a vampire, but he was part of my family.

Bella smiled reassuringly. "Edward and I agree that Jacob should be invited to come with us. But, it will be his decision if he wants to leave his pack."

"So what you're saying is, Jacob has to choose between us or his pack?" That seemed unfair.

"He will have to choose between _you_ and his pack."

"Me?"

Bella tenderness couldn't dampen the shock. I looked at the ground, trying to piece together the pieces of the puzzle that had been building in my mind for the last few months. Jacob was my friend. My earliest memories- and I remembered everything I had ever seen- included him. I couldn't imagine myself without him. But, could I imagine myself _with_ him? Suddenly, the thought seemed more natural than breathing and more instinctive than hunting. Jacob was meant for _me_.

Then we heard the shot.

Bella and I turned towards town. Shots weren't unheard of in Forks, but only hunting rifles and only during the fall hunting season. This was no rifle: this was a revolver, and there was no reason for any hunters in town this late in the spring. There were only a few people who legally owned revolvers in Forks.

Among them was the chief of police.


	2. Primal

One shot, then another.

Neither of us spoke for what seemed like hours. In reality, only seconds passed. Bella turned her head, straining to hear what transpired just a few miles away. The echoes of sirens snaked through the canopy. An ambulance, and as the sound reverberated over the hills, it became obvious it was moving in direction of the shots. Bella's face twisted in horror, but neither of us gave wings to the words that would make the truth tangible.

The ringing of Bella's cell phone finally broke the silence.

Her voice was broken and raspy. She had forgotten to breathe before speaking. "Please, tell me I'm wrong."

Alice's voice wheezed an answer and my mother's body surrendered to the ground. The roar that escaped from her throat was neither a human scream nor a vampire's growl, but a heart-breaking and angry amalgamation of the two. For a creature whose eyes could bear no tears, it looked as though they would release floods.

Slowly, I began to realize what was happening: a gunshot, then two more, a call from Alice, and then a shattered woman heaving dry tears. I could hear Alice's voice calling from the cell phone that was still clutched in Bella's hand, braced around the back of her neck.

I seized it and called out in desperation. "Where is he?"

"In front of the First National Bank. Renesmee… he's won't make it, and she can't get there in time to stop it. That doesn't mean she won't try. Do you understand the danger in what Bella is going to consider?"

Bella would think, if she could only get to him before his heart stopped, she could save him. She could save him by killing him.

"How long does he have?" I asked.

"Three minutes."

"But the ambulance…?"

"It won't get to him in time," Alice assured me. "Edward is coming and he'll keep Bella from… Wait, everything's changing. Nessie, I can't see what you're deciding, but you must not do _anything._ "

I could sense in the distance my father's bearing through the forest. I only had seconds to make up my mind, but so little to go on. What did I really know?

There had been an armed robbery attempt on the bank, it seemed. Shots had been fired. Two miles southeast of the distraught woman buckled on the ground next to me, my grandfather lay on the ground, dying. An ambulance was en route, but he wouldn't survive long enough for that to matter.

From a half-mile away, Edward's eyes found us. If I was going to run, it had to be now. I turned and sprinted as fast as I could before he could make any effort to stop me, before Bella could carry out the vision which Alice had seen. Even in that moment, I knew the cost of each footstep. Making this decision threatened to destroy everything we had. How could I be so selfish? My presence at Charlie's side would not evade his death. Maybe I shouldn't...

No, the decision had been made. Alice had already seen it, hadn't she? Rather, she had seen that she could not see anymore. Because it was me who would go to Charlie's side. Alice could only see me in the periphery of the future. In the future, I was already with him.

"Renesmee, no. You can't!"

Edward occupied the space where I'd stood just moment's ago, leaning down to the embrace my mother. I was already a quarter-mile away, standing in the middle of an empty road where shortly an ambulance would pass. I took just a moment to turn back to him. I owed him recognition, if I could not offer him obedience.

"I will not let Charlie die alone," I answered, swallowing back my own tears. I must focus now. I must _not_ lose my resolve. There would be time for tears later. Later, I would ask for forgiveness in lieu of asking for permission. "I'm sorry, I have to."

No more words.

I ran faster than I ever had. A constant plea ran through my head: _Charlie, don't die. Not yet. I'm coming._

I was trying as hard as I could to avoid being seen, but I was so focused on reaching the bank that I couldn't be certain if I was successful. If Edward would have been running full speed, they may not even be able to register his profile with their human eyes. What about me? I could outrun a deer or lion, but this was hardly faster than a car on the freeway. I had never had the need to test my limits, so I did not know if my hybrid body was capable of that unfathomable performance.

Flashing red and blue lights of police cruisers rose above the horizon. Ten seconds, and I would reach him. How long had passed since Alice declared three minutes? Sixty seconds? Only two minutes remained in the life of a man I loved. Fighting against my impulses, fighting against my desires, I slowed to a human pace.

A small crowd gathered around him, all police. The department had only ten members- plus a chief. Seven were here. Outside their tight enclosure, I paused.

The scent of Charlie's blood reached me on a shifting wind. My body stiffened and I unexpectedly found myself fighting down my instincts. I wanted to lean down next to him, to hold his hands in his final moments. At the same time, the heat of thirst was burning in my throat, promising an easy release.

With a deep breath, I pushed myself forward through the observers. One junior officer leaned on Charlie's left side, putting pressure on the wound. Delicious apple-red liquid pulsed through the improvised bandaging. I forced myself to look quickly away, and caught Charlie's eyes.

"Nessie?"

His voice was weak and airy. One of the bullets must have punctured his lung. I could hear blood pooling in the back of his throat. He gave a fragile but beaming smile. All eyes turned on me.

"Charlie," I cried.

I dropped to my knees on his right and took his hand. The rest of the force was all wondering who I was, no doubt. Though I frequently visited the Swan house, we made certain I was never seen in public with them. Though a well-liked man, Charlie had few friends, and none of them among the officers. Still, Forks was a small town. Strange faces were rare. The minds of the surrounding crowd were occupied with the severity of the moment, but this would surely stir up questions later.

But I didn't think about all the consequences. In the back of my mind, a quiet tick-tock that had started 80 seconds before droned forward.

"I'm so sorry, Nessie," he whispered, trying to raise his hand to my check. I weaved his fingers through mine and raised the back of his hand lovingly to my face, brushing it against my cheek.

"Shhh, there's nothing to be sorry for."

"I won't be with you anymore," he continued as though I hadn't spoken. He knew. He knew this was it. "You tell everyone… how much I… love…"

Speech was growing beyond him.

"Charlie, I love you, so much," I cried. "I wish I could show you…"

I hesitated. Was it too much of a risk? Surely no one would have any idea what was going on. They didn't even know who I was. I could already hear the whispers of the officers behind me. _Who is she? Isn't that Bella? Bella is older, she's married. Looks like Bella, though…_

The ambulance crept nearer with every moment. Alice said he would not survive long enough for it to arrive. Already his heartbeat faded as his eyes dried and his muscles surrendered.

"Bobby," the man pressing down on the wound shouted to an officer behind him. "Clear a path for that ambulance to get in here. Don't you die, Chief."

I leaned closer to him and pressed my lips to his check. I took a quickened, deep breath and let the warmness of my inner visions flow out my fingertips and into his hand. His eyes rolled sideways in an attempt to see me, or perhaps to see where all the images floating through his brain were coming from. I couldn't tell him in front of everyone, nor had I the time, how much he had meant to me, but I could show him. I sorted past our most precious memories in the space of a few seconds.

 _The first time we met, when he called me the prettiest baby ever born…_

 _The late summer evening we ran around his backyard catching fireflies, and Sue trailing us with a mason jar…_

 _The birthday party Alice had thrown for me and Bella a few years ago, and Charlie's bewildered face looking at our nearly uneaten cakes, both with a huge candle "3" burning on top…_

 _His and Sue's wedding party on the reservation two years ago..._

 _Charlie dancing with me last summer at my parent's impromptu fifth wedding anniversary party..._

 _Charlie and me walking on La Push with Sue, Jacob and Seth six months ago…_

The connection broke.

Blackness.

His last breath slipped past his placid smile just as the ambulance's tires came to a stop. Two burly paramedics leaped out, equipment in tow as one of the officers encouraged me to move out of the way. For a moment, my attention was too scattered to remember to give in.

"Please, miss, let the paramedics by."

He pulled on my shoulders as hard as he could. I let go of Charlie's hand. It fell the ground limply. I stood and backed away as a breathing bag was placed over Charlie's mouth. On his other side, another paramedic began chest compression. My mind flickered back to a memory of Bella, covered in blood, nearly ripped in two, with Jacob and Edward trying to restore her heartbeat, before Rosalie's face emerged before me.

"Miss?"

My head turned to the officer who had been holding the makeshift bandage over Charlie's gunshot wound. He was standing right next me. My mind was being overrun by grief. I had been too distracted to hear his approach.

His face was set in a most curious glance of wonderment, but inside, I was numb. I was lost in the painful realization that the paramedics' efforts would be in vain: my grandfather was dead. The tear drops pooling in the bottom of my eyes drew down my face at last.

"Miss… Nessie?" he was almost half smirking. What an inappropriate expression to be wearing just feet away from a man whose life had just ended. I could see the struggle in his eyes, trying to figure out what question to ask first. "Did you know Chief Swan?"

 _Did_ I know him? He was already speaking of him in the past tense?

I nodded curtly before realizing the mistake. No, I shouldn't make this public connection. I quickly forced myself to shake my head in denial, hoping to cancel out the first indication.

"Then… why are you… who are… how did you know…"

"Officer Newton!" another officer beckoned.

Thank goodness for the distraction. The second officer directed Newton to the sound of the dispatcher coming over the radio a police motorcycle. Newton walked towards the bike to get a better listen. I listened too, quite capable of hearing at this relatively minor distance.

"Suspect getaway car has been located abandoned two miles east south east of incident, on NFD 29 near Three Bends. Suspect is believed to be on foot and trying to escape into the forest. Believed to be armed and heading towards the river."

"Nessie!"

I whipped around to discover Jacob running towards me, his arms outstretched, his car still idling behind him. Had Alice called him? He would have been coming through town about this time, I recalled, on his way up to our place. It didn't take me anytime to reach him twenty feet away and throw myself into his arms. He squeezed me as hard as his arms would allow him, almost painfully, though I knew he would not hurt me. The hot tears blazed down my cheek, soaking into his shirt. My life's comfort held me close.

"How did you know?"

"Edward called me and told me to find you," he answered, kissing my hair and stroking my cheek. It seemed oddly intimate an action from my best friend, but it was so soothing I didn't stop to wonder. "I'm so sorry."

But something else was bubbling inside me now to confuse the hurt. My two halves, in conflict, unable to resolve between loss and anger. They met in the middle, becoming the fire to rage.

Jacob looked startled as I erratically broken free of his embrace and headed towards his car. I sat behind the wheel without even asking his permission. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jacob slide into the passenger's seat, a look of total bewilderment on his face. I realized how insane I must look, going from a flood of tears to an unyielding determination to hunt in the space of half a minute.

"Miss? Miss!" Officer Newton shouted as I put the car into gear. "We need you to stay here."

His demands did not cause me hesitation. My foot pounded down the gas. Jacob's tires squealed as we took off through Forks, back towards Three Bends.

"What's going on?" Jacob asked desperately.

I swallowed hard before verbalizing the stark truth. "Charlie's dead."

The sound of my voice was different. Was I growling? Jacob's eyes turned to me horrified and accusatory.

"The son of a bitch who did it got away, but I overheard where the bastard is from the police scanner."

I couldn't tell who was more shocked by my new found ability to express the profane: Jacob or myself. Jacob ripped his phone quickly from his pocket. From the dial tones, I could tell he was punching in Edward's number. I took my hand off the steering wheel and closed the flip phone in his hand.

"Don't," I pleaded, not taking my eyes off the road as I took a sharp left turn through a red light, barely missing a bicyclist. "Edward is with Bella, and Bella needs that now. Besides, you know he won't be able to control his temper."

Jacob was dumbfounded. Wolf as he may be, his brain still moved at a human pace. His eyes became a clear indicator of the thought scurrying past: _Then what are you planning on doing_?

A half mile ahead, several state police cruisers lights reflected against an empty Passat. I pulled over to the side of the street before they could see Jacob's car clearly, parking far up into brush as I could. I took the keys from the ignition and tossed them into his lap. As I turned to open the door, Jacob threw all his strength to hold me to my seat. It was easy for him. His strength was so much greater than my own. He turned my chin towards him and looked deep into my eyes, trying to steady my emotions. Lightning broke across my brain, as I remembered what Bella had said to me not a dozen minutes ago, "between _you_ and his pack."

How could have so much transpired in such a short time?

My Jacob begged, "Renesmee." I couldn't recall having heard him address me by my full name before, and the formality forced my concentration back to him. "Please, sweet, take a second and think about what you're trying to do here."

His burning hands cupped both of my tear-drenched cheeks. His brown eyes melted my own. The tears were pooling again, but so was the burning in my throat, for the first time getting the scent of a trophy climbing a heavily forested hill a mile in front of us. My soul ripped into pieces. I had to make a decision: avenge one man I loved, or to turn my back on another. What was Jacob seeing now as he looked at me? Was he seeing innocent Nessie, the girl whom he had watched over all his life? Or was he seeing a vampire determined to seek out satiation for her bloodlust and revenge?

I took several deep breaths, and the tension in Jacob's hands relaxed a little. He began stroking my cheek. His mouth broke a little smile, a prideful smile. He was _proud of me?_

"The police will get him. There's no way he can get away over this terrain. Right now, your mother and father need you to be strong. Come on, let's get you back home."

A flash of Bella, broken and screaming on the ground, trembling in Edward's arms, fighting for tears that would not come ran through my mind and quickly flowed into Jacob's through our touch. I didn't mean to share it, but my overly stressed psyche couldn't keep control. I saw Jacob wince at the pain of my memory. Another image followed: Charlie's final words.

 _You tell…everyone… how much... I… love…_

Jacob's breath caught in the back of his throat, seeing through my eyes Charlie's last breathe part his lips, all while hearing my internal self-conflict- Charlie's blood so sensuously flowing and tempting. The temptation to partake, to save him, to kill him. Surely, Jacob could sense my unease. He could understand how much I had to restrain myself…

Recalling that sweet, sanguine scent doubled back on me without warning, as my senses found its twin - or at least, a close cousin - drifting down the hillside and burning my throat. Jacob called to me as I flew from the car and into the forest. Behind me I heard a loud crack, and then beside me the wolf running, keeping up my pace with ease. Jacob could outrun me, I'd known that. He could turn on me, stop me, pin me down. Why didn't he? Perhaps because this sense for vengeance was just.

The wind aided my efforts, blowing a distinct scent of gunpowder, sweat and adrenaline down the hillside. A mile west, I could hear the jingle of dog collars and human footsteps. _Canine units_ , I concluded. But their German Shepherds could not outrun my wolf and me. We were nearly on him. I could taste the murderer's aftershave, sense his trembling as he struggled to climb through the thick undergrowth into a clear opening ahead. I quickened my pace instinctively. I had hunted many times, but never a human. To my surprise, the task wasn't more difficult, it was _easier,_ more _natural._ It required no thought, no strategy, no effort.

I scaled the hillside in mere moments. Forty feet ahead, I spotted him where the trees thinned and the canopy opened to sky. The thick foliage where I stood, however, obstructed my view. I climbed a tree to gain perspective; Jacob circled behind the clearing and dashed off into the forest. We were a united team, both intent on the same goal. _Kill the human. Avenge Charlie._ Suddenly, I lost sight of Jacob, but I trusted in his tactics as my partner.

I growled at robber across the meadow as I landed in striking position ten feet away from him. He leaned against an outcropping, trembling, pointing his revolver in my direction. Suddenly, his tension eased, the gun falling to his side.

"If you know what's smart for you, kid, you'll turn around, run right back into those woods, and pretend you never saw me."

He had been expecting a police officer, and instead here was a pale-skinned, brown-haired, teenage girl dressed in a hoodie and jeans. I used his misconception of the threat I posed to my advantage. In half a second, I crossed the distance, seizing his shoulders and dangled him three inches off the ground, his back against the cold stone of the outcropping . The gun thudded to the ground. Despite the fact that he was larger than me by at least four inches and fifty pounds, he seemed like a rag doll in my grasp. The scent of the gunpowder lingered on his person. Palatable fear raced through his veins. I felt my lips part into a wicked smile. That fear: so sweet, like peaches. It made the air taste… delicious.

 _No, I mustn't_. The authorities were on their way. All I had to do to ensure justice was to keep him from escaping, and take my leave before they made the clearing.

I lowered his body and allowed him a chance to stand. His knees buckled and he stumbled to the ground. A smirk came across his face as he laughed up at me.

"See, kid. You're got strong arms, but you're weak willed. Walk away. You don't need to be tied up in all this."

I leaned over, grabbed his hair and jerked his head back up.

"Why did you do it? Was it for the money?" I hissed. I had never heard my voice like this before, inhuman and serpentine. My body instinctively lowered to allow my teeth to dance along his jugular. "Is that why you killed an innocent man? Is that why you shot my grandfather?"

His arrogance melted as he met my feral stare. His instincts had finally kicked in, telling him somehow I was a bigger danger to him than he could possibly be to me.

"What are you?" he cried, his whole body shaking. "You didn't see me shoot anyone, kid."

Moving too fast for him to see, I threw his back against the rocks and placed my hand over his neck. I stretched out my consciousness over him and showed him Charlie's dead face.

"What the hell…"

Jacob emerged from the forest into the clearing at last. Behind him, another graceful body ran full speed, almost a blur out of the corner of my eye. It came to a rest on the edge of the clearing thirty feet away. Edward looked at me pleadingly.

"Renesmee, don't…."

But it was too late. Holding his shoulders back with both hands, I let the monster within take control. Flesh shredded under my teeth, and I came to life in a way I never had before as the hot liquid hit the back of my throat. The sensation of his blood filling my mouth felt almost nostalgic. I pulled forth his life effortlessly, drinking it down like a starving man. The last inkling of guilt melted as I was overcome with a sense of justice. This man had killed my kin, and now he paid the price.

Jacob pounced, knocking me off of my dying victim. I growled, hissed, threw fists at him. He phased back, using his massive human body to hold me down. I resisted, but he was too strong. I looked up in his face, his countenance determined but conflicted.

We were both acting on instinct. My vampire instinct led me to hunt and attack a human. His inner wolf led him to take down the attacking vampire. But where I failed to reconnect with that human part of me, he had succeeded. At last, I reigned in my bloodlust and calmed, bringing my breath under control. The temporary serenity at regaining my control ebbed away the next moment when I came to grips with the new sensation of being utterly, wholly sated in a way animal blood had never allowed. It was glorious and horrid all at once. So this was why Jasper struggled so much, why so many other vampires looked at us with disdain. Living on animal blood, we were small echoes of our true selves. The cost of that evolution, however, was the afterward, when the monster within, his hunger satisfied, crept away and left us alone with the understanding of what we'd done. How could giving in to these animal urges, make me anything less than sub-human?

I felt the guilt begin to crash over me as my father's face came into focus over Jacob's shoulder. Without warning, another gun shot. Jacob fell to my side, as the shot pierced his right shoulder blade. He howled in pain. In the distance, the police dogs shifted direction, coming directly towards us. Edward's movements were too swift for even my eyes to follow. One moment he was beside us, then ripping the gun from the murderer's hand, then twisting his neck in a smooth snap, delivering on the promise of death I had started.

"Get Nessie out of here," Jacob cried out as my father came to his aid. "Don't worry about me, stupid leech."

"But you've been shot," Edward argued.

"I'll be fine," Jacob returned, though the blood flowing from his wound filled me with doubt. "Edward, please. Renesmee is going to need you more than she needs me right now. The police are almost here, you have to go now."

What? How could he say that? He wants us to just run away and leave him wounded and bleeding with a dead bank robber's body?

"GO! GO NOW!" he barked.

Edward picked me up from the ground and set me on my feet. He pulled me by the hand across the meadow in the direction of Cullenswood, running at a full sprint. I turned back as we reentered the forest. Police dogs charged Jacob, who sat crumpled up on the floor of the meadow.

I gasped at the stark truth. I let go of my father's hand. The velocity of the abruptly stunted run made me tumble forward to my knees. I cupped my hands over my face. The scent of fresh blood stained my hands. Edward looked at me, panic stricken.

"Oh, lord," I cried. "What have I done?"


	3. Flight

Too many voices. Everyone talked at once. Everyone except Bella, by my side with her arms around me, muted by grief. My eyes focused on a spot on the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look into _their_ eyes again. I'd seen the horror in their expressions when Edward had carried me, weeping, through the door. They'd run to us, desperate to soothe, to calm, to placate; until they saw my eyes – my crimson, guilty eyes. Of them all, it was Esme who had ran from the room to contain her abhorrent reaction. That's how I understood how dire the mistake had been.

They understood immediately. I had attacked a human. I had drunk his blood. I had killed.

"We have to leave," Carlisle had declared. "Did anyone see her?"

"Just me," Edward answered. "And Jacob."

"Jacob?" Alice asked, her voice contemplative. I could almost hear her internal dialogue. _So that's why I couldn't see it._

"He took Nessie down," Edward added. He must have heard their jumbled thoughts, full of concern and disgust. "He wasn't trying to hurt her. He was trying to stop her before it was too late."

"So where is he now?" Jasper queried. "Why isn't he here?"

From the corner of my eye, I could see Bella's head shoot up. It was the first sign of life she had shown since pulling me down by her on the sofa.

"He knew what he was doing," was all Edward replied. "He understood very quickly. I would have argued with him if I didn't agree with him so much. And his blood was everywhere."

I didn't like it. The answer was too cryptic.

"I don't understand," Rosalie added. "Why is _his_ blood everywhere?"

Was she actually showing _concern_?

"He put it all together in his head very quickly, I was … impressed," Edward explained. "She was at the crime scene and overheard where the shooter was. She spoke to Newton, and I think he sort of recognized her. They took Jacob's car from Forks, even though Nessie drove, with the whole police department as witnesses. The police found Jacob with a gunshot wound next to the body."

Finally, I ripped my eyes from the spot on the floor and looked up at my father with near disbelief.

Edward sighed in defeat. "He's going to confess to the killing to keep Nessie… to keep all of us, safe."

I was standing in front of Edward before I had even made the decision to stand, my fists pounding on his unyielding stone chest as the steamy tears rolled found their way down my cheeks again.

"But he DIDN'T!" I shouted. "He didn't lay a finger on him. He barely knew what was going on! He even tried to stop me before I took off after the guy. You can't let him do this!"

Edward seized my hands to stop the flailing.

"Rosalie, Emmett," Carlisle called out. "We need money, passports, credit cards- the usual. In my office, third door on the left side, grab the binder labeled "Moose" and burn the rest. Alice, Jasper- go down to the cottage, grab some of Nessie's things. We'll send movers for the rest after we're sure it's safe."

The family flew out in every direction. Carlisle turned next toward Bella, slowing down to near human speed and sitting beside her on the couch. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her hair.

"Bella, I'm sorry I have to ask you this, but I can't see a way around it," he whispered. "We have to get Nessie out of here, but you're going to need to stay behind. Sue will need you, and someone needs to make arrangements for Jacob's defense. Also, they'll expect you and Edward at the funeral."

 _Funeral._ That word hit me with a force I could not have anticipated. The _funeral._ They would lay Charlie's body down in a cold, lonely grave. We'd never see his face again.

"Of course." Bella's lips barely moved. "Edward and I will stay behind. Thank you, Carlisle."

Esme returned from the kitchen at last, walking over to me and pulling me out of Edward's grasp and into her own soothing embrace.

"My baby," she cooed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sure I would have done the same thing."

Surprisingly enough, I felt betrayed by her empathy. I wanted every one of them to call me out for losing control, for creating this situation. I wanted Esme mad at me most of all, because I deserved it.

"Renesmee," Edward whispered. "Believe me, there is plenty of anger, but yelling will get us nowhere."

"Mom, get him out of my head," I growled. My mother broke from her reverie and looked up, horrified at the veracity of my tone. I tried to soften my voice in appeasement. "Please, I need some privacy now."

"Edward, I'm sorry, I think she's right," Bella agreed. I could tell by the frustrated pang that crossed his face that she had shielded me. "She needs to sort this out on her own."

Carlisle nodded his consent with Bella's actions. "It will be better for her to find her own peace with this." He stood up, taking his keys out of his pocket and placing them in Esme's hands. "As soon as the others are ready, take Alice, Jasper and Nessie to the airport. I'll call on my way to the hospital and arrange the tickets."

"Yes, that's a good idea," Edward was answering to someone's thought. "She'll be safe there while we take care of everything."

"Safe where?" I asked.

"I think Jacob's plan will work in taking any speculation off of you," Edward said to me. "Just in case, we want you untouchable. You need to disappear for a while."

"Yes, but where am I going?" I asked again.

"Someplace safe." Esme smiled.

Alice and Jasper rejoined us, each carrying an overly laden baggage, hastily packed with bits of fabric flowing over the sides. Edward grabbed the bags and dashed towards the garage. Rosalie reemerged from upstairs with two handfuls of cash, both greenbacks and some others, and three passports in her mouth, pursed between her lips.

"Won't SOMEONE please tell me where I'm going?" I demanded, my voice growling again. The human blood fueled my strength, but I wasn't quite sure yet how to control it. Anger was not an emotion I had had much need of.

Carlisle came to my side, throwing his embrace around me and Esme. He rocked us gently, like he did when I was baby.

"You have too much going through your mind right now, dear," his soothing voice explained. "I know we're being a little short on details, but we're doing everything to protect you, Jacob, and our family. Please understand that if we don't tell you too much, it's for your protection. We'll work everything out one way or another, and we'll explain then."

 _Fine,_ I thought bitterly. Carlisle kissed my forehead, then Esme's.

"Let's give them a few moments, shall we?" he whispered in Esme's ear. His eyes dashed to Edward, reemerging from the garage, and Bella, rising off the couch to be at his side. Esme loosed her grasp on me, and she and Carlisle slipped seamlessly out of the room.

I turned to my parents' undecipherable expressions. Tension, perhaps? Concern? Worry? Blame?

As if a wave were crashing over me, the events flashed through my mind and forced closed my throat in a meek gasp. C _harlie's dead. Jacob will be arrested. We are leaving. We are leaving because of what I did._

"This is all my fault. I could have saved him at least. We're leaving anyways; he could have gone through the change and left with us. If only I'd been faster. If only I stayed with him after he..."

 _Please,_ I thought confident that Bella's shield was still wrapped around me. _Please, yell at me. Justify my guilt. Tell me what a horrible thing I've done._

"Renesmee," Bella began, her words smooth but stern, "I was raised the daughter of a cop. When you're a cop's kid, you always know a day may come when he goes to work and never comes home, even in a little po-dunk town like Forks. Charlie knew that, too. He accepted that possibility every time he stepped out the door. He never failed to accept that truth with anything less than pride. Don't you dare corrupt his memory and sacrifice with any trace of your guilt."

Bella knew exactly what to say to drag me out of my self-pity.

"Now, as far as for _your_ actions," she continued. "That will be your cross to bear. You've taken a life. You can't undo it, so saying you're sorry is worthless. Anyways, I don't want you to forget it. I want you to remember it in every crystalline detail. I want you to remember the taste of every drop of blood you swallowed. I want you to feel every shred of guilt you must be feeling right now. I want you to recall with perfect clarity what you were thinking as you drank his life away. I want you to feel like you are unworthy. And then I want you to remember…. I want you always, always to remember and never, ever forget how _ashamed_ I am of you at this moment."

I thought that's what I wanted to hear her say, but as her speech registered in my consciousness, my soul felt crushed. Edward's eyes would have broken me if I looked any longer. It was clear he agreed with her word for word.

"Now, go with Alice and Jasper, and let us fix this mess," he added. "You don't even blink without checking with Alice first. If you get out of line in anyway, Jasper has our permission to render you catatonic."

I nodded. "What about Jacob?"

Edward's right eyebrow arched. "We will make every possible resource available to him. But, the legal process takes time."

"Nessie?" Alice called from the garage. "We're ready."

My parents' faces softened. Would they let me hug them or did my action cost me their affections? My question was quickly answered when Bella threw her arms around me, then too did Edward. They both kissed a check and stroked my face.

Bella whispered, "I know we are being harsh, but we do love you more than anything. We need to take these actions to ensure everyone's safety, most importantly yours."

"Alice and Jasper will keep in you and good care until we get resettled. Try to be strong, my girl," Edward added.

After that, time seemed to lose measure. We drove wordlessly to the airport, Esme dropping us at the curb without a good bye. Our only bags were mine. Alice checked us in as Jasper and I waited in the food court. He threw down a tray with a bottled water and a wrapped hamburger in front of me.

"Perhaps you're forgetting why we're here," I retorted bitterly. "I've already eaten. As if I would touch it,otherwise."

"You might have to get used to it. You won't have many opportunities for hunting the next few weeks where we're going. Human food might become necessary."

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me where that is?" I asked in a classic _this-is-so-unfair_ teenage whine. Jasper gave a wry smile and shook his head back and forth. "What will you and Alice do, then?"

"We'll go back to the main land every so often."

The words were out of his mouth before he had realized he'd given away the purse.

"Isle Esme?" I asked, full of anticipation. Jasper hissed at his own gaffe, but nodded his head nonetheless. "We haven't been there since I was three."

"It was Carlisle's suggestion," he conceded. "It's very remote. No contact to the outside world. And it's the type of place that … gives you time to think."

I opened the hamburger and gave it a small sniff. Simply vile. To appease Jasper, I took the smallest nibble and nearly gagged as I tried to swallow. A sip of the water cleared my throat. I looked up at Jasper to gauge his reaction, but his attention had shifted to one of the overhead TV's. A news anchor sat at a desk with an icon of a police cruiser over her right shoulder and the caption "Police Chief killed in line of duty" written along the crawler on the bottom of the screen. I picked out the voice stream that matched the twitching of her mouth and listened.

"….and it all happened earlier this morning in the otherwise peaceful town of Forks, Washington. We go live to Martha McGuire with the story."

The image shifted to blonde women in a gray business suit, a large microphone in hand, standing in front the bank where I had held my grandfather's hand just hours before.

"That's right, Catherine. There's an overwhelming sense of grief in this small town of 3200, where around 7:46 this morning Capt. Charles Swan, a twenty-seven year veteran of the force, was shot and killed in a failed robbery attempt at the First National Bank you see behind me."

Charlie's photo in uniform flashed up on the screen. I felt my breath catch and my insides twist. Jasper didn't hesitate to keep me from making a scene by breaking out into a torrent of tears. I felt my muscles ease and a sense of calm descend over me as he pulsated waves of relaxation in my direction.

"According to Officer Michael Newton, who I just finished speaking with, three shots were fired, two by the robber, and one by Chief Swan, as the robber fled the scene from the backside of the bank in a late model Passat. Now, Catherine, as unusual a morning this was in Forks, the story doesn't stop there. State police were able to track down the getaway car just a few miles outside of town and used canine units to follow the scent of the suspect into the Olympic National Forest. One mile off the highway, they found the robbery suspect _deceased,_ along with another man who has been taken into police custody for questioning."

The camera flashed back to the anchor woman. She was clearly surprised by the twist. I could not help forgetting that I was not.

"Are they saying if this second man is an accomplice?" she asked.

"They aren't saying much of anything at this point. The only information we have on the second man is that he is a twenty-three year old local. Police aren't saying at this time what his connection to the events of this morning might be. Also, the Forks Police department is trying to locate another individual they feel might have had some knowledge of today's events for questioning. She's not being called a suspect, just a person of interest at this point. She is described as 16-17 years old, approximately 5'5", long black hair, ivory skinned, brown eyes, weighing about 115 lbs."

Jasper pulled me up by hand so hard I nearly felt pain. He led me through the crowded food court, his eyes searching for Alice. He found her just stepping away from the ticket counter, three boarding passes in her hand. His words were near-silent and highly accelerated and I had trouble following them.

"We need to get on the plane now. How much longer before it takes off?"

"50 minutes. What's happened?"

"The news has broken. They're looking for Nessie."

"We'll get on now. Keep her calm."

Keep her calm? The police were looking for me for good reason. Had they forgotten that I _had_ killed a man? I should be found. I should be made to answer for my actions.

I felt … nauseous? I had never been physically ill before, but I imagined this must be what it felt like. A cold sweat formed over my brow as my mouth went dry. The whole room started to spin. I couldn't keep my legs straight; my knees wanted to buckle. Jasper slid his arm around my waist and supported me through the security check. A few minutes later, I was lowered into a plush seat.

"I'm sorry for this, Nessie," I heard Jasper whisper in my ear as he sat down beside me, "but it's probably better if I just put you under the rest of the way."

The eyes felt too heavy to debate him. I could hardly string a coherent thought together before everything went black.

I don't know how much later it was when my eyes fluttered open to a very bright room, the sound of crashing waves filling my ears.


	4. Neary Numb

NEARLY NUMB

"How is she today?" Alice asked, walking in from the beach with a bowl full of sea glass.

I must have had fallen asleep on the sofa. It was so comfortable, out in the open sitting room with the doors open so that the sea breeze would cool me off. The bedrooms did have very comfortable and aesthetically pleasing beds, but the rooms themselves were so hot well into the night it nearly impossible to sleep. I would try for hours before giving in and dragging a pillow out the sofa and bedding down there instead.

I opened my eyes to see Jasper sitting across the room on an armchair, starring at me expressionlessly. I stared back at him just as stoically.

"Waiting for me to burst into flames or something?" I asked quietly. He gave me a crooked smile without moving a single other muscle in his face. Alice flitted to his side and sat on the arm of the chair. She held up her bowl of scavenged treasures inviting him to look. He gaze did not break from mine.

My daily diagnosis session. What was I projecting this morning? More frustration? More helplessness? Or just endless bitter, bitter grief, self-blame and loathing…

But after weeks of crashing waves, burning hot days and sticky, humid nights, and near isolation from everything that defined my world, the emotional pool had run dry. I sat up on the coach and stretched, getting oxygen into my muscles. Alice found these human aspects of mine so endearing. Again, as I arched my back and threw my arms back and forth, she titled her head and cooed. But Jasper's small chuckle gave her a start.

"What is it?" Alice asked him.

"She's numb this morning," he stated. "About time."

"Being numb is a good thing?" I debated. "Do tell."

"Being numb is a better thing," he corrected. "It's the best mood you've been the whole time we've been here."

"Right. Breakfast time then," Alice chirped and danced off to the kitchen.

I groaned. Although her cooking had improved with practice, I felt so weighted down by the human food I had been forced to endure for the last several weeks.

"Not steak and eggs again!" I argued.

"What else?" Jasper laughed. He must have sensed my disgust.

"Can't I just hunt down a shark or a whale or something?"

Jasper smirked. "Cold-blooded animals don't taste right."

Yes, I guess that was likely. There were certainly hierarchies of taste. I had gotten by most of my life on deer and elk, but herbivores tasted none so good as the occasional brown bear or bobcat I was able to track through the forests of Washington. And then there was one prey that was far beyond any of them…

I shuttered at the recollection of taste of human blood. It had taken all of three weeks for my body to process it all out of my system. Now in the two weeks since, I was going through a sort of withdrawal. As if Isle Esme's climate weren't enough to contend with, I had been suffering night sweats and jittery days. Alice had tried to curb the effects by taking me hunting on the mainland, but the moment we pulled the boat into port, I picked up the scent of a group of fisherman unloading their early morning catch. Jasper had detected my instinct shifting fast enough to stir the boat back out to open sea.

The moment was broken by ringing of Alice's phone. In the kitchen, between the banging of a pan on the stove and the closing of the cupboard, I heard her flip it out of her pocket and answer.

"Hello?... Yes, she seems to doing better. At least the constant stream of tears has stopped. What's happening there? ….. No, I'm blind as a bat with my radar jammer nearby. … Should I just put you on speaker? Okay, wait just a second."

Alice reentered to find my folding my blanket and Jasper fingering through the bowl of sea glass. She set her cell phone on the table between us.

"It's Edward."

With a flick of her finger, the speaker phone clicked open , and I could hear the reverberation of empty air.

"Daddy?" I asked meekly. I hadn't spoken with him in five weeks. A lack of communication with those I loved was one of my punishments, Alice had explained earlier.

"He was arraigned today," was his simple response. The _he_ in question was clear. But, the woeful tone of my father's voice was unexpected. What was it that was leading him to sound so weary? "He pled innocent by way self-defense. The DA is pushing for involuntary manslaughter. Carlisle is trying to find some 'expert' witnesses to attest that the neck injuries were caused by his struggle through the forest, causing the blood lose."

"How will they explain the fact that they can't find his blood anywhere in the forest then?" I asked dully. I had already mapped out in my head the possible scenarios that would be attempted, but this was a problem I had discovered with this particular scenario.

"It's Forks, dearie," Alice smiled. "Remember the near constant presence of rain?"

"The sun was shining that day."

Alice's smile faltered. "We'll just have to hope that they didn't go too thoroughly over the crime scene before the rain came back that night."

"The bigger problem we're running into right now," Edward continued ", is explaining the circumstances that Jacob was found in."

"Meaning?" Jasper asked, staring at the phone on the table before him.

"He had just phased from wolf to hold down Nessie," Edward answered. "Naturally, the DA is curious why Jake was naked when he was found."

Everything that morning had happened in such a blur, it had not even registered with me that Jacob hadn't had any clothes on. He was always very cautious not to phase in front of me or anyone else for that matter to avoid the awkwardness. My mind suddenly replayed the image in my brain and I realized my father was right. I felt my face flush as the fact that Jacob had pinned me to earth, that his bare body had been holding down mine washed over me. Jasper gave me another revealing smirk. Again, I flushed, but this time from knowing that Jasper had sensed my momentary sensation of… something different. Lust?

"Maybe write it off as a spirit-quest Quileute thing, just circumstantial that the gunman ran into him while he was out there," Alice suggested. It didn't sound like an all-together bad idea. The Quileutes were a relatively small and culturally isolated tribe, and not much of their customs had been studied or documented.

"That's certainly a tact we will be trying," Edward agreed from afar. The use of the word _we_ had not escaped me _._

"How is he?" I asked bluntly. Again, the he in question was all too clear.

"Jacob is doing fine," Edward answered. "He is handling everything with so much maturity and class. He doesn't think too much about how much of a sacrifice he's making. He just goes day to day happy that the police don't seem to be interested in you anymore. He's glad you're safe, and he never stops thanking us for getting you out of harm's way so quickly. Of course, Leah is not your biggest fan right now."

I felt the well of tears polling up again. Jacob had many good qualities. His near devotion to me was something I had always taken for granted. I had never questioned why. All that I had changed the morning my grandfather died. Jacob had ceased to be my constant companion; but he had thrown himself to the wolves, so to speak. He was living his whole life for my sake.

"He is a fool," I concluded. Jasper and Alice were taken aback. Even a small gasp from the phone's speaker told me Edward was surprised as well. "Why is he doing this? It's not like he couldn't escape if he didn't want to. He could easily leave Washington and go anywhere- they'd never catch him. Why is he insisting on this drama?"

"He is doing what is necessary to keep our family safe," Edward rebuked. "You would do well to remember that."

"What about him, though!" I shouted. "What if he gets convicted? He never killed a person in his life. Is he expecting me to just sit aside and go on living my life while he sits in prison for a crime he never committed?"

"Jacob trusts us to do what's right," Edward returned, as always satiny smooth while being bluntly harsh. "We will get him through this. Jacob is part of our family, and we don't abandon our family."

"Dad, I'm so scared for him," I whispered. The tears again had found their way down my cheek. "I _do_ understand what he is doing. But I couldn't endure if something happens to him because of what I did. If he is convicted, I'm not sure I could…."

My voice tapered off. I looked up from the phone to Jasper and Alice, hand in hand, their gazes full of curiosity and concern.

"…you're not sure you could go on living."

Edward completed my thoughts so succinctly. I swallowed back my tears and nodded. Although he could not see me, I'm sure my silence served as a confirmation.

"He is doing all this because of how much he loves you, Nessie," Edward continued. "He would rather face a 20-year prison sentence than see you suffer a moment. We'll see you soon, sweetheart, and it may all make better sense then. Alice, take me off of speaker."

Alice snatched up the phone and hit its keypad in half a second. She left the room and resumed her post at the stove. Jasper threw his arm around me and lowered me to the couch. I turned my head onto his shoulder and let the tears flow freely. He made no attempt to calm or sedate me. He had been right. Numb was better.

"You're not going to swing me?" I asked him through gasps, surprised that he was allowing my wallowing to endure.

"Not all painful tears are wrong," he answered, stroking my cheek. "No, you cry until you can't cry anymore. I can't think of a better way to deal with what you're feeling."

"You can't be serious!"

Alice's voice rang out from the kitchen with a tone of disgust. My mind immediately was busy constructing dire realities of yet another twist of fate against us.

"Fine!" she added after a moment. "I guess it's a small sacrifice. Nessie and Bella will actually look very good. We'll see you a few days then."

I heard her flip phone close. I felt a slight spark of hope. _We'll_ see you a few days. Either Edward was coming to us, or better yet, we were leaving the island and going to him. Either was a welcomed change.

After a few minutes, Alice bore a tray of juice, bloody steak, and eggs over easy and set in on the table in front of me. I rolled my eyes in disgust, but hunger wins in the end. I set about eating my human food like the good little half-human they wanted me to be.

Jasper stood to put his arms around Alice. He must have sensed that she needed comforting, but her face revealed only frustration.

"Nessie, you'll need to pack your things, we'll be leaving tonight," she informed me. "Jasper and I need to hunt before getting on the plane. I trust you'll be okay here for a few hours by yourself?"

I nodded obediently. It wasn't as if I was going to throw a wild kegger.

"Carlisle has found a new house and taken a job," she continued. "Esme has been setting up everything with the movers and all of things are supposed to be there tomorrow, so I guess it's time to move on. We'll also need to do some _shopping_ on our way."

That was assumed with Alice. But the tone of the word shopping made it sound like a very unpleasant thing. Alice find shopping for anything unpleasant? Would my world never cease flipping itself on end? I looked up at her, eyes full of curiosity.

Her teeth clenched as she answered through a manufactured smile.

"School uniforms."


	5. Lac de Brouillard

"It looks a lot like Forks," Emmett grumbled as we drove up the Atlantic coast. "Except, you know the water's on the wrong side."

Yes, there was a thick forest, lush vegetation, and the day was dreadfully overcast, but I couldn't see the similarities beyond that. The air didn't taste right; too much sea salt and fish. And the sounds were all wrong; too many chirping song birds. But I did appreciate Emmett trying to make me feel at home. I found his eyes in the rear view mirror as he glanced up and smiled. He gave a little wink.

"Aren't we getting close yet?" Jasper queried. "We left the airport over an hour ago."

Taking back roads and not high ways had let us speed more easily. All of five of us jammed into Emmett's Jeep was not the most comfortable seating, but the bumps and curves of New England back roads had me tossing like a rag doll at moments. Of course, Alice and Jasper seated side by side beside me and Rosalie and Emmett in the front could have been cement for all the effect it had on them. According to the directions I had looked up at the airport, the suggested route between Bangor and Lac de Brouillard was 119 miles. Emmett's new jeep could handle all of it fine. I wasn't sure the steak and eggs still in my stomach from yesterday morning could.

"It's just 20 or so more miles now," Rosalie answered. "We'll have to slow down a little to get through the village. Not that there's much to it; a few boutiques and art galleries. Sorry, Alice, no Prada."

Alice just smiled and stuck up her finger. "The internet is my friend. Besides, I've been thinking it's time to start making my own. Not that we'll be having many places to wear them."

Rosalie smiled. "The uniforms are not so bad, Alice. It's not like when we went to St. Catherine's back in the 70's. The materials breathe now. They're almost bearable."

"Hmph!" was Alice's tempered reply. I was tempted to tell on her to Rosalie and mention how she had spent 45 minutes on the phone with the manufacturer giving advice for a different cut or trim to the skirt and a wider sleeve on the shirt on the flight. It seemed important enough to her to pay $7.50 a minute on the airplane phone service, but seemingly to no avail.

"Give it a chance, Alice. Jasper might like them," Emmet laughed. I heard Rose click her tongue and turn away in disgust. "I know Rose's did something for me when she tried it on."

"Emmet, please, there is a minor in the car," Alice hissed. Emmet rolled his eyes, but suppressed his laughter.

"Oh, please," I spoke up. "You forget who I live with."

Emmet burst out in a boisterous chuckle, joined by Jasper. Even Alice and Rosalie were giggling.

"I knew it! Like rabbits still, aren't they?" Emmett chortled, slapping his knee. "Sorry for you, Nessie. I'm sure no kid likes to picture their parents. I'm sure you're sorry to have your sharp ears at night."

"They had the good grace to sound proof their room when I was old enough to understand what was going on," I laughed. "At least well enough that I couldn't hear anything anymore."

"Yea, no such luck with the new house," Emmett mumbled. "Every room has a beautiful view of the lake and paper thin walls. Maybe we should get you some earplugs."

Rosalie gave him a dirty glance and a knock on the arm. Jasper let out a sigh. I agreed; I found Emmett's immature demeanor off putting as well. I decided to change the subject before Jasper decided to go all lava lamp on us.

"What is it like?" I asked curiously.

Rosalie had given Alice so little information on the house even though she and Emmett had arrived a week before to make some pre-move renovations. Esme and Carlisle had relocated two weeks before. Only Bella and Edward had stayed still in Forks, making arrangements for moving the cars and furniture. They also were prepping Jacob's defense team. The trial was scheduled to start on October 25. Yes, Edward was right. The legal process did move slowly. Edward and Bella were to arrive in two days, I had been told on the plane.

"The house? Six bedrooms, four baths, 5400 square feet." Rosalie recited the stoic details as if reading an advertisement. "There's a three car garage attached to the house, and another separate six car garage Emmett and I threw together yesterday. The lake is about a half-mile away, but the house sets up a hillside, so you can see it from everywhere. The property joins to miles and miles of forests, so there's lots of hunting ground. There is another house a few miles up the road, a very old house; early Victorian, I think. I'm not sure anyone lives there. We ran along the side of the property the other night, and there didn't seem to be anyone about. There was a faint human scent, though. We think it might be a vacation property that isn't used too much. Lucky for us."

"The school?" Alice asked. There was a slight sense of apprehension in her voice. Clearly, any institution lacking the compassion to allow their students to express themselves through the proper application of Louis Vuitton and Armani was to be viewed with suspicion and contempt.

"The school is actually very impressive," Rosalie continued, glancing over her shoulder on occasion. "It's a very prestigious school- a proper long line of blue bloods, and all. Several senators and even some old European royalty have graduated from it. It takes in boarders you see, in addition to local day students. The best part of all is that it is just across the Lake from us. And the lake keeps it hidden most of the time, so we shouldn't need to skip too much. And on top of everything, we might actually learn something."

"What do you mean the lake keeps it hidden?" I asked.

" _Lac de Brouillard-"_ Emmett responded in a ridiculously accentuated French drawl. "Zhe lake ov zhe fog!"

"It's kind of a weird weather anomaly. You see, the lake is really deep and cold. And it sits in a small valley that opens to the ocean after a few miles. So, all the warm air running down from the upstate plains and the moist air running up the valley from the ocean, and then they meet over the cold lake and, batta-boom-batta-bing, a nearly constant bed of fog about two hundred feet over the lake. The school is the opposite shore, up the other hill a bit, and is almost always under the fog bank. It only clears in the mid-summer and rarely otherwise. It's like it was meant for us."

"Sounds lovely," Alice said in her sing-song way. I could sense some sarcasm if the others did not.

Emmett slowed the car to a mind-numbing 25 mph as we passed through a peaceful, picturesque New England village. It was like someone had created a theme park based on a Norman Rockwell painting. In the mid-July evening, parents were strolling with young children eating ice cream cones down the thoroughfare. In front of a coffee shop, a group of teenagers was laughing and engaging in horse play. I spotted a woman in her shop working an old-fashioned register whose numbers sprang up in a glass-encased window every time she hit a button marked in different denominations.

I heard the front window of the Jeep crack open and felt the rush of the warm, humid air swirl into our presence. I could sense five pair of eyes look at me through the use of mirrors or sideways glances. Before my curiosity could be vocalized, I felt it- the pull of my hunting instinct kicked in. The smell of the vanilla ice cream melting on the children's lip was a nice accent to the pulsing of the blood through their sticky lips. The sanguine-drenched breeze brought a deep burn to my throat. I looked at the nearest target as we slowed to a stop sign: a young couple waiting to pass through the cross walk, the man jostling a pair of car keys in his hand, the woman looking back at a car full of strangers just as intently as I was scoping them. This must be the kind of town where everyone knew everyone else. If I could get out of the car and kill them as they turned the corner down the street into the shadowed arcade between the shops and the parking lot, their absence would be noticed too quickly.

My hand slowly outstretched in the direction of the handle of the car door. I heard Alice suppress a gasp and saw from the corner of my eye her body tense. She was getting ready to restrain me against my will. As my hand bypassed the handle, and locked the car door instead, she relaxed.

"Okay, I guess a test was in order," I admitted, speaking so quietly only their ears would be able to hear it. "I hope I passed."

The couple strolled through the crosswalk in front of the car. I saw the woman throw a quick, concerned glance back over her shoulder towards our car pulling away. Emmett began picking up the pace again as we passed by the last shops on the way out of town. Alice laid her hand on mine. I hadn't noticed I'd been trembling. How very oddly human my reactions became whenever my vampire instincts were being tempted.

"That was kind of sneaky of us," Alice whispered. "Carlisle insisted that we double check once we got to town, seeing as you haven't had a human meal in nearly 24 hours. You did just fine."

"Yes, but I've realized something awful." They all turned toward me, their faces full of panic and concern. Emmett slowed, wondering if he needed to assist in holding me down to my seat. I smiled at each of them in turn. "Forced human food has done something to me. That ice cream smelled really good."

"Half human, but all female," Emmett mumbled, speeding up again.

The tension immediately eased as the car turned off the main road and up an ungroomed dirt road. The jeep began to buck as Emmett failed to slow down much. I understood now why we had all squeezed into the jeep and why one of the bigger, more comfortable cars had not been taken to pick us up from the airport.

"This is going to tear up my suspension, Rose," Alice called over the bang of stones hitting the underside of the carriage. "How long does this go on like this?"

"It's two miles from the main road, another mile drive from the gate to the house," she answered. "Don't worry too much. There's a certain local official who is getting quickly convinced by a general gift from the Northwest Pacific Trust that it's time to pave this road. It should be in place before school starts."

"Why six?" I asked out of the blue.

"Sorry?" Rosalie returned.

"Why six bedrooms? Alice-Jasper, yours, Esme-Carlie, Edward-Bella, me, - who's the sixth for?" I asked.

"Naughty Nessie," Emmett laughed. "It's for Jacob. Just because we're including you in the grown up table at conversations doesn't mean you're going to get away with sneaking him into your bed each night. You do want Jacob to live and not have your dad rip him limb from limb, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "You assume too much."

"What, he hasn't made any moves yet?" Emmett asked as inappropriate and crass as always. "Little girl, you may only be 7 years old, but you are smoking. How can he resist you?"

"No, that's not what I meant," I tried to quickly correct him. With a flush of my cheeks, I realized I had actually made it sound worse. Rosalie was casting me a suspicious glance through the side view mirror as we passed through the gates to the house. "Not that anything… I mean, it's not like I wouldn't…. But, I mean come on, you couldn't expect…"

I cleared my throat and took a deep, cleansing breath.

"Emmett, anything that has or has not gone on between Jacob and me is none of your business." _Not that anything ever has- yet._ "What I meant was …. How are you so sure he's going to get out of this stupid situation of covering up my mistake?"

Emmett threw the car in park as we pulled up in front of the house. Esme and Carlisle already stood at the door, arm in arm, waiting to bombard us with welcomes. Emmett took the key from the ignition and stowed it in his pocket within a half-second. He swiveled his body back and faced me. Every evidence of jest evaporated from his face. He met my gaze with a countenance of devout sincerity.

"Renesmee, we are going to get Jacob back, no matter what it takes."

I smiled and nodded. I heard the door open next to me. The weak door lock mechanism buckled under the pressure from Esme's tug. She didn't wait for me to get out. She swooped me up in her arms and planted kisses all over my brow. I was amazed how she still held me little a child even though I was taller than Alice and almost as tall as her. I felt Carlisle's arm around her and around me. My face melted into complete comfort as the sun lit up my eyes with the glow of their radiant skin.

"My darling," Esme whispered in my ear. "Welcome home."


	6. Letters

Dear Nessie **,**

Don't write. It isn't safe. Everything in or out gets read. You can tell from the handwriting, I'm not writing this either. I'm thinking it and your da…. Edward is writing it to sneak it to you. _[Scriber's note: Again, his idea, darling. Jacob is becoming quite clever and plotting. We'll have to keep a closer eye on him when he gets out.]_

Stop apologizing. It's annoying. I didn't do this just to make you feel sorry. I'm not just saying here until you apologize. I know what I'm doing. I'm fishy to them, but Carlisle came up with bogus medical explanations to explain my _differences_. You wouldn't have been so lucky. One of the first things they did after the arrest was give me a blood test to check for any drugs. I'm sure they would have noticed not being able to get into one of your veins even if they used an industrial drill bit.

 _[Scriber's note: After this, Jacob went on for a bit about the jail itself. If I can summon up his words most concisely in his vernacular, I think he would basically say "It sucks." But then he stumbles around with his words a bit and tries to tell you in his not so_ _coherent prose that it doesn't matter if he was tortured and beaten, he would not see you suffer.]_

One of two things is going to happen. Either they say I'm guilty and I get 10-20 years- really, what is time to us? Or, they say I'm not, and five minutes later I'll be on a plane to you. In any case, we'll be together again. Don't stress. I will do whatever necessary to keep you safe, even if it requires that I go to the chair. Your safety is my first concern.

I have been thinking about sending Seth and Leah out to you, but Eddie _[Scriber's note: I really detest when he calls me this. I get flashbacks to little Eddie Monster. Can you mention this casually to him sometime soon?]_ doesn't think there's any call for it. He says that Maine will be safe, and having two supersized wolves roaming the woods might get attention the Cullens would rather not have. _[Scriber's note: I like them both, but we could use a little break from the smell. I thought telling him that would hurt his feelings, though. Plus, Alice doesn't see us in any danger in the near future, so there's no point in uprooting Leah and Seth, especially since it would leave Sue alone.]_

I will see you soon enough. Eddie _[scriber's note: Ug. Really? Is Edward so hard?]_ says the school you're all going to this fall is really good. So, study hard, make me proud. And Eddie and I agreed, if anyone takes two looks the wrong way at you, they'll never find the body. Take care of yourself, for me.

Jacob

Dear Jacob,

Telling me not to write to you is like telling the sun not to shine. I will respect your requests. I will not offer apologies. I will, however, offer my gratitude for your friendship and devotion, the importance of which I failed to note until they were denied me.

Alice, Jasper and I arrived two weeks ago from our trip. As you can imagine, I am quite delighted to be reunited with the family. I had missed them all so much. I have paid some penance for the misdeed I may have taken by the denial of their presence. I have made dedications within the confines of my own heart to write you sooner. I truly wished to honor your request not to pen anything, but my longing to reach out to you has overtaken me this morning. As I am to make no comment on past actions, I am intent instead to pass a few minutes of your day in a detailing of our circumstances at present.

Our new house overlooks the lake and adjoining valley. Remember when I was younger and Edward would read me the tales of the knights of the round table? I quite imagine that the Lady of the Lake kept residence in such a waterway. So mysteriously, I am told that when the winds shift in late August, it is constantly renewing a self-propelled fog bank that keeps any location within a mile of the lake under an overcast shadow. In the summer as it now, no such phenomenon seems present. Hence, I am inclined to doubt this. However, it seems supported by photographic evidence, and I am thoroughly anticipating its occurrence in the near future. As you know, my family is genetically disposed to be sensitive to sun exposure, and this has made running errands to the village inconvenient.

The school sits on the opposite shore to our home, and on these clear summer days I can see it across the three-mile expanse like a looming tower which I am soon to scale. I am nervous to return to school. Whilst I attended in our last location, I quite often felt that I was more at school than being schooled. But our new home was selected, I have learned, in the prime to offer me an ability to attend this school. It seems that great things are expected of me, and I must be educated to a standard befitting the grandiose visions some people seem to have for my future. I am comforted however, to know that I will be in good company as it has been determined that seven Cullens will enter their sophomore year in unison. I am quite sure that this uniformity is unnecessary, but arguments to the contrary have proved fruitless.

The area around our home is simply enchanting. To call it a house does not do it justice. It looks more like a petite castle, complete with two towers on both the east wing and west wing. Each tower's third level is a bedroom. My bedroom is in the west tower- and the east tower is reserved in anticipation of your arrival. We are set in the rolling hillsides above the lake and away from the village. There are nearly endless forests behind the home, with the exception of one antique Victorian mansion a few miles further up the drive which seems currently unoccupied. We have been roaming the forests, taking in a taste of the fauna (if not the flora). However, I regret that among the menagerie, I am most aching for the discovery of wolves. Nothing will delight me so much as the day I step outside my door and see my beloved lupine friend awaiting me.

If you do not wish to keep correspondence, I will understand. But, please take note that you can expect notes from me on a weekly basis. I must warn you, however, I do believe in the particulars of my familial environment, it is safe to say anything going in or out is also being monitored in one way or another, so take prudence should you choose to return my post. Do not say anything you would regret later.

R.C.C.

Nessie-

You were right. I was wrong. When I got your letter, I didn't read it for hours. I just sat and smelled it. I can taste your scent. It made my day. Please send me as many letters as you want. You don't have to write anything. Just hold the paper for a few minutes and send it off to me. It will be enough that I can smell you.

You will start school in a month I guess. I'm sorry you're nervous. You know there's nothing to worry about. Everyone will be with you. If you do get lonely, Leah and Seth are always a phone call away. Sue, too. She stopped by today, and she wants you to know that even with Charlie gone, she wants to hear from you, if your family thinks that is a good idea.

Do you think you'll make friends? Bella used to say that the Cullens liked to keep to themselves. I guess there are a lot of you all though, so even if that's true, I guess you won't get lonely. Still, try to make some other friends too, okay? Don't make the mistake your mother made and steal yourself away from the world the way she did. The world missed her. A lot.

Tell Rose it's time to rotate the tires on the Mercedes.

Put this letter next to your bed. Pretend it's me and wish it good night. It will be like in the old days when I slept next to your bed. I guess that prison mail monitors will like reading that part.

Jacob

Jacob,

Three weeks until school starts. I am not certain I am ready. Why am I so nervous over something so common place? I will admit to you that it is almost a sense of foreboding. Alice has assured me that there is nothing she's aware of to cause me anxiety. This is of little comfort. The only comfort I could find now is at your side.

We are keeping in touch with Sue, and Seth. Leah still seems unwilling to become overly social with us. She is never rude, only extremely polite. You know what I mean, dear. She is polite to the point of being consequently rude. I am not trying to tell on her, so don't become cross. I am only sharing my frustration. Sue and Seth are like family to me, yet Leah has always kept aloof. I would like so much to be her friend. I think she and I could share a lot, if she'd only lower that wall she keeps up between us. I will hope for a change in time. People can change, if given opportunity. After all, weren't you once Edward's rival? I would venture now to say he is your best friend, outside of Bella.

I stole away a few minutes today and walked down to the lakeshore. Tiny little waves rolled over the bit of sandy beach. I closed my eyes and imagined our trip down to La Push back in March. The ripples that lap the lakeshore are of course nothing compared to the ocean's swell crashing against La Push. But, the sense of rhythm it gave me let the memory fill me up with recollections of you. I could almost feel you next to me for a moment. Jacob, I am so lonely for you.

I placed your letter under my pillow. I hold it my arms when I lay down at night. It would surely look crazy to anyone, but I kiss it each night in your stead. It doesn't suffice. I want the real thing.

R.C.C.

Renesmee,

Let's get to the point. I wasn't crazy that night back in April. Things have changed, haven't they? Please tell me I'm not alone on this.

Jacob

Jacob,

You silly dog. After all these years, you are closer to me that my own jugular. Do you not know my heart? I had decided to tell you that day I last saw you. Bella pointed out to me what should have been obvious. I love you, Jacob Black.

In a way, I'm glad that you're not able to see me face to face when I have admitted this. Control of my physical being is proving a real challenge to me lately. I should fear I would crush you with kisses if you were standing before me. I would destroy you and leave nothing left to love.

RCC

Renesmee,

I would crush you right back. I have cared for you since the first moment I saw you. And I will love you _forever_ _._

Now, after you read this, go find your father and calm him down. I am sure he is fuming.

-J.


	7. Cautionary

I didn't have to _go find him._ Two seconds after reading Jacob's latest letter, he had ascended three flights of stairs and was standing in my tower door. I don't know if fuming was the right word. He didn't look angry. He looked _concerned._

"So, there it is."

I didn't reply. I wasn't quite sure what he wanted me to say. Was he expecting me to apologize? Or, did he want me to explain? Was I in some sort of trouble? His distant expression told me nothing, so I sat on my bed and waited for him to say something. Of course, there is no privacy with Edward. He could hear my internal machinations as if I were thinking aloud.

"No, I'm not angry. I know that surprises you. But, I am… apprehensive."

"Apprehensive of Jacob?" I asked. "He has done nothing but protect me since the day I was born. Has he ever given you a basis to be apprehensive of his intent?"

"It's something more basic than that," he answered, crossing the room to sit next to me on the bed. "He is wolf, you are vampire; it's an ancient instinctive animosity."

"Half vampire," I corrected.

"All the more reason for my concern," he ventured. "Nessie, there have been so few hybrids we know of, and none of them that has tried to live our existence. We are only able to pursue this normality because we have mastered our instincts. Every day of your life is already an experiment into uncharted waters. Jacob and the pack added a complication to that existence, but one we accepted because his intentions have always been magnanimous. But this didn't just happen. It took a long time for all of us to learn to coexist. Again, it was only because we had all mastered our instincts that tell us that we are still enemies. Our instincts still tell us that we must destroy each other."

"I have never felt a temptation to destroy Jacob," I protested.

"Not yet," he said. "But, there's something happening with you lately. I know you've noticed it too. At times, I can hear the conflict in your mind. The monster is trying to find your weak spots and seize control. It happened once last year, when you were picturing killing that girl. I didn't think much of it at the time. Each of us lets our imaginations get carried away sometimes. And you were able to shake it before your instincts kicked in. Then, I saw in your memories of what happened that day in Forks. You lost control. You let your human emotions run wild, and your vampire instincts took advantage of the melee and took over. The consequence is that Jacob is now sitting in a jail cell taking the fall. What happens the next time you lose control and Jacob's around? If you turn on him, his instincts will kick in too. He will turn on you. He has killed many of our kind before. He will kill you, if you do not act to kill him first."

"Love can override all that," I stammered. I detested that everything he said made so much sense. I shuttered for a moment when I remembered how easily Jacob had thrown me down and kept me down that day. It was easy for him, like pining down a kitten. I was using all my strength and could not shake him from me.

Edward placed his hand on mine, and the visions in my head transferred against my own will into his. I heard a small gasp from him.

"See what I mean about losing control; you didn't mean for me to see that," he said, releasing my hand. "Love can override some things, but not _all_ things."

"You were able to override your instincts for Bella." _Zinger_.

His teeth clenched. His black eyes suddenly looked fervent, as he stroked my cheek. His eyes, though, focused on the pulsations in my neck. "Barely. Look at me. Even years later, if I remember the scent of her as a human, I want to taste that blood more than anything in the world. And it never really left me, did it? Some of that same blood flows through your veins."

These were my human instincts fueling me now. I inched away from him, looking at Edward for the first time from human eyes. He was not my father looking at me, he was a predator hearing the rising pulse of my heartbeat, and the heat building in my blood. Is this what I had looked like that day? Saints preserve us.

"I think I see what you mean," I gasped as I rose off the bed and backed to the window. If he mounted an attack, I would jump through the already-opened window. "But I trust what I feel to keep him and I safe."

My motions towards the window and my thoughts of jumping struck at Edward. He quickly reposed himself and drifted backwards towards the doorway, looking confused.

"That's what I'm talking about. It's almost like your human half and your vampire half are dueling out. Your mortal instinct told you to flee. Baby, you know I'd never hurt you. I don't think I could anyways. Your skin is just as tough as mine. Still," he admitted shyly, "I've waited too long since hunting. Will you join me?"

"With the first day of school tomorrow, we should take precautions," I agreed. Perhaps I had overreacted. How could I possible find Edward a threat? He was the love of my life, for goodness' sake.

Well, maybe the second love of my life.

Within a few minutes, we were running at a relatively slow speed up the hillside away from the lake. It was evening, but the sky was still pink and purple, and the light filtered muted through the forest ceiling. I had caught scent of some deer about a mile away. I was about to break into a hunting gait when I noticed Edward's direction had changed, not towards the deer, but towards the empty Victorian mansion.

"What is it?" I asked in hushed tones that no human ears would have detected.

"I hear something from that house," he said. He continued towards the edge of the forest where the property's treeline ended. It brought us about an acre from the back of the house. A second story light was on, but the curtains were drawn. I could see the shadow of a figure moving behind the curtains, carrying something back and forth. _It looks like someone putting things away from a suitcase,_ I thought. I could recognize the repetitive motion I had seen so often in recent weeks when our move had necessitated so much unpacking.

Edward nodded. He leaned in a little closer to the house. His head was turned in a most curious fashion. Something he was hearing from the house did not make sense.

" _You can hear them? How many are there?"_

He put his fingers to his lips as if to hush me. I hadn't spoken.

"Odd," he said in near silence. "Two voices- one male, young. Teenager, probably. The other is…."

A downstairs light flipped on. Even at this distance, we could both see clearly into the kitchen through the sliding glass door.

"… _a woman."_

But she was not just any woman; she was one of the most beautiful humans I had ever seen. Vampire females were always pillars of physical beauty, but that was a lure for prey. Even I knew that my own immense attractiveness was a consequence of genetic advantage, and so I took little pride in the weapon it was meant to be. This woman was handsome beyond humanity. Her skin was the most love shade of light olive, and her hair was thick and long, neither brown nor black but a perfect balance of the two. She was not tall, but nor was she short, and she had a figure of a Hollywood starlet visible despite the plainness of her clothing. She walked with the grace of the most gifted ballerina, even as she heaved two large paper grocery bags onto the counter and slipped an over-sized duffle bag off her shoulder and let it fall to the floor.

She yelled something up the stairs to the shadow figure. Her voice was reverberated easily through the glass of the sliding door and fell onto our ears.

"That's the last time we wait until the last minute before coming back home," she shouted. "How am I suppose to get all this done with and still be ready for class in the morning? I hope your blazer still fits. We won't get down to Portsmouth to order a replacement until the weekend."

The unseen human either gave no reply or did not shout back loud enough for the sound to breach the walls of the house. The woman looked around her kitchen and sighed. With her arms now empty, she crossed the width of the room in a few strides before unlocking the hinge and opening the sliding door. She stepped outside onto the patio and took a deep breath.

" _Have you ever seen human eyes like that?"_ I mentally gasped.

She had green eyes, but not like any human eyes I had ever seen. They were immense, almost as if she had no pupil and there was hardly any white. The black of her eyes should have been enlarged with the small amount of light in the sky. They should have opened as far as possible to allow as much light as they could. Perhaps she had some sort of medical condition, I wondered. But the tint of her retinas was also peculiar. Not a simple Kelly green or pea green. They were a creamy emerald green-

"…. _just like a…."_

"…Cat's eyes," Edward completed my thought. I nodded.

The woman lifted her gaze and stood erect unnaturally fast. Her head turned towards our crouched but hidden position. She was scanning the trees just above us, trying to survey a location.

" _But she couldn't have heard you,"_ I thought. I could read Edward's expression perfectly. He agreed, but something had garnered her attention. Had I shifted my weight and not realized it? I sometimes fell back to human reposes when I wasn't being mindful of my movements. Edward and I remained perfectly still, not moving a muscle. She took a few steps towards our direction and pulled in a deep breath through her mouth. She was trembling. Without turning, she backed into the house, closed and locked the sliding glass door, and drew a curtain over it.

Again, she shouted something up the stairs, but this time the curtain slowed the sound waves so that we could only pick out about half of her words.

"….don't go …yard… I heard…. bear maybe…in case, okay?"

Edward and I took to the woods running at my full sprint, which I knew was still slow for him. We were back on the trail for the deer, which we found without much effort where they had been before. I took down a doe, as Edward targeted one of the young bucks.

I kept seeing the image of the woman's startled eyes run through my head as we made our way back to the house. Edward had not spoken a word. His unfocused glance told me, though, he was disturbed and in contemplation.

"You heard what she said," I tried to interpret his train of thought. "She thought it was a wild animal."

"She said that, but that's not what she was _thinking,"_ he answered.

"So, then, what was she thinking?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered in an astonished tone.

Now I was concerned. What did that mean? Could Edward not hear her thoughts?

"No, I can," he answered my own thought without effort. "I can hear her crystal clear. I just can't understand her thoughts."

"What does that mean?"

Edward hesitated. He could sense the agitation in my voice. Now we were just getting settled, moving again would be unfortunate. But Edward's countenance suddenly changed. He was… dismissive.

"I'm probably letting my imagination get carried away. I'm sure it's nothing. It's like people who look for conspiracies start to see them everywhere. I keep looking for signs of the out of place everywhere, and I guess I'll start finding them whether they're there or not. Okay, to bed with you. I want you bright and chipper on your first day of school."


	8. Bridgeport

If your goal is to remain low key and average, I'm not certain that showing up to your first day at a new school with six fellow new students in a car that costs more than twice the national average income is the best way to do it. Still, we all took our seats in Edward's and Bella's new Hummer, drove down our freshly paved nearly-private road, and turned out towards the road that looped around the far end of the lake and curled back to the Bridgeport School.

"Okay, let's make sure you got it once again," Alice told Bella, glancing over her shoulder to her and me sitting with Jasper in the third-row seat. "Tell me our cover story."

"I have a perfect memory, too, you know," Bella protested. "Just because this is my first run with the phony high school student cover doesn't mean I'm incapable."

"Humor me," Alice begged. I saw her sneak a glance at Edward, sitting in the front passenger seat, through his rearview mirror. I saw him mouth " _Amuse her"_ as Bella's turned back to Alice with a crooked smile.

"Fine. We just moved from British Columbia. We are all foster kids, but Renesmee and I are actual blood sisters and Edward is our cousin. Jasper and Rosalie are siblings. We are all 16, except Renesmee who is 15, and Emmett who is 17. Emmett had mono as a kid and had to repeat a grade, and that's why he's only in tenth grade like the res t of us. Renesmee skipped a grade."

"Which grade did you skip?" Alice shot off the question to me like a drill sergeant.

"The fifth grade," I answered without pause. "Why am I a year younger than everyone? I look the same age as you."

"If you are 15 now, we'll be able to stay here long enough for you to get through college," Edward called back. "Lots of good schools in this part of the country, and the house is sort of growing on me."

"Why are we in foster care?" Alice rounded again on Bella, determined to run down her check list.

"Because all our parents were part of a missionary group who went missing on a trip to Africa three years ago," Bella answered. "The state department thinks they're in a jail in Egypt. Really, Alice, do you think that's believable?"

"I don't see anyone getting that far with their questions," she nodded. "Even if they do, whenever religion gets involved, most humans get uncomfortable and back off. Any questions?"

"Why are you nervous?" Jasper suddenly chimed in. His eyes drew to me, and I felt him drag everyone else's along with him.

"Hmm, she's not sure that she's in control," Edward suggested. "She's nervous that she'll be tempted, that she hasn't learned from her mistake last spring. But you know, dear heart, that you are stronger than that. We'll be there to make sure everything's okay. We made sure that one of us in each class with you. We'll keep you from making any mistakes."

"We've had you down to the village five times in the last month," Jasper added, placing his hand comfortingly on my knee. "You didn't even get tempted once. I know where you're at, kid; this used to be hard for me, too. It just takes practice. You won't slip up, we won't let you."

"She wonders how you can be so sure of her, being that Alice can't see her future and we're just running on faith," Edward continued, glancing at me through the rearview mirror. I shot him back a scowl and hissed under my breath. Edward gave a small chuckle. "She also wonders if she needs to be here for this conversation, or if Jasper and I can go on without her."

Emmett, Rosalie and Alice broke out laughing.

"Just you wait, kiddo," Emmett laughed. "You sit Edward in a classroom, and his mind has nothing to do but wonder. He spends his whole day spying on all of us." Suddenly Emmett's face grew quite serious as his smile evaporated into stern contemplation. "How are you planning to handle that, Edward?"

"I just have to accept that it's going to happen and let it, within reason," he said dismissively. I saw Bella's head jerk up towards him.

"Accept what, Edward?"

Edward just waved his hands as if shooing away the issue. Emmett, however, did not see it as so minor.

"I wondered how is going to deal with hearing the boys' thoughts about you and Nessie," he explained. "I mean, he's been dealing with it for years, hearing all the kids' sick fantasies about all of us. After all, we are all so damn beautiful. Especially me."

He caught my gaze in the rearview mirror and flashed me one of his classic comical smiles. I blushed and turned to look out the window as we turned into the drive of the high school property. The building itself was set a half-mile back from the main road, and I felt the butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter.

"He's going to hear every little detail of what each boy imagines doing to you two," Emmett continued. "As we know, our Edward airs towards the dramatic overprotective side, so I wondered how he's going to get through the day without ripping the throats out of half the student body."

"I'll deal with it just fine, Bella, there's no reason to worry," he assured her. "Thinking something is one thing. I won't take any actions unless someone has intent."

"And what is intent in your opinion?" Rosalie questioned. She could suddenly see the potential hazard as clearly as Emmett. Rosalie was always the first to stomp out any action that would lead to uprooting. She clearly had nesting issues. "Will you be looking for rapist only? Or is even the attempt of a boy to ask out your wife or carry your daughter's books a crime?"

"That is something to consider," Bella agreed. There was silence for a moment as Emmett parked in the far side of the parking lot. I looked hesitantly out the window up to the sky. The fog had returned as predicted, and we safely could move about without worry, I concluded.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward asked. I turned towards her. She sat in her seat perfectly normal, not looking like she was doing much of anything. "Stop it. That is completely uncalled for."

"If we need you to hear something, I'll let go," she answered. "But for everyone's safety, let's not be too careful, shall we?"

I was confused. As well as I knew my parents, I had no idea what they were talking about. I looked around at Jasper and Rosalie; they looked as perplexed as me.

"She's confining him in his own head," Alice revealed. "Very smart, Bella. That may avoid some of it."

"Avoid some of what?" Bella turned towards Alice, apprehension coloring her tone. She grabbed her back pack from between her legs and opened the door.

"Well, I can't say for certain what, but I saw Edward sitting in detention this afternoon," she smiled. "Detention is good. It means he was just disobedient. Still, doesn't hurt to start the year off right. Right?"

We all disembarked the massive car and began walking towards the door. We must have looked like a page ripped from a uniform catalog. Pretty perfect figures; sculpted male bodies, blue-green plaid skirts, perfectly ironed white blouses, double-breasted, Bridgeport-crested blazers. Even our backpacks were Bridgeport issued. Alice had concluded that if we were to be limited to uniforms, we might as well go all the way. I reflected on that as I tied my hair behind my head with a blue-green plaid bow.

Of course, every student who was streaming in from the parking lot turned in our direction, awe struck. We didn't stop to look at any of them. I could hear Edward's teeth gnashing, and guessed that he must be frustrated at being surrounded by so many minds and not having a clue what any were thinking. Of course, though, we knew what most of them were thinking. We could hear them whisper under their breathes.

"You're kidding. _Those_ are the new kids?"

"Target identified."

"You take the blonde, I'll take the brunette."

"Those can't possibly be real."

I stayed focused on moving humanly. While it wasn't as much of a challenge for me as the rest, I still found myself doubtful. I had never had to be amongst them in human environments. Not all of them at the same time, anyways. They were clearly different from all the rest of the students. I knew I was, too. But I still was not different in the same way as them. I was… somehow less than them.

Emmett led our way to the freshman and new student orientation table in the cafeteria. We waited in line to receive our schedules. The middle-aged, gray-suited woman thumbed through a pile of printed computer sheets and ripped out each in its turn from the transfer binder.

"Cullen, Alice. Cullen, Edward. Cullen, Emmett. Cullen, Isabella. Cullen, Ren… Reni… Rensimee? Hale, Jasper. Hale, Rosalie."

Alice grabbed me by the arm and began to lead me through the crowded hallways towards the back of the school. Again, the heads of each student turned as we walked, the boys in wonderment, the girls in disgust.

"We have first period together!" she chirped. "French I."

"But Alice, you already know French- wouldn't have rather challenged yourself a little more?" I suggested as we ducked into a quickly-filling classroom. "This school actually offers classics. Wouldn't you rather have learned something new?"

"It would be all Greek to me!" she laughed. I cracked a small smile at her pun as we found two seats near the back of the class. "The French isn't for me. It's for you. After too much effort to mention, Bella has agreed to let you come to Paris with me this Christmas. A compensation for the uniforms is some time with you on the Champs-Elysées."

"Yes, but I already know French," I argued.

"Well, then, this should be an easy A for you," she concluded.

Next came trigonometry with Edward. Of course, he stared at me the whole time to make sure I was paying attention to the instructor. In the past he would have just monitored my thoughts. I knew Bella was half the building away in the Chemistry lab, and I wondered at her ability to keep Edward so well regulated. Third period was Fine Art with Rosalie, followed by fourth period English literature with Bella.

Being with Bella for a few minutes was a bit of relaxation. This was only her second time going through high school, and I wondered what her experience was like compared to mine. We sat at a table in the back of the classroom while the instructor, an ancient man all of 70-some years of age named Dr. Alexander Contas, droned on about the great works of Britain we would pursue for the term. I looked down on the table while Dr. Contas detailed a reading schedule for _A Tale of Two Cities_ as Bella passed a note to me.

 _How is your day so far?_

 ** _Extremely monitored. Every class I walk into, I'm chaperoned. A little breathing space might be nice._**

 _I thought you wanted us to be there for you? I'm confused._

I sighed **.** ** _Of course I do, but for me, not sitting next to me like I'm a three-year old child needing restraint. Edward was the worse. He stared down every student who glanced at me during math._**

 _He tends to do that. You'll get used to it._

I let out the most silent groan. **_No offense, but I don't really want to be a stand in in the reenactment of_** **** **your** **** ** _high school experience._**

 _My high school experiences turned out pretty well for me._

 ** _Are you saying I should keep my eyes open for my destined soul mate on the off chance that he's attending school in Lac de Brouillard so that we can embark on a tortured Romeo and Juliet story that will ultimately lead to an earthshaking eternal love?_**

 _Don't get snippy with me. I know about the letter from Jacob. I know how you feel about him. But, you have choices. Maybe opening your eyes to other possibilities in Jacob's absence would be good for you._

I clicked my tongue and shook my head in disapproval. Bella rolled her eyes and began scribbling on a clean sheet of paper.

 _I'm not saying look for an alternative to Jacob. I'm saying look to make friends besides us and Jacob. Be a little human for awhile._

As we walked to the cafeteria after class and gathered trays of food destined to remain uneaten, I began to ponder what Bella had said. I had never thought of trying to make friends with any humans, but the thought appealed to me. I recalled all the books had read and all the movie I had seen. They made it seem like a girl having friends wasn't only nice, it was necessary to be truly human. But, then again, I wasn't truly human. I stood in the lunch line waiting to pay for my meal, I became distracted. The Cullens had already scoped out and claimed a private table near the far side of the room. I somehow had fallen behind. I reached the end of the line when I realized that I had left my wallet back in my locker.

"That' $5.50, honey," said the cashier, smiling at me sweetly. She could see my fumbling through my pockets, looking to see if some magical 10 spot might appear where there was none.

"I'll pick that up for her, Doreen."

Out of the corner of my eye, someone was handing the cashier a ten dollar bill. I turned around, aware of my blushing before I even met his eyes.

Humans were not suppose to be this beautiful. Was it something in the water? He smiled at me through a face that would have melted any girls' heart. His eyes were gloriously blue, like the water at La Push on clear, sunny days. His skin was simultaneously dark and pale, like a fair-skinned person who had been darkened by systematic sun exposure. His hair was short cropped and jet black. He stood at my side a little closer than was comfortable. I took a half step away from him. He smelled like cherry blossoms.

"You must be one of the new transfer students?" he asked as the woman handed back his change. He had a tray full of food as well, but Doreen didn't ask for payment for his things. I nodded. I couldn't find words. I knew so many, where did they all go? He held his right hand out to me as he grasped his tray with the other. "One of the Cullens or one of the Hales?"

I was shocked he knew. Were we the only new students this year?

"Cullens," I answered meekly, placing my right hand in his. I regretted the decision at once. Would he notice how warm my hand was compared to his? If so, he made no suggestion of it. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward rise up as Emmett tried to casually pull him back down without damaging furniture or causing a scene. "Renesmee Cullen."

" _Renesmee?_ " he repeated. I nodded mindlessly. "Well, that's the first I heard that one. I'm Mathias Dragonovitch. It's a pleasure to meet you, Ren."

Edward was down, but now Bella jumped up. Alice took her turn to quell the commotion.

"Thank you," I mumbled as he turned away. "I'll track you down later and repay you."

"Don't worry about it, Ren," he smiled. My knees suddenly felt shaky. He gave the quickest a little wink, and I heard my heart flutter. "A welcome present to a beautiful new Beaver."

"It's the damn school mascot," I heard Emmett say to Edward through clenched teeth. "Get a hold of yourself."

Edward's fist hit the table. A few students, startled by the noise, shuttered and looked back to the Cullens table. Mathias had not seemed to notice, saints be praised. He was heading in the opposite direction towards a table of what any teenager would recognize as "the in crowd."

I knew it was my queue to hightail to our table before any more innocent comments were misconstrued. I crossed the width of the room as quickly as humanly possible and set my tray on the table across from Rosalie. I grabbed my milk bottle and tore off the cap. As I chugged down half the bottle in one sip, six pairs of eyes stared at me in disbelief.

"What are you doing?" Rosalie said disgusted.

"I know," I answered, wiping a ring of milk from my lips with a napkin. "But my mouth was just really, really dry all of the sudden."

"Bella, I swear to high heaven, you had better decloak me now or my mind is going to start making things up," Edward snarled. Bella must have heeded his request, as I saw my father's eyes begin to dash around the cafeteria, trying to match up mind voices with room voices.

"Maybe I should just go to my next class?" I suggested.

Edward and Bella did not answer. Alice looked at me approvingly. I swooped up my bag and headed off. The next class was one I was dreading the most: History of the Ancient World. I detested History, even at Forks. It seemed a pointless drilling of names, dates, and places. There was no meat to it; it was only busy work. Realizing I was a good fifteen minutes too early for the class, I strolled casually through the hall and up the staircase. Perhaps the teacher would not even be in the class room yet. I was surprised when I rounded the far corridor of the Social Sciences wing to find the door opened, and hear the shuffling of papers on the desk. Ah, the teacher was in. I hoped she wouldn't mind if I sat in the classroom and read while we waited for the other students to finish their lunches.

I lightly tapped at the door. It seemed the polite thing to do. I didn't want to casually stroll into her presence and shock her. The scent of a rush of adrenaline in a lonely, isolated classroom was probably not a good exposure for me to have.

"Come in," came the voice of woman who was clearly not focused on the door. Her back was to me as I stepped through the door way. She was busily jotting some notes down on a transparency slide.

"Dr. Arrashk?" I asked meekly. "I'm in your next period, and I didn't feel much like eating lunch. I wondered if you mind if … I…just… sat…and…um…."

My voice trailed off as she turned towards me, curiosity ablaze in her creamy emerald, feline-like eyes.


	9. Meeting the Neighbors

_It's very rude to stare,_ I told myself. But I couldn't break my gaze from her eyes- they were too entrancing. Were they contact lenses? I saw no rims that would have suggested that, but how did eyes get to be this color?

I squeezed my own eyes shut to break my tensions and tried to collect my thoughts. I was determined to be coherent. Some oddly colored eyes should not present such a distraction.

"It's okay," she said.

How had I not noticed her thick accent last night? I was hardly a scholar of language, so I couldn't quite place it. Forced to guess, i would have said the British Isles.

"You can stare at my eyes as long as you like. I understand. They're very unusual. There's only ever been one other I've seen with eyes like mine. All the new students seem to be obsessed with them."

"I didn't mean to be rude," I returned abashed, yet comforted. My unease melted as I gazed further. "They are quite lovely. Are they... I mean, do you have any trouble…."

"… am I 'vision impaired'?" she added, using finger quotes to highlight the term with a revealing grin, revealing a shared distaste of political correctness. "No, better than 20/20 actually. They don't glow in the dark either. That's usually the next question."

I smiled. She seemed an instant friend. Her manner was so immediately intimate, like we had been chums for years. She struck out her right hand. Formalities of decorum at this school seemed strict.

"Moira Arrashk," she declared. "And I'm guessing you're one of our new transfers? The Cullen/Hale contingent?"

"Renesmee. Are we so infamous?" I asked, smiling and shaking her warm hand. Almost as warm as mine. I wondered for a moment at it. I recalled the lamp of the projector was on. It had probably heated her palms as she wrote, I concluded. "It seems everyone already knows who we are. Are there no other transfers this year?"

"There's also a new junior this year, but you don't look like someone who would be named Raj Purithurinam. To tell the truth, I was surprised that you all managed to transfer into Bridgeport," she answered. She motioned to some of the nearby student desks inviting me to sit down. I nodded and sat in the front row of student desks as she returned behind her lecture table and perched on her tall, leather-clad stool. "Our acceptance rate is only 15% with hundreds of applicants each year. Transferees are very rare. For seven transferees to arrive the same year in the same grade is something for which we have no precedent. But, your files were very impressive."

My glance and titled head must have revealed suspicion of something. Her emerald eyes laughed as a smile fell across her face.

"I'm on the admissions committee," she informed me, pulling a sip off a cup on her desk. "Your files came past our regular admissions in early June, but your test scores were all so high and your sample works so impressive, I convinced the committee to make an exception."

 _I bet there was a pretty big check, too,_ I thought. I was curious what test scores she could be talking about. Except for a state-required math competency exam, I hadn't taken anything at Forks. I highly doubted my Forks file even existed anymore. It would have been on Edward's burn list of evidence of our existence not to leave behind. I smelled a Jenks intervention.

"It's seemed to have worked out well," I agreed, and then giggled. "That is, my first four hours were really great. Thanks."

"Yes, well. I'm glad to hear it." She shifted her weight and stretched her right arm to the projector to grab the slide. She covered it with a blank piece of paper and held a different one out in front of her eyes, checking it over. I flashed back to her musing last night as Edward and I observed her through the door. She had been concerned of being prepared. As she quickly cycled every five seconds through another slide, I wondered that she could have been solving that now. She barely looked at each long enough but to recognize what it said.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were cramming for teaching your class, Dr. Arrashk" I teased. _It looks like you didn't get everything done last night just as you feared._

"All the students call me Moira," she said without looking at me. Again, I felt a wave of familiarity run through me. It was unusual how at ease I was with her, like she was a long time friend of the family and we were catching up. "Guilty as charged. We just flew in yesterday, and I'm afraid that despite my best intentions, I didn't spend any time prepping my notes the whole summer. One gets easily distracted in Italy."

"You and your husband?" I asked, though she wore no wedding band. She shot a quick, painful glance at me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. That was rude of me."

"It's nothing," she sighed. "I am a widow, of sorts. No, don't look that way, Renesmee. We were together only briefly and it all seems so long ago. Actually, it's Mathias and I that just got back."

"Mathias Dragonovitch?" I asked. How likely were there to be two Mathiases at such a small school? How odd that the only two humans I had crossed more than a "how do you do?" with had a connection of their own. I realized with a bit of resistance that I was jealous of the familiarity with which she mentioned Mathias. I had a tinge of want to be able to mention his name in casual conversation, too. All these emotions over a human boy who I'd only had a brief exchange with!

Moira looked up with a blazing smile. "Oh, you've met.

"Only briefly in the cafeteria." I shifted uncomfortably as the memory of his azure eyes flashed through my head. I felt my pulse increase for the tiniest moment. "He was kind enough to pick up the lunch tab for me. He seems very kind. Is he your son?"

Mathias was perhaps 16 or 17. Moira didn't seem to be more than 28. Maybe he was adopted? They couldn't be blood relations, I concluded. They smelled nothing alike. He was cherry blossoms. And Moira, she was… I couldn't quite place it. Sandalwood? Lotus blossoms? Rose water? And a hint of something else, something familiar, yet the identity of that faint scent eluded me.

"Oh, goodness, no. I guess you would call him my ward," she informed him. Her look at me shifted to complete concern, like she had just seen me wince in pain or smack myself with a book. "Ren, is something a matter?"

Ah, she had chosen the same shortened version of my name as her _ward._ I tried it on for size in my head. "Nessie" had never really displeased me, but it was as common to my ears as "Renessmee". I liked "Ren", though. It seemed much tougher, somehow. Nessie was a quiet, go-along-to-get-along type. Ren was a girl in charge.

A woman in charge.

I realized swiftly her concern: I was gawking at her, eyes wide, mouth agape. That was what had given her pause. Those darn eyes were so hard to break from.

Outside of Charlie and some of the Quileute, I did not have experiences with humans. I had certainly never tried to befriend one from scratch. No one at Forks had seemed worth the effort. There was so much joy in this simple, mindless banter. I regretted that I had not tried it before. No wonder Bella had encouraged me to try making friends. I should like to make more.

I collected myself respectively and picked up my copy of Dickens. I should allow Moira time to get ready for the class. It was wrong of me to distract her with just a few minutes before the other students would arrive.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, burying my nose down into the first chapter of the book. "I didn't mean to keep you tied up. I just was trying to find a quiet place to read for a few minutes before class started."

"Do you know why the county suddenly decided to pave our road?" she shot off.

I looked up, shocked at the abrupt change in subject.

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, I've been trying to get them to pave Frenchman's Fork for years," she smiled. "I just wondered if your family's moving into the old Cathwright mansion next to us had anything to do with it? Not that I'm complaining mind you, but I was quite surprised."

"My family has a lot of cars, so they must have figured out the traffic would be increasing exponentially?" I pondered. Why hadn't she let on before that she knew we were neighbors. "How did you know we lived next door?"

"The Lock is too small to keep many secrets," she told me through her comforting smile. She correctly interpreted the flash of misunderstanding she saw in my eyes. "Oh, that's what locals call Lac de Brouillard. 'The Lock' Rolls off the tongue much easier. I was really surprised to learn someone had bought the place. It's been sitting on the market untouched for nearly three years. The price tag was a little too high for most locals. I mean, 5400 square feet, and then 25 acres of forest. Most people don't need so much space unless they're up to something."

"Or just really like their privacy and don't want people bothering them."

There had been nothing accusatory in her tone, but I had been well programmed not to let even the simplest hint of anything suggestive pass undeterred. Her smile sank a little, and I immediately felt ashamed.

"That's why we live up there, too," she whispered, looking away from me straight faced. How the absence of that serene smile changed her. Her eyes had lost some brightness. I had hurt her feelings. It was clear to me that was the end of the conversation.

It was just in time; I could hear students beginning to file up stairs from the cafeteria. I could make out the muted voices of Emmett and Jasper, who would be two-teaming me in this class. Of course they would be interested in a history class of the ancient world. It would be full of war and death and fighting. I was a little upset. I wanted one period of the day without vampire protectors glancing over my shoulder. I wanted a corner of privacy, and the chance to talk with Moira without the possible accusations of getting too close to a human.

They entered the classroom ahead of the rest of the students, determined I knew to grab our preferential seats at the back of the class where as few eyes as possible would focus on us. When they found me seated firmly in the dead center of the front row, they flanked me immediately and suspiciously. Moira had turned to the whiteboard and was busy amending her notes.

"Why are you sitting way up here?" Jasper whispered in tones so soft, low, and rushed none but Emmett and myself would hear them. "And what's with the feeling of shame and guilt? Did something happen?"

"I just hurt the teacher's feelings," I returned, equally muted. And to make sure I didn't look remorseless, "Accidentally."

"Is that all?" Emmett laughed. "I thought someone had hurt your feelings, you looked so crestfallen."

"Wow, Emmett, that's a really big word for you," I teased. He guffawed silently. "Are Edward and Bella calmed down yet?"

The other students threw glances our way as they filed in. I guessed that they could see our lips moving, but it would have looked like were mouthing nothings to them. They wouldn't have heard it. Moira had turned from the whiteboard, and was arranging the first slide on the projector, a very plain title slide that read _History 217: History of the Ancient World: Nineveh to the fall of Rome, Dr. Moira Arrashk-Moretti._

"Bella gave Edward 10 minutes of free time, just long enough for him to convince himself that Mathias was innocent and harmless," Jasper answered. "Luckily, he doesn't seem that into you. Then she shut him off again. Alice stills see him in detention, though. He's kind of ticked off that Bella's blocking him. He's arguing with her. We'll see if she caves in."

I sighed. Edward knew how to distract and manipulate Bella when he really wanted to. He would have access back to everyone's mind by the end of the day.

"School ends in two hours," Emmett interrupted. "If he's going to graffiti some lockers he better get on with it."

Moira suddenly looked up from her desk at the classroom of blue-green plaid starring back at her, though her gaze seemed focused towards the back. I heard Emmett and Jasper gasp: the eyes. We had told them last night of our discovery whilst hunting, but nothing compared with seeing the real thing.

"Whoa," Emmett wheezed, this time a volume everyone could hear. A few nervous chuckles rose above the silence.

"Welcome to History of the Ancient World," Moira began, this time addressing the whole classroom and not just me. I could recognize the difference at once; her voice now was measured and formal, lacking all intimacy she had so immediately used with me. "For many of you, this is not the first time we've met, but for the new students," she glanced at the front row intently, "I am Dr. Moira Arrashk-Moretti, and I will try to make this class simultaneously challenging and engaging for you. FYI, I also teach two classes in the language department, Classical Greek and Latin. These are great items to have on transcripts for anyone who may be playing with the idea of pursuing law or medicine."

She began handing out thick stacks of syllabi. As she passed by our seats, I took in her scent again, determined to identify that fourth ingredient that seemed so familiar. Jasper looked at me concerned. His body tensed a little, but after a moment when he realized my attempt was just a matter of curiosity and not of an interest in drinking, he relaxed.

I found myself actually paying attention to her lecture as she continued. I couldn't figure out if it was because her style was pleasing, or if my instant bound with her just made me sympathetic to listening to whatever she said. Emmett and Jasper jotted down enough notes to make it look like they were actively learning. As the bell rang ending class, Moira glanced quickly to me on the way out the door.

"Ms. Cullen." She addressed me so rigidly. "I'm actually not here most days before class. I would suggest from now on, if you want to sneak in some reading at lunch, the library is a better bet."

"Of course, Moira," I returned quietly. Jasper and Emmett lingered behind me. "I appreciate you allowing me in today. I hope I did not cause too much interference."

In the hall, Rosalie passed us on her way to U.S. History across the hall.

"Edward got detention yet?" Emmett asked her. Edward and Rosalie shared fifth period Chemistry.

"No, so you keep an eye on him," she commanded Emmett. He was on his way to share sixth period sociology with him. They would be right across the hall from my last class of the day: philosophy. "I don't care what Alice says, I don't want him to screw this up for Nessie. Keep him in line."

"Yes, ma'am."

Emmett shot off a military salute. I saw something devious cross Rosalie's face. Something told me they would be doing some creative roll playing while I slept tonight. Emmett walked next to me as we descended the stairs again, but turned up into the lower case of the Social Science wing. I saw Edward's eyes meet mine as he ducked with Emmett into their classroom. Ah, Bella had unblocked him. No doubt our ride home would be a stern lecture on how not to get too involved with humans in personal conversations, especially humans whose _ward_ I was attracted to and who had so kindly paid for my lunch.

 _It was just a kind gesture,_ I reminded myself, hoping Edward would hear that too. _It means nothing more than his mother raised him to be a gentleman. I'm sure he would have picked up my books if I dropped them, too. It doesn't mean he's going to try anything._

I kind of wished for a split second that he would try something. I quickly buried that thought deep down. Thank goodness, at least it seemed I didn't have any classes with…

"Hey, Mathias."

 _Damn._ I clenched my teeth. I shot the welcome-wisher an angry glance. He barely noticed my existence as Mathias shook hands with him and sat down at the empty two-person table behind his friend.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, throwing her bag to the floor and settling in next to me.

The boys I was starring at seemed to be catching up on summer events. Old friends from last year, I guessed. I could have listened in if I wanted, but I was intentionally focusing my ears on the ruffling of papers all around. No need to give Edward any extra worries.

"It's nothing," I lied. Alice accepted without question. She knew me well enough to know I wasn't telling the truth, but had gotten accustomed to my being hesitant to open up too much since we returned from Brazil. She accused me of sulking, _like father like daughter._

I took out my reader and a notebook and decided to stay focused on the instructor. One more hour, and I would be getting an earful anyways. No way perfect Edward was going to pull off a punishable offense sitting in sociology; he would want to ensure an immediate intervention in the car. He would be certain of it.

"Renesmee, I think."

I heard Mathias' voice drift across the classroom. My heart picked up its pace. I was burning with curiosity. Why had he said my name? What had I missed? Had he been talking about me with his friend? I flashed back to Emmett telling me just an hour ago, 'it doesn't seem like he's that into you.'. Then why mention anything about me? I looked over to his table. The chair next to him was still empty. He was not looking at me, but his friend passed a quick glance my way and smiled dimly. Should I quickly cross the room before the bell rang and thank him again for buying my lunch? Would I ask to sit by him?

"Alice," I whispered. "See that boy over there?"

She followed my gesture and smiled unabashedly. "The Dragon." She nodded and shot me an accusatory glance.

"What do you see him doing for the next few hours?" I asked.

Alice closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Her right eye squinted open for a moment as she grimaced. Another deep breath.

"That's funny, I can't see him," she admitted a little frustrated. "I wonder what that means."

"It means I've made up my mind to sit next to him after all," I answered, scooping up my belongings and crossing the class just as the bell rang. Alice tried to pull me back but I was already too far out of grasp for her to seize me in a way that would not bring attention.

"I hope you don't mind if I take this seat."

He looked at me through his blue eyes and smiled. _Swoon._

"Ren, of course not, we were just talking about you," Mathias answered. He pulled out the chair next to him and motioned for me to sit. "Renesmee, this is Carl Winford, a good friend of mine."

I turned to Carl and smiled. I was getting to know the customs: I preemptively offered out my hand. Carl gave me a quick shake, a kindly look and turned around as the instructor called for attention to the front of the class.

I felt frustrated that we couldn't continue. Mathias kept his gaze frontward, taking down the occasional note on his legal pad. A thought crossed my mind, and I decided to take the chance. I silently ripped a page from my notebook and jotted down something at a human pace. I placed the paper next to me. Mathias looked at it from the corner of his eye.

 _Thanks again for lunch. I feel so embarrassed about forgetting my wallet. Please let me pay you back._

He stealthily wrote something back and waited for the instructor's attention to be elsewhere before sliding it back to me.

 **You're welcome. Don't worry about it. I usually offer to buy girls dinner first, but I take whatever opportunity presents itself. I'll make it up to you as soon as I'm not so jet lagged.**

I felt a tense blush cross my face. Edward certainly didn't like that. But, if I was already in hot water, why not boil a little more.

 _Moira told me you just got back from Italy. Why were you there, if you don't mind my asking?_

 **Moira is an archaeologist. We spend our summers doing digs in Italy and Egypt. But are you saying yes or no?**

I paused for a minute. Had I missed something?

 _Yes or no to what?_

 **I must be losing my touch. I just asked you out.**

"Oh!" I gasped under my breath. Not that into you my fanny. Alice flashed me a suspicious glance. I wondered if she was reading the notes from her angle across the classroom.

 _Sorry._ I truly was. _I'm sort of in a long distance relationship._

 **OK, how about just a neighborly ice cream cone? No strings. I'll show you around the Lock.**

 _That sounds rather nice. Let me know when you're note jet lagged anymore._

He flashed me another smile and quickly gave me a confirmation nod. We passed the rest of the class in silence, the proverbial calm before the storm.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow, Ren."

He was a gentleman, I concluded. A boy would have bragged about asking out the new girl to his friend as soon as he thought he was out of earshot. As I followed Mathias' and Carl's conversation into the hall, he didn't mention a word about our exchange. He kept it confidential. It was some shock, then, when I heard a most familiar growl and the sound of a locker being slammed by a steel-hard fists.


	10. Quid Pro Quo

Alice and I pushed as quickly and gently as possible through the throng gathered around the uproar.

On one side of the hall, Emmett attempted to hold Edward back, using all his force. Edward wasn't in a striking position, but his eyes suggested intent. On the other side of the hall, the locker just left of Mathias's head had its overly painted, red door hanging off, nearly bent in two, the clear indentation of a hand captured in a metal mold. The observers didn't know what to think. Cheer the fight, or turn and flee?

But what shocked me was not that my father had lashed out at the boy I found myself mysteriously attractive to. What took me off guard was how unfazed Mathias seemed. He should be cowering, but he glared back at my father with the courage of a bull. For a moment I considered how brave he was. The next instant, I was disgusted at his moxie: humans didn't take on vampires and survive. Foolish, stupid, breakable, ignorant human boy. My father, however, should know better

" _How are you planning for us to explain away this_?" I mentally yelled at him, moving my eyes to the broken locker. " _Is this what you call dealing with it?"_

Edward's amber eyes focused only on Mathias, undeterred by my mental screaming. Alice sprang forward from my side to assist Emmett. She pushed her forehead gently into Edward's chin and stroked the sides of his face gently.

"Think of Bella," she murmured. "Think of Carlisle. Think of us all. Don't mess this up for us. He's just a boy."

I couldn't be sure she was getting through to him. His countenance remained just as seething and plotting. I looked between Mathias and Edward. How could this human just stand there like his life was not in imminent peril? All it would take was a little easing of Emmett's restraint for Edward to break free. He could kill Mathias and half of the students nearby before any of them realized well enough to run. No, there must be another barrier for him to get through; a barrier that he would not cross, no matter if it meant death itself.

I threw myself in front of Mathias's body, close as I could get without touching him, facing Edward with my eyes locked squarely to his. My hands shot out in either direction, creating a shield.

"Sticking up for my honor, milady?" Mathias whispered from behind me. The cool heat of his breathe on my ear made goose bumps travel down my arms. I blocked out the sensation before Edward could sense it. Emmett looked at me with complete approval. This was the right thing to do, even if being defended by a girl, I knew, would hurt the human male ego.

"If you were wise, you wouldn't say or _think_ a thing," I warned him over my shoulder in as gentle a whisper as I could imagine human ears would be able to detect.

Edward's muscles eased, and Alice began to back away. Emmett echoed the movement. Mathias leaned away from the lockers and began to push me gently out of the way. I allowed him to think he was moving me. What was he doing though, approaching Edward across the hallway as though nothing had happened?

Both the philosophy teacher, Mr. Chui, and the sociology teacher, Ms. Kitchner, stood in the hall on the periphery of the face off.

"What is going on here?" Mr. Chui demanded, casting accusatory glances between the five of us. "Mr. Cullen, this is no way to make a good impression on your first day. We have a zero tolerance policy."

"My fault, Mr. Chui," Mathias volunteered. Even Edward was surprised by this declaration. Most teenage boys would be on the defensive. Mathias's decisions seemed all wrong, the opposite of what most humans would do.

Ms. Kitchner's voice was incredulous. "Matt?"

Mathias strode the remaining distance of the hall to face Edward and stuck out his hand. "My apologies. What I said was rude and presumptive. You had every right to act the way you did, and I hope we can put this incident behind us immediately."

What the hell? I had listened to Mathias's chatter with Carl. He wouldn't have had opportunity to say anything to Edward. Moreover, he _hadn't_ said anything. Whatever set off Edward had to be in his head. How could Mathias have known my father could hear that?

Edward sighed and took the hand offered to him. I could see how firm his hand shake was… a little too firm and I wondered a moment that Mathias didn't cry out.

"Apology accepted," Edward hissed through a clenched expression. He made sure to bare his teeth widely as he spoke. He was instinctively giving warning to Mathias that he was still not completely off the hook. For the first time, I saw Mathias shutter for the briefest of moments.

"Yes, well. Still…." Mr. Chui interrupted. "All the rest of you, clear out. This is over."

Ms. Kitchner acted as crowd control, gently nudging along the audience. As the students began to disperse, Mr. Chui 's face resolved into decision.

"As satisfied as I am that you two are _now_ acting maturely, I can't let this go unpunished. Fighting is grounds for suspension. We should speak to the headmaster."

"Mr. Chui, send him to detention. That will be enough. After all, this is Mr. Cullen's first day and you wouldn't want to mar his record so quickly."

Mathias's moxie; that's a term I would clearly being using a lot. Did he really think a teacher would defer to his demands? I knew members of cliques and popular kids could be powerful social forces in high schools, but from my observation, Mathias was neither of those. Or did that fact that his guardian, Moira, was also a teacher give him airs?

To my surprise, Mr. Chui relented. "I guess you're right, Mathias, if Mr. Cullen concurs?"

Edward nodded. It was an easy resolution to a potential mine field of concern. Only… At least twenty students had just witnessed my father crush a steel-framed locker with a weak slap of his palm. A whole week in detention would not cover that fact.

"What's going on here?"

Through the stream of retreating students, Moira strolled, casting a suspicious gaze between my family and her _ward._ The smells of sandalwood and rose water permeated the air. Again, I found myself distracted at that small aspect of her smell so familiar, but not quite nameable.

"Everything's fine, mother," Mathias stated. "Just a misunderstanding between Ed and me."

It happened too quickly for the humans to comprehend. Even Mathias seemed oblivious. But I saw. The flash of complete terror. I knew Alice, Emmett and Edward had taken note of it, too. We were all looking at Moira, of course. If Moira was about, you had to look at her. She composed herself so quickly; I didn't have time to dwell. Her eyes shifted from Mathias to the crumpled locker face. Apparently, Mr. Chui had begun to wonder over it as well.

"How in the heck did…" he was muttering, pulling his hand over the metal to see if there was an inherent flaw that would have allowed for such damage by a simple slap. I saw Alice's and Emmett's anxious expressions, and Edward's realization that he may have gone too far. Moira jumped in front of Mr. Chui, blocking him from further investigation, pulling Mathias along with her.

"How many times have I said it, Mathias?" she chirped. Mr. Chui jolted back from the enthusiasm in her voice. "This is why the ancients used stone and wood. Why we still build things from wood these days whenever possible. Metal plates are just not structurally sound. If you stumble on that weak point where it can't support itself, it just buckles."

"Don't do this," Mathias whispered in Moira's ear.

I knew Mr. Chui's ears a few feet away were too weak to make out his words. We had no such issues. Apparently, neither did Moira.

"I must," she mouthed quickly. "Just get him out of here quickly afterwards."

"Alice?" Emmett murmured. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," she replied, as dumbfounded as I was.

Mr. Chui, ambivalent to the conversations going on around him, still stared at the locker in disbelief. Moira turned and charmed him with her smile.

"Observe."

She turned to the locker bay and ran her hand over the adjacent face plate. Her heartbeat, usually constant and steady, suddenly became erratic, racing out of control. It was too fast to be an adrenaline rush. Was she having an anxiety attack? If her heart didn't slow, it would explode.

Then, silence.

At the same moment that her heart stopped, her hand drew back only a few inches, and plowed flat fisted in the metal face. The metal sheet crumbled effortlessly and fell off its hinges to the ground, throwing echoes up and down the corridor of the hall. Chasing the echoes with my eyes, I saw the rest of our family turning up the far side of the corridor. Rosalie, Bella and Jasper recognized immediately from the expressions of their mates that something had happened.

Something was happening.

"You see, Mr. Chui, just like she said, structurally unsound," Mathias said, putting his arms around the teacher's shoulders and dragging away. "Maybe we _should_ alert the headmaster. A little horsing around in the hall way and disaster could be afoot."

"I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes," Mr. Chui laughed, shaking his head. "Yes, we should talk with him. This shouldn't be left unchecked. Mr. Cullen, detention is in room 221. "

Mathias continued to coax away the overwhelmed man, who was nearly giddy with the demonstration he had just seen. As they turned the corner, the others reached us. We found ourselves alone: the Cullens, the Hales, and Moira.

"Moira?" I stepped forward timidly. Her pulse had been stopped for nearly 15 seconds. How long could a human continue without a heartbeat?

"Renesmee, careful."

Jasper pulled me back. Emmett followed suit and pulled Rosalie and Bella behind him. Edward leapt out in front Emmett.

"What are you!" Edward demanded.

"Shhhh." Moira winced, flattening her palms against the bay of intact lockers. I could hear little shallow gasps emanating from her mouth, accented by hints of high-pitched flecking. It sounded like she was suppressing the urge to cry out in terror.

"Edward, she's in immense pain," Jasper cried. "What is she thinking? Is she going to attack?"

"She's only thinking 'retreat' over and over. "

I couldn't believe they were all just standing around as a woman before us was about to die. "We have to call for an ambulance. She's having some kind of stroke."

We all took a step back in shock when we heard it: A soft thump, followed a few seconds later by another glub-glub. A brief pause, and a quickly racing hum of another human heart in our midst besides mine was clear. Moira's focused breaths were the only movement she made for several seconds. With every inhalation, her pulse grew more steady.

When finally she did turn around, we all saw the same shocking thing. For the smallest sliver of a moment, her eye color had shifted. Gone were the creamy emeralds, replaced by copper onyx. Her complexion, as if dusted in snow before, was deepening again to her lovely natural shade of light olive. A few more breathes, and she seemed restored to her former self.

"Not possible," Edward gasped. "How did you… What did you…"

"Mr. Cullen." Her strength had clearly been zapped, based on the soft, cracking quality of her voice. "The less we know of each other's secrets, the safer we all are. If you can promise to keep your temper in check, particularly around Mathias, I will keep yours from becoming public knowledge. Please, allow me my privacy in this. We both understand how easily things could slip out to unwelcomed ears."

Edward simply nodded.

"Now, let's not squander what this little charade had gained us," she continued. "I think you have a detention to serve. You'd better run along before you're missed. The rest of you, good day."

As Moira turned up the hall to leave, she passed just inches from me, smiling conspiratorially. Her scent filled my senses again, only the mystery aspect was blazingly clear this time. I had failed to recognize it not because it was so unattainable. Rather, it was because it was a scent that was so common to me I hadn't even recognized it as something that could be unique.

 _Venom._


	11. When Sigmeund Comes Calling

"I don't know," Carlisle answered. "It shouldn't be possible. That can't be the way it happened. Show me again."

I sighed. Six times over I had shown him the events at the end of our first day of school. What was he expecting to gain with a seventh viewing?

I obligingly took Carlisle's frigid hand in my own and relaxed my consciousness over him. Milky images passed through our heads in unison: the smashed locker, Moira's arrival, and her seeming conversion from mortal to immortal and back again in the space of a few minutes.

We were all gathered in the foye, spread out over sever sofas and chairs. Carlisle had come home from his shift early after receiving a call from Bridgeport that his "son" would need to be picked up from detention. Edward had related the whole twist of events to him on the drive home. The rest of us had left immediately from school in a cloud of silence. There was no point in discussing anything until we were all together.

"The effects of the venom once it reaches the heart are irreversible," Carlisle concurred. "I'm not questioning that something happened, but it can't be venom that's doing it."

"It was," Jasper argued, shifting from Alice's side to mine. "Nessie was closest to her. I could sense her picking up the scent. It was just not strong enough to trigger her defensive instincts, but it was clear enough that she recognized it."

"Frankly, while I am concerned about what allowed her to make the shift, I am more concerned with your difficulties, Edward. What do you mean you can hear her mind, but you can't understand it?"

Carlisle always took every obstacle with a clinical approach. He was always trying to diagnose a situation, and tried never to look over the symptoms without thorough analysis.

Edward broke from his contemplations and looked at all of us from the corner chair where he sat.

"When I see your minds, it's a complex overlay of words and images, usually several streams of consciousness at once. It's like being in a room with three or four TV's running at the same time. Of course, I can follow it easily. But her mind works differently. It's like having those same TV's running, but the pictures are all fuzzy or missing all together. Most of her thoughts are amazingly imageless. And then- she thinks in languages I mostly don't understand. Crystal clear, but unintelligible."

"Do you think that's all it is, is that you just don't speak the language she thinks in?"Bella asked, placing her hands on Edward's shoulder from behind and rubbing. "Maybe you can't decipher the image property without the word. And here I thought you knew everything."

"I'm not the lexicon of every tongue spoken by man, my love," he smiled at her, kissing her finger tips. "I'm not completely in the dark. It sounds Semitic, but…primitive. And she mixes in modern words from a dozen other languages: Russian, Persian, Hindi, Chinese… She has a track of English, but that seems to be only whatever she's thinking of actually saying aloud, so not much advantage there."

"And what about the boy?" Esme asked. "Is he a threat? Will he say anything to anyone?"

"He understands that their secrets could be exposed if ours are. You could say they have vested interests in keeping us covered," Edward said through gritted teeth. He paused for a moment in contemplation, looking unfocused and rubbing his chin. "Mathias is surely human. But he knew what we were from the moment he saw Rosalie in his first period. He doesn't fear us, even with that knowledge. What he doesn't understand is what Nessie is. That might have eased my concerns, except that the mystery of her being part of our coven even though she seems human is something he is finding very engrossing. He _identifies_ with her."

"So, that's why you went after him!" Emmett exclaimed with a hint of I-told-you-so in his voice. "Bella, you're going to have to keep him boxed up all the time. Since we already know that Moira and Mathias won't blab, we don't really need mental input."

"No, that's not why I went after him," Edward countered. His eyes looked accusingly at me. "You shouldn't have encouraged him."

"And how, pray tell, did I do that, father dear?" I demanded. Bella recoiled at the harshness of my words. It surprised me, too.

"High school romance tactics 101, Nessie," Edward returned. I felt the sweeping blush of guilt pass through my cheeks. "You have to be more cautious. Our beauty is a lure; it's hard for humans to resist the seduction. That's why we have to make extra certain that our interactions with humans are always kept shallow and superfluous. It only takes the smallest innocent action from you for them to misinterpret your intent. And you, sweeping across the classroom to sit next to him, smiling at him like a lovesick puppy, writing that note to him. He didn't have a chance. He's thoroughly smitten with you."

"I guess I shouldn't have encouraged her," Bella mumbled. "I'm sorry, Edward, I should have spoken to you first, but I told Nessie it may be a good idea to try making friends."

"Your heart was in the right place, love," he returned, his words suddenly comforting and saccharine. She sat next to him on the sofa. He picked up her hands and kissed the backs. "This is your first time in high school since coming over. I really should have been more forthcoming with these little details. The rest of us have done this so many times that we forgot how many things you and Nessie don't know."

I grimaced that he could be so compassionate for her, and so ruthless with me. After all, hadn't he gone way beyond what was advisable his last run through? If he hadn't, I wouldn't be sitting here right now.

"Edward, even if that's true, it hardly seems justification for the drastic actions you took," Carlisle contributed, and his own statement seemed to offer him a conclusion. "That's not it, is it? What had he thought that you found so offensive?"

"Carlisle, everyone, I apologize. There's no excuse for my display today," Edward offered, bowing his head in shame. But just as I felt a release from guilt, his eyes flashed back at me. "Do you still believe what you told me yesterday, about your feelings for Jacob?"

I was taken off guard. After spending my whole afternoon in a cloud of Mathias-induced splendor, the mere mention of Jacob's name was enough for me to grasp how foolishly I had acted. How crushed would Jacob had been if he seen the blatant flirting I had engaged in?

"Yes, I love him," I whispered under my breath.

"And you want to be with him?" Edward continued.

"More than anything," I gasped.

"Oh, Nessie," Esme smiled and embraced me.

Of course she would be delighted to hear this. I was now the odd one out in the family. While a child, this was only natural. But in the last year, as I became aware of how blissfully happy the perfectly matched couples in my family were, and developed a capacity to understand romance, it was the logical development that they had all been waiting for. They knew, Bella had shared with me recently, that Jacob and I would be coupled at some point. They just didn't know when.

"Then I shouldn't be fighting harder for the two of you than you are," Edward lectured. The sense of guilt and remorse filled me, and I turned away from his gaze feeling unworthy. "Mathias has decided to pursue you. Since you mentioned to him your _long distance relationship_ , he's formulating a plan to unhitch your emotions over time. He's doggedly determined. He knows that as more time passes, your feelings will falter, and you'll long to be requited. He's content to sit and wait for the right moment to pounce. Again, for such a young human, he seems oddly aware of the workings of the human heart. And with your emotional upheavals of late, I'm not certain you can resist him. If you give into Mathias, it will crush Jacob. The last thing we need is an enraged werewolf on the prowl for the blood of a boy whose protector may be able to destroy us all. Not to mention, with your recent events, how dangerous it could be for Mathias to be too close to you at the wrong time."

" _You are right_ ," I admitted to him mentally, shuttering at the thought of what that danger meant: Mathias dead, my eyes swimming again in swirls of human blood. " _I will do what must be done to nip this in the bud._ Tell me what I do."

Edward nodded contentedly, satisfied that I was finally getting the picture.

"Keep a balance with him," he explained. "Firstly, tell him tomorrow in no uncertain terms that you can't be friends. Make sure he knows it's for his own good, and not because of something he has power to change. Then, you play opposites with him. If he is being rude to you, be gently kind to him. If he is being kind to you, remain distant and aloof. Keep his emotions out of balance. It should frustrate him until he feels you're not worth the effort."

"I think we all know how well that scheme worked on me," Bella laughed. "Honestly, Edward, do you really think a few emotional swings are going to throw off _Mathias Dragonovitch_?"

Rosalie smiled. She cupped her hands over her face to give her voice a muted echo, and called in an overly nasally imitation of hospital nurse:

"Paging Dr. Freud. Dr. Freud, patient to see you in the lobby."

"Excuse me?" Edward guffawed. Alice and Rosalie suppressed a chuckle. Edward turned back towards them, his eyes taking shock and disgust at the thought running through their heads. "Electra complex? Oh, you can't be serious. He's nothing like me."

"History repeats itself, huh, Rose?" Alice asked. "Wouldn't it figure that Nessie would get involved in a triangle with Jacob and Edward's doppelganger?"

"You two are insane," Edward scoffed.

"Face it, Edward, he's your human manifestation. Dashingly handsome, mature, caring, gentleman-like, well educated, well traveled. It's Freud in practice. Nessie finds him so attractive because he's just like you."

What they were saying was making sense. As much as I hated to admit it, lots of things about Mathias reminded me of my father.

Rather, even with limited interaction, so much of him reminded me of the stories of the courting of my mother and my father.

"So, if you want Nessie to try and dissuade Mathias, think back to when you first were falling in love with me," Bella chimed in, pulling Edward's face to hers. "What could I have done to deter you?"

He looked without distraction into Bella's gaze. His lips lowered and met hers, as he pulled her into his chest. She slipped her arms around his waist and pulled herself even closer. His lips found their way down to her earlobe.

"I tried to move worlds to keep myself away from you, but there was nothing to be done," he cooed. "The only thing that would have stopped me was death itself."

"Exactly," she sighed, allowing him access to her neck with his mouth. "And I think that's the case here. Something in Mathias sparked when he saw Nessie. Jasper told me so. Teenage love is all it is, though darling. Mathias' heart is human; it may change, where yours could not. Let Mathias burn in it. Let Nessie figure this out for herself."

"Smart, beautiful, wise Mrs. Cullen," Edward's voice was on edge of breaking.

If I hadn't paid witness to similar scenes so many times in the past, I may have been surprised at the unease of seeing my parents on edge of losing physical constraint. Another fact of my life that my peers could not share: their parents grew older, tired, less interested. Or, they split all together. My parents had eternal youth and limitless strength and energy. Sometimes I wondered that they managed to get dressed at all.

"Perhaps you'd like to take this discussion upstairs?" Bella suggested.

"Nessie, this isn't over," is Edward was able to get out before throwing his bride over his shoulder and dashing her away.

"Have they no shame?" I said, more to myself than anyone else.

Carlisle looked at me curiously.

"There is no shame in it," he said simply enough. I knew that, of course, but I wasn't expecting him to see this as a teachable moment. "And there's no shame in it for you either. Alice, Rosalie… Emmett, Jasper… perhaps you'll like to leave for that hunting you were planning for? I think Esme and I need to have a talk with Renesmee."

"Have fun with that, kid," Emmett chuckled, giving me an all-knowing glance. Obligingly, they exited, Rosalie only hesitating, wondering if I would prefer her to stay. I motioned that she should leave. This was going to be uncomfortable enough without an audience; without knowing that Edward and Bella were upstairs at this very moment engaging in the very thing I was about to be discussing.

"Carlisle," I began, trying to head him off before it became too odd. "The birds and bees talk is really unnecessary. I'm pretty well acquainted with all the mechanics, having Peter and Mrs. Cottontail for parents. You don't need to feel obligated as my second father to talk about this with me."

"I fell more obligated as your doctor," he answered. "As your _uniquely_ qualified doctor. Not to mention, your father asked me. He wants you to talk with me first, because of the physical implications. He thought, though, that we could wait until Jacob rejoined us. After seeing what happened today, I don't think we should wait to discuss some very basic concerns. I don't want you to get into a situation you feel unprepared for."

"The thought of sleeping with Mathias had not crossed my mind," I growled. _Jacob, on the other hand…_

"It's not just sex, Nessie," Esme said. "It's any touch. When Bella was human, Edward was constantly on edge, knowing the slightest wrong movement or loss of control would kill her. Even a simple stroke of the cheek could have given her a concussion if he wasn't careful. And knowing Bella, it's amazing she didn't get hurt anymore than she did."

Carlisle suppressed his laughter.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Let's just say Bella as a human lacked … grace. And a sense of balance."

My refined mother?

"She had a tendency to fall down or run into things," Carlisle smiled. "A lot."

We shared a laugh at Bella's expense. Knowing that she had been flawed once made me feel better for my tendency lately to wonder away from the group. My drifting mind didn't seem so unlike Bella's trips.

"The point is, Nessie, if you should find yourself wanting to _touch_ him, you must exercise all cautions, physically and mentally," Carlisle continued, that disconnected but sincere look of the doctor shining through. "If you move too forcefully, or if you let your instincts over power your emotions, you could kill him, either intentionally or otherwise…"

"Intentionally?" I pondered.

Yes, I could visualize it easily. If Mathias was smitten with me, how hard would it be to coax him into a lonely corner of the school under false pretenses? How much would he resist as I raised my lips to his, and tasted his breath? How little would he suspect as I tilted his chin, exposing his pulsating jugular to my thirsty lips? How satiated would I be as his blood gushed down my throat? The image was all too clear, too _desirable._

My breath caught in my throat. Carlisle and Esme looked at me with understanding.

"Don't worry," Esme said. "We know you won't kill him. Just try not to hurt him."

I nodded, and collected my bag from the front door to make my way upstairs to my room. I passed by Edward and Bella's shut door, and could make out giggling and bucking. I rushed as quickly as I could. How I missed my sound proof-protected room back in Forks.

Reaching the tower, I threw my bag back down on the floor and lay down on the bed. Looking up the hillside out my window, I could make out the green-tiled roof of the Arrashk house. I wondered what discussion Mathias was having with his mother- that's how he referred to her, after all. She had been obviously very scared of the idea of her ward facing off against my father. _He knew what we were._ That may be true, but he either didn't understand or didn't accept how close his life may had come to ending if Emmett had not been there to hold back Edward. If I had not been there to throw myself in front of him, breaking my father's concentration on his target long enough for him to reign in his rage. And all in my defense, after all.

In Jacob's defense, too.

 _That kind of stupid needs to be contained._

I would have to keep myself from him. I would need to throw up a brick wall, not allow his budding interest in me to grow beyond a first blush infatuation. Even if he thought he could _identify_ with me _,_ as Edward had said, I knew that he couldn't really. I was unique. Not the only hybrid, but the only hybrid raised in a loving family of vampires, each of which could break him into 30 pieces in 3 seconds if he ever crossed me the wrong way or told the wrong things to the wrong people.

I sat up and took out some writing paper. For the next hour, I filled pages and pages with the same phrase in my polished script: "I LOVE YOU, JACOB". After I ran out of paper in my draw, I counted them up: 15 sheets of front and back declaration, 15,000 I love you's. I sealed them in a thick envelope and addressed it: Clallam County Jail; Prisoner #5562, Jacob Black, Port Angeles, CA. I tossed it in my bag. I would send it out on the morning on the way to school.

 _He_ identifies _with her…_

Ridiculous. What did we have in common?

I bolted out of my room and down to Carlisle and Esme in the back yard before I had even made the decision. They both looked at me in utter surprise of my speed. I rarely ran at full capacity. Something must be wrong.

"Isn't it obvious?" I demanded without being asked. "He identifies with me because we were both raised by vampires. Because, whatever the details are, Moira IS a vampire. No, she's more like me, she's…."

I paused, because I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it more clearly. If I was drawn to Mathias because of the Electra complex as Rosalie suggested, he was drawn to me because of the Oedipus complex.

"She's half-vampire."


	12. The Boathouse

The Boathouse

A night of troubled sleep wasn't much help in calming down after a traumatic first day at Bridgeport. The nightmare had come upon me again, only the cast had changed a little. Instead of me being surrounded by the vampire hoard, it was Mathias. And instead of Mathias being nearly attacked by Bella and Edward before magically flying to safety, it had been Jacob attacking him. I didn't seem to be anywhere. The end result was the same, though; my dead body bruised and broken on the floor.

Despite Carlisle's assertion that while my theory was possible, it was not probably, I still believed I had solved the mystery of Moira. Moira was half-vampire. She had to be. What other possibility was there? She smelled of venom and had a heart beat. But even if I assumed this as fact, it still left so many other questions unanswered. How had she controlled the venom's effects on her, and so consciously? Why was she raising a human child? Why did this child who seemed to be aware of my family's secret not fear us?

And why was I so mesmerized by him?

Carlisle was right. If I could not maintain control of myself around Mathias, it was far too dangerous for him and me to have any sort of interaction. I must make it clear to him that this initial attraction was just a passing fancy. How hard would it be for him to believe? After all, we had only known each other one afternoon, and spoken only a few times. The attraction, I concluded, was completely physical. My human half had dragged my vampire half along for a ride on my first high school crush.

I sought him out at lunch the next day without waiting for him to find me. I need the advantage of control. At least Bella was blocking Edward again. Edward was frustrated, but agreed it had probably been a wise precaution.

I waited at the cafeteria doors for him to enter, and accosted him the moment he walked in.

"Ren, how are you?"

So casual, like nothing had happened… His eyes smiled at me presumptively, like he knew I'd be stationed at the gate like some obsessed groupie. Carl was with him, but immediately and wordlessly excused himself. He seemed _scared_ of me. I supposed my expression was a little tense. Perhaps his instincts had told him I was something to be avoided right now. No such luck with Mathias.

"We need to talk," I declared. "You know this school pretty well. Is there someplace we can talk privately?"

"The boathouse," he answered. "Would you like to go now, or do you want to grab lunch first?"

"Luckily for you, I'm not hungry," I answered, hoping he would understand the danger inherent in my statement. "Let's go now."

"Follow me, then."

He led me to the far end of the cafeteria where there was an emergency exit door in a small alcove, clearly labeled "DO NOT OPEN – ALARM WILL SOUND. " I fretted for a moment as he pressed on the handles. No alarm.

"It hasn't worked in years," he said as though he was reading my mind.

"Why don't they take down the sign, then?"

He shot that dangerous smile at me again. "You of all people should understand the importance of keeping up appearances."

The school building was only a few minutes' human walk from the lakeshore. Several times when Mathias wasn't looking, I turned quickly with lightening speed to see if we were being followed. Either my family had not seen me leave, or they giving me the opportunity to do handle this myself. The distance was great enough that there would be little chance of them hearing our conversation. Jasper would have felt my emotional state before we left the cafeteria; he would know and let the others know that my intent was to disengage. Yes, they would not interfere.

We reached the boathouse undetected. It was a rather simple structure: a glorified wood shed, just long and wide enough to house two racks of crew boats and a small work area. Mathias led me to the white-paneled door and tried the handle. It was locked. Again, he worked it a little harder, jiggling it a little, but it did not budge. He deeply exhaled and stared at the ground.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing?" he asked.

I looked at his askew. "Willing to what?"

He indicated the door handle with the sideways jerk of his chin.

"You can't be serious," I concluded. What if someone should pass close enough to see?

"Ren, there's no one out here, and we both know how simple it would be for you."

"Fine. Just for a reference of what I'm about to tell you, I want you to imagine this is your spine."

I grabbed the door handle and gently pounded the door with my shoulder. The handle didn't turn, but the rest of the door broke away from the frame and splintered inward.

"After you." I held out my arm like a concierge, smirking. He was unfazed, and simply stepped in the building over the pieces of shattered door lying on the floor as though he were stepping over some stones to cross a lawn. What did it take to knock some sense into this boy?

I entered behind him. He crossed the room to a workbench on the far side of the building and leaned against it, waiting for me to start. His gaze was too powerful: expectant and patient. He was hanging on every unsaid word, as much as anticipating those to come.

Where to start? There was so much I could say to him; so much I _should_ say to him. But, I still had to be cautious. Just because he knew what we were didn't mean he had the right to learn every secret of our family. Our private life was none of his business. Yet, he needed to understand that our family dynamics; if he didn't back off, he'd have a coven of vampires and maybe a pack of werewolves hunting him from Maine to Missouri. My lips parted several times in attempts to form words, each time withdrawing at the last moment; they just didn't make the implications strong enough. He continued to stare at me without mercy.

"You are the biggest idiot I have ever met in my entire life!" I declared.

"See, that wasn't so hard," he cooed. Argh, that damn comforting smile of his.

"Do you know what we are? Please, just saw it out loud once, get that blasted word into the open," I said. I turned my gaze, keeping my eyes just right of his face. Those blue orbs were going to melt my resolve.

"I know what _they_ are," he confirmed. " _Upirina_ \- vampires. But I don't know what you are."

His voice took on a different color as he shifted to a different tongue. A more natural tongue.

"Upirina?" I queried.

He shrugged. "Sometimes the English words are not the first to jump in my head. Sometimes my native tongue is easier for me to express serious topics."

"You're not American?" Sure, the name was foreign sounding, but so many were.

"No, I was born in Serbia, lived there until I was 9," he answered as though this was commonplace knowledge. Perhaps it was, I reminded myself. After all, I barely knew anything about him.

"Let's not get off on tangents…"

"Where were you born?" he interrupted, not giving me time to conclude my thought.

"Wa... The west coast," I deflected. "Listen, I get it, you think I'm pretty…."

"No, I don't." Argh, couldn't he just be quiet for TWO FRICKING SECONDS?! "I know you're beautiful. "

"But you don't know anything about me," I said undeterred. I would get my point across. "I am vampire, Mathias, no matter what you think. Yes, I am different from the others somewhat, but just as capable of killing you."

"What do I smell like to you?" he asked. "Is it cherry blossoms?"

"What?"

My expression must have given it away.

"I knew it," he gloated. "Cherry blossoms? Hard to feel like a man when you're told you smell like cherry blossoms."

"Are you hearing anything I'm saying?" I demanded, nearly yelling. Oh, but he was frustrating. "I'm trying to tell you to give up this little crush you think you have on me. It's just a physical reaction to the vampire glamour. You must keep your distance from me, or you'll be putting your life in danger. "

"Do you know the story of Mejnun and Layla?" he asked out of the blue.

My jaw snapped shut and my fists clenched in frustration.

"Ah, I didn't think so. Not many westerners do, but it was my favorite story when I went to school in Cairo. There are lots of variations, but basically Mejnun meets Layla one time, and falls in love with her on sight. He must have her: his desire is both irrational and irrepressible. One look, and he's a goner. But Layla, she resists, even though she feels just the same about him. She's already set to marry some other guy, the guy her family thinks is the best match for her, and she's convinced that if she backs out of it, the shame it will bring her family will be unforgivable. So, she denies Mejnun and marries the other guy. Mejnun goes insane from it all, and they both die of broken hearts in the end because they need each other so much, but deny themselves that love."

"You ARE insane," I concluded after a few minutes of silence. "Is this what you think? Love at first sight? Can you get anymore Louie Lamour?"

"I believe in fate," he countered, stepping away from the work bench and walking purposefully toward me. "I have had too much happen in my life that I should be dead a million times over, yet here I am. I have learned to put complete faith in destiny, and let it just pull me along. I'm not as crazy as I sound; I know it sounds ridiculous for me to say I love you 24 hours after we met. And I don't: yet. But, I know I will love you, and that you will love me. Fate pulled me to you form the moment I saw you. And since it's just a matter of time until the hardcore emotions fall into place, why deny ourselves that love now?"

I took a step back for every step he took forward, but I was stopped by one of the trailers of boats brushing up against my back. He didn't stop. He was so close. Way. Too. Close. I could feel his breath on my lips as he leaned his head forward. I turned my face to deny him. His lips found my ear instead.

"Kiss me, Ren," he whispered tenderly. "Can't you see? Some series of events led you here, led you to me- why deny fate?"

The sensation of his breath overpowered me, sending waves of obligation through my mind. I felt a compulsion to obey his request. But I couldn't. I felt my heart breaking on Jacob's behalf. How stupid of me to put myself in such a secluded environment. Local youth found dead in private school boathouse, details at eleven.

"I do not belong to YOU!" I shouted, pushing him as gently as I could. His body went flying backwards into the bench, buckling the wood as he landed. I should have felt guilty, but he did not look hurt, just stunned, as he recovered his balance and stood.

"You are right, Mathias, some series of events led me here," I rambled, perhaps too quickly for him to follow. I didn't slow to see. "Let me tell you what those events were. My grandfather was shot by a bank robber, and I hunted the bank robber through the rain forests of Washington until I found him and drank him dead. We are here because I killed a man. And I _liked_ killing him. Every night I go to sleep, his shocked eyes surface in my mind, and I feel the sensation of his blood flowing down my throat, and I know that if I could do it again, I would. And not because it was just punishment; a life for a life; but because that's what I am, not matter how civil I may seem to you. I am a killer."

"You can overcome that," he reassured me. "I will help you. Moira overcame it, and so can you."

My curiosity about the mentioning of Moira piqued, but I must not allow this conversation to endure. I mentally filed that statement for a later approach when cooler head prevailed.

"I can, but only by taking precautions, but not putting myself in the path of temptations," I agreed. "You, Mathias, are far too willing a temptation. If you want to end up like your Mejnun at the end of his story, just keep up this foolishness."

He was unrelenting. I could gauge by his countenance that nothing I said had dissuaded him from his belief. But, he understood well enough that now was not the time to pursue the matter further.

"I understand what you're going through," he said. Again, I had the sensation that he wasn't lying. Perhaps _he_ hadhelped Moira through similar emotional struggles. "You just need some time and space to sort things out. Submitting to fate takes practice- I can't expect you to follow along so quickly."

I looked at him perplexingly. He just smiled.

"All you have to do is say 'when'," he smiled. "My arms will be ready and waiting."

He winked at me, and the shivers ran up and down my spine again. He turned and exited without another glance, stepping again just as casually out the destroyed door as though it was commonplace.

And that was the last time Mathias Dragonovitch spoke to me for six weeks.


	13. Elephant

Fall arrived in one sweeping September morning to Lac de Brouillard, casting shadows over a hastily thrown birthday party, much to Alice's dismay. Seth flew out for the weekend affair, and even though the smell permeated the house, he smelled so much more like my dear Jacob that I felt for a short time like I could expect to walk around the corner of the garage and see his legs sticking out from the Emmett's Jeep or Esme's Jaguar.

"He never stops talking about you," Seth told me during his brief visit. "He's been asking me really weird questions, though. Like, do you think Nessie likes it better when my hair is long or short?"

Neither, shoulder length. I wrote him that in my next letter. The quandary reminded me of reading in old novels of women cutting their braided hair off to send along with their beloveds to war. I wanted to send my hair to Jacob, so that he would have a physical part of me to touch. Unfortunately, I broke every pair of shears in the house in the fruitless effort. Even my hair was too strong to be broken. Seth was a little relieved. He was sure human hair, even half-human hair, would be contraband in jail. As a consolation, I bought a tube of dangerously red (that was actually the name) lipstick from the pharmacy in the village, and spread kisses all over a sheet of fine parchment scented with perfume. Seth, though red faced, agreed to deliver the sealed envelope with the parchment to Jacob on his return.

Having ridded myself of my Mathias haze, I found my dreams intoxicatingly filled with Jacob. And each morning, I found Edward a little more off kilter when I emerged downstairs. After one particularly intimate dream, he couldn't even bring himself to look at me.

"That's hardly fair," I teased he and Bella, not at all feeling the need to apologize for what my subconscious projected to him during the night. I was basically full grown now, and the sooner we broke out of the concept that I was a child, the easier it would be for us all to establish normalcy. "Do you know how many years I've had to listen to you two doing the real thing? Repeatedly. Hourly. And you want to get upset if I have one little dream?"

"It wouldn't have bothered me so much if I didn't have to see you ravaged by a wolf," he forced out. Bella smiled, though. Mothers understand better. You don't cease being their baby even though you're becoming a woman. I shouldn't push my father's patience, but how often did I have the opportunity to sound more cool with a situation then he did?

"Edward," I giggled. "I don't think that act is actually physically possible, even with certain dexterous advantages."

"Let me see and I'll tell you," Alice begged, wanting to get in on the jesting. I took her hand and showed her a few select snippets of my dream. "Oh, yes it is, but it requires some special equipment. We'll talk later."

"Alice, you leave my daughter's innocence alone!" Edward growled.

School had normalized as well. I avoided Mathias, and his only acknowledgement of me was the occasional holding open of the door when we happened to arrive in sixth period at the same moment. I would see him occasionally want to say something, but I had become skilled at engaging with my hourly assigned vampire body guard if he looked too closely or too long at me, not creating the opportunity for him to speak.

The Cullen/Hale clique had become the exclusive clique everyone wanted to join but was barred from entry. We rarely interacted with any other student unless absolutely necessary. We were content with each other's company, and the rest of the students understood that approaching any of us would be meet only with indifferent kindness. I found myself enjoying my classes, learning every bit of knowledge I could suck from them. Bridgeport was a very challenging and advanced school. Edward was quite pleased with my progress, and was even surprised to be learning a few things himself.

Moira's class, on the other hand, was painful. Not by virtue of her teaching; she was an accomplished educator. But every fifth period, I felt reminded that I was the only one acknowledging the 300 pound gorilla in the corner. Moira remained kind, but aloof. I had guessed that Mathias had shared the boathouse incident with her, and she had decided not to get involved. She had remained true to her opening day statements about history, though. She made you _feel_ the history, not just hear about it. Her class was like an eccentric narrative by a well-rehearsed story teller. She drew all of us in with her tales of stampeding armies, harsh rulers, and noble deeds. Even Japser was moved.

"The way she describes the fear of the armies in the Battle of the Trebia," he told Carlisle while the three of us hunted in the hilly woodlands some thirty miles inland from Lac de Brouillard on a rainy mid-October morning. "She understands the fear in battle that men feel. So often, humans overlook this very aspect: what it is like to stand there in the morning mists as the enemy descends, not knowing if you would live the day, or even the hour. Hand to hand battle was the only option. Every man must be committed to the reckless murder of dozens of opponents by blade or hand or sword or spear- the utter slaughter of senseless killing. At least when I killed a human, it was for food. What of the death for the sake of land or treasure? Of course, I knew all the facts of history, but she renders the emotion of it so realistically. She feels it herself, as though she were there.

Carlisle eyed him suspiciously.

"I can't tell if she's feeling the emotion as a reactionary phase or recollection," Jasper added, suggesting that he had considered the possibility himself. "But which ever, it's very vivid. It almost overpowers my senses at times."

I reflected on the possibility for a moment. What if she had been a witness at the Battle of the Trebia? That would make her over two thousand years old? Crushingly, I felt the _under_ weight of my mere seven years.

"And then there was the elephant," Jasper said.

"Elephant?" Carlisle asked.

"It was amazing," I picked up as we shifted direction towards a herd of moose to the east. "She told the class to meet on the lawn on Thursday– we didn't know what to expect. And then from around the corner of the school building walks an actual elephant. Moira dared any of the students who were brave enough to face off with it just like the Romans would have had to done. Oh, I didn't realize how tall elephants were. You could see why 40 elephants charging out of the alps would have been so demoralizing, why the Carthaginians were so successful despite all their disadvantages."

"We practically had to tie Emmett down, though," Jasper smiled. "I wouldn't be surprised if he and Rose spend Christmas break on safari."

"And where did she get an elephant from?" Carlisle wondered, pacing slowly with his hand behind his back. The moose weren't going anywhere.

"Yeah, I asked that. All she would say is she 'knew a guy'," I answered, using my finger quotes.

Carlisle smiled, thoroughly delighted. "You like her."

"She's so charismatic," I answered, nodding. "She was so warm to me that first day. Even after the episode with Mathias, and she threw up this wall to any more girl to girl chat, I really admire her."

I thought a moment further. Vampires thrived on instinct. I still held to mine: Moira was like me. She was kindred.

"I think," I said in a very contemplative tone, "that if ever I were to have a true friend, outside of the family, I mean, I would very much it to be Moira."

And then the immediately afterthought… _if only she and Mathias didn't seem to be such a package deal._

"I think it's time I meet this Moira Arrashk," Carlisle concluded after a few minutes.

"She asked us not to interfere," Jasper reminded him.

"Maybe she'll change her mind," Carlisle hypothesized. "I would like to make the invitation, nonetheless. She would be free to deny it if she wants to keep her distance."

Jasper's phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out quicker than my eyes could follow.

"Of course it's you, Alice," he smiled knowingly at me. "Yes, he did just say that… Of course you did… No, I think that's fine. What did she say...? Yeah, well, that's only a few hours…. Of course we can make it back, but we'd kind of like to get a bit to eat first, dear… Okay, I'll make sure to tell her. Bye, sweetheart."

"So, Alice called Moira," I concluded. "And I take it she accepted Alice's invitation."

"Yes, and no," Jasper returned. "She agreed it was time to get together, but only if it's ALL of us, and only if it's at her place."

"I don't see anything disagreeable with that," Carlisle agreed. "Nessie, are you okay with being around Mathias?"

"I'll be with my family," I smiled. "I will be fine Mathias means nothing to me. Just a passing fancy."

"Fantastic," Carlisle smiled. "Well, this should be an interesting night."

" _Really_ interesting," Jasper commented in a tone that begged for more detail. I glanced at him with a crooked, curious smile. "Alice and Bella went shopping up in St. John's today. Everybody will have new outfits for tonight, no doubt."

"Jasper, dear, don't you ever get tired of being her dress up doll?" I asked. _I know I do._

"I don't mind her dressing me up at all, just as long as she undresses me afterwards. And now, the moose?" Jasper asked impatiently. He hardly hid his detest of animal blood. It was a chore for him, but one how faithfully attended to in lieu of his true desire.

O _ur_ true desire.

"Wait," I said, sniffing again on the breeze as it shifted ever so slightly from east to east southeast. "What is that? Not puma, I think, but a carnivore."

My mouth watered. I hadn't taken a carnivore since Forks, since… no, I would not include the human. But, it was too long. I needed to taste blood imbued with carnal essence.

"Bobcat," Carlisle concluded, pointing in the direction my thirst was pulling me. "Just one, though, and hardly substantial enough for either Jasper or me. You take it, Nessie. We'll meet you back here in 15 minutes, say?"

I nodded, and dashed off in the direction of the scent which was not so appealing, but still far more appealing than a moose or deer. He was only a half-mile away, and small enough not to give me too much fight. I rarely won a carnivore. The bear and cougars in Washington were too large for me: I was strong enough to kill them, but until a year ago too small to hold them down. Bobcat was the perfect size.

He faced off with me, but his struggle was pointless. Within moments of my growl, his blood was filling me. I dropped his exsanguinated body after two minutes, and turned back to the rendezvous point.

Unexpectedly, I found my thoughts turning to Mathias. Did he know we were coming tonight? Would he think that this was my 'when'? How mistaken he was. My bond to Jacob had never felt stronger. His trial started in six days. His lawyer was estimating the trial would be wrapped up by Thanksgiving. By Christmas, he would be in my arms.

I saw Carlisle and Jasper in the distance. No doubt they had had their fill as well. Carlisle the hunter had always been a sight to behold. It was hard to imagine his cool and comforting bedside manner melting away until a snarl of growls and tearing of flesh. Yet, with the exception of Emmett, he was perhaps the most deadly hunter of us all. After all, he had over three centuries to perfect his craft. His humanity fooled even wildlife. He could almost walk up to them and scratch their ears before ripping into their throats with his teeth.

They waved at me, still some forty yards away, and turned to head back up to the trail head and the car three miles away. I broke into a swift gate behind them, but of course they were always a little quicker. I didn't mind being a little behind.

Like I was in so many other ways.

"What the…?"

Out of the corner of my, I saw the flash of something that did not belong there, something … small but human. I could not make out details; the being was too far away. A hunter? A hiker? Almost as if he had seen me, he turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. The speed was human, and he seemed dressed in a heavy coat, so I guess the later; a hunter who was almost in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 _Lucky for him_.

 _Strange, though, that neither Jasper nor Carlisle had picked up his scent…_

 _Strange neither had I…._


	14. No Such Word Exists

"On or off, Edward?"

He turned the key and started the Jaguar purring. It seemed a little ridiculous that we were going to drive the 2.8 miles from our driveway to Moira's up the hill, and in two cars nonetheless. We could run the distance in a minute flat. But, the weather toward dusk had migrating from drizzle to wet snow, and Alice demanded that our new clothes not be subjected to the elements so quickly. So, Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper and I loaded into Esme's car, and the others into Carlisle's Mercedes.

"On or off what?" Edward returned as he adjusted the rearview mirror and backed out of the garage.

"You- do you want to be on or off?"

He cast her a sideways grin.

"Is there a way for you to turn me off? You always turn me on."

Jasper groaned, and I rolled my eyes. Bella just gave him a kid hit in the arm.

"Focus, darling. I mean your head. Moira's thoughts are uninterruptable for you, anyhow, but I'm sure Mathias' will be blaringly loud."

This he seemed to ponder sincerely as he turned up our drive and accelerated.

"Let's start with on," he returned as he waited for the gate to open. "Let me hear if he's still plotting against Jacob's best interest, or if he's still salivating over my daughter. If I think his thoughts are too disturbing or explicit for me to remain calm, I'll signal you to shut me down."

"Let's come up with a code word," Bella suggesting, finding an opportunity to turn this into a game.

"A _code_ word?" Edward grimaced. "You've been reading those spy novels during class again, haven't you?"

"Never caught once," she smiled. "High school is so much easier the second time through, and with superhuman abilities. It has to be a word that you could easily work into a conversation, but not one that you would usually say under normal circumstances."

"How about 'rutabaga'?" Alice suggested.

"How would 'rutabaga' ever come up in conversation?"Jasper queried, looking askance at Alice. Even he sometimes didn't follow her logic.

"Discussions of a vegetarian life style, of course," Alice concurred.

"Fine, rutabaga it is," Edward agreed.

Moira's house was set much closer to the road than ours, and had no gate. The reason seemed obvious; this house was much older, dating back at least a century. Frenchmen's Fork was probably nothing more than a driveway to this home before ours was built. I guessed that living five miles off the main road was far enough away to ensure privacy.

I crawled out of the car struggling against the folds of my new floor length leather skirt and teal silk blouse as I slid across the back seat. I looked like a medieval beer maiden. But, it made Alice happy, so I guess I could pull it off for one night.

I had only seen the house from the back, and could make out some of the top part of the Victorian structure over the trees when looking out my bedroom window. I had not been prepared for its size or grandeur. The main structure rose three stories, but the tower rose over the front portico another two. It must have been this I was seeing over the trees, and had assumed that the rest of the house was as diminutive in its width. The term 'mansion' seemed an understatement. This was a palace. Did only two people really live here?

I gasped, and I wasn't alone. We all seemed awe-struck by the structure, except Edward. I guessed that following the boathouse incident, he had been doing some detective work. Perhaps he had even let himself in, and explored the house. Then again, Moira was an unknown quantity, not to mention that killing Mathias in certain moods might have proved too much a temptation for him. No, he probably had just peeked in all the windows.

"Let's not gawk," Carlisle suggested, and took Esme on his left arm and me on his right, leading us up the front steps to an oak door framed on all sides with Victorian stained glass windows. Alice had gone overboard with all of our attire. Though Esme did look heartbreakingly beautiful in her new gown and Carlisle dashing in his black Armani suit, I wondered if we were being a little too formal. What if we walked in and Moira was in jeans and Mathias was in sweat pants?

"Vampires tend towards the eccentric," Edward said, reading my dilemma. "Even if they are dressed down, this won't seem so out of place to Moira."

"So you think Moira is a vampire, too?" I asked quickly as Esme reached out ring the doorbell. The echo of carillon bells rang out through the crisp air and echoed off the hillside. They must not receive many visitors, I mentally noted. We would have been able to hear this sort of clang from our house for certain.

"I don't know what she is, but I know she's something _like_ us more than she's unlike us," he answered.

The human-paced thumping of feet passing over hardwood floors registered in my ears. _Mathias! Argh._ I felt like hiding, ducking to the back of our party behind Emmett so I would be the last one seen. Esme kept me stationed.

"Be brave, Nessie," she reassured me. "After all, he's just a boy."

I swallowed. Hard.

He opened the door, and his blue eyes drank me in as though I had been served on a platter for just him. I saw him shudder, and wondered if it was from the cold air rushing into the house, or from the hot breathes escaping from my mouth. We were not overdressed: he looked irresistible in a dark blue blazer, teal dress shirt and sandy brown tie. How quaint, we matched.

I swallowed harder.

Alice would get her up commence later on.

 _Nessie, stop ogling him. Be respectable._ It wouldn't be so hard if he would just rip those eyes out of his head. Then he couldn't gaze into mine this way.

"Ren, you look… wow," is all he could say for a moment.

Wow, Mathias, speechless.

"Rutabaga!" Edward shouted. "For the love of mercy, Bella, rutabaga!"

Mathias' gaze was drawn over my shoulder to the smoldering face of my father shouting out the name of a random vegetable. It probably wasn't worth it to explain.

Well, at least it broke the tension.

"You must be Mathias," Carlisle said, taking his arm from my side and presenting his hand.

"Dr. Cullen," Mathias nodded, shaking his hand in turn and recomposing himself. He turned towards Esme, "Mrs. Cullen."

He swung the door fully open and motioned for us to enter. I drifted to the side and allowed the procession of couples to enter first. Left outside on the porch along, Mathias stepped out and offered me his arm. I looked at him confused for a moment.

"Just trying to be a gentleman, milady," he explained.

I cautiously hooked my arm around his, moving slowly, remembering Esme's warning. It had been awhile since I touched a human purposefully with benign intentions. The last one was Charlie. Mathias was pleased, though he tried to hide it miserably. His smile at receiving me on his arm brimmed from ear to ear. I wondered how many times he had imagined a scenario just like this.

"Moira apologizes for not being able to greet you properly," he announced as he closed the door behind us. "She's on a phone call, and will join us shortly."

I stretched my ears to hear her. If she were in the house, I should be able to make out her voice. Finally, I placed it, somewhere on the third floor, conversing in very hushed tones, in what I thought might be Arabic. I would have to remember later to ask Edward or Alice. Mathias pulled suggestively on my arm, leading me through the throng of my family and into the foyer. I could feel the weight of their eyes on us: what was I doing strolling along side him locked arm in arm?

"I suppose offering you something to drink seems out of place?" Mathias asked.

"Sure, but you'll have to take off the tie," Emmett chuckled. Rosalie quickly swapped him upside the head.

"Emmett," Carlisle rebuked.

"Well, how often do I get to make that kind of joke?" he defended himself. "Since Bella, who do I get to tease?"

"You'll have to forgive our son," Esme apologized as we all found seats in the armchairs of the foyer. "He sometimes lets his sense of humor get away with him."

"No offense?" Emmett asked to appease Rose and Esme.

Mathias lowered me into an armchair between Edward and Bella. "None taken. I thought it was funny, actually. And it's hardly the worst one told at my expense."

Emmett turned to Rosalie with a look of a badgered puppy. "See, he got the joke."

Rosalie just let out a sigh. There was no changing Emmett.

My eyes began to drink in the room. I had never seen so many antiques in one place. The foyer was like the reception room of some old world dynasty. I was no great lover of art, but by virtues of my study, I recognized a Ming Vase some five feet high in the corner, with a bust of Aphrodite sitting on a column next to it. The back wall was the most intriguing. There were metal crosses of some sort, some 30 of them, arranged at random, each 10-20 inches tall and 6-15 inches across, made of either metal or stone. On the left and right framing them were also two tall ornamented swords, each crescent-shaped and five feet long.

"What an impressive collection of ankhs," Esme noted, looking in the same direction as I. Everyone else turned and gazed too. "The scimitars, though… Arab?"

"That one is Ottoman, actually," Mathias answered as he pointed to the bigger and more decorative of the two. "Moira likes to keep mementos."

"But those ankhs must be hundreds of years old," Edward debated.

"We spent part of this summer in Egypt, these are mostly mementos of that dig," Mathias explained.

He was lying. And he wasn't very good at it.

"Actually, that's not entirely true."

We all turned in unison to the far side of the room to find the source of the quickly beating human heart. Moira entered, taking all attention away from the wall, her eyes as beautifully creamy jade as always. She was dressed in an embroidered cotton wrap top with Indian accents and dark pants, and walked soundlessly through the foyer with bare feet. She took the right scimitar off the wall and handed it to Jasper, who had risen to get a better look. Then we all felt obliged to gather closer and crowd around the display, looking at the curiosity.

"Some of the anks are actually from digs in Egypt, but this scimitar dates from the 1520's, and was presented to me by Suleyman the Magnificent himself," she explained. "A treasure such as this would be impossible to just stumble across. Mathias, they are a little smarter than that."

Mathias' checks stained red with embarrassment. It was nice for once to see him lacking confidence. As Jasper studied the sword in greater detail, going over it with kid gloves, Moira turned toward the rest of us.

"You must be Dr. and Mrs. Cullen," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Moira Arrashk-Moretti."

"Please, Carlisle."

"Esme."

"Of course," Moira continued, turning towards the rest of us. "I already know Emmett and Jasper from class, as well as Ren."

"My wife, Rosalie," Emmett presented. Rosalie took the hand reluctantly. It was clear to see she was still uncomfortable with the mystery of Moira. Rosalie was always the hardest to win over.

"I'm Alice, Jasper's wife," Alice presented herself. Jasper was still too engrossed with the scimitar to bother.

"A pleasure to meet you both," she smiled. She turned toward the last two members of our family.

I felt obligated to be the one to present Edward and Bella. But, how to present them? What to call them?

I decided I didn't want to hide the truth from Moira. I wanted her to know, to know me, to know all about me. I wanted her to be my friend, my confidante. I _needed_ it. Since Edward was mentally blocked by Bella, he would not suspect that I was to reveal our family's most carefully guarded secret.

"Moira," I smiled, putting my arms behind them and gently pushing them forward. "These are Edward and Bella Cullen, my… parents."

"As I've suspected," Moira answered, shaking their hands. Bella's face was a clear combination of concern and surprise. "My dear, you don't live as long as I have and not come to recognize a few things. Besides, she has your eyes."

"My eyes?" Bella asked, automatically reaching up to her face and brushing her hand past her amber pupils.

"Well, the way I imagine your eyes must have looked…before," Moira added. "But there can be no doubt the she is her father's daughter."

I wasn't sure if Edward was upset, or shocked, or both. Moira's voice was gentle; there was no hint of an ulterior motive in her tone.

"Please, won't you all sit down? For Mathias' sake, so he doesn't feel obligated to stand about so."

Moira had a talent for being deceptively cool, but I wondered at the detached fashion that she used in addressing Mathias, almost as if he was the hired help who was waiting in the wings for instruction. She was as busy studying us as we were her; yet, she never looked directly at Mathias. He, of course, was too busy memorizing my features to note this, if it was noteworthy at all. Their relationship was untraditional. No matter what Moira was, she wasn't human. Having a human in her midst must have been the source of some struggle for her. Had she ever been tempted by his blood? It occurred to me that even the references they made to each other were indicative of this relationship, he calling her "mother", she calling him her "ward."

"Carlisle?" Esme questioned. He was staring at Moira. More specifically, he was staring at Moira's eyes. I knew the attraction.

"Amazing," he breathed. "I've never seen that shade of eye before, Dr. Arrashk."

"Of course, you must call me Moira, Carlisle. Yes, well, amber isn't so common either," Moira quipped. "I'm accustomed to vampires' eyes being crimson or black, but not amber."

"Animal blood, it stains the eyes differently," Edward answered stoically.

He was trying to judge for himself if this was an amiable occasion, or if there was reason to be aloof. Edward had gotten too in the habit of finding daggers everywhere. I'd wish he'd just relax, and let me get to know her. I had waited six weeks for a chance to ask my questions. I would get answers.

Silence. Please, somebody say something.

"Your home is very beautiful." _Thank god, Esme. "_ Have you lived here long?"

"Thank you." Moira glanced around her, taking an admiring view of her surroundings. "Actually, I've owned it for years. I bought it from the school in 1958, when they built the new building on the other side of the lake. This was the original Bridgeport school, you see, from 1884. I used it mostly for storage of my… what was that word you used, Mathias, _momentos?_ Mathias and I only moved in three years ago when I took a job at the school. "

"And where were you before then?" Edward asked, his voice a little edgy with suspicion.

"Well, Mathias and I lived in Cairo for a couple years, and in London before that. "

"Yeah, that wasn't a traumatic childhood move," Mathias scoffed. "From bitter cold Kensington to blazingly hot Zamalek."

"All in your best interests, my dear," said Moira, smiling at her _ward. "_ And what of you, Esme? What brought you to the Lock?"

I felt eight pairs of eyes quickly shift to me, and just as quickly shift away, ashamed.

"It served our best interests," Edward answered cryptically on our behalf.

"Of course, it was not my intention to pry," Moira apologized, looking down at her hands, wringing them. "It's just a little peculiar to me, you see, that the second biggest coven of vampires I have even seen in my existence should move in next door, and bring a female hybrid along. I am ashamed to say, I at first thought the worse of it."

Her voice grew shaky. Was she about to cry? Her eyes did look unexpectedly wet, but I could see no tears. Bella shot daggers at Edward as a reprimand for his rudeness. Mathias for the first time pulled his eyes off me threw them to Moira. He arose from his armchair and rushed to her, leaning in front of her , squatted on the floor and cupping his hands over hers.

"We don't need to do this," he whispered lovingly to her, kissing the backs of her hands. "Your circumstances are none of their concern."

"Mathias, my dear one." It seemed her heart had melted. Perhaps I had misinterpreted her before. She placed her hand tenderly on his cheek. "What of your belief in fate? Would not fate be the very cause of this odd turn of events? I will not endure in this silence any longer, seeing her every day, knowing the danger she is in and holding my tongue. I cannot stand idly by. It's only a matter of time before _they_ realize the danger she is. And when they do, they will destroy them all. Look at them."

She tilted Mathias' face towards us, our expressions full of the unease of her words.

"They are good people. They are a loving family," she continued, speaking only to him. "How would I live with myself if I did not share with them what I know, and then learn later on they were destroyed because I wanted to stay hidden? How selfish of me. And here, I thought you told me Ren was your destiny? Wouldn't you want me to save her, then, even if it put my own life in danger?"

Mathias nodded. I observed a single tear streaking down his cheek.

"Moira, we do not expect you to share anything with us against your self-preservation," Carlisle advised. "We have and we will continue to respect your privacy, if that's what you desire."

"I have been ready to die for millennia, Carlisle," she stated, gathering back the determination in her voice. "But I am not dead. I survive, in some ways. Mathias believes in fate, in destiny. He believes all things line up long before we are ever born, and we ride along like fallen leaves on a stream. I have not always agreed with him, but in this case I must. Renesmee is unique- a human-vampire hybrid- a _female_ human-vampire hybrid. Few minds have memories stretching back as far as mine. They do not remember just how special such a being is. But I do. It is only a matter of time before the truth is discovered, and then they will come for her. They will come to destroy her. And fate has led her to me, so that I can defend her. Just as it led me to Mathias, so that I could keep him safe from them as well. And then, it brings them together, in the same town, the same school, the same classroom. How could I deny that?"

"Save me from whom?" I asked, feeling frightened for one of the few times in my life.

But I didn't need her to answer. I knew who the threat was. I knew it before I had ever met her, or killed a man, or watched my grandfather die in the street.

"The Volturi, my child."

Edward was on his feet and poised defensively before me almost before the words had fallen from her lips. He hissed and growled. Moira reacted by taking the same poster against Mathias, and hissing and growling back just as threateningly Her eyes began blackening over, and her skin grew pale.

The rest of us were shell shocked. We had all known that their pinging on our lives had never ceased. Still, we had lived nearly seven peaceful years since their first attempt on us. We had always suspected there would be a second.

"Edward, calm down," Bella pleaded, leaping to her feet and pulling at his arms. Emmett arose as well, and assisted her with restraining him. Jasper moved to his side, and Edward's countenance relaxed, pulling his snarl back into a lull. Moira likewise let down her guard, her eyes and skin retreating back.

"No more games, Moira, speak!" he demanded, still able to leak his anger past Jasper's coat of calm as Bella sat him back into an armchair. "What are you?"

"There is no word for what I am in the modern tongues of man," was all Moira said. "In my times, we were called _anacktumai._ "

"But, you are vampire, too," Bella went on.

"I'm somewhat like your daughter, a hybrid of sorts," Moira answered.

 _I knew it._ Even in this heavy moment, I couldn't help but feel a momentary justification for my pride in my prediction.

"Only... I think, she was born a hybrid," Moira returned. "This is not unheard of. Rare, but possible. What I cannot figure out is how did you survive, Bella?"

"It was very difficult," Carlisle added from behind us. "Bella nearly died. Even I did not think she would survive the transformation at first. But Edward acted quickly and with such diligence. He injected venom directly into her heart, and performed CPR until it took. Then the transformation happened very fast- less than two days."

"That's impossible; Renesmee would not have survived a venom injection at such a young age."

There was something so certain in her voice, so determined of her veracity, that Edward grew quite concerned. He suppressed any remnants of his rage and defensiveness and addressed Moira civilly.

"The injection was given right _after_ Renesmee was delivered," he assured her. "Why, Moira? Why would it have been impossible for her to survive?"

"Because she is a female hybrid," she answered, as though that explained it. She met our blank expressions and continued. "Ren, is your bite venomous?"

"No, deadly, but clean," I answered. I had never considered this significant. That is, no more significant than any other of my irregularities that had me walk the constant line between human and monster. Between beauty and beast.

"And has any vampire ever bitten you?" she continued.

"No, of course not."

I looked around at my family, giving them a supportive smile. I did not think that she had indicted them specifically, but I didn't want any moment of doubt to pass in their minds.

"Of course they have not, indeed, they all are still alive," she said, looking at them as well.

"I don't follow," I said confused. But I did. It just didn't make sense. It couldn't make sense.

It. Was. Impossible.

"Our blood," Moira said, placing her hand sympathetically on my shoulder," is different from either human blood or vampire venom. If the venom is the disease, we are the cure. Our blood is the anti-venom."

"Don't you see, Ren?" Mathias emerged from behind Moira, bracing my other shoulder. "You and Moira are the same. You're both _anucktumai_ \- vampire killers."


	15. Mosaic

Numb.

Utterly.

"That does all sort of make sense," Carlisle was commenting somewhere behind me in slow, contemplative tones.

My vision was becoming unfocused, and my pulse was drowning out all the sounds from my ears. I couldn't capture enough air to satisfy my lungs. Dryness was parching me. But it was not thirst.

"Renesmee?" Jasper queried anxiously. "Carlisle, she's going to pass out."

Cold arms whisked me into an embrace. My senses were dulled; I couldn't tell to whom they belonged. I took one last ragged breath, and sank into darkness.

{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}

"You would be overwhelmed; too, if you just found out that you spent your whole life on the verge of destroying everyone you loved with a single drop of blood."

The voice seemed like it was coming from afar, somewhere outside of my existence. But it was so close, just a few feet from me. Someone was holding my hand, someone whose body heated just a warmly as mine. I opened my eyes, trying to focus, but everything was blurry. Long dark hair and olive skin.

"Jacob?" I asked in my stupor. Could it be my love? Had he found a way back to me?

But as my eyes regained strength, they focused on the pair of creamy emerald eyes twinkling back at me. Everything seemed so bright. Was it morning? And was the sun shining?

"See, she's okay," Moira said with a sigh of relief. "It was just shock. She'll be okay as soon as we get a little sugar into her."

"Nessie doesn't eat human food." Bella informed her. "Unless you have some antelope blood on tap."

"If we had fruit bats, I would prefer those," Moira answered back to Bella somewhat defensively. "Mathias, bring up some soda from the fridge please. There should be plenty, I just stocked up for the ball."

I heard footsteps leave the room. I tried to sit up. My temple was pounding. I got half way up, and fell back like a rag doll. The room was spinning.

"Easy now," Carlisle ordered, pushing me back against some pillows he had ruffled up at a moment's notice. I sat upright, looking out on a sea of faces heavy with alarm. Moira on my left, Carlisle on my right. Bella and Edward at the foot of the bed. "Bella, I think Moira's right. This is a human reaction. A human solution is better."

Why were my eyes straining so? Where was all that light coming from?

"You slept through the night, darling." Edward told me. My eyes focused in on him, sparkling. The whole room was drenched with bright streams of autumnal sunlight bouncing off diamondesque flesh. It was a room filled with crystal chandeliers, casting a thousand points of light. And my skin, giving off a faint glow, just like Moira's face looking down at me tenderly, seemed sub-par. I had never seen her in the sun. It made her even more beautiful.

"Did… I… pass out?" I asked, restating the obvious. "I didn't think that was possible."

"We never know just what is or isn't possible with you," Carlisle smiled, placing his icy palm over my forehead.

Mathias reentered, touting a bottle of lemon-lime soda. He popped the top and handed it to Carlisle.

"Please, Carlisle," I begged. The popping of the little bubbles was already turning my stomach. Water on occasion: okay. Milk when it was fresh and cool, actually not so bad. Soda? Never.

"Doctor's orders," he coaxed.

"I am not drinking that stuff," I declared, crossing my arms.

Mathias turned his azure gaze towards me and locked into my eyes.

"Drink it," he commanded firmly.

I felt as though I could not argue with his stare. Timidly, I took the can from Carlisle's hand, and pulled a sip. It was better than I thought, so I downed a little more. In one more long tip, I drank the remainder of the bottle bottle down completely.

"Well, I'll be," I gasped, examining the empty can in my hands.

"That's… odd," Edward said, his eyes turning on me like he was trying to diagnose me, then flashing back to Mathias.

Moira turned angrily to him. "That was totally unnecessary."

"How did he…? Did he just…" Edward stumbled for words. What a rare sight.

I felt the gas bubble rising in my throat, but couldn't contain it before it belched out. I felt my face flush with everyone turned towards me.

"Don't worry, Nessie, that's completely normal." Carlisle assured me.

"She's never had a soda before?" Mathias asked surprised. Surely this would seem like a depraved life to most teenagers.

"She prefers blood," Carlisle said. "She can eat human food, but doesn't do it usually unless necessary."

I wondered what had transgressed in the hours I had been asleep. Everyone now seemed on such casual terms. Where was I anyways? This was not my room or any room in my house.

"This is Moira's room," Edward replied to my thoughts. _Bella must have un-rutabagabed him_. "Yes, we thought it best when you passed out. Everyone was so tense; we didn't know what was happening for a few minutes. Luckily, Jasper was there to keep us all in check."

"That's quite an impressive thing you do, Jasper," Moira said without looking at him. "You're a gifted empath."

"It comes in handy in this family," he replied, no sense of pride in his tone.

"You have an interesting family, Ren. I've never seen a larger coven with so much familiar attachment. And then on top of all that: the vegetarianism and the talents. Not to mention, just how amazingly wonderful they all are." Moira smiled.

"She's talking about me, you know," Emmett bragged. "I am pretty damn impressive."

"Well, you did swoop her up before she lost her balance," Rosalie admitted. Wow, she was going to let it pass. "Was it just me, or was anyone else having Bella flashbacks?"

"Hmm." Moira scratched her chin and smiled. Edward let out a chuckle.

"What is it?" Bella asked curiously.

"Just a silly joke, love," Edward dismissed. "She thought, if we were vegetarians that would make you a _porta-_ Bella."

"I guess I was lucky that you were a mushroom lover, then," Bella sighed. She obviously didn't find the joke funny.

"Don't you have to teach today?" I asked yawning. It was Monday morning, after all. The odd sunny day would of course disallow the Cullen's from the attending school.

"I called Bridgeport and told them a tree fell over the entry to Frenchman's Fork, and that we would all be out today," Moira explained. She turned to Emmett. "Were you able to find one big enough to make it look convincing?"

"No problem, teach," he smiled. Emmett did love be given physical challenges so. "Do I get extra credit for that?"

My eyes came into focus. Not having seen sun rays in weeks had left me forgetful of the brilliance of sunlight. I tried to make my thoughts as vivid, but I was swirling in a sea of confusion. She had told me were alike, and for a moment I had felt I found a solace. But, when she revealed to me how we were alike, I threw myself into full flung denial it was not possible. Is this what I had wanted? To be a danger to my own family? A vampire killer?

"I think I'm okay now."

I arose from the bed, and for the first, realized my clothes had been changed. I saw my new designer digs folded neatly on a nearby chair, but found the full length cotton tunic I was in very comfortable. The sugar was helping, after all. The room had stopped spinning, and everything was settling. All I wanted now was a hot shower and pants.

"I'll run home to get some clothes for you. Moira, if it would not be an inconvenience for you, Nessie would like to take shower," Edward declared, dashing from the room before I could argue with him. She nodded approvingly.

"Are we staying?" I asked.

"Our conversation sort of got cut off last night," Moira answered. "Your family spent most of the night relaying their histories to me, and telling me all about you, and Forks, and La Push, and Charlie and Sue and Jacob, and I feel like I've known you for a thousand years now."

"Don't you sleep?"

She smiled at me curtly, throwing her arm around my shoulder and leading me into the bathroom. "I have withheld answering any of their questions. It's more important for you to ask yours first. Just get washed up and comfortable first."

"Okay, folks, she doesn't need you hear to watch her shower," Alice declared. "Everyone out."

I heard them filing out of the room. Moira lead me through a heavy oaken door into a bathroom nearly the size of my bedroom. She pulled a few plush towels from a cabinet and set them on the sink top.

"Everything you need should be in there, but I keep extras in the linen closet in the corner if you want anything. Help yourself."

"Moira, thank you." There was a deep sincerity to my voice that caused her to look at me confused. "For telling me straight out. It must have been hard for you. But, I am glad. I'm glad I know I'm not alone… anymore."

"I know precisely how you feel, dear," she smiled. "And you're welcome. When you're done, we'll be in the ballroom. Mathias and I have a lot of work to do."

Moira's shower had five different heads, all focusing in on my body from different directions and relieving the stress from each of my muscles in turn. All her soaps smelled of sandalwood and roses. _That explains her scent._ As I stepped out of the shower after indulging myself for a good 15 minutes, I peaked around the corner to make sure the bedroom was still emptied. The only thing I found was a pile of my freshly delivered clothes awaiting me on the bed. Just a pair of slacks and a black cashmere sweater. Simple, but elegant.

I emerged from the bedroom, curiously unaware of where to go. This house was five stories, in some parts. I didn't even know which floor I was on. I looked left and right, and followed Mathias' cherry blossom essence to central staircase and a set of French doors at the landing. I could make out five or so separate conversations behind the doors, and slowly pushed them open into the ballroom.

I stopped breathing.

"Is this possible?"

They all looked at me with shared awe, even though they had been waiting for me and had time for the shock to set in. I guessed it hadn't. The floor was polished alabaster marble, a gold and crystal chandelier gracing the ceiling. And the piece de resistance: Every wall of the tennis-court sized room was covered in intricate antique Roman mosaics.

"So, back in 1968, I was exploring up in the Bulgarian mountains in the middle of the winter, when I found an undisturbed Roman summer home buried in by a landslide in the second century, BCE," Moira began to explain, coming over to lead me in by the arm. "And it I had to have it. No easy task, let me tell you. I spent seven months carefully deconstructing the mosaics and brick work and smuggling them out under the watch of the red army special units. Oh, but it was worth it, wasn't it? Just look at them."

I was _looking_ at them. We all were. Though everyone had drifting into their own private conversations, we were all examining the living museum we were standing in awe struck. Edward and Bella had sat themselves at a baby grand piano at the far side of the room, Edward playing some variation of a Mendelssohn piece, Bella seated next to him with her head on his shoulder. Emmett and Jasper had found a section of the wall where more antique weaponry was displayed as art. Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme were examining one particularly captivating mosaic in finite detail. Most curiously, Alice has Jasper and Mathias arranging boxes into separate piles. Mathias struggled to keep up with the speed and quantity of her orders.

"What are _they_ doing?" I asked, indicating the mismatched threesome.

"Alice has very generous agreed to help us with arrangements for the Boo Ball," Moira answered.

"The what?"

"The Boo Ball," she giggled. "I know, the name is silly. It's Bridgeport's annual fall formal, and the school rents out my ballroom each year on Halloween to hold it in. It's a costume ball, of course. Mathias and I usually make all the arrangements ourselves. But, when I mentioned it to Alice, she commandeered the project. She's even offered to pay for all the expenses of her 'enhancements.'"

"I guess that means we'll have to attend, if Alice is running things."

My insides quivered at the idea of attending a high school dance. I had successfully navigated around such affairs during my one year at Forks High. Bella was all too supportive, relating to me the story of being tricked into attending her junior prom by a very determined and debonair vampire named Edward Cullen. But, with Alice involved, there would be no saying no. I knew in the back of her mind she was already plotting another trip to St. John's to gather fashionable reinforcements to force upon us, even if Halloween was only eleven days away.

"How do you do it?"I asked. "Live so humanly?"

"Millennia of observation and practice," she said as we reached two chaise loungers by the far windows and sat. "And Mathias helps. He's been a very stabilizing element these past nine years. To tell you the truth, I spent much of my existence as a roamer, settling down from time to time, taking up sometimes with a coven, other times with humans, but never really feeling that I belonged with either one. He changed that."

She pointed at Mathias, the look of complete admiration in her eyes. The look of a mother's love.

"Millennia?" I asked. "Moira, how old are you?"

Her teeth clenched and she looked away. I understood the look. She wasn't being deflective; she was being cautious.

"I had rather hoped that question would come later," he whispered. All the rest of the voices in the room had gone silent. They were all waiting for her answer as desperately as I. Only Mathias hesitated. Of course, his human ears would not have been able to follow the conversation from across the room as every one else's had.

"Mathíäs," she called across the room. The accent of her voice had unmistakably shifted, even in just the calling of his name. _"Treba ja reći njoj_?"

" _Ona lice od je u prezentu spreman. Reći njoj sve,_ " he answered in his naturally toned Serbian. Damn, a language Edward did not know.

"Yes, but are ready for me to tell her?" she asked, and I could guess what she had said. She was asking his permission. "It's been your sole secret for so long. Are ready for them to know as well?"

"It will be nice to have some company," he reassured her.

Moira nodded. The rest of my family was closing in. They were just as curious as was I. Mathias drifted to us as well, though the slowest, and sat bravely on the chaise next to me. I was beginning to get used to his presumed familiarity.

"The truth is, I don't know exactly how old I am," she began. "In those early years, it didn't seem important to know. I let centuries go by without counting. I woke, I hunted, I ate, I slept. Sunrise, sunset, in an endless procession. It was not until I was taken prisoner that the numbering of my days became so measured. Then, everyday became torment. If I had to guess, I would say at that point I was perhaps 500 years old."

"Who were you taken prisoner by?" Edward asked.

"By the guards of Menes, the pharaoh who united upper and lower Egypt."

Cool headed Carlisle was the one to gasp the loudest. Of the oldest of all of us, it was reassuring to see him as stunned as the rest of us.

"Moira, that's impossible. Even the oldest member of the Romanian Coven were only 2000 years old. How could you have survived?"

"One learns much about survival…" she answered "…especially after 5600 years."


	16. At Last I Could Kill No More

[Moira]

"Don't you see, Ren?" Mathias emerged from behind me, and placed his hand on Ren's other shoulder. Smooth. He wasn't going to miss a chance to touch her, no matter how ill-timed or foolish it was. "You and Moira are the same. You're both _anucktumai_ \- vampire killers."

That wasn't exactly a delicate interpretation of an ancient term drawn from a long forgotten history and imbued with shades of gray. Nonetheless, at its core, it was essentially true. A vampire who drank of our blood would indeed die of the antivenom.

I searched out Ren's expression for some indication of reaction. I couldn't tell if she was astonished, or incredulous. Her cheeks flushed crimson for a moment, before all the color drained from her face completely the next. Jasper came to stand next to her, finally drawn himself away from Suleyman's scimitar and after blocking her over reactive child of a father.

Ren's breathing was rapidly becoming shallow and quick. She was going into shock. At once, I wanted to pull Mathias aside and box his ears for unleashing the truth in such as gruesome manner. Was he so desperate to find common ground with her that he'd make her think she would kill her own family too? But then again, it had never been his intention for his parents to die. And he was convinced this vampire, this _anucktumai,_ was the girl that fate had selected for him. Mathias and his foolish human notions of destinies… But, no, he would not have inflicted such suffering on her psyche intentionally.

"That sort of makes sense," Dr. Carlisle Cullen commented.

I could see him working the puzzle pieces in his head. A trained doctor would have recognized an occurrence of prenatal pathogen resistance. A vampire would see that the pathogen in question was venom.

Ren began to tremble. Her knees buckled.

"Renesmee? Carlisle, she's going to pass out."

Emmett rushed forward just as her body went limp, catching her before she hit the ground. Not that it would have done her any damage: her skin was nearly as hard as theirs. Carlisle was next at his heel, examining her for signs of trauma.

"What did you do to her?" Bella pinned me to the wall, my head inches away from my other scimitar, before I'd even realized she had moved. Damn this suppressed state I kept myself in. My body might be strong, and my senses heightened. Without the aid of the venom, however, I had no chance of matching their speed. Bella wrapped her hands around my throat as the struggle played across her eyes. This was a mother's reaction, and the fact that she was vampire with unfathomable strength and speed was secondary.

"She's… just… overwhelmed," I gasped out through my restricted airway. "Her mind shut down her body as a defense."

If only Bella knew how hard it was for me to suppress my own instinct, and how dangerous it would be for her if I gave in.

Mathias took in the scene with skyrocketing panic. "Let her go!" he demanded. His command fell flat, unable to garner anyone's attention but mine. He made an unwise lunge in our direction, but Esme crossed his path and held him from advancing. Bella was losing control. She could feel under her stony grip how soft my skin was compared to hers, how easily torn it might be. Her eyes drifted toward my pulsating jugular. Her feeding instinct edged too near the surface. I needed to break her trajectory before it was too late.

I took a quick breath and pulled back the gates, allowing the venom in my blood to flow.

Instantly, I felt the familiar searing pain; flamelike pulses emanated from my core and shocked my flesh. The venom seized control, burning within and incorporating itself into being. But the process was all too familiar now, and isolating my mind from the pain an all too manageable task.

"Bella," I warned, my voice firmer, the oxygen no longer no necessary for breathing. "I don't want to hurt you. Please put me down."

Mathias's skin bleached. He could read the signs, had seen my transformation too many times not to recognize it. "Moira, don't!"

His pleas came too late. The venom had already won, and the imaginary clock had already began to tick away. There was no time to lose. In an instant, I threw my left arm over across my chest, grabbed the hilt of the scimitar, and brought the blade done with a slash. Sparks flew as the blade etched the smallest scratch over Bella's skin. Of course, it did not hurt her; nor had that been my intent. I just wanted to be free of her restraint. I fell to the ground with a thud, Bella taking a few steps back.

I saw their shock. Of course, I realized… in the incident at the school, they had not seen my crossing. They had only caught a momentary glance of black-blue eyes and frosted skin as I had turned back around. It had almost been too brief for them to reconcile to the possibility of what they had seen. This time, it had occurred in full view. They saw me standing human like before them one moment, and a few moments later, a fully borne vampire. Confusion swam in their eyes. It shouldn't be possible, even I knew that. How many times had I paid witness to that same doubt? In Egypt? In Romania? Italy? I could withhold the truth no longer. I owed them an explanation. All of them.

But that would have to wait. First, there was Ren and Mathias to deal with.

"Mathias, go."

As much as he threw himself dangerously close to Ren at every opportunity, he knew the true danger I represented in this state. He scuttled from the room without argument. My ears followed him up to the tower, where he wisely shut the iron door and closed the pressure locks. Every point of my being was focused on suppressing the urge to give chase, to drink from the cherry-scented boy who I had reared as my own for nine years.

"I am sorry, Bella," I apologized.

Confused, she was examining the tiny scratch I had inflicted. I looked at my side, the scimitar still in my hand, but the blade had been nearly bent back in half.

"I can't calm them all at the same time," Jasper decried.

"Focus on Edward," Alice instructed. She pulled Bella back into her embrace and whispered to her ear. "She's telling the truth, Bella. She didn't do mean to do anything to hurt you or Nessie. And she's not going to. She cares for Nessie too much to hurt her."

"How can you know that?" Bella asked. "You said you can't see her."

"I can see her for the next 24 seconds. There is nothing to fear."

I felt a rush of panic. 24. 23. 22.

"Moira, you have to tell us…." Carlisle's firm voice was demanding. I closed my eyes tightly, ignoring him. "Moira?"

19\. 18. 17.

 _Pull it back. It's too close. If you wait anymore, you won't be able to handle it. Pull back. Retreat._

11\. 10. 9. 8.

 _Great Anubis, get a hold of yourself. Just. Breathe._

7\. 6. 5. 4. 3.

My heart pounded a single loud pound that echoed in their ears. My eyes watered over and the ringing through my head was almost unbearable. I felt the _need_ for air return, and took in a titanic swallow to satiate my lungs.

That was too close. I felt the sensation of cold metal in my hands and looked down at my weapon still clutched defensively, bent on a crease down the midsection to a giant "V".

"Damn it, this scimitar was priceless. It was used by Saladin during the Siege of Jerusalem".

"Um, I'm … sorry?" Bella apologized, still being held by Esme. Her tone was sincere. I tried to flash her an understanding smile, but she had slipped into confusion, like the rest of them.

They all stared at me incoherently. For a moment, I was impressed that I could hold the undivided attention of eight creatures otherwise so easily distracted.

"There is an explanation, of course," I began, knowing very well what they were all thinking. _What is she?_ "But, I think it is only fair that we wait for Ren to come to before I explain it all. After all, it has so much more impact on her. Please, be assured you are my honored guest, and I mean you no disrespect or harm. How is she, Emmett?"

"Out cold," Emmett said, looking tenderly at the petite creature in his arms.

"I think she'll be fine," Carlisle confirmed, transferring the child into his embrace. "Edward, can you get anything from her?"

"She's dreaming about… him," he said without rising from the chair. "Everything seems okay."

I wondered how he knew. At that time, I recalled the incident in the hall that day in the school.

" _Edward, she's in immense pain and extremely thirsty," Jasper cried. "What is she thinking? Is she going to attack?"_

" _She's only thinking 'retreat' over and over. "_

"Oh," I gasped, and then continued in my mind, very consciously in the Queen's Proper English, to try my theory. " _You're a telepath."_

"Yes," he replied aloud. "But just one-way. I read minds, but I can't make others hear mine."

"Still, I imagine my mind must be very difficult for you," I smiled.

"I can hear it, but I can't understand much. The language you think in… I think it's very old."

"Indeed," I agreed. "And Jasper, you're an empath."

"A little more than that," he answered indifferently.

I was happy that our tones were becoming more courteous. I wondered if the calm descending over us was Jasper's doing.

"Unlike Edward, your ability does go both ways. And Bella? There's something about you too, child, isn't there?"

"Psychic shield," she answered curtly. She was still upset, but whether it was because of the mystery I instilled, or because of displeasure of her own actions, I knew not.

"And Alice," I said suspiciously, pointing my finger in her direction and pacing across the room. "You see the future."

"I see some of it, for some people," she admitted with smile. "I usually can't see you, but just now, for about a minute, you were crystal clear."

"Any theories on that?" Edward asked, seemingly both to me and to Alice.

"Because for about a minute, she was one of us."

"And now she's not?" Edward asked disbelievingly. "I cannot accept that."

"I guess not, but she's not human either, because her future's gone completely blank."

So, she could only see vampires and humans. Even in my suppressed state, I would be blind to her.

"And Emmett is a blockhead," Rosalie spoke up. "Look, you got your inside scoop. The rest of us are just your run of the mill vampires, insomuch as that exists. Can we tend to Nessie, please?"

"Of course," I agreed. "Put her up to my room. It's the third floor, second door on the right. If you want to change her into something more appropriate, there are some pajamas in the wardrobe, second door on the right side."

Alice sprang up. "I'll do that. I don't want those clothes damaged."

They were out of sight before I blinked. This left only six pairs of eyes staring at me. Intently.

"This evening has not gone exactly how I hoped," I admitted. "My apologies. I assure you I am not in the habit of inviting over guests and then squaring off in a death match with them."

Bella's head hung in shame. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"No need apologies. You just reacted as a mother. I know exactly the feeling."

She smiled. "Mathias?"

"He is as close to a child as I will ever have. I have dedicated my life to ensuring his."

She smiled. "Yes, then you do understand."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"Mathíäs," I called across the room. He looked up at me knowingly, hearing from the way I had shifted my voice to his native Serbian that I meant for only him to understand. " _Treba ja reći njoj_?"

" _Ona lice od je u prezentu spreman. Reći njoj sve_ ," he answered. _Tell her everything._

"Yes, but are you ready for me to tell _her_? It's been your sole secret for so long. Are ready for _them_ to know as well?"

"It will be nice to have some company," he reassured me.

I took a deep, steadying breath. This was it, no going back. I had carried these secrets with me so long, that the rest of the world had forgotten the secrets were there to be kept. I was going to lay bare to them the very essence of their existence, of _our_ existence. I was their Darwin, explaining the origin of species to them in a way I was quite sure none of their high schools ever had.

I was sure of the logical starting point: my own personal version of David Copperfield's "I am Born.". But Ren had found a question which I would have preferred to delay. It distracted them from my intended narrative. But I had promised to answer her questions. I felt bound by that promise.

"The truth is, I don't know exactly how old I am," I began. "In those early years, it didn't seem important to know. I let centuries go by without counting. I woke, I hunted, I ate, I slept. Sunrise, sunset, in an endless procession. It was not until I was taken prisoner that the numbering of my days became so measured. Then, everyday became torment. If I had to guess, I would say at that point I was perhaps 500 years old."

"Who were you taken prisoner by?" Edward asked.

"By the guards of Menes, the pharaoh who united upper and lower Egypt."

Carlisle gasped.

"Moira, that's impossible. Even the oldest members of the Romanian Coven were only 2000 years old. How could you have survived?"

"One learns much about survival…" I hesitated "…especially after 5600 years."

Bella stumbled, every syllable overly pronounced. "You're older than the pyramids?"

"Which pyramids?" I asked.

"The ones in Egypt!"

"Well, then, yes."

Emmett guffawed.

"But we've seen ancients," Ren interrupted. "The oldest Volturi and the Romanians. They _look_ different. Their skin is wispy, like crackling paper. And the Volturi's eyes are clouded over. But you look so…"

"…remarkably well preserved," Jasper added, suspicious. I wondered if he was misinterpreting my tension as a lie.

"Yes, well there is a reason for that, if you'll just let me start at the beginning. Let's look at it contextually," I said, smirking as I took on my most matriarchal classroom voice. "You forget what a gifted lecturer I am."

"Genetic experimentation is not such a new practice, as you might have been led to believe. Genetic manipulation of species goes back to the dawn of time, whether it was through selective breeding or unintentional drug-induced DNA manipulation. Humans are curious creatures. If it grows out of the ground, falls out of the sky, or swims in the ocean, there will be some moron foolish enough to stuff it in his mouth.

"In ancient Sumer, the early temple priests began to notice how different combinations of flora, fauna and other materials effected the body upon consumption. They catalogued and experimented. You might say it was history's first clinical trials. But unlike today, the purpose of these trials was not to cure disease or benefit quality of life. The purpose was twofold: to create undefeatable warriors, and to turn the king into an immortal god.

"Around 4000 BCE, they had their first success. I cannot tell you how they came up the formula, or what they derived it from. Somehow, they developed serums that, when administered, would imbue the recipient with immense strength, speed, and senses. But, there were variations, both in the formula of the serum, and in the effects of the body. Some of the subjects survived but took on qualities from other animals. This is where shape shifters and werewolves derived from. But, most feared by their own creators were the Utukku. After the serum was administered to them, they would writhe in pain for days, yelling, screaming, pulling out their own hair, scratching out their eyes. In the end, their heart stopped, and then they thrived. Their skin was like stone, and they could race the wind itself. Some developed talents even the Sumerians could not explain. Further, the serum they administered became self-perpetuating in the body, replacing all fluids with itself, like a virus. But viruses need blood to survive. When these creatures body's turned on themselves and devoured the Utukku's blood, the Utukku fed from the blood of men. Worse, the effects of the drink proved transferrable. That was, an infected subject could pass along the symptoms to another through biting, if the victim survived. In time, the Sumerians grew frightened of their own creations. Their use as warriors proved impossible. They posed as much treat to Sumerians as they did to their enemies. They decided they must destroy them."

"Like Frankenstein and his monster," Carlisle commented.

"Precisely," I returned. "Well, deciding to destroy them, and actually doing it were two different tasks all together. The creatures –shall we call them vampires from this point?- seemed immune from all traditional weapons. And how did you kill a creature that by any rational measures was already dead? Like so many others, the Sumerians decided the solution was to 'build a bigger bomb.' But, not willing to sacrifice any more of their own people to the new serum's effects, they took captives from the nomadic people of the Caucus steppe."

After so many years, I could still hear the pounding of hooves in my memories, and smell the foul stench of the Sumerian soldier who grabbed me, dragging me by my hair and tying me to a captive tow line. The echoes of my children's screams still rung in my ears as their tiny, slit throats bled life. Instinctively, I cupped my wrist, remembering how the rope had gnawed away my flesh as they lead us on a four day march to Urruk. The salty taste of endless tears still lingered on my tongue.

"Mother?"

I snapped out of my reverie, saw Mathias's concerned glance, and felt his hand placed comfortingly on my knee.

I swallowed down the recollection and continued.

"It was my twenty-sixth summer when they harvested my tribe. They used us, as the modern saying goes, as guinea pigs, trying different variants of their modified serum to produce a solution to their self-made problem. Thirty-five of us had been seized; only I survived the serum. After its effects transformed me, I was nearly as strong as the vampires. I could hear, see, smell nearly as well as them, but my body did not turn on itself. And most importantly, as the Sumers had hoped, the serum rendered me poisonous to the vampires. My mind, however, evolved more slowly. My captors used my disorientation to their advantage, leading me to think the vampires were my enemy. They administered the same variant of the serum to create an army of three thousand anucktumai. They trained us in arms, warfare, and combat, and sent us to destroy the vampires."

Rose crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, we've never heard of anucktumai before now, and we're obviously here, so I can only guess how that went."

I nodded. "Indeed, our first efforts failed miserably. While we could hold our own in battle, we could not destroy them. The only gain we made was by sacrificing our lives, poisoning the vampire who tried to drink our blood. Of course, as soon as the vampires realized that we were deadly in that way, they retreated. Those of us unwilling to die in the Sumerian's war refused to pursue them any further. The vampires dispersed into the world unopposed. Certainly, the Sumerians tried other tactics. Only the werewolves proved strong enough and willing to destroy them, but they were no more easily commanded than the Vampires had been, and they developed a taste for anucktumai blood as well, and it turned out we weren't poisonous to them. We could not self-perpetuate. It only took a few decades for us to be eradicated."

"Then, how did you survive?" Esme asked.

"I ran until I could run now more," I answered simply. "South, then north, then back. I roamed the desert or stayed on the edge of civilization for hundreds of years. The passage of time brought no changes to my body. Because of my speed, I could run down any animal, so I fed often. The local people began to refer to me as the Lion Woman because of my hunting prowess. I would have survived this way eternally, but stories about a lion woman are hard to suppress. Menes was convinced to capture me and use me as a soldier and protector in his war to unite Egypt, and his guards of the temple were sent to find me. "

"Guards of the temple?" Edward asked. He was seeing the visions passing through my head, no doubt, as I recalled their pale, stone-hard faces and ferocious blood red eyes.. "They were vampires."

"A coven of five who had found a way to coexist with humans by allowing themselves to be called Gods. They had ruled parts of Egypt, but grew tired of the sedentary life it demanded. They had decided to turn all control and titles of divinity over to Menes, but wanted to leave him a protector. They sought me out, intending to cross me over if rumors of my speed and longevity proved true. Nearly 500 years had passed since I fled Sumer, and they did not recognize me for what I was. They were very kind to me, but refused to believe my warnings about my toxicity. When alas Horus did bite me, what happened was beyond what even I predicted. He died, but I survived. What I became, though, was something between what they were and what I had been, and something a little more. I had a talent, as you say. I could pull back the venom, control its effects over me. To say it like that makes it sound like it was something I realized all at once. But it wasn't. It took months to master the balance. And the whole time I was learning, my body and my mind were in a constant state of flux between two hungers, to kill and to die. My thirst was unquenchable. I killed and drank ruthlessly, thousands of lives lost to me. And, when at last I could kill no more, I was so disgusted at my actions that I threw myself to the sea, and let myself drift on the ocean tides for nearly 8 years. Eventually, however, I returned to Egypt. I became what Menes's guardians desire. I became the protector of the house of Pharaoh."

Carlisle ran a hand over his face, as if the clear away something. "I thought you were only a legend, but I guess even some of the stories vampires hold as legends are true."

I was amazed at how quickly he put it together, even laying it bare as I had. The others were slower, and donned muddled masks. Except Edward, who of course could read Carlisle's thoughts.

"Don't you see?" Edward said, looking around to his confused family. "She's Sekhmet."


	17. Truth will out

[Renesmee]

"That's not possible."

Rosalie had summed up so what they all so clearly were thinking. All except Bella and I. I could see by her similarly blank expression.

"The Lady of the Flame?" Jasper queried. He looked almost intoxicated. Star struck even.

"In the flesh," Moira replied. Her tone demurred, as if she feigned humility.

This title didn't bring me any closer to the wonder they all displayed. There was no obvious connection: So, she was another type of mythic creature who suddenly wasn't so mythic after all. What did that have to do with me?

Carlisle, in the meantime, couldn't suppress his inner doctor. "So many questions. First, how do you control the venom? Does it still cause you great pain? How are you able to make the transformation so quickly? What do you eat?"

Moira held up her hands, begging patience. "I'll be happy to answer every question you have, insomuch so as it is possible for me to do so. But I would guess by their expressions that Bella and Ren aren't quite up to speed."

"No, I'm not," Bella admitted begrudgingly. "I mean, I know vampires are immortal, just like these anucktumai seem to be. But I never made a connection between ancient deities and vampires. I find myself replaying every tale of mythology I ever read. I have to admit- not really my favorite subject."

"Ah, that is my fault," Edward stated. He bit his lip as he looked at Bella and I. His posture had relaxed so since last night, I found him a nearly transformed being. How had he come to be so comfortable with Moira when last night he had been ready to attack her? "I thought they were just vampire folktales, like our equivalent of fables. You have to remember, when I was turned, and even later when Rosalie was, it was the height of popular Egyptology. I never thought the fable of Sekhmet was anything more than propaganda about the dangers of… _overindulgence._ "

Rosalie's veil of inconclusive judgment of Moira had definitely lifted, as well. She seemed almost giddy.

"You were my inspiration," she said like a teenage fan addressing the author of some sappy romance. "When I went after the men who attacked me, I kept thinking, 'if I lose control and take the blood of one of them, I'll end up just like Sekhmet.'"

"I'm not certain how to respond to that," Moira muttered.

Rosalie shrank back. "Your story helped me believe I could restrain myself in a time where I was most tempted. I am complimenting you," she defensively commented.

"We all learned from your story," Carlisle added, trying to assuage the discomfort we all felt on Rosalie's behalf. "When Aro told me the legend of Sekhmet, I felt justified in the decisions I had made to not take human life."

"I am humbled, of course, by your sincerity," Moira returned. "But I'm owed no praise. In thousands of years, I've claimed more lives than all of you put together."

"But you've overcome all that so long ago," Mathias reassured her with a tender smile.

Seeing Mathias and Moira reminded me so much of Bella and Renee. There was a good deal of role reversal: Renee so often being chastised by Bella for yet another careless decision or ill-conceived venture. Not that Moira seemed reckless. Only, she had certainly never rectified the conflict of bloodlust and compassion that so evident in her face. Mathias was determined not to let her humanity be lost in the recollection of her own guilt.

"As always, _dusho moja,_ you give me far more credit than I am due." She crossed to him as he sat next to me, and leaned his head into her embrace, placing a kiss on the crown of his scalp.

"That sounds familiar," Jasper grumbled, giving a passing sideways glance at Edward and Bella.

But my patience had grown thin. How much longer was she going to ramble on?

"Are you planning on telling me what this all has to do with me?" I burst out. The whole lot of them snapped their heads in my direction. "You were genetically engineered to be a suicide bomb. I am not. I am unique, perhaps, but I am not like you."

Edward shot me daggers for my rudeness, but Moira didn't hesitate to address me.

"To some degree, you are right. I'm not implying at all that we are exactly the same. Even when I pull back the venom, I am still vampire on some level, but I haven't been human for five thousand years. You are human and vampire, but in many ways you are like me. I would not have made the connection either, had it not been for Dredrui and Cúchulainn."

"Who?" I asked. This was getting to be as bad as sitting in history class.

"Cuchulainn and Deirdre of the Sorrows, dear." As if that meant anything. I looked around wondering if any of the others knew what she was talking about. Even my cerebral father seemed thrown for a loop. Moira groaned. "Seriously, have none of you ever studied any mythology at all? The state of our educational system must be worse than I thought."

"We _live_ mythology," Emmett retorted. Of course, out of experience, he would be the most quickly defensive regarding any question of his intelligence or education.

"They were the first hybrids I became aware of; twins none the less. Their father had been a nomad who had fallen in love with the daughter of an Irish chieftain. I recognized them at once as something more than human. I was amazed to learn that though they appeared to be fully grown, they had only been alive for ten years. The mother died in child birth, of course, so the vampire father had raised them. The children were ashamed of their thirst, and took out their bloodlust on animals for many years. Humans were always a temptation of course, and sometimes they would slip. The father had figured out the while his son was venomous, the daughter was not. At some point, he'd decided they were grown enough, and abandoned them."

Moira grew silent for a moment, staring off into space. She slowly paced across the room, and stared at longingly at one of the mosaics on the far wall: the scene depicted a beautiful Roman goddess being placated by a soldier on bended knee with gifts of gold and silver. Even in the mosaic, it was clear the goddess was overwhelmed with delight, and the suitor unsure in the unease of knowing whether or not he had stolen her heart.

Mathias leaned over to me and whispered in my ear. He must have understood that we would all be able to hear it no matter how softly he spoke. But, he seemed keen not to let another opportunity to bring himself close to me past.

"Happens a lot when she talks about her past," he muttered. "Her memories are so vivid, she becomes lost in them sometimes."

"Edward," Carlisle whispered just as softly. "What's she thinking?"

"She's thinking of … Sorin?" he said, unsure. The word must have registered a more certain memory with Moira, for he added a moment later, "Her mate."

I remembered our first conversation that day at Bridgeport, and heard the echo of memory: " _I'm a widow, of sorts…."_

"Your family reminds me so much of my own," she resumed, turning back towards us and strolling back to her place on the chaise. "Deirdre, Cuchulainn and I became a coven. I told myself, they would serve in place of those who had been taken from me so many years before. We left Ireland, and lived together in a little stone cottage high in the Carpathian Mountains. We did not know of the Dracu coven, nor that would they see us as a threat. When they found out about us, three hybrids, existing off animal blood, they decided we were too much an unknown quantity to leave unchecked. They sent Sorin, one of their most trusted guards, as a spy. I had heard stories from other vampires: some sort of spark that you feel the moment you first lay eyes on your mate. I had always dismissed it as romantic hodgepodge. But, when Sorin and I met, there's nothing I could do to stop- I loved him from the moment I tasted his scent approaching me on the wind. We were a family- a very happy family for some years. But the Dracu refused to let Sorin go so easily. And when they learned of my 'talent,' they wanted us both."

"Whoa, wait just a minute," Bella demanded. "The _Dracu?_ The Romanian coven?"

"Yes, Vladimir's and Stefan's," Carlisle answered.

I shuddered. In a flinching moment of fear and disgust, I instinctively placed my hand on top of Mathias's. The image of the Vladimir talking coaxingly to me all those years ago in Forks came rushing into view. I heard Mathias' throat catch as the imagery passing from me to him. Bella shot me a disapproving look, as though I was a child caught chewing on my fingernails again. I lifted my hand and the connection broke.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"Well, that was…interesting," he muttered. I grinned in embarrassment. "Wow. Is that going to happen every time you touch me?"

I wondered if Mathias's ear were sensitive enough to pick up the low-register growls being flung at him from at least four different directions.

"All seventeen of them descended on us. We didn't stand a chance, so severely out numbered. Cuchulainn was the first destroyed. The only consolation for Deirdre's death was that her blood was poison to her assailant, so that he died, too. It was years before I figure out why, though. Not until I saw the same scene repeated in 1536 in Romani, and 1847 in San Francisco, did I understand. It was then I put it together. There's something about the male chromosomes in development that makes the vampire chromosomes form a much closer bond in the body. Enough so that they are venomous. However, the female chromosome in develop recognizes the venom as a pathogen, but it cannot destroy it. Instead, it develops as antibody to weaken the bond. When this antibody matures, around the time the hybrid stops growing, it recedes into the body, bonds with it, making the female hybrid's blood an antivenom."

"So Nessie only now is becoming poisonous?" Carlisle concluded. Moira nodded.

"Her development in seven years is a little faster than I would have expected," Moira admitted.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Mathias's checks flush red, and heard him clear his throat.

 _Ah,_ he _didn't know old I am. Yes, Mr. Dragonovitch, you'd be robbing the cradle._

"How did you and Sorin escape?" Jasper asked hesitantly. The implied question was actually, how did he die and how did you not?

"My 'talent' provides me with an extremely crafty self-defense mechanism that is nearly impossible to breach by a vampire or two. Sixteen on the other hand was too many to handle. Sorin had always postulated, however, that if I was in a situation where I was overwhelmed, an injection of venom would temporarily strengthen my defenses." She paused, swallowing back a tear. "He was always the 'better to ask forgiveness than permission' type. He bit me, exposing me to his venom. His theory proved true. The extra venom racing in my system was enough to give me cover to escape. One mercy is that the Dracu killed him before the pain of the antivenom could do him in."

Bella found herself nearly shaking. She had experienced the loss of a loved one so recently, and the pain of it was still fresh in her mind.

"But how? How could you go on? Without him?" she whimpered. "I don't understand. I've always known, if ever I lost Edward, or Renesmee…." She broke off, unable to comprehend the possibility.

"Bella, dear. He knowingly gave his life to give me a chance to survive," she said sweetly. "Are you suggesting I should have balled up and stopped living? Or thrown myself to the Dracu? He sacrificed the only thing he had left: his existence, in lieu of mine. How could I deny him that sacrifice?"


	18. Bold

One day had passed since our visit to Moira's house. One day had passed since I learned that I was deadly to every member of my family.

"Renesmee, nothing would will ever happen for that to be an issue," Bella tried to reassure me as I lay in my bed, crying. "No one in this family is every going to hurt you."

"Accidents happen," I muttered. "Cars crash. Objects fall from the sky. People get… shot."

I swallowed back my tears even harder as I recalled Charlie lying on the ground, his life draining from the wounds and my temptation. My love had barely been enough to stop me. When so many people lived together for so long, tempers occasionally flared. It would only take a moment of haste to end the life of someone I loved.

"Even friends could turn on us, with this kind of knowledge. We don't know the future, not really. Alice can't see mine the way she sees yours," I continued, determined to press my point. "She can't protect me from chance. And if ever any vampire were to attack me, I probably couldn't over power them. We both know that I'm not as strong as you and Dad."

"Maybe not in body," Bella admitted, stroking my hair as I buried my head back into my pillow, "but in matters of the heart, you have always put me to shame. You have never been and will never be a danger to us, and we will never be a danger to you. And as for everything else, we are more than capable of dealing with _anything_ that comes our way."

Memories of my youth still haunted my dreams sometime. The recollection of a standoff on a frozen plane, of the Volturi and their demands. I had felt responsible for that as well: my mere existence had prompted an army of ancient vampires to travel half way across the globe, most of them intending to either kill me or capture me. That was before they knew the danger I really was. And really, this had happened before. Hybrids were born. We were rare, but we were _real._ Moira's comments had not slipped past my attention, nor Edward's ever-observant ear:

"You heard what she said: 'Not until I saw the same scene repeated in 1536 in Romani, and 1847 in San Francisco'," he quoted her verbatim. "There have been at least two other female hybrids that somebody thought were enough of a threat to take out, and Moira just happened to be there when they were."

"Are you implying that you believe she had something to do with their deaths?" Carlisle hesitantly asked. "If all she wanted was Nessie dead, she's had ample opportunity to make that happen."

Edward paused, a slightly defeated look overcoming his face. "She did not kill them. Memories, though brief, flashed through her mind when she mentioned them. Both times, she had tried to protect them, but couldn't. She was too conflicted herself, when she smelled their blood. She had to 'shut down' to keep from joining the melee. Her whole existence is bathed in oceans of grief and guilt."

"That may be true," Jasper interrupted. "I could feel that too as she told her story. But, there's something there too that you should not dismiss so simply. Something, I daresay, that is new to her."

"And what is that?" Rosalie beseeched.

"I guess to lack of better word… hope."

Esme smiled. "Of course she has hope, it's all she has left."

I looked up at her. "How are you interpreting all this?" I asked with intense interest.

"None of you can understand what it is like to lose a child," she explained almost bitterly. "Moira lost hers twice. A mother's only purpose is to protect and ensure her child's future. She failed, but she's trying to make up for it. She became a teacher, for god's sake. Seriously- from Egyptian goddess to high school history? Even that little role she allows herself is a chance to save the children in her eyes. And now, with Mathias... He's a good boy. Perhaps a little full of himself, but what good looking teenage boy isn't? At last, she's keeping her child safe. It fills her with hope. She almost drowns in it. Finally, her life has purpose."

Such long speeches from Esme were rare, but always impactful. I knew she was right. I turned towards Edward and Jasper. Although unable to cry, they were visually moved- and Jasper ever so much more. I hesitated a second, thinking out my next question. They were worried, I knew, that these revelations of Moira's would send me into another emotional shock. I may be distraught, but I was no longer overwhelmed. Perhaps they underestimated me.

The fog had reappeared during the early morning hours, and it was nearly time to leave for school. I asked Edward my question mentally, not wanting to so quickly break away from Esme's side.

"Of course," he answered immediately. "One of us could stay with you, if you want."

"No," I quickly answered. " _I'm just going to sleep anyways._ Jasper, tell Moira that I'm fine and I'll hand in my paper tomorrow. She'll worry about me, no doubt."

"I think she'll cut you a little slack on the paper," Jasper chuckled. "After all, she did just reveal a life-altering truth that rerouted the whole course of your entire existence. A report on the impact of aqueducts to urban sprawl seems petty by comparison."

They left for school a few minutes later, and after them, Carlisle left for his shift at the hospital two towns over. Sleep I did, and fully, sinking into my blankets as though they would shield me from the perplexity my life had taken on. I awoke slightly pass one to find the house quiet. Esme had gone out somewhere as well- down to the Lock perhaps? She had been taking some painting classes at a gallery, and said the previous day she needed more supplies.

The murmur of the mail truck rumbled through the house as I stepped out of the shower. I threw on some jeans and sweater, and walked up the drive to collect the bills. With Alice's shopping habits and all our car payments, all we ever had were bills. But today there was something else as well. My heart fluttered when I saw a letter from Jacob. I sprinted back to the house, and 20 seconds later sat on my bed, ripping open the envelope.

" _N-_

 _The trial starts in just a few days now. I guess the Forks Tribune will be covering it. Big story in sleepy little Forks, of course. As far as they know, this is the most significant event in a generation. You could probably get the updates online. My lawyer is being very helpful in preparing me. Tell everyone I said hi, especially E. and B._

 _-Take care, J."_

"That's it?" I shouted. My voice bounced off the walls of my tower bedroom. I happily reflected of a rare occasion of being home alone. His letter was so brief, so clinical, so dry. "Jacob, why did you even bother to write?"

Well, two can play at that game. If he wants to throw everything in reverse, I am certainly up to the task of feigned propriety. I took out a sheet of linen paper and my black-ink fountain pen.

" _Mr. Black-_

 _I received your letter dated 19 October. Yes, the Forks Tribune publishes court briefs on your case, which I will dutifully follow. Chief Swan is extremely missed, and therefore there is interest in the trial. E. and B. will receive your greetings shortly._

 _Cordially, Ms. R.C.C."_

"So there," I remarked as I folded the paper neatly and stuffed in an envelope. I pressed the seal and addressed it before I could give myself a chance to reconsider the brevity and impersonal tone. But it was too late, by the time I was licking the stamp I already felt a pang of guilt in my chest. I quickly grabbed the pen and scratched on the backside of the envelope "To my beloved… Tell me you love me."

But still, I was perplexed. _Jacob wouldn't just write a meaningless letter out of the blue. What did I write in my last letter? Was there anything I said that had upset him? Is he mad at me?_

I was accustomed to micro analyzing everything from Jacob: the way he crossed his t's and dotted his I's, if he had addressed his tome "Nessie" or "Renesmee". Never "Ren." I had convinced myself that I would see hidden kisses in the loops of his l's, if I looked hard enough. I knew our correspondence was being monitored in and out of the prison, but I couldn't see what harm of being a little tender was, or what purpose lay behind his letter at all.

Maybe he realized he didn't love me after all? Maybe he'd finally gotten tired of sitting in jail for something I'd triggered. Maybe he'd grown to hate me.

"That hardly seems possible," Edward said.

I nearly tackled him, so startled was I that reacting defensively was instinctive. I sprung on him like prey. I got close, but Edward caught me out of the air before I could land. Which just made me feel foolish.

"What was _that_?" he laughed.

"You frightened me," I answered curtly as he sat me down like a floor lamp on the ground. "I didn't hear you come in. Sorry."

"Is that the best tackle you can make?" he said, amused. "Maybe you're old enough for Emmett and Jasper to teach you some better defensive techniques. You wouldn't be able to take out the Volturi's secretary with a tackle like that."

He had said it as a joke, but I was in no mood.

"I can too tackle! I just- I only didn't…. What do you want?"

He shot me a scrutinizing look through those stern but compassionate amber eyes. "Alice is going into the city to get some supplies for the ball," and the last word rolled off his tongue with extra emphasis, indicating how disdainful he was in the concept. "She wondered if you're up joining her?"

"Where's mom?" I asked.

"Detention," he said amusingly. "Nothing physical. A couple of threatening stares from a good ten foot distance. But the language involved was hardly lady like."

I looked at him perplexed.

"One of the Bridgeport beauty queens asked me to ball," he laughed. "Seems though everyone knows we're a couple, Alexis Winger didn't have qualms about making a play for me anyways. I didn't think your mother was the overly aggressive jealous type. That's usually me. So… Alice?"

"Um, yeah, I guess," I answered, pushing Jacob's letter and my response into a small purse I carried on Alice-sponsored occasions. The thought of my mother attacking one of the beauty queens seemed out of character. Maybe she was still thrown off by the events of the last few days. "Where is she?"

"She's gone to pick up Matthias. She'll swing back through in a second."

I cringed. "You didn't mention that part."

"Alice doesn't know all the specifics of the ball, or of the house itself to plan it without him. Moira, of course, is busy grading aqueduct reports, and also said she need to catch up on the sleep she lost last night," he smiled at me knowingly. _So, she does sleep. Of course, she had that big, comfy bed, and no mate, so what else would she be doing with it?_ "Don't worry, I gave Mathias a pretty good fright. He understands how close I was to ripping his throat out. If Moira hadn't had been there, I might have. He has certain thoughts about you with which I am not entirely comfortable, but he is _trying_ to control them. In any case, I think his actions will be tempered, even if his mind occasional gets away from him. And Alice will be chaperoning. Just promise me…."

"Yes?" I asked as he hesitated.

He was debating the right words. "Don't be a pushover with him. I know, you're not that kind of girl, but he can be… very persuasive."

I cast him a sideways glance. "Do you think I would give into an unwelcomed request so easily?"

"I'm just making sure to go over all the things-to-tell-your-daughter-when-sending-her-off-on-an-errand-with-a-teenage-boy check list," Edward smiled. "Charlie taught me it well. There's Alice at the gate. Have fun."

I slung my bag over my shoulder and ripped down the stairs and out the door, narrowly avoiding Emmett as he ran up the stairs opposite me. The Hummer sat on the other side of the gate, Alice and Jasper in the front, while Mathias sat like a six-year-old being punished solitary in the third row seat. He was mumbling something, and at this close distance it wasn't hard to read his lips as he asked Alice to open the gate for me. _Huh, human._ In a gingerly leap I bounced over it like jumping a rope on the playground.

"Honestly, I would think you of people would know better what to expect from one of _us,"_ I scoffed as I sat next to him in the third row. "That's like asking if I should remove the carpet from the floor so you won't trip over it."

"My apologies, mademoiselle," he smiled. "I would not dream of insulting your pride."

"I think, monsieur, that it would be inappropriate for you to dream of me at all."

We were already at the far curve in the road at the end of the lake. Jasper took the turn extra hard and fast, forcing silly me without a seat belt to go flying to Mathias's arms. He took me into his chest and held me until the wavering of the car ceased. I could have pulled away simply enough, but he smelled so divine. Surely it wouldn't hurt to linger for a moment and take in his scent fully. But then he took it too far, wrapping me more tightly than needed to just steady me. I looked up at him, his blue eyes burrowing into mine. I ripped away from his embrace with vampire speed, leaving him confused in the wake.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, trying to put his hand comfortingly on my arm.

"Of course, I'm almost indestructible. Please, don't touch me." I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and noticing him shifting his weight around unusually. "Did I … _hurt_ you?"

"A bit," he admitted, smiling dismissively as I tried to force an apology. "Don't worry, nothing too bad. No need to apologize. Besides, it was your uncle's fault."

And for the tiniest second, I felt a kind sympathetic pang.

"I'll thank him for the opportunity later," Mathias answered.

And there it went.

Mathias could not suppress his wicked smile at having exploited another opportunity to touch me. He really was quite annoying in this game of his. I wondered if he might like to feel the sensation of my teeth ripping into his flesh.

Silence filled the cabin as the twenty minutes into passed us into Calais. I kept my focus out of the window, Alice and Jasper sat in their usual quiet repose, the only movement those necessary for Jasper to steer the car. Parking proved to be a problem, with the oversized Hummer not easily ported in the slim parking spaces of the shopping center. Finally, Jasper decided to swallow the ticket and double park.

Alice led us inside before handing me and Jasper slips of paper, each a detailed assignment list of what were to collect.

"Okay, we'll meet back here in two hours. Remember- Halloween. Boo ball. Scary. Creepy. It's going to one time we get to frighten all the humans on purpose," Alice instructed. "Nessie, you're going to find the third thing in the store across from the nail salon- are you okay with going in there?"

"It's fine, Alice, " I answered as I glanced at my list to see what she referring to. "Studded leather bustier?"

"Oh, yes, two of them please," she confirmed.

I rolled my eyes. But I expected such things of Alice anymore. "What size? You don't say here."

"Well, Esme is a size 6, and don't worry, the color you pick is going to be perfect," she smiled. "I can see her in it now. Don't look at me like that, Nessie. The bustier is not going to be exposed. But all Halloween costumes these days seem to be on the overly sexy side. And I figure, Esme could use it as an excuse to come out of her shell a little."

"Okay, and the other one?"

She eyed my chest and midsection. "What are you now, about a 4?"

I shook my head fervently. "Oh, no you don't. If you think Edward is going to let me walk into a room of partying, hormone-driven high school boys in a leather bustier, you must be suicidal."

"Easy Ness-Ness," Alice cooed. "It's not for you, it's for Bella. I was just thinking that you look so much like her now, so if you modeled it, I might get an idea of whether or not Edward would like it."

"Okay, I'm going to leave now." I turned and started walking, Mathias followed behind me. About twenty feet later, I added softly. "And you can forget your bustier scheme. You think I wouldn't see through that? What is with you?"

"Talking to Alice, right?" Mathias asked as he shuffled quickly along, trying to keep up with my interpretation of a human mall walker. "Or are you accusing me of trying to get you into lingerie?"

Alice laughed, now some 50 feet away. I knew she had planned it out so well: _Mathias come shopping with me, I need your help. Mathias, go with Nessie with this list and help her pick out things. Mathias, watch Nessie try on lingerie. Nessie, watch Mathias watch you try on lingerie and try to resist the hunger in his blue eyes._

I may be the youngest Cullen, but I still wasn't born yesterday.

Ignoring his eyes was hard enough as it was.

"Alice," I answered him finally. "She's trying really hard to get me to take an interest in you. What does she see in you?"

"A better question is, what don't you?" he sincerely asked. "Have I ever been rude to you? Or anything less than romantic and brazen? I thought that would impress someone of your background."

His words were carefully chosen so stray ears would not learn something they shouldn't. Translation: from a family of vampires. Fine, if he wanted to have a blunt conversation, I was up to the challenge.

"Mostly what impresses me about you, and not in a good way I'll add, is how overly presumptive you can be," I answered as we dove into a craft store, seeking out at least ten of the items on our list. I grabbed a shopping cart and began stuffing it with a dozen tubs of green slime. "Let's not make this about me. I'm not pursuing you at all. You're the one who is coming after me."

"I'm just following fate's guiding hand," he returned, pushing the cart next to me. "Come on, don't you think Moira's point was right on? What's the chances that a family like yours moves right next door to a family like mine. And then, everything else just flows from there. Fate, love, fate."

"I make my own destiny." I did a quick sweep around to make sure no one was standing within earshot. "I'll grant you that it's odd. But did you know Alice sees the future? Except she only sees the future based on what people decide from moment to moment. The future changes. That blows your whole destiny argument right out the window. We have empirical proof that fate is a fallacy."

He tossed several bags of assorted sized Styrofoam balls into the cart. "There's no argument against destiny. Even if you tell me that you don't believe in destiny, I'll just respond that it was your destiny not to believe in destiny."

"I don't like circular arguments. But let's say for a moment that I were to entertain your theory. Fate is real. We're not really a compatible couple. If I ever got too close to you…" Suddenly, the image of being _too close_ to Mathias rampaged my brain. I pictured myself wrapped in his arms, his lips pressing against mine. My breath caught. I'd only hope the pause in my comments was too brief for him to notice."I'd probably lose control and kill you. Your lady fate would only be setting you up for certain death."

"To die for love, how noble," he mused. "Are you telling me this whole killing your beloved dilemma is not a problem when you get 'too close' with your long distance relationship?"

My chest tensed as I recalled Jacob, and the brusque note needing to be mailed in my bag. No, this had not been a problem with Jacob, because I had never had the opportunity to throw myself at him.

"Jacob is a little stronger than you," I shot back. "He's special. Special in a way that would make it difficult for me to hurt him. Besides, how are you so convinced that I'm your destiny? We barely know each other."

"Oh, that's simple," he smiled, turning towards me and stroking the side of my face. I felt a flush of heat fill my face and my breath catch in the back of my throat. His eyes had taken me prisoner again. "You have my mother's eyes. She promised me you would."

Even though we were standing in the middle of a craft store, in front of the checkout register with an impatient middle aged clerk scanning our items, I felt unable to break his gaze. My lips quivered as I looked at his longingly. I had never felt such a wave of desire for something other than blood. Now, I hungered for skin.

"Not here," he whispered, leaning in his temple to mine and closing his eyes. Free of them, a found the power to pull back a bit at last. When I had gotten so close to him, mere inches from him? How had I not noticed.

We both came to our senses and I presented a credit card to the clerk for payment. We left the first packages with the center concierge, and continued down the alley. An overly sweet smell drifted on the breeze, and Mathias's took my arm and led me into a shop in a hidden alcove.

"I still owe you ice cream," he smiled, remembering the offer he had made me the very first day. "Miss- two single scoops of cherry."

I looked at him dumbfounded and perplexed. How clever of him, though, to order something that would reemphasize his own scent to me. He was craftier than I gave him credit for.

"I don't eat ice cream."

"Technically, this isn't ice cream," Mathias assured me, pulling a few crumpled bills from his pocket and handing them to the shop girl. "It's gelato, much better than ice cream."

He led me back out and around the alcove's corner to a small, lonely outdoors sitting area built to resemble an Italian piazza. We both took a set on the rim of a central fountain's basin. He handed me a small cup of pink goo with a tiny spoon sticking up from it.

"I won't take it personally if you don't like it."

Gingerly, I took the little spoon to my mouth and licked off a sample taste. Then another. Then another.

I froze in place, focusing on the sting of sweet, chilled cherries on the back of my throat.

"This is really good."

Mathias remained silent and allowed me to gulp down the gelato in a very unladylike fashion. Perhaps he was too accustomed to the way vampires approached their food ravenously to be surprised. I reflected on that for a moment: He was far too comfortable with vampire behavior for his own good. It would get him killed one day.

I looked at this boy- this man, and wondered still how all this had come to pass. Since we were still alone, I decided to take a chance to ask him.

"What I still don't get is, what do you have to do with all of this? How is it that a simple Serbian boy gets adopted by a half-vampire, half-anucktumai Egyptian goddess?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you," Mathias grinned. I arched my eyebrow skeptically. "No, really. Moira forbade it. I mind my mother well. She looks all mellow and sweet, but she's not someone you want upset with you."

I knew the feeling. Mathias had been right after all. We were a lot alike, and I found I could identify too much with him. Still, his secrecy was frustrating. I wished at once that _I_ could read his mind the way that Edward could.

"But you would tell me if you could?" I asked softly, finishing off my gelato and setting the cup aside. The tart taste still danced on my tongue, heightening the sensation of Mathias's scent to my senses.

His azure eyes found me with an unanticipated gaze of sincerity and depth. "There's so much I would tell you, Ren."

I felt an electric chill run up my spine as his fingers traced the backside of my hand. He was moving closer to me. He was going to try to kiss me again, while we had stolen a few precious moments away from the tracking eyes of our elders and observers. This was wrong. So wrong. I knew I loved Jacob. I wanted Jacob to the first one I ever shared a kiss with. But Mathias was so close, and his scent so irresistible….

His lips found mine, and I was lost. I moved closer to him against my own will. His arms circled around me and pulled me even closer. He tasted a hundred times better than the gelato. My hands brushed through his black hair, and I had to tell myself three times over not to apply any pressure lest I should crush him. He pulled his lips away from mine and looked at me in confusion.

"You did that of your own free will?" he whispered, gently kissing my chin.

"I suppose I did," I admitted as much to myself as to him. I began to break from embrace a pull away, waves of guilt already coming over me. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, though. It won't happen again."

To reemphasize my point, I scooted away from him. He just sighed and stood.

"It will, and you know it. Face it, Ren, you like me. Someday, you're going to love me."

And just like that, I hated him again. Oh, but he was so sure of himself.

"It won't, and I won't," I retorted. "I love Jacob Black. You're just a tempting meal that I sampled."

"Let's agree to disagree on that." He flashed me with that nearly destructive gaze of his again. "It's fate."

"I already told you, I don't believe in fate."

He smiled wistfully. "I believe enough for the two of us."


	19. Mea Culpa

"I AM NOT WEARING A TUTU!"

That was probably that last thing I'd ever expect to hear my father say. I put down my hairbrush and leapt to the door. Whether he won the argument or not, how could I pass this by?

"If you don't, Bella's just going to look silly dressed up as the nutcracker prince," Alice returned.

"Alice," Esme interrupted. "Dear, I know you mean well, but… I can't wear this, not in public."

I reached the sitting room to find Alice perched over a mess of boxes, dragging out shiny piece after shiny piece of cloth and distributing it around the room.

"Esme, you're nineteenth century sensibilities are really dragging on my twenty-first century fashion mojo. You'll make a great go-go girl," Alice complained. Her face lit up when she saw me. "Ah, Renesmee, I got something extra special for you."

A moment later, a dark patterned, multi-layer skirt and a lacy, off-shoulder top were being tossed at me.

I held the costume up to my frame and examined it closely. "A gypsy?"

"Interpret it either way you want: Esmeralda or Carmen."

"So, either way I'm dead at the end of the night," I surmised.

"Yeah, but get to decide if it's by hanging or murder," she quipped. "Personally, I see you as more the Carmen type."

"Okay," I agreed. "Murder it is."

"I don't mind being the nutcracker prince," Edward suggested. "Bella would be a beautiful Sugar Plum fairy."

His eyes went glossy as he looked at her. His imagination was running away with him no doubt.

"What are you dressing as, Alice?" I asked. "I hope it's something just as scandalous. Don't dish it out to us if you can't take it."

Alice dove into the largest box and emerged with a hoop skirt in her right hand and the biggest green dress I had ever seen for such a tiny person in her left hand.

She drew her voice up a very authentic imitation of a southern belle, batting her eyelashes wildly. "I'm going as Scarlett."

Jasper hung his head in desperation. "I guess that makes me Ashley, the emotional-conflicted civil war soldier. This is hardly amusing, woman."

"Oh, no, you're going to be Brett Butler. I'd never have wishy-washy Ashley. Besides, when we get back home, we're going to reenact the staircase scene."

"Staircase scene?" I asked. I'd never had the patience to set aside four whole hours to watch the epic film. Plus, Vivienne Leigh's forced southern belle grated my nerves. "What's the staircase scene?"

Edward went about pulling things from boxes just as quickly as possible to distract them from answering my question. "So, what are you dressing Emmett and Rosalie as?"

"Emmett's a hard one to figure out. At first, I thought Rambo. Then I didn't like the idea of him getting in the mindset of character who kills so many people," Alice said, scratching her chin. "But all the hulky alternatives I thought of had the same problem: death and violence: Rocky, the terminator, the Crow. Finally I found one that was right on. He's going to be a lion tamer."

Edward withdrew from another box what looked like the golden fur carcass of a dead animal and held it up to where we all could see it.

"And Rose is going to be the lion," Alice concluded.

"What about Carlisle?" Bella asked. "Is he going to be a plaid prince to match Esme?"

"How do you know about the 60s?" Edward said, looking to his wife. "Charlie and Renesee wouldn't even know about the 60's."

"Watched one too many Oliver Stone and Austin Powers films in my time," Bella answered. "Sincerely, Edward, do you think I'm oblivious to every cultural icon before 1995?"

"Actually, Carlisle agreed to work the night shift," Esme answered. She looked again at her white plastic mini skirt and matching platform, knee-high boots. "Won't he be sorry?"

We all turned when the noise reached our ear. The gate out at the road had opened, and the purr of a finely tuned engine was crawling up our drive way. All being accounted for, Emmett and Rose having taken the day off from school to go hunting 20 miles away, and Carlisle out at the hospital, we were all equally perplexed.

"Moira and Mathias," Edward informed us as the car just passed around the last bend in the drive that made it visible from the front porch. He was at the front bay window looking out. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Alice, look at this."

Alice rushed to the window and squealed with excitement. The next moment she was out the door. "Rosalie's going to be so peeved that she wasn't here!"

"What is it?" Bella asked, running outside after Alice. Edward must have slipped by with me seeing him. Jasper, Esme and I brought up the rear.

Pulling up to nearly our feet was the most beautiful, elegant car I had ever seen. It practically floated along the drive. Moira opened her door and emerged like an assassin in spy flick, clad in a leather jacket, dark sun glasses hiding the secrets of her eyes, hair swirling in the wind. Mathias's already tempting good looks became an accessory to the dark gray body of the frame.

"Is this the car you were on the phone arranging delivery for that night you invited us over?" Edward asked, his jaw nearly dropping all the way to Boston.

"Yes, I was working out final details for pickup with the Sheikh's secretary," she smiled, clearly pleased with the attention the car was getting. "I figured since Rose figured out how to get Frenchman's Fork paved, I could finally get something other than a clunky allwheel drive SUV. Though it won't be too much longer until the snows come, so this will be going into winter storage soon enough. I couldn't resist one trip to school, though."

"What is it?" Bella had never been interested in cars, but even this car she recognized as the piece of art that it was.

"Bugatti Veyron, my dear."

"Remember to breath, Edward," Bella teased.

"Moira, this car costs 1.6 million dollars, how can you get away with that?" Jasper asked.

This seemed a silly question to me. After all, while I was not privy to all of the family's financial holdings, we certainly weren't cash strapped. Alice's uncanny abilities made playing the stock market not so much a gamble as a steady income. Moira lived in a Victorian mansion filled with priceless antiques and artifacts. She spent her summers abroad in Italy and Egypt. She may not have the ability to see the future, but whatever she did to keep herself financial propped up worked well for her.

"I didn't pay a thing for it," she replied. "I bartered."

"Bartered? What could you possibly…" Edward paused. That blank passed over his face, the one he never thought we saw, though we certainly did, whenever he was intently working out the contents of someone's head. "Isn't that slightly dangerous?"

"Mr. Cullen, I have been successfully engaging in this field for over 75 years. I've gotten somewhat adept at _dangerous_."

"What are we missing?" Emse asked curiously.

"Moira's cash flow obviously doesn't come from her teacher's salary," Jasper concluded.

"Indeed, especially when black market sales are so lucrative," Edward added. "She's not an archaeologist; she's a tomb raider. She traded a tenth century Quran for that car."

"Yes, well I clearly got the better end of the deal," Moira mused. "Anyways… I'm sorry to drop by right before school like this, but, Alice wanted me to see me about the party?"

"Yeah, the fire pit!" she chirped. "It came in yesterday, but I wanted to double check that it's okay. It's down in the back garage."

Edward held out a hand to Moira to stop her from passing. His head held downward, he spoke hesitantly.

"Um, Moira, I don't suppose… That is, if you don't mind…." Edward glanced back and forth between the car and her face. She didn't hesitate to hand him the keys.

"Fifteen minutes, and stay away from the village, please," she called back as they led her back to our own garage full of sports cars not well suited for coastal Maine.

A pleased grin washed over Edward's face as he grabbed Bella by the hand and led her to the opened passenger door. Four and half seconds later, the Bugatti's engine revved as they barreled down the drive and out of sight.

I looked around. The others had all managed to disappear, leaving Mathias and I were alone.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he asked.

"Doesn't inviting a human into my home render me helpless against his powers?" I smiled. A smile I quickly regretted when he read too much into it.

"I'm counting on it," he grinned.

Several days had passed since my moment of weakness in his arms. We'd spoken since, but not about that. At Alice's urging, Matthias dared a seat at the Cullen table during lunch. Once everyone relaxed around him, he seemed to fit into our little group almost naturally. Perhaps because he managed to behave like a gentleman. He still made vague innuendo with me at every opportunity, but he never stepped over a line, vocally or mentally that I was aware of, to raise Edward's ire.

To my surprise, I realized that I honestly liked him. He was perhaps the only human I would ever meet who knew exactly what I was, and he accepted me for it. Still, I wasn't stupid. I promised myself that I would restrain what was a very obvious physical attraction for what could be a very real long term comradeship.

"Don't get any ideas," I hesitantly said, "but you can come up with me to my room. I have to grab my school bag."

Wordlessly, he followed me up to the tower where I sorted through the revisions of my papers from the night before, trying to find the copy of the literature report I had fine-tuned. Mathias made himself comfortable on the edge of my bed. He observed me closely as I moved left and right at an accelerated speed gathering as necessary, and taking in every aspect of my tower as I moved about. There wasn't much to it: a bed, a dresser, an overstuffed closet, a writing desk, and a book shelf that should have begged for mercy from its burden. I felt so relaxed knowing that he knew these movements of mine were more natural that my human façade. He was completely at ease with my being the dominant physical being in the room.

"So I take it you sleep?" he asked, looking over my bedspread covered in hand-stitched pink roses embroidered on a white cotton.

"You know that I do," I laughed, folding up my trig homework and stuffing in the book bind. "You were there when I woke up in Moira's bed. Hybrids sleep."

"Moira doesn't," Mathias informed me. I stole a perplexed look at him, and his gesture reassured me that he was sincere. "Not much, anyways. Only when she's been overwrought, like when she's had to de-vamp."

" _De-vamp_? Is that what she calls it?" I asked. He nodded. "Why? Is it that hard on her?"

"It almost kills her each time," he said. "Of course, it never really could kill her. She's learned to separate her mind from the pain. I guess that's why she's jealous of you a little. You never went through the pain of crossing. You don't have that trauma in your memory."

"I have others to compensate for it," I answered.

"Ah, you mean like the time you killed a man?"

He threw the words out so effortlessly, as though he were asking me about the time I stubbed my toe running down the stairs.

"Yes, like that," I snapped. "Have you no sense of decency, to throw that back my face like that?"

Mathias, dumbstruck, fumbled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you; I was just trying to … understand you better."

His brow furrowed as he lowered his gaze, making me feel badly for lashing out. I tossed my completely-packed bag down on the floor and sat next to him, fixing my eyes on the opposite wall to avoid his distractive gaze.

"Sorry. Only, it wasn't so long ago- I still haven't come to terms with it completely. At times I regret it, and at other times, I'm glad I did it. Maybe that's what I'll feel like forever. But I know deeply that no matter what I feel about it, I _did_ do it- it must be reflective of my character somehow. And it makes me wonder what type of person I really am. It reminds me the capacity I have to be a monster. That is a constant reality of being a vampire- there's always a battle going on inside. It's just- this was the first time I lost control. I…. I wish you could understand what that turmoil and remorse is like."

"I understand better than you think," he murmured, turning his head towards me. "Don't assume that humans don't go through turmoil, too. Just because our capacity to act our intentions isn't as great as yours, doesn't mean we can't accomplish unspeakable evils. I know a thing or two of regret, Ren."

"You can't know, though, what it's like to take someone's life," I returned, a stiff tone to match the stiff gaze into his milky blue eyes.

"Can't I?" Mathias begged. "You say I assume too much. Well, you sometimes you do too. You say you killed a man? Fine, that may be true. I have killed _two_ people. And not just any random bank robber who had shot someone and probably had it coming to him." He swallowed. "I killed my parents."

I leapt off the bed and was across the room in an instinctive defensive pose. As usual, Mathias seemed unfazed by what should have made his flight instincts go wild.

His eyes fixed on mine. "Sit, Ren. Stay calm. I'll explain."

As always, there was something about his gaze, those bluest of blue eyes, that bent me to his will. I straightened and felt instant pangs of guilt from my overreaction.

"And again, sorry," I said as I resumed my position on the bed next to him. "What happened?"

"My parents and I were trying to find a way out of the Serbia. This was during the war, you know, so we weren't the only ones trying to get over the border. It wasn't safe for us. In the best of times, gypsies are third class citizens. During the throes of war, we're hardly better than target practice if we were caught in the wrong time and place."

"Gypsies?"

Alice's choice in a costume for me no longer seemed so random. Why was she trying too hard to get me and Mathias together, when she knew my path lie with Jacob? Did she know something I didn't? Wasn't I going to be with Jacob?

Matthias continued. "Yeah, but not with, you know, scarves tied around the heads and leather boots and tambourines. That's a very narrow old world stereotype," he smiled.

I shifted in place but said nothing, making a mental note to tell Alice I'd need to replace what she'd bought for me.

"So, one night we make it all the way to the border, and we start to cross over into Bosnia, when we get ambushed by soldiers. My parents went off in one direction, and I in another. They caught my parents right away, but I was able to avoid them until the morning, when they caught me a few miles away."

"You must have been so scared," I stated the obvious.

Mathias just brushed away the comment. "Of course, but I was more confused and angry. You see, when they took me back to their camp, I saw my parents being interrogated, and I heard my mother telling the soldiers she had no idea who I was, that they had no child, and that the 'ugly little boy' must be some child turned out by his parents, an urchin. Being nine and afraid, I didn't realize that she was trying to save me; that she thought if she could convince the soldiers that I was just some random child, they might let me go. I didn't understand. I was angry. I decided to spite her by playing along. I know, it doesn't make much sense, but I was just a child. When the soldiers asked me if the woman and man they had captured were with me, I said, 'I don't know who they are.' He asked in response, 'Then you don't care if I kill them?' And I said…"

His voice broke in the reflection. I held out my hand to his, and pulled his arm into a comforting embrace.

"… I said, 'Kill them.' They were shot in front of my eyes just a few minutes later."

I couldn't contain my grief for him. I threw my arms around him fully and began to gently plant kisses on the dome of his head.

"I wish I had the power to wipe out your memories of the horrid day, but that does not make you responsible for their deaths," I assured him as I stroked his hair.

"It shouldn't, but I wonder why I had to use those exact words, _kill them_ ," he muttered through suppressed tears. "If I had said only _kill them if you want_ or _it makes no difference to me,_ would they still be alive?"

I cupped both sides of his face in my hands and turned it towards mine. "Of course it wouldn't have made a difference. Don't waste another moment of your life thinking any such thing. There was nothing a child in your position could have done."

"If only that were true," he whispered, swallowing back his last tears. "Thanks, Ren. I've only ever told Moira that story. It's a comfort just to have someone else know."

I tried my best to be lighthearted in the wake of our shared heartache. I brought my face closer to his and pressed my temple gently against him. "Hey, us killers have to stick together, right?"

Kissing him only seemed natural. I just barely pecked at his lips with intentions of friendly solace. The cherry scent overwhelmed my senses, and I went back in for another taste. The second time, I hesitated a moment longer, and I felt his lips open ever so slightly below mine. He drew his hands up over mine, and moved them from his face down to his chest, where they acted of their own accord and circled around his neck. His arms moved around me and pulled me into him. My lips hungrily reached out for his, and he pressed his into mine as best he was able. I felt his body tense as I instinctively lay back on the bed, beckoning him down to me.

He pulled his body up along my right side and held my left hand with his right. I pulled his face back down to mine and beseeched his kiss: he responded passionately, and I felt the room start to spin as I heard his pulse incline and felt his hot breath against my cheek. A small tingle was building in my throat as his kisses trailed down to mine.

 _His skin is so soft, and his neck is so close._

With one ripping growl and twist of my hips, I was straddled over him, my hand pinning his arms down on the bed, my teeth at his neck, hovering a micro-millimeter above his pulsating vein. I paused, waiting for him to struggle. He didn't- and the surprise of it forced me to pull back and look in to his face. I couldn't decode if he was more excited or more scared, but knew both were because of the initiative I had taken.

"I can't. I haven't hunted in too long, and your scent is too tempting," I said, burying my face into his chest.

"So, we'll get you a deer and we'll try again later," he smiled, trying to be at ease. "You better do it soon, because I want to dance you off your feet at the Boo Ball, and I guarantee you that your lips will be busy too."

He paused, looking at me tenderly. "Are you sure this is what you want, Ren? Don't get me wrong, my head is spinning right now, but I thought you decided against this?"

"I did, but seeing you struggle like I do… I feel like you get it in a way the others don't. You're like me, stuck between the two worlds."

"I'm all human, Ren," he cooed, trying to free his arms from my grip. It must have been hurting him, but he never made any cry of pain. I lifted myself and sat straddled atop him.

"No, I mean, you know what it's like to be raised in a home where, despite how much you love them, you'll always be inferior, you'll always be the weaker species. That, no matter how hard you try, you'll always be the flawed one," I said. "At least, that's how I feel. Oh, god, you can't imagine how good it feels to tell someone that. I've held it in for so long, even managed hiding it from Edward. But, _you_ understand, don't you?"

"More than words can express, love," he answered, and beckoned me back down to meet his lips again. The burning in my throat intensified in a moment. I pleaded with it uselessly. Mathias ran his fingers through my hair and titled my head to kiss my neck. I leaned over his neck too, hovering just an inch from a vein that would quench the thirst I struggled to contain.

"RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN!"

Bella's voice had never been so shrill.

I threw myself off of the bed and into the corner of the room. Standing in the doorway, Bella sent death eyes in my directions while Edward fumed at Mathias laying on my bed. Mathias sat bolt upright, anticipating a vampire strike at any moment, or worse – a father's stern talking-to.

My father managed to keep his voice deceptively cool. "Mathias, you have precisely twelve seconds to remove yourself from this house and go lock yourself in Moira's car. You're lucky it's one of the few I can't outrun."

"Mr. Cullen," Mathias stammered. "We just got a little carried away. It was totally inappropriate and I apologize for my indecency."

"Indecency?" Bella scoffed. "Mathias, you were just a half-second away from being killed. Be happy she left you alive."

Mathias flashed a confused look in my direction. I hung my head in shame, realizing how close I had been to taking his blood. He looked away from me, sobered.

"Now, if you do in fact value your life, you'll follow my husband's instructions. Otherwise, we'll be happy to close the door and let Renesmee continue 'getting carried away' with you."

Mathias didn't hesitate this time, running down the stairs so fast I wondered he didn't fall. A few moments later I heard the slam of a car door. I looked up to my parents' accusing glares, forced myself to separate from the walls, and straightened.

"You couldn't have known that I would have actually done it," I ventured, finding my voice firmly and resolutely to the point that they were both taken aback. I decided to press my advantage. "Whatever I choose to do with Mathias or anyone else within the confines of my own room or elsewhere is none of your concern."

"As long as you are a member of this family, everything you do is every bit our concern!" Bella bellowed. "We've already made one move in the past year because you lost control. And that was over a complete stranger. Mathias and you are connected. People at school already whisper that you two are sneaking around together. You're throwing yourself in temptation's path. How do you intend to get so close to him and not kill him?"

"I don't know, Mom, why don't you tell me how Dad did it with you!" I yelled back, throwing a book from the shelf out the window unintentionally.

Edward's jaw dropped. If he could have flushed, he'd be a wall of red. "How dare you talk to your mother that way! What happened between us is the exception, Nessie, not the rule. You have no idea how long it took us to be able to be that close without me ripping her to pieces, and I had a century to practice restraint. At the rate of speed you're going, you'll either have Mathias in bed or drained of blood before next Thursday."

"OH, please!" I scoffed. "I am not going to sleep with Mathias Dragonovitch!"

"Can you assure me that you're not going to kill him either?" Edward demanded.

I couldn't muster enough self-confidence to reply.

"I thought not. So, what exactly are your intentions? Are you turning your back on Jacob? Maybe we should let him know so he can give up this charade of pretending like any jail can hold him and keep him from you? Then we'll see how your Mathias fares against the alpha wolf and his pack, even with Moira protecting him. And when Mathias is dead, we'll see how tenderly an ancient assassin looks at you then. You think I'm mad at you, you'll be begging me to kill you by the time she's done ripping you limb from limb."

"You're making mountains of mole hills!" I shouted.

"I am making mountains out of mountains!" Edward shouted back, just as forcefully. "Even if Jacob was not in the picture, this would still be wrong. Mathias is human."

"And so am I," I murmured beneath my breath.

"Half! Nessie, half!" Edward yelled. "Don't forget that, because the other half of your body is the stronger half. Every one of us has always understood that you are more vampire than human. And when it comes down to your body's reaction, in the heat of passion, Mathias is food. If it was any other human, I might even step back and let you try. God knows you would deserve to take the same chance I did if it was for love. Mathias is different. The potential for this all to explode into something way beyond our control is unfathomable."

"What do you mean, Edward?" Bella asked him. She was distracted by his comments, as was I. Edward, as usual, was clearly privy to some piece of information that we were not. "How is he different?"

Edward deeply inhaled, calming himself as he did so. When he spoke again, it was in a much smoother tone. "I promised Moira I would not say. It is not my secret to reveal. But Mathias isn't like other humans, and Moira will kill anyone and do anything to protect him. That includes you, Nessie. As much as she cares for you, Moira will destroy you if it means protecting Mathias from harm."

"So, are you putting your fatherly foot down?" I asked, intentionally filling my voice with sarcasm. "Am I being banned from Mathias?"

"That would only make you want him more," he returned. "I'm only a _sking_ you to stop before it's too late, before you abandon Jacob. Mathias could love you with all the strength his heart could muster, but it will never be as much as Jacob. And Mathias will never be able to protect you."

" _He could be changed."_ The errant thought had come over me before I could subdue it. My mind's eye filled with an image of the Serbian gypsy boy, pale skinned and crimson-eyed, holding me in his arms.

"Moira would never let that happen," Edward answered.

"Why? If she loves Mathias so much, wouldn't she want him to stay with her forever?" I asked.

"I'm bound by their secret not to tell you why," Edward stated quietly. "But believe me, Moira will never let Mathias cross over. And if he does, she will kill Mathias herself."


	20. Boo

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MOIRA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

My eyes arched, but politeness forcing my tongue still. Somehow, placing an ice sculpture on a pedestal just slightly elevated over a pit of fire seemed counterproductive.

"I know that seems silly, but the flame is very low heat, as far as flames go, so it won't melt it," Alice assured me, as though it was she and not her proxy sibling who could read my mind. "I promise the fire pit won't damage the floor either. It just fits in so well with my fire and ice theme."

Is this what Esme meant about Alice getting carried away? Maybe I should have heeded her warning and saw out the details of the Boo Ball after all. Then again, Alice seemed more than capable and downright enthused. I'd led successful campaigns against Parthians with less militant efforts.

"It's fine. I am a little concerned about the fog machines, though. Some of the second floor tapestries are sensitive to humidity; I have to keep those areas under constant climate control. Just as long we make sure not to open any of the doors to those sections of the house while the fog machines are cranking. What about music?"

"Oh, I've hired a band and a DJ."

We stepped out of the garage and made way to the house. My Bugatti was parked someone haphazardly, hanging half way off the paved drive, both doors still open and no Edward or Bella in sight.

"How comes this?" I mused, looking it over from a distance. "I shouldn't worry, but if ever there was one car a vampire could manage to crash, it would be that one."

"Aren't you worried it will draw a little too much attention?" Jasper arched his eyebrow quizzically. "Porches and Jaguars are one thing. But this? How do they think you can afford such a thing on a teacher's wages?"

"Ah, well the current rumor goes that Moira is the illegitimate child of an extremely wealthy English Duke, and that the Duke is being blackmailed to keep her identity secret." I smiled. "I rather like this incarnation; it gives me so much leverage to keep my summers open while giving Mathias a pretty stable life. I have to admit, though, I'm pushing the boundaries of Moira right now. Nine years in, and having supposed to have aged from 25 to 34. But, it's the only _me_ Mathias has even known. Almost makes Moira seem like a real person."

"Has Mathias always known? I mean, what you are?" Alice asked in her sweet soprano.

"No, I didn't tell him until it became… unavoidable," I answered. "He always understood that I was different, to be sure. But when he was thirteen, we were on a dig in the Amazon rainforest. We were hacking through the forest when a jaguar had a go at him. The venom overtook me, and the jaguar was soon drained of all blood, as you can imagine. And then I turned on Mathias. I came close to killing him, but his words got to me and coaxed me into to stopping."

"But how could you drink a whole jaguar and still want more?" Jasper asked.

"You don't see the obvious Jasper, and that surprises me with your history," I answered. "Every time I cross, I'm like a newborn. The thirst is unquenchable; the bloodlust, undeniable. And with the way the venom and the antivenom vie for control, it accelerates those vampire instincts all the more. It was once easier to control, but after the third vampire bite eight years ago, there is too much venom in my body for me to rein it in as simply as I used to. When I first crossed, I could go months in one state or the other, and never worry about the transition. After Sorin bit me, I found after three or four days, crossing back became nearly impossible. Now, I have 58 seconds from the time I cross over to throw the process into reverse, or I might not be able to. One thing's for sure, if I get bitten again, I won't be able to come back. You could say, my three strikes are up."

Their gazes were deeply sympathetic and intensely curious. I was surprised a little myself, having just revealed to two vampires I hardly knew the crux on which my existence so delicately lay. Jasper moved to speak, but our attention shifted as the house door slammed. Mathias practically dove into the car like a soldier pulling back to the trenches. His pulse raced his breath for speed.

"Moira, we need to go, NOW!" he shouted.

"Why, what's is going on?"

From above, a book flew from the third story window, and the opening allowed the shouting match going on upstairs to flow down freely.

Jasper's countenance twisted. "I think you'd better get Mathias out of here. I got a bad feeling, and it's not mine."

I got into the car while Mathias locked the doors. Ninety seconds later, I eyed him suspiciously as we turned out of Frenchman's Fork onto Lakeside. I couldn't help taking the longer loop around the Lake, and opening up the Bugatti's engine as fast as the curves could handle. It would also give us a slightly longer drive to school, even at this accelerated pace, giving Mathias a chance to explain what all the panic was over.

"Anytime, Mathias. If I'm going to have to barricade us in the school cafeteria to defend ourselves against the Cullen coven, I'll skip my morning cup of coffee in the teacher's lounge."

He was stared into space, as though trying to reconstruct the truth in the lattice of the horizon. "It all happened so fast. One minute she was sitting next me, the next minute I was lying down next to her, kissing her, and the next minute she was on top of me, I was pinned to the bed, and her teeth were at my throat."

I swallowed my temptation to dope slap him. "And what were you thinking, making out with her in her bedroom in a house full of vampires, two of which are her parents?"

"Damn it, Moira, it's not like I planned it. Hoped maybe, but I had no intentions. She started it, anyways."

I mused for a second, remembering what Mathias had told me about their brief encounter a few days before. In that case, their kiss had seemed to be mutual, but Ren had been the one to pull back and decide it had been a mistake. Further, I knew from my conversations with Edward and Bella at night while our children slept all about Jacob. It seemed rather obvious to me that my so-called son's efforts with Ren were to be ultimately in vain. Maybe they had overestimated her bond with the wolf. Or, maybe Mathias had taken careless actions in wooing her?

"What led to the… circumstances?" I pondered, knowing full well he understood what I meant.

"I told her about my parents."

My body tensed, hoping fruitlessly that he would not say the words that were already dripping off his tongue, but a moment later, he confirmed it.

"I told her how I killed them."

"You WHAT!?" Now _my_ anger threatened to break. "I make very few demands of you, Mathias. And I _demanded_ that you were to never reveal the truth to _anyone."_

"I haven't!" he defended. "I only told her that I killed my parents, not how."

After a few deep breaths and meandering curves of Lakeside, I pulled into a parking spot at the school. "Do you have any classes with the Cullens?"

"I have math with Rosalie, second period with Edward, and Alice and Renesmee are in my last class."

Second period. That was good. I had prep time and my classroom would be empty.

"Go to the library, and stay there until I come for you. Do not leave for anything, unless your life is in danger. If Marta gives you grief, tell her you must stay. You understand what I'm saying? Don't let her make you leave."

"I'm sorry, Moira. I really am."

His juvenile face broke my anger. He was only human, a fact so often forgotten. Of course he would make mistakes. Only, as he had accepted being my ward, there was so little room such imperfections.

My shoulders relaxed. "Oh, Mathias… Look, I'll do my best to smooth this all over. But, you must help. Hold yourself back from Ren for now. I'm not saying avoid her; don't look at me that way! I'm just saying, as I've said before, a relationship with you will draw conflict for her on every level. I'm just asking you to let her take the lead. Now go."

Mathias took his bag from the floor and rushed across the school parking lot, disappearing in a sea of plaid. I sat in the car, eyes forward, tapping my fingers on the leather-bound steering wheel, waiting. After a few minutes, I finally heard them. The Cullen's Hummer pulled into a parking space at the far end of the lot. The five of them emerged from the vehicle. Ren's face looked like a broken plate glued hastily back together.

I concentrated to relay my thoughts in very clear English. " _Edward, I think you, Bella, and I should talk. I have prep time second period. Meet me in my classroom."_

I saw him turn his eyes back towards my car. He whispered something in Bella's ear, and then they both nodded in my direction. Alice, Jasper, and Ren seemed oblivious to the conversation. A few moments later, they too had disappeared into the crowd of students.

"Sweet ride, Miss A," one of the junior students said as I stepped out of the car. "What is it, a Lamborghini?"

"Bugatti, actually, Michael."

I had envisioned driving my Veyron into the lot on that morning and lingering by its side, waiting for the students and faculty to gawk. In ancient times, I had been worshipped as a goddess. Temples were built and festivals were held in my honor. Humans, even Pharaohs, supplicated themselves before me. Some part of me occasionally grew hungry for the adoration I had once known. Now, I led a lonely existence, hiding my true nature from everyone. The accord I had brokered in Volterra nearly fourteen centuries still held, but I realized my recent associations jeopardized it more every day.

When I had first taken Mathias to live with me nine years ago, I never thought it would be for longer than a few months. As soon as I found a boarding school or an orphanage that could help him deal with his issues of regret and misplaced responsibility, I would leave him behind and be done with it. I'd support him financial, but of course I couldn't – I wouldn't – take on a direct role in his life. I couldn't be responsible for another child. Every creature that had ever held in that place in my heart met a tragic end. Mathias, though, had other plans. _He_ wanted _me_ , and he refused to be let go. My distant sympathy and disgust eventually grew to indifference, then genuine admiration. Now, he was my existence. I could no sooner cut out my right eye than cut him from my heart.

I locked the car, swiftly dodged gawking students ogling the Bugatti, and headed up to my classroom. I went on automatic during my first period, AP Latin, hardly recognizing that the students were even there. When the bell rang, I sat at my desk and fingered through a stack history reports, waiting.

They slipped in without word or sound, like the predators they truly were. They took desks in the front row of the class, Bella in the same seat Ren had deferred to the first day, and waited patiently for me to look up.

"I think you see as clearly as me the problem we have developing," I said finally. I tried to gage their reactions, but neither twitched a muscle.

Finally, Edward answered. "Moira, I want you to know, I find no fault in anything that Mathias did."

"So, by implication, you believe this is all Ren's fault? I'm sorry, I don't. Mathias is uniquely aware of the dangers of getting involved with our kind, but he believes somehow he is immune from them where your daughter is concerned. Based on what happened this morning, I'd say his carelessness nearly landed both Ren and he in a place they could not have come back from."

Edward rose and leaned over my desk. "You have come across four hybrids during your times. But, tell me, were you ever with them when their human aging came to halt?"

My head tilted. "No, they had all passed that phase by the time I met them." Where was he going with this? "Why?"

"It's why Ren is partly to blame for this. Or at least, her biology is. Carlisle and I have been discussing this for a while. The venom, it seems, is trying to freeze her body in time. But, the human part of her is fighting back and trying to push her from adolescence into adulthood. It's over manufacturing hormones. She's like an athlete on steroids: her mood swings, her irrational outbursts, her occasional accelerations of strength and speed. We thought this might happen, but we were counting on Jacob being around to temper her reactions. Jacob was prepared to withhold himself from her until she stabilized. He knows and loves her beyond human measure, and as a werewolf he is more than capable of restraining her physically. But, as you know, things happened, and we are left without him- temporarily."

"Yes, I see that his trial started a few days ago," I mentioned offhandedly. I had been following the press releases from Washington since they had shared Ren and Jacob's story with me. "Have you considered what you will do if he is convicted? He would probably serve 10 to 20 years."

"Jacob is part of our coven. We will welcome him whenever and whatever may come," Bella declared.

I scoffed. "A werewolf part of a vampire coven! Great Anubis, if you live long enough, you're bound to see anything."

"Yes, like an ancient vampire who adopts a Serbian gypsy boy to keep him from being discovered by the Volturi." Edward grinned.

"I see the ruse is up then," I sighed. _"Have you shared this with anyone else?"_

"Only Bella. As you might expect, I keep nothing from my wife," Edward returned." I have nothing to gain by telling anyone, and you have everything to lose."

The tension found my body as I realized the truth: it was time to leave. My cover was blown. _Our_ cover was blown. To protect Mathias, the only option was to flee.

"No, Moira, there you are wrong," Edward responded to my thoughts. "In fact, I would beg you not to leave, at least until Jacob rejoins us. Right now, Mathias is distracting Renesmee, keeping her focused elsewhere. She's unstable right now, but his flirtations are amazingly keeping her from lashing out. Alice has been encouraging Renesmee from our end, and I would only ask that you to do the same for Mathias. Although, you might want to have him rein in his libido a bit, for his safety and ours."

"You want me to leave my son to pursue your daughter as a distraction from the heartache she would otherwise feel over the separation from the shapeshifter who imprinted on her moments after her birth? Please, say that aloud to yourself and tell me why I would volunteer to expose Mathias to such peril?"

"We're a civilized coven, Moira, but we barely escaped exposure in Washington because Jacob took the fall," Bella explained. "If something should happen to expose us here, if Renesmee were to take another life, for example, the Volturi wouldn't be so willing to let it pass."

"They are desperate for an excuse to come for us a second time," Edward added.

My eyes flashed to him, my thoughts betraying my fear. " _You mean, they already launched an assault on you once?"_

"There was a standoff, of sorts. But, they were outmaneuvered. We departed in peace, but their long term intentions were clear. They will do everything it takes to recruit Alice, Bella and me. And I regret, as your probably realize, that if they do make another affront, Mathias and you are exposed as well. All it will take is any one of coming into contact with Aro, and he will see you. If we stand together, though, we have a chance. We are the only coven whom the Volturi has ever feared. They might be willing to take us on as is, but with Sekhmet standing with us, they would not dare to move without careful deliberation."

I quickly suppressed the reactive thought running through my mind. _The only_ surviving _coven they ever feared, you mean._ Edward either had not caught it, or did not think it substantiated, as he made no comment or inquiry. Joining forces with the Cullen's against a Volturi inquisition had never occurred to me. Yet, as Edward and Bella laid it out, it was all too evident the advantage such an alliance would present.

"Fine. I concur, though this smacks of something going against every moral fiber of motherhood."

And then I smiled. I smiled because, even though our intentions differed, my son had just been given leave to pursue openly the woman he loved. And I envied that.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ RENESMEE }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

All at once, I was convinced this new costume had been an even bigger misjudgment. Alice had been hurt when I told her the gypsy one would have to be trashed. When I explained the actuality that Mathias as a gypsy would find it insulting, she capitulated. Nevertheless, as I stepped into melee of the Boo Ball, _barely_ dressed as Cleopatra, I longed for the flowing skirt and billowy blouse I'd forsaken.

"Alice says that Mathias is waiting for you up in the tower," Edward whispered in my ear, reading Alice's mind I supposed, as she'd arrived long before us and we still hadn't crossed paths. "First, though, we Moira is in the billiards room, just down the hall from the ballroom. When one arrives at a party, it is the role of the gracious guest to pay tribute to the hostess."

Every room in house, left and right, was filled with students and faculty in a range of tacky costumes, from witches to comic book characters to, yes, ill-conceived attempts at the iconic vampire: black cape, slicked back hair, big, plastic fangs. We gently passed our way through the throngs stationed on the grand staircase, admiring Moira's collection of Germanic and Nordic battle axes mounted above. A steady, pulsating bass line flowed from the ballroom, along with the stomach-churning scent of greasy appetizers and fizzy punch.

In the billiards room, we found Moira engaged in conversation with Dr. Costas, the English literature instructor, debating the satirical brilliance of "The Importance of being Earnest." Costas threw out the punchline of what had been a joke as Moira threw back her head and laughed, reaching out to touch his elbow as she did. Even I picked up on the quickening pulse emanating from that side of the room.

"Wow, now that's thrown me for a loop. Jasper, are you picking up on that too?" Edward laughed noiselessly, and spoke in a whisper only we would hear.

"Of course." Jasper grinned as he faked sipping from a glass. "Interesting, hmm?"

"What is it?" Rosalie asked, following their gazes to the two faculty.

Jasper chuckled. "Someone had a beau once upon a time, didn't she?"

"Many, many years ago," Edward added. "Seems like Costas doesn't realize Moira's the same person he slept with back during 50's. He thinks she's some distant relative, but he's attracted to Moira just as much as ever….. Moira, you know I can't help it…."

My father's expression passed from moment to moment as though he were actually engaging in a face to face conversation with Moira instead of interacting with her thoughts. I looked for any complimentary shifts in her features, but she never broke stride in her interaction with Costas.

"I'm not spying," Edward insisted. "What do you mean, so how do I know? He keeps flashing back to seducing you in the yacht. I'd block it out if I could, I really don't like knowing what you look like when… Oh, that was uncalled for… I am not one of the Village People, I'm the nutcracker prince. This is supposed to be a Russian general's uniform…. And exactly what are you dressed as, a medieval wench?"

After one more peel of laughs at one of Costas' comments, she kindly dismissed herself from his company and crossed to us. She was clad in a black, floor length renaissance dress, with sleeves that were drawn out nearly as long at the dress itself. Makeup had been overly applied to her otherwise gentle face, to give the illusion of being sultry and conniving. The dark dress made her jade eyes even more prominent, highlighted by an actual piece of polished jade that hung from her neck.

"For your information, I'm Morgaine le Fey," she scoffed. Her eyes focused on me, drinking in my costume. "Cleopatra?"

"Is it authentic?" I doubted it. Humans so rarely got anything right that they had no direct experience with.

"Not at all," Moira giggled. "Except for the eyes. Those are just about right. Cleo could seduce a man just by looking at him."

Ah, Moira had known the actual Cleopatra. This little comment reminded me of just how old she was and set me off kilter again, as I then also recalled all the details of her existence that made her ability to blend into this crowd even more amazing. I wondered, if Costas had ever had any glimpse into her truer nature. It seemed unlikely, as he held no fear in her company, and appeared to long for her even.

"Alice has run about this place like a chicken with its head cut off, getting everything just right," Moira continued. "How can so much chaos erupt from such a wee thing? Vicious too, when pushed. If that's the way she treats a caterer for mistaking Swiss and Belgian chocolate fondue, I'd hate to see what she's like hunting."

"That's Alice," Jasper mumbled from behind me, fumbling his fingers over the glued on mustache. He _looked_ like an Ashley Wilkes most days, but his Brett Butler costume wasn't so bad either. "She never does any party half way."

The scents of too many bodies swirled around me, each a different temptation. Even with my thirst freshly quenched, I could sense a little tickle in my throat. I decided to remove myself from the crowd. Besides, I was impatient to see Mathias. Today had not been a good day in the trial. Powerless as I was, I longed for a distraction from my renewed sense of guilt at Jacob's present circumstances. Mathias always chased all my stresses and concerns away with his blue eyes.

"Moira, would you excuse me please?" I asked. She nodded, and I began to make my way back to the door through the dozen or so people huddled in the Billiards room.

"Don't worry; I'll hear if anything goes on that shouldn't."

Edward had directed his comment to Bella and Moira, but I understood that he had stated it just loudly enough that I would pick it up too. Implication: _I'll be listening, so don't try anything funny._

 _And don't kill him._

At the landing between the third and fourth floor sat a sign that read, "Private Residence, Do Not Enter." But I had a special invitation. No one else was up this high, so I took the last two flights of stairs to Mathias's room at vampire speed.

"Come in," he called before I even knocked on the door.

I gave a little gasp from surprise. I slowly pushed back the door. The _really_ heavy door. What was it made of, titanium? The entry foyer of Mathias's room looked more like a command center. On one wall, a stockade of small guns had been arranged. On the other, a bank of security monitors, each showing different angles around the house. One focused on the doorway I had just passed through, and had given away my approach, no doubt. Two of them surveyed the ballroom, where I saw Edward and Bella enter and Rosalie and Emmett find a place on the dance floor. Alice was at the far end of the ballroom, whispering instructions into the DJ's ear. I wondered if she was setting up some moment she had foreseen, and if so, for whom?

"So, does the secret service drop by much?" I teased.

Mathias emerged from behind the door of his inner chamber donning a distinctive Roman military uniform, with a chest plate I was almost willing to bet $50 was authentic. He was adjusting a purple paludamentum over his right shoulder, but froze in place upon seeing me.

"Now I know why Alice suggested this costume for me," he grinned. "Cleopatra needs her Antony."

"Maybe you're Julius Caesar. She has a thing for couple costumes," I commented. From the heat radiating my cheek, I sensed my blush. Mathias only gaped at me. "You look really… Roman. So, the security cameras?"

Mathias scratched his head. "Two reasons, really. One is obvious, right? With all the antiques in the house, some measure of precaution is demanded. Especially when your mother is a notorious black market antiques dealer. The second is that this is a room of last resort; a retreat, a panic room."

"A panic room? You mean, a room that can only be opened from the inside? Who would you need to be protected from?" I laughed, imaging Mathias sitting in front of a bank of security monitors while ninjas or international jewel thieves tried to hack their way in.

"Did you notice how heavy the door was? Reinforced titanium alloy. Vampire proof." He rolled his eyes as he shrugged. "At least, we think it is."

"And you expect to be assaulted by vampires at every turn?"

He shook his head. "Just one. Sekhmet's thirst is epic, Ren. Next to Dracula the poser, she's probably the most famous vampire in history. Her legends are literally carved in stone. Given that I am a tasty morsel living in the same house as the Scourge of the Nile, taking a little precaution like pressurized security doors seems logical."

I looked again at the bank of monitors, watching now as Esme and Moira entered the room. As two women sans dates, it appeared they were going to be wall flowers in kind for the night.

"I don't remember seeing security cameras anywhere though. Where are they?"

Mathias approached from behind, coming nearly flush with me, and wrapped his arm around my side as he leaned forward and pointed out two spots on screen.

"One there, behind the mosaic. Moira replaced some of the white tiles with glass ones so she could hide it. The other is attached to the outside of the house, and focuses in through the window."

His arm fell, but lingered next to me. I could feel his breath on my neck. Slowly, I lifted my head to the side, and raised my hand to his check. He lightly kissed the nape of my neck before trying to turn me towards him. I surrendered my movements to his will and pulled myself close to him. His lips lowered to mere inches from mine. He paused.

"Have you, um, hunted?"

I nodded. "I took precautions."

Then, he kissed me. A wave of heat ran from my lips and flashed out all the way to my fingertips. He circled his arms around my back, and attempted to pull me even closer. I withdrew a moment and traced his lips with my tongue, before pulling him back to me and circling my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair.

"Mathias…" I moaned as he lowered his attention to my neck.

"Renesmee…" he moaned back, moving his mouth to my exposed collar bone and shoulder. "Tell me to stop, or I don't think I will."

I hesitated. What did he mean? What was he asking of me? And was I ready to make that kind of decision? Touching him and not hurting him had not been nearly as difficult as Carlisle and Esme thought it might be. Touching Mathias was a very human sensation, and I responded very humanely. But the fire burning in my throat was suddenly competing with another fire burning in my chest. Instincts I had never felt before threatened to overtake me. The room began to swirl.

"What are you proposing, Mr. Dragonovitch?" I teased, cupping his face between my hands and bringing his blue eyes up to meet mine. "Are you offering yourself to me?"

"I am your servant, Ren. Your slave. Command me. Let me take the orders, for a change."

Almost on cue, Edward looked directly into one of the security cameras, standing right in front it. Of course, he had seen through either my eyes or Mathias's where it was hidden, and placed himself so squarely front and center to make his presence clearly known. I drew back from Mathias, whose distraction of engaging my ear had left his eyes unfocused to my father's forewarning stare.

"I think we should slow down a bit."

It took every ounce of my conviction to convince myself that that's what I really wanted. He drew a deep breath, and leaned his head on my shoulder.

"As you wish," he muttered, placing very innocent kisses on my cheek. Mathias's demeanor shifted turning very grim, almost painful, as he pulled me into his embrace and stroked my hair.

"Ren, I realize that parts of this relationship are difficult for you. I want you to know, I'm not trying to replace Jacob. I understand that when he is free, I might fall by the wayside. But, I want you to know, until that time, I'm here to be whatever you want me to be. If that's a friend or a lover, so be it."

"A lover?"

Even with our recent physical engagements, I had never considered the term for him.

"Yes, a lover," he smiled. "Don't you get it silly girl? I love you. Just like I told you I would."

"And now, you expect me to say that I love you, too?" I asked, more of myself than him.

"I don't expect anything except honesty."

I thought for a moment before carefully selecting my words; words I knew that Edward would be listening to just as clearly.

"Mathias, I love Jacob," I barely made out. The weight of my words seemed to crush him. "But…" His eyes flashed up with renewed hope. "There's no panic room for my heart. My future isn't with you, but in this moment, Mathias Dragonovitch, even if only for this moment alone, I love you."

His lips crushed to mine with renewed passion and purpose, and mine answered his in kind. He coaxed me backwards, pushing me with his body into the wall. My hands acted of their own accord, making feeble attempts to pull him closer, closer, closer….

It took me a moment to realize that he had stopped. I looked up at him, and followed his eye line to the bank of monitors off to the right. He was looking specifically at a camera that was focused on the main entry way, and to the three figures who had just crossed the threshold of the front foyer, looking amused by the masses of students circulating around the premises. Each of them donned a simple costume that blended in to a high school masque party. But I knew, as I felt instinctively Mathias did as well, that their particular wardrobe wasn't a disguise.

"God have mercy…" Mathias whimpered in a shallow cry.

On the adjacent monitor, I saw Edward's face stretch out into a panicked gasp. His lips moved, almost in time with mine, looking at the monitor.

Jane.

Alec.

Demetri.


	21. Too Far

{{{Moira}}}

"Alice! Jasper! Rosalie! Emmett!"

The horrified voices that emanated nearly inaudibly across the crowd from Edward and Bella on the other side of the room sent grotesque images dancing across my consciousness. Guilt and remorse gripped me as I drew assumptions of what events must have transpired to cause such alert beckoning, assumptions that led me to one unacceptable conclusion: Renesmee had been unable to resist the temptation and my Mathias was dead.

In moments, the Cullens stood beside Esme and me in the back center of the ballroom, behind Alice's treasured fire pit. The others' faces were just as perplexed and concerned as my own, the twinkle of their amber eyes dancing in the bouncing light radiating from the low flicker of flame. Esme, perhaps making the same inference as me, clutched my heated hand in her own icy one. I couldn't help but reflect on Alice's theme for our Boo Ball: fire and ice.

"Mathias and Nessie are fine."

Edward cut off the running of my imagination. I gasped, having forgotten to breathe for at least twenty seconds. Esme's arm circled around me comfortingly. But the tension in Edward and Bella's faces forced us back from the momentary relief.

"Then… what could possibly be…."

My voice trailed off as _they_ entered the room, three black robes gracefully bellowing out behind them as though the wind had caught them, swirls of fog from the ill-advised fog machine tossing in every direction.

"Oh, god!" Esme panted. "Oh, no, all the children."

My concern was more focused on the two children in the tower, probably unaware of the very danger both their lives were in. Edward picked up on my thoughts.

"They know. They saw them on the security cameras."

"Security cameras?" Emmett queried, tossing his head left and right to identify this new discovery.

"Are they still behind the entry way of the tower?" I asked Edward. He paused for a moment and then nodded his head.

I didn't know why the Volturi had come, or why they choose to send their scouting party at this particular moment, but I could guess. The Volturi had been charged with one simple task: keep our world a secret from humans. The means they used to accomplish this goal had always been of their own choosing. Their choices were harsh and implied a near zero tolerance for disregard of the prime directive. The triumvirate, no doubt, had sent three of its most powerful guards perfectly timed to coincide with a house full of humans to ensure that there would be no temptation to make a scene.

"Should I get Nessie and run?" Emmett asked. Rosalie's eyes never faltered tracking the trio as they locked unto us from across the room.

"You cannot outrun them," I said. "Demetri has surely sensed your intellect now. He will track you across the continent, if necessary. And Mathias must be protected as well."

"But we can't just leave them on their own!" Esme pleaded.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "They'll be safe in the tower."

"Oh. My. God."

Edward's astonished voice reflected the benefit of his talent and allowed him to preview my intent. I realized that, though he had been able to deduce Mathias's ability by our own unguarded stray thoughts, he had only a vague idea of the reach and breadth of mine. How fascinating he must find me now- and how dangerous.

"We will speak of this later," he assured me.

I agreed. This was not the time for philosophical discussion or historical query. "Do you concur with my decision?"

He gave a curt nod.

Bella's face was stricken with both submission and revolt. She was trusting of Edward's decisions, but frustrated by not being privy to our half-spoken conversation.

I sharpened my thoughts around the tower's pressurized security door that would seal the panic room from the inside, protecting the occupants from harm from nearly any outside force, and _willed_ it shut. The echo of the metal locks sliding into place and the seal vacuuming shut was drowned out from the humans' ears by the music. The Volturi guard, however, paused, trying to identify the source of the sound.

"Edward, Renesmee…" Bella pleaded. "Tell me what's going on."

"Don't worry, love, she's safe."

He embraced her and laid kisses on each of her cheeks, then turned towards Alice.

"How come you couldn't see this coming?" he harshly demanded.

Alice shied sheepishly, her lips twitching but unable to generate words. Jasper became defensive.

"Back off, Edward. You know she doesn't see everything. Especially when Nessie and _Moira_ are concerned!"

The animosity with which he overly accentuated my name set me aback. The implication was clear: maybe Alice could see far enough Renesmee's cloudy psychic boarders, but my presence rendered her blind. If I was party to the event, she could see nothing. He held me to blame for this danger being unforeseen.

"Easy, Jazz," Alice found her voice in an attempt to soothe him. "This isn't the time to pick a fight amongst ourselves."

I looked again across the ballroom. Perhaps afraid to appear too inhuman, Jane, Alec and Demetri overcompensated with a slow pace. Only fifteen feet from us now, I knew we had only a few more seconds of audile isolation, and that due only to the pounding base kicking out from the speakers at the far end of the room. When they were standing next to us, this fact would also provide them cover to speak in voices too soft for any human ear to detect, but perfectly sensible to us. They would be hiding in plain sight.

"They do not wish to engage us here," I concluded. The crowd was too big and the witnesses too many. Jane and Alec were keen choices as emissaries: as hardly teenagers themselves they would blend most easily amongst the youthful crowd. Demetri, however, was sent as a warning: don't try to make a run for it. "Let me talk first. Bella, keep your shield down until we understand their purpose better."

I stepped forward to meet their advance; the Cullens followed right behind. Jane's tempest smile bared her razor teeth menacingly as she curtsied. Demetri and Alec gave a little bow, but otherwise remained stoic as they assessed the presence of the seven vampires standing behind me.

" _La do il benvenuto alla mia casa, i miei ospiti onorati_ ," I greeted. It had been over sixty years since I had encountered them, and I did not know anymore which their lingua franca was.

"Great Sekhmet," Demetri answered. Ah, so English it was now. "We are most humbled by your welcome."

Alec suppressed a giggle. I wished that I could ask Edward the reason, but so was my disadvantage now.

"I had not been made aware that a delegation was to be sent, and such a prominent delegation at that. To what do I owe the pleasure of such company?" My words were measured and diplomatic, but the underlying message was clear. _What the hell are you doing in my house?_

"Your grace," Jane sweetly stated. "I'm afraid you misunderstand. Though your welcome is most gracious, we were not sent to seek you. In fact, we are most surprised to find you here…with _them._ What of the accord?"

"It stands. The Cullens are merely friends and neighbors," I explained. "I must point out, however, that under our accord, the Volturi are to make known their intention to send any representative."

"Again, milady, our apologies, but there is no malicious intent. We were sent to address the Cullens, and you're being present is an _uplifting_ delight."

Demetri shifted his eyes to Bella and Edward, as though trying to diagnose their reactions.

"He's lying," Edward declared. "They _were_ sent to deliver a message to us, but they were fully aware that they would find you here."

I couldn't suppress presenting the question my heart ached most to have answered. I drafted the English in my head concisely:

" _Do they know about Mathias?"_

Edward whispered a muted "no."

I stared down Demetri with as much contempt as I could muster.

"I trust you are well acquainted with my friend's insightfulness," I said, tossing my head back to indicate Edward. "I would appreciate then if we can skip with the formalities and rhetoric. Tell me why you are here."

Jane laughed and started swaying back and forth with the music. She looked around at the student body as they jumped and shimmied, looking very much like fish caught on a line.

"So many pretty poppies," she said, looking slowly from one to the other of those dancing nearby. "I wonder which one tastes the sweetest?"

Esme shifted her body around the side of our contingent, placing herself firmly beside Jane in order to block any action she might take. Of course, she would not kill one. But how hard would it be for a twelve-year old to accidently cause someone to "trip" while dancing and break a leg or an arm. Or, just to collapse in a sudden ball of unanticipated and unimaginable pain?

"Why, Mother Cullen, what are you implying?" Jane giggled mercilessly.

"If you touch one, Jane, the last pain you will feel is my teeth through your throat," Esme growled.

Demetri pulled Jane back to his side and cast her disparaging looks. He then turned his gaze to Edward. "You are being extended an invitation to present your daughter in Volterra for a formal audience."

"We decline," Bella proclaimed without pause, tightening her grip on Edward's arm. "There is no reason for them to see her. You had your answers to all your questions seven years ago. She is not a threat to you or to anyone else."

"If dead men could tell tales, there would be a corpse in Washington that would contend that sentiment," Demetri returned. I saw Bella and Edward flinch, realizing that the Volturi were more than aware of the near exposure caused by Ren's mishap. "If you feel she is no threat, why not let us see her now? If she seems controlled and composed enough, perhaps we can send message back to Aro and the others that there is nothing to be gained by a trip to Italy? We've already checked your home and followed her scent up here. Bring her out from wherever she's hiding."

My mind immediately flashed to the tower, where Ren was surely safe enough behind an impenetrable door. But standing with her behind that door was my Mathias, whose doom would surely be sealed if Demetri was able to convince his way into the panic room. Even if Mathias and Ren had not known why I had forced the door shut, surely they would were watching now on the security monitor. The exterior camera was mounted just a few feet away outside the adjacent window. My first task when adopting Mathias was to have him memorize the faces of the Volturi from pictures I had gathered from thousands of well-sifted Volterra tourist photos. He knew these faces. He would recognize the danger.

But would he be smart enough not to open the door? Or would he try to be the hero?

"I am tired of waiting!" Jane suddenly and fervently declared. "Answer!"

"No!" Jasper cried, sensing before we were ever able to see the waves of pain that were crashing over Edward, causing him to double over, his abhorrent cries drowning out even the pulsing boom of the dance music. Bella's shield was over us in moments, but Edward's body was in rapture from the shock.

The dancing of the nearby students had ceased, as they to find the source of the screams. I heard the whispers of a few:

 _Was that Edward Cullen?_

 _Who are the people in the robes?_

 _Is he okay? He looks like he's hurt…._

"How dare you!"

I rebuked Jane even as her laughter reverberated. Concern and curiosity had drawn the crowd's attention. Even the music had hushed. The silence of a mass of students and others staring wordlessly at what was so clearly a tension-filled standoff weighed heavy on my senses. It became all too apparent what they were doing: they _wanted_ the attention focused on us. They had the clear advantage: they were not accountable to a public persona that these humans near the way we were. Certainly if I so choose, anyone of us could leap out and attack Jane or Alec, and with Bella's shield over us a victory would be likely. I was sorely tempted to do just that. But how would that look to this ignorant audience: the high school history teacher laying waste to two twelve-year olds?

With every ear now focused on us as well, we were even hostages to our words. I wasn't familiar enough with Bella's gift to know, while we stood behind her shield, if Edward and Jasper would still be able to pick up any mental indications I sent their way?

"I can hear you," Edward whispered acknowledging, his teeth still clenched as he tried to recoup.

" _Don't you see? This is part of their plan- they want their thoughts safe from you. Jane did that on purpose so Bella would block you. They already have a plan. What's the last thing you heard?"_

I turned my back on the guard and focused on Edward and Bella. He rose cautiously, Bella bracing him under the arms for support. A quick nod to Demetri was followed by Edward's response.

"He will go find the thing he's been sent to find and take it by force."

Edward was wise enough to make his words vague, knowing that two hundred pairs of eyes from all corners of the room were now focused on us, with a matching set of hungry ears. Demetri's mouth twisted into a self-assured, wicked smile, seeing that we understood what the threat was, and believing he had created a situation in which were powerless. _Fine, live your abhorrent vegetarian lives. But if you don't want your cover blown, you'll hand over the child without a struggle. And if you do resist and expose yourself, we'll have the excuse we need to take you all out._

"What do we do?" Esme gasped quietly, her body stiff and motionless.

"Simple," I answered, looking in turn from Edward to Emmett and to Jasper, the three warriors. "We shift the advantage. _Edward, they think the crowd is their leverage. Let's make it ours."_

"How?"

" _Just follow my lead."_

I turned to the sea of eyes focused ever more curiously upon us.

"Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys," I called out in my best teacher-making-an-announcement voice. If anyone had not been watching us before, they surely were now. "Let me take a moment as your hostess to thank you for gracing us with your presence tonight. As you may or may not know, all of our festivities today were coordinated by Ms. Alice Cullen, and I would like to extend thanks on behalf of the Bridgeport Academy for organizing the Boo Ball."

My heart leapt with guilty pleasure as I saw the confusion spread across the guards' faces.

"Some of you noticed our little scene over here, and I want to say, so sorry Mr. Cullen for stepping on your toes, but I did warn you that I had two left feet when you asked me to dance. I'm sorry they both kicked you in the shins."

A murmured chuckle ran through the room as Edward bowed his head in a faux acknowledgement of my apology, and let me know for certain he was playing along.

"Now, Alice tried to convince me that we needed other entertainment this evening than just enough food and music to put a Kennedy wedding to shame, but I refused to waste anymore of your parents' well intentioned endowments on such frivolities."

From behind, I heard a little huff, and then Jasper whispering very low into her ear, "She's not being sincere. Go along with it."

"Lucky for me, and unlucky for you all, Alice somehow found out about my checkered past as an amateur magician. Yes, it's true. I'm not proud, but," I motioned around the room to the mosaics on the adjacent wall and the ornate crystal chandelier taken for the Prague Opera house dangling from the ceiling, "I had to pay the bills somehow."

Again, a pleasant mass chuckle. I could see Demetri's face contort as he tried to put together what I was plotting. Jane and Alec were similarly occupied, perhaps debating internally on whether to make threats with their gifts, or flee given they had clearly lost control.

"So, if we could lower the lights? Oh, and remember, emphasis on _amateur_ in amateur magician. Nonetheless, let me give it my best go by employing everything in my bag of tricks."

Obligingly, someone across the room dimmed the chandelier, though those who I most wanted to see could see clear as day.

"And, DJ, perhaps some music? Something that would be good for pulling a rabbit out of hat…."

"The one I was asking you about before," Alice called over the crowd.

Jasper's grip on her tightened at the realization. She _had_ seen this happening. At least in part. Enough so that she'd known which song to play. The implication struck me numb; she'd only see a future moment such as this if her blind spot had been removed. As I didn't anticipate dying in this moment, I suddenly understood that path I must take, and I was going to need every ounce of assistance the venom could give me.

A low-buzzing, followed by ambient base electronic beat filled the room, creating an air of suspense.

" _Edward, we'll need to control the twins."_

"Emmett," he called quietly. "Stand with the two junior high kids, okay? Just to be safe. I think Moira's trick involves an element of …danger."

Emmett rushed forward more than eager to assist. In a mock gesture, he took both the twins beside him, nudging them playfully in the hair with his knuckles, looking very much a big brother. The twins, perplexed, and with a reluctant but willing nod from clueless Demetri, allowed themselves to be directed to stand next to the Cullens. Emmett delivered Jane to Jasper, where he placed his hands on her shoulders and steadied her to the spot. Emmett did likewise with his charge.

"Now," I continued in my announcing tone, "prepare to be amazed."

The venom surged into my veins the moment I let go my hold on it. The scent of the crowd, already a low hum to my senses all night long, quickly caused an avalanche of thirst to bound upon me.

 _Focus. You must do this to protect Mathias. And Ren. And everyone._

The game was in motion, and I was past the point of no return, if for no other reason than the audience expected something to happen. Three seconds later, I opened my crimson-ringed black eyes, and saw Demetri shudder in fear as I bore the venom's saturation into my brain. Demetri and I were no strangers. Once, he had fought at my side, and willingly so. In those days, he had been so very young and untested. Now, he was the biggest threat to anyone who would try to escape the Volturi's will. As I approached him, my eyes again shifted as the mental stream I was honing began to burst forth. The Eye of Ra: the blackest of all eyes, not merely the retina, but the entire eye.

Demetri understood. He'd seen me kill too many times in this state. He understood that he was going to die.

"But the accord?" he gasped in desperation.

The last leverage he had, my promise not to raise a battle against the Volturi, my promise not keep a coven; for any coven, no matter how small, would make me too much a threat.

I leaned in close to him, and spoke the last words he would ever hear, making sure they were just loud enough that Jane and Alec would also hear, and carry the message back to Italy.

"I hereby dissolve the accord. The Cullens are mine."

And then it was easy. Easy to let my consciousness flow, to allow the muscle of my ability to flex.

To play out the illusion, I raised up my arms toward the ceiling, though this was purely for show. I did not need to make any physical movement at all, I had only to will him into the air, like some old time show of levitation. But merely making objects fly was not the whole canvas of my strength. No, I could use my will to tear him limb from limb.

I forced his body to hover to a position over the fire pit- _what a great idea that had turned out to be after all. I wonder if Alice_ had _actually seen how I would use it?-_ and then, with a nanosecond of intention, I snapped him in half with my mind. His body dissolved into a myriad of pieces, flesh and bone and venom, and fell as I released my hold. The fire belched black clouds of smoke as each fleck hit it. It had happened too quickly for the humans to comprehend: all they had witnessed was a flying man disappearing into a rising flame and a cloud of smoke. The Cullens and the twins, however, held horror in their gazes.

Demetri was dead. The Volturi tracker was dead. And with nothing more than a decision needed on my part, I could do that same to them faster than they could blink.

Harder and harder I forced myself to draw back the strings, but the seconds were passing away, even as ignorant, foolish students clapped at the charade and hit me on the back in congratulations. I stood stoic with my eyes closed. At least I had pulled back the forces to house within me. But, the venom refused to surrender the ground I had let it gain.

I opened my eyes and looked at Alice, who smiled at me crookedly, because I knew at that moment not the content of what she saw, but that my whole future had become crystal clear to her.

I was not dead, but I had gone too long. I couldn't come back.

Ever.

The anucktumai were dead.

Long live Sekhmet the Destroyer.


	22. Hospice

Emmett folded up the phone and slid it back into his jacket pocket. "Ok, they bought it, but I think they're getting a suspicious."

"She's never been out sick before," Mathias said. "Now, to be out three days in a row? Of course, they're suspicious."

Alec and Jane had fled immediately, not wanting to experience Demetri's fate. Afterwards, Moira silently ascended to the third floor, sat back on her bed, and, to all appearances to the outside world, gone catatonic. Her eyes were still open, and occasionally her lips would twitch or her eyes would dart from one side of the room to the other, but she seemed unreachable. That had been the Friday night of the Boo Ball, nearly five days ago. I still wondered that we were able to get all the students out without a scene.

I looked as Jasper and Edward joined us in the panic room, leaving Esme alone with Moira. My eyes sought out an answer from their remote expressions.

"Any change?"

Jasper sighed, exhaling in frustration, and looked at Moira again on the security camera. "There's nothing there but the most primordial of stirrings. Hunger, obviously, though she seems very adept at suppressing that. Then there's also traces of …. I don't know, remorse? Despair?"

"And Edward, any luck on your side?" Carlisle questioned.

"None. It's like she's in a constant replay loop," he answered. "I'm learning more about history from her recollections than any book I've ever read. But there seems to be nothing new, nothing current, just images of the past."

Mathias audibly scoffed. Edward turned a surprised, amused look to him.

"Saying that before would have been helpful," my father chastised. We all turned towards Mathias beseechingly. "Well, go on, pretty boy, cough it up so everyone knows."

"For vampires with medical degrees, your slowness is startling." Mathias couldn't help but stick in a jab as well. "You're only looking at it from the outside. The venom overtakes her body so quickly, so to you it seems like she crossed in a few seconds. But she's always used her ability to keep her brain isolated from the venom. She literally wills it away, and the anucktumai antivenom has protected her. "

"Yeah, so?"

I shared Rose's bewilderment, not really sure what he was getting at.

"So, what happens when someone crosses?" the gypsy boy continued. "They go through a slow, painfully excruciating human death. This is happening slower to Moira, because the last of the antivenom is still being burned away. Her body is crossed, but her mind is still fighting it, all while any traces of her humanity is eaten away. I know this sounds cliché, but she's seeing her life flash before her eyes."

"But I thought that was supposed to happen in an instant," I argued. Hence the term _flash._

Mathias looked disappointed in me. "If you've only lived seventy or eighty years, it would probably be pretty quick. But what if you'd been alive for nearly six thousand years, all while an ancient vaccine was trying desperately to fight off the infection that was constantly mutating and killing you?"

"Your insights are truly astounding," Carlisle commented. He looked at Mathias with a sense of awe and delight. I cringed, having known the look before myself, and finding it almost condescended; a look that implied the lesser creatures like us would not be expected to make such superhuman achievements of intellect.

"I'd like to take credit, Dr. Cullen, but I only can make these conclusions because Moira always sated my curiosity about your kind and her history," Mathias answered. "She called me her guilty pleasure, a depository for all her anxieties and worries and theories learned from lifetimes of experiences."

Edward had been suppressing the question all of us had been eager to address. "Did she ever tell you how her talent works? How did she do what she did to Demetri?"

"She told me what she understood of it," Mathias answered stoically. "She was the only anucktumai who developed any talent from the change. Maybe it's the reason she was also the only one who survived. It was weak then, but it was just enough of a defense mechanism to keep her safe. She could use her mind to 'push away' attackers. When she was bitten in Egypt by Horus, though, the venom intensified the power drastically, giving her unfathomable- she hates this term, said it always made her feel like a circus act- telekinetic powers. She explained it once as being able to see atoms move, and then tell them which direction to go. Each time she was attacked, and the venom gained ground in her body, it just got stronger. I've seen her rip up a vampire like that a few times. It's probably one of the reasons I'm also one of the most well behaved children in history."

"I can't help but notice that you're speaking about her in the past tense?" Carlisle half-asked, half-stated.

Mathias nodded. "This almost happened to her once before about eight years ago. It took every ounce of her will not kill me. For days, she made me stay locked up in my room, while she hunted in useless attempts to satisfy her thirst. Finally, she was able to overcome it and reverse the effects, but it took weeks." He paused, and spoke again in a tone that suggested he was coming to terms with the consequences of Moira's action. "She's always referred to vampire nature as Sekhmet, like it was another person or like she had a split personality or something. " He pointed to the monitor. "I don't know if it's Moira or Sekhmet who's sitting there. As far as I know, the woman who raised me may be dead in the ways that really matter. And it was all to keep them from getting me."

My heart ached for Mathias. In a mere eighteen years, to have lost a mother twice... Both times, he felt he was to blame. Jasper surprisingly crossed the room from where he and Alice were seated on the floor, and placed his hand compassionately on Mathias's shoulder.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Mathias shrugged. "I'm not really blaming myself, but you can't deny it's true. There were just three of them; if there was only Ren to protect there could have been a diplomatic solution. But don't stand there and tell me to pretend I don't recognize her sacrifice, and deny that I am the reason that sacrifice was necessary. Of course I'm the reason she did what she did. But I won't question it. She played the only card and sacrificed the only thing she had: her last ties to humanity to preserve all of mine. How could I deny her that sacrifice?"

Reverence filled the room as Mathias echoed Moira's sentiments for Sorin's decisions. I could withhold no longer, feeling waves of hurt on Mathias's behalf. Even with all my family staring, even if my father would chastise me a thousand times for showing no decorum, I rushed to Mathias's side and took him in my arms. I forced my lips over his, not giving him a chance to protest. He answered in kind, throwing his arms around me and pulling me into him. He greedily drank in every ounce of solace my kiss offered him.

I broke apart from him after a few moments when both of us could no longer deny our need to breathe. I laid my head on his shoulder and he coiled his arms around my head, stroking my hair.

"It's okay," he cooed. "If she hadn't done what she did, I would have done anything to protect you. Even if they found out about me. I wouldn't care."

My family looked at us, jaws gapping. It was one thing for Edward and Bella to be aware of a physical attraction I felt for a human, it was another thing altogether to see the ramifications of that action played out in front of them. Their contemptuous looks pulled my soul into shreds. The conclusion they drew and the sentiments they felt were practically written in their eyes: How could I betray Jacob so blatantly?

They were ashamed of me, and that made me ashamed of myself.

But I was starting to believe in fate. If fate wanted me with so strongly to be with Mathias, having arranged so many otherwise unexplained _coincidences_ in our path, then what point was there in fighting it? If fate wanted me to go in another direction, it would find a way to tell me.

Bella looked down at her pocket as her cell phone buzzed. Who would call her, when all the family was present? Alice gave a little panicked gasp, and the rest of us tossed our heads and worries directly at the phone as Bella flipped it open.

"Hello?" she said softly. "Oh, hello, Mr. Jenks, how are you?"

Fate, thou fickle bitch.

My pulse raced, both from anxiety and guilt. With the taste of Mathias still on lips, I plunged into remorse knowing that the head defense lawyer of Jacob's trial was calling my mother. My Jacob! Who had sacrificed his own freedom for ours, with no thought of himself or his self-interests. And how I had repaid him? By playing kissy kissy with the first cute boy who looked my way.

"Really?" Bella asked of the other party. "I thought you said it would be another two weeks, at least. We were planning to be there… So when will that be? … Well, I'm shocked, to tell the truth. We would jump on the next plane, but we have a family crisis going on and I'm not sure that's possible right now. Is there any chance you could delay it? … That might work. Let me know if you can pull it or now. We'll make every attempt to be there. Thanks for calling. We appreciate all the work."

She closed the phone and looked right at me. "The defense rested. Jenks says he can probably delay until Monday, but the jury is being sent into deliberations. He says, it doesn't look… promising."

For a moment, I could have sworn my heart had stopped.

Jacob was going to be convicted.

Jacob was going to be convicted of a murder he had not committed.

Jacob was going to be convicted of a murder _I_ had committed.

"We have to go back," Rosalie said without delay. We all snapped our heads in amazement. "I know. You're surprised that I care so much- or at all- about the mutt. But, he's _our_ mutt. Jacob is a part of our family, and someone told me once, we defend our family."

"Yes, but we can't just leave Moira behind in her current state. Given that it is the result of actions she took partly on our behalf, we owe it to her. The Volturi will seek revenge for Demetri. We'll have a better chance of defending her back in Forks with the help of the wolves," Carlisle added at his pragmatic nature returned. "Nor can we leave behind Mathias. I'm sure even now, they've probably discovered his existence from the school records, if nothing else. They both need to come with us."

"Are you suggesting we take a catatonic newborn into a crowded airport and then just see if she can keep her thirst in check while we fly six hours across country?" Jasper argued.

"No, you're going to drive her," Alice broke in, closing her eyes and focusing on the vision that was playing out in her mind. "The rest of us are leaving tonight from Bangor. I have to say, Jazz, I'm a little jealous. Too bad the Veyron is only a two seater."

"Ren, are you okay?"

Mathias had loosened his embrace and was holding me at arm's length. My body was stiff and unyielding. My mind was racing to comprehend the news from Washington.

"This can't be happening."

I was still stuck on Bella's comments from a few moments earlier. _Things don't look… promising._

"Jacob is going to prison? They can't… I mean, he never…. How will I…."

Mathias pulled me back to him gently as the tears began to trickle down my face.

"You love him terribly, don't you, Ren?" he whispered.

It felt wrong and right at the same time, to be in the arms of one love, professing my love for the other.

"I cannot live without him," I admitted. "Oh, Mathias, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you…"

"Shh," he cooed, stroking my face. "Oh, Ren. You still haven't surrendered to her, but Fate is going to help you out again. I'm going to make this right for you. If he's what you need to be happy, then I'm going to make sure you two are together."

Edward's face sparked happiness. I was confused; it hardly seemed we had anything to be happy about. His gaze turned again to Mathias, this time not full of contempt, but alive with gratitude and revelry. Now my breath stopped, as he pulled me out Mathias's embrace and hugged him himself.

"I can't believe you'd do that for us," Edward cried. "Thank you."

My emotional roller coaster was coming close to derailing. I couldn't take the suspense. What was he talking about?

"Um, you're… welcome?" Mathias asked. He was as clearly in shock as the rest of us. "But let's see if works before you thank me. I can't control my talents as easily as you can, and they are nowhere near as potent. But Dr. Cullen's is right. We can't leave Moira behind. I _won't_ leave her behind. We got to snap her back to reality."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Matt. It will be easier to transport her if I don't have to be constantly concentrating on nullifying her," Jasper stated.

"It's too much of a risk to leave her disconnected," Alice contradicted. "Mathias is right. She needs to 'wake up.' If you decide to take her without that, there's a good chance that half way through, she comes to and uses her ability to shred you when you try to keep her from hunting. We need to make sure she's up and has hunted, and you'll be leaving in 64 minutes, so we'd better get on it."

"But how?" Edward asked Alice.

"I know how."

Mathias's voice was overconfident as usual. Edward pulled back and looked at him again, this time concerned.

"And you think that will work?"

Mathias nodded. "I know it will. What better way to get a vampire's attention then the scent of freshly spilled human blood? I'll slice a finger open. Just a few drops should bring her round. If you think you all can control yourselves, let's get to it."

"No!" I cried, pushing Edward aside and throwing myself back at him. "Mathias, you don't understand. It's not that easy. If one of us doesn't kill you, she will. And we're no match for her if she decides to fight her way to you."

"Boy, you're going to fight fate every step, aren't you?" Mathias laughed. "But if you need reassurance, we'll rely on your empirical data. Alice, is this going to work? Will Moira kill me?"

Alice closed her eyes and searched out the future. Her eyes opened, looking confused. "It will bring her around, only…" She looked at me revealingly. "…human blood. All I see is blood. No, Mathias will be fine."

I understood. Yes, he would be fine. He would be fine because he would be locked behind the titanium door in the safety of the panic room. Fate was playing cards, all right, and she had just dealt us a royal flush.

Human blood would snap Moira out of her withdrawn state.

My human blood.

"Nessie, no," Edward protested as the conclusion crossed my mind, snatching me from Mathias's arms and lecturing me. "We'll have a hard enough time controlling ourselves, let alone fighting back Sekhmet. If this is Mathias's decision, I don't approve, but I will not stop him. But you are our daughter, and I will not allow you to put yourself in this danger."

I smiled at him, but he could see I had already surrendered myself to the decision. Alice was tracking with us.

"We're going to make this work, but it's going to take all of us," she declared. "Jazz, you'll need to be there, too. You need to control her emotionally as much as possible. Edward, you'll need to track her thoughts so we can anticipate her movements. Bella, we'll need you to try and shield her from using her power to hurt any of us. Carlisle and Esme will protect Nessie if Moira does manage to attack. Emmett and Rosalie, you're going to try to pin Moira down to the bed until we get a handle on her."

"This is ridiculous!" Bella protested, throwing herself in front of me. "No one is laying a hand on my daughter. Besides, how would we even get to her blood short of ripping her apart ourselves? Her skin is too strong to pierce."

Mathias opened a drawer under the bank of security monitors and dug around. He pulled a small cigar box from the bottom and opened, it up, revealing a set of six bullets, individually mounted on a holding frame. He carefully removed one and held it up for all of us to see. Unlike most bullets, it was not rocket-shaped and smooth. Its contours were jagged, and its tip looked more like a needle.

"I thought Moira was crazy when she had these made last year," he explained. "Guess she was just being innovative."

"You monster!" Bella hissed, crouching down in a defensive pose. "You think you're going to shoot my daughter?"

"No! No! No! Calm yourself, Mrs. Cullen, that not what I'm saying at all," Mathias assured her, the briefest moment of terror crossing his face. "These aren't bullets. They're diamond cut router bits. With a little force, they should be able to break even your skin."

"This could work." Jasper began to nod. "I don't think I could hold back from Mathias's blood, but from Nessie's, I won't be tempted."

"Are you sure, Jazz?" Bella shot him an accusatory glance. "This wouldn't be the first time you gave in to temptation."

This was curious. When had Jasper lost control?

"Bella, I can never take back that day, but I do take it with me. I will never hurt Renesmee. I couldn't deal with the guilt a second time."

"We know you won't," Carlisle spoke up. "This plan seems extreme, but we don't have the luxury of time to plan something better. If Nessie is certain she wants to take the chance?" I nodded. "Then, we will respect that decision. Let's do this then. If we are leaving tonight, we have a lot to do."

Resolve emboldened me as I took the drill bit from Mathias hand and pushed it into my pocket. The others began to file downstairs as Mathias lingered behind. When the room was empty, I turned to him apprehensively.

"Seal the doors," I instructed. "Watch on the monitor. If this goes wrong somehow, I want you here, safe. And don't come out until whoever it is that is left standing is gone. If a frenzy starts and I'm killed, their instincts will draw them up these stairs faster than you could scream for help or get away."

"Thank you," he muttered, pulling me into a merely friendly embrace. "Thank you for taking this chance for her sake."

"Mathias, she did what she did to protect both us," I concurred. "And I will not squander it. I will not deny her that sacrifice, either."


	23. Horns

"So on the count of three?"

Everyone took position. I stood at the far end of the room, Esme and Carlisle on my left and right, Edward and Bella squarely in front of me.

Carlisle laid out his instructions. "Rose, Emmett, hold her to the bed. Not too tightly! Once she realizes she's bound, her instincts will make her fight."

Jasper and Alice stood at the end of the bed, one monitoring the sensations of the present, the other trying to predict the outcomes of the future. I knew what I was doing involved risk, but with six vampires between Moira and I, and another two pinning her down, the danger seemed mitigated. I looked at Moira's face, into her black eyes – how I already missed the jade - and for a moment swore I saw her mouth part ever so slightly as if to say something.

"There was a glimmer of thought there for a second," Edward said. "Too fast to make it out. Jazz- anything?"

He smiled. "She's hopeful."

My heart warmed. "Well, then, let's share that, shall we?"

I fished the drill bit from my pocket and placed its tip over my index finger. My eyes scanned the room and its faces. I waited for everyone to take a deep breath. They would not breathe after I had made the puncture unless absolutely necessary.

 _Here goes nothing_.

I pushed the needle of the bit as hard as I could. My skin dimpled, but refused to puncture.

"It won't work," I concluded in defeat after several more tries. "I can't break the surface."

Carlisle began to speak hesitantly. Giving someone advice on how to intentionally harm themselves was against his programming. "The skin on your fingertip is too thick. Try the inside of your wrist."

"Are you telling her to slash her wrist?" Esme protested.

"It should heal fast enough, and the blood will pool up faster."

I moved the drill bit over my wrist and pushed. At first, it wouldn't budge. It needed leverage. It needed force.

"Oh, to hell with it!" I shouted, pulling the bit up in the like a dagger and plunging it down over my pulsating vein. The pain was more than I had suspected. I couldn't stop the profanity that was tripping off my tongue. " _Son of a bitch_!"

Bella screamed my name, but it was too late to stop. The bit broke the skin, and I thought perhaps I had hit it too hard. The blood was hardly gushing, but it streamed out in a steady drip, falling to the floor.

"This is too much," Edward coughed out as he covered his mouth with his arm. "It's not working. Her thoughts haven't changed at all. Nessie, put pressure on the vein, stop the bleeding. The scent is too much like…"

"….like Bella's blood," Rosalie gasped. Her eyes zeroed in on the scarlet drips falling from my wrist. Already, the wound was healing over, but at least a quarter-sized pool had fallen to the floor. She lifted herself off Moira and began to slither through the room.

"Rose, baby, get a hold of yourself. That's Nessie," Emmet begged, throwing his whole body over Moira to make up for her loss as a precaution. It didn't look as though it would matter, Moira had not stirred. "Remember what Moira said. Nessie's blood is poison."

"Oh, I won't hurt her," Rose answered in a tenor syrupy sweet. It was too unlike her normal flippant self. It was the soothing voice of the predator trying to lull its prey into submission. "I just want to get a little closer, she just smells too… delicious."

Carlisle pushed me behind him, and grabbed a towel from the nearby dresser top. He threw it atop the pool of my blood, and wiped it around with his feet while never breaking eye contact with Rosalie.

"Rosalie, you're prowling my daughter!" Bella growled. "Back off."

"Come on, Bella, you can't keep her all to yourself," Rosalie answered. "I'll share. I promise."

"Rosalie, please, don't!" I begged. "You'll die if you do."

She smiled wickedly, licking her lips.

I didn't quite catch what exactly happened next. I saw Rosalie pounce, and saw Edward intercept her in midair in the midst of snarls and hisses. Carlisle pushed me back to the wall, his arms splayed out in front to use his body as a block. Jasper and Alice rushed forward and tried to pull Edward and Rosalie apart. Emmett had left Moira, but found himself fixated on the drips of blood still glistening on my wrist, unable to move. Esme kept my mother restrained, but couldn't hold out long the way Bella lashed about.

Then, everything stopped. No one moved.

Not a single muscle.

I tried to ascertain the situation, but in my frozen state, I could barely see around Carlisle's body postured in front of me. I couldn't talk, but I guessed neither could they. No one made a sound. I thought I saw a flash of movement on the other end of the room. Even my lungs refused to function. I couldn't breathe. My body screamed out for oxygen, oxygen it was now powerless to take in. The room darkened. Then I heard Bella moan in torment, a slowly building grunt, which burst from her lips in crescendo to a snarl. She had managed to throw her shield over us. We all fell to the floor as the hold was released. I gagged and coughed as my lungs pulled every gasp they could. Then, I raised my head, and looked to the bed.

She stood, silent and unflinching. Her countenance screamed out vampire. Her skin was still bronze, but frosted, her eyes no longer jade, but midnight black. She was like a gorgeous statue unearthed from ancient ruins.

"Moira?" I asked as I regained my ability to talk. "Did you do that?"

She tilted her head curiously, looking at me not so unlike Rosalie had done just a few moments before.

"Moira?" sShe scoped out the room, trying to place herself in her surroundings. "I think… I think Moira is dead."

She looked down at her hands, turning them over repeatedly. Her hands sank to her wrists, rubbing them gently and searching them out.

"The scars are gone," she muttered.

I wasn't quite sure then what set her off. None of us had moved at all. Her head jerked up and as the breath caught in the back of her throat. She threw herself backwards against the wall, taking a defensive position. She was terrified, but from what I couldn't tell.

"No, it's okay Moira, they're gone," Edward said, walking forward carefully but determined. He spoke to us over his shoulder. "She's remembering the guard at the ball. They left right after, Moira. We swept the woods and the village. It looks like they left the Lock just as quickly as possible. After all, you did give them quite a fright. … Oh, you don't remember."

"What?" Carlisle asked. "I thought you said she just remembered them at the ball?"

"She did, but she doesn't remember everything," Edward answered. "She's still a little disorientated."

"You were wonderful, Moira," Alice smiled. "You killed Demetri in front of a whole crowd of humans, and none of them the wiser."

"I killed Demetri?" Her voice was confused, incredulous. "I would never do that. I would never break the accord that foolishly."

I stepped forward as I licked the last drops of blood off my wrist. The wound was already healed over. Luckily, it seemed my own blood held no appeal or threat for me. Jasper moved to stop me, but Edward read my mind and knew my intent.

"It's okay, Jasper, I think she'll be okay," he said.

Jasper turned to Alice, asking with his expression if she agreed.

"I don't see Moira doing anything," Alice concurred.

Still, Edward would be overly cautious. He walked immediately next to me as I came within a few feet of the bed. Moira cast me a curious gaze.

"Moira, would you like me to show you what happened?"

I held up my hands in offering. She just looked at them for a moment in wonder. Had her swiss cheese memory forgotten my ability? Just as I thought to pull back, the tension eased from her frame, and she took graceful, gentle, vampire-light steps to the end of the bed. As she stepped off, we all marveled as her feet seemed not to react to the gravity. Instead, they veritably _floated_ like a feather, drifting in slow motion to meet the carpet.

Emmet gasped. "Whoa! Now I know where the myth came from on that one."

"Myth?" Jasper asked quizzically.

"Yeah, that vampires can fly," he said. "I always thought it was because of the way we jump."

"Stay focused," I rebuked him. This was not the time to speculate of the origins of vampire lore. "Moira, I'm going to put my hands on your face. That usually make things the clearest. Is it okay?"

She acquiesced. Placing my palms on her cheeks, I called up the memory of being locked in the tower and watching things happen on a security camera three floors beneath us, powerless to stop them.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"Mathias, I have to go down there! Those are Volturi guard. I have to help them. Open this door!"

"I know who they are!" Mathias shouted. "Ren, what do you think you're going to do? That's Jane and Alec. They'll have you withering blindly in pain by the time you take three steps across the room."

"I can't just stay here and do nothing!" I protested, running to the door and trying to discover the secret to its disengagement. "My family is in danger. Maybe if I can create a distraction, they can run for it. Edward will hear my thoughts. He'll tell them when to move."

"They could run all the way to China and back, they're not going to outmaneuver Demetri," he said, pointing at the guard. "He's the Volturi's tracker. He's probably the reason they found their way here to begin with."

He was defeating me at every turn. My voice quavered as my hands began to shake. "So what then? Just sit here and wait to see what happens?"

"Yes, we sit here, and wait to see what happens," he repeated as confirmation, pulling up a chair from the wall and setting it in front of the bank of monitors. "We put our faith in fate, and wait."

"Fuck your god damned fate, Mathias!" I screamed, pulling him away from the chair by his roman chest guard and throwing him against the door. "Let me show you what your fucking fate is going to be if you don't open this god damned door RIGHT NOW!"

"Ren, you're overreacting," he said calmly. "Look, even if it is the guard, it's just three of them. There are seven very powerful, very united vampires down there, not to mention Sekhmet! You think three Volturi guards are going to be any threat?"

"They are tentacles on the same octopus," I answered through clenched teeth. "If you saw off one, it doesn't kill it. But it makes the octopus pretty fucking mad."

"Cursing doesn't become you." His eyes reassessed me, looking to make sure I was listening intently. He issued me an outright demand. "Ren, stop using such profane language. You're offending my delicate sensibilities."

"Let me tell you what I think of your fu-"

His disappointed eyes locked onto mine. He clicked his tongue and shook his head disapprovingly. Reluctantly, I withdrew my hostility.

"Fine!" I pouted. "Let's just see what happens. But, the second something goes wrong, you open this door, so I can rip the Volturi's throats out myself."

"That's more like it." He reproached the chair and motioned for me to sit. "Now."

With a huff, I gave up and sat to watch the calamity unfold.

Mathias leaned over the screen while using a small joystick to pan and zoom the camera in closer. "Now, you see, no fist fight yet. They're just talking. That's one thing you should remember about the Volturi. They're a bunch of power-hungry, manipulative asses, but they like to give the appearance that they are seasoned diplomats. They'll talk up a storm before anything breaks. Esme is… no false alarm. See, nothing happening. They'll probably just spout a bunch of nonsensical rhetoric and leave."

In the next moment, it became apparent that they were not to confine themselves to mere rhetoric.

"Daddy!" I shouted as he doubled over in pain. I jumped out of the chair and threw myself at Mathias. "Please, Mathias. PLEASE! Let me out."

"No, Ren, look. It's already over. Your mom must have stopped the attack."

I glanced back to the screen. Sure enough, Bella had leaned down over Edward, and I could see that his body grow still.

"Wait a moment, is Moira _announcing_ something? Hmm, she seems to be trying intentionally to get everyone's attention."

"Why?" I asked.

Mathias was more in tune with her tendencies. I could see from the monitor that my family was allowing her to speak on their behalf. Her actions would determine theirs.

"I think that she's calling their bluff," he theorized. "The guard don't just show up randomly or catch the first flight in. They must have been waiting and watching for the perfect time to spring into play. If they're here tonight, it's because _they_ need the protection of a crowd. They know that our family will not expose themselves and jeopardize our cover. Very smart, Moira. Use it against them."

I smiled, also seeing the genius of her ploy. "I get it. She's saying if I can't come after you, then you also can't come after me." I paused and reflected on his words. " _Our_ family?"

"Your family is allowing Moira to represent them," he answered. "That makes us a de facto coven. Welcome to the family, sis."

He leaned over and kissed me, very platonically, on the cheek.

"Great, all we need, more incestuous siblings," I groaned. "Wait, why did the image just go dim?"

Mathias for the first time appeared perplexed. "Because someone lowered the lights. Why would she…"

He trailed off as we both strained our eyes and labored to interpret the now fuzzy images on the monitor. The bodies seemed shapeless and amalgamated, but Moira's feline eyes practically glowed in the dark, presenting two distinct reflective orbs that floated like binary spirits through the grainy image.

Then, they disappeared.

"What just happened?" I asked.

Mathias found another switch on the panel and flipped it. In block letters, the words NIGHT MODE flashed over all the monitors. The ballroom's stream became vibrant again; only, in the clarity I could not understand what I was seeing. Jane and Alec were now being restrained by Emmett and Jasper, and Demetri was slowly rising off the floor with Moira's arms outstretched towards him. It was like she had him on an invisible spite, and was putting him on the fire to cook. In a burst of smoke, he was gone.

"What… What just… What did she do?" I stumbled. I looked around the room on both monitors, but could see Demetri nowhere. "Did she _transport_ him somewhere? Is that possible?"

"No, Ren, this isn't _Star Trek,"_ Mathias returned _._ His voice was low and serious. He cupped his chin in his hand and stroked it. "I think she killed him."

My scoffing took him off guard, and he parked his eyes up at me.

"You honestly think that a vampire can be killed so easily?"

"By Sekhmet, yes," he answered sincerely.

The matter-of-factness of his tone told me that he had no doubt, and that neither should I. But his eyes suggested there was something more. My expression became curiously stricken, wanting him to share his thoughts. Finally, he spoke.

"This isn't good."

On the monitor, I saw conflicting reactions. The crowd had believed that the whole series of events was some staged form of entertainment, and even up in the tower, the sound of applause rose up in waves. Jane and Alec were dumbfounded, and moments later made graceful haste through the cheering crowd, down the stairs, and out the front door. My family was somewhere in between, looking abhorrently reverent.

"She just killed a Volturi guard," Mathias stated. "Fuck me, she broke the accord."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"How long have I been out?" Moira suddenly queried, breaking from her revelry.

"Almost five days," I answered.

"Mathias?"

I smiled comfortingly at her. "Perfectly safe in the panic room."

Turning around to the camera, I waved at him. Moira's eyes flashed up for a moment, and then she slammed her eyes shut and tried to suppress her breathing to no avail. The thoughts racing through her mind must have been overwhelming; she began to draw in short, raspy breathes like a child having an asthma attack.

"Moira, you need to hunt," Edward declared, cautiously laying his hands on her shoulders and giving a gentle shake. Her eyes flickered open and shot daggers at him. Edward just smiled and tapped his temple indicatively with his index finger. "You know you can't hide it from me, so don't try. There's no shame in the thought- that's only instinct. We can discuss everything else afterwards. Emmett and Jasper will go with you. I think the sooner the better, for Mathias's safety… and for Nessie's. Go, Moira."

"Please," she whimpered. "Please, stop calling me that."

Edward nodded to her acknowledge her silent thoughts. "Okay, if that's what you'd prefer, Sekhmet."

"Edward, I agree that she should hunt, but we need to address our urgencies with her first," Carlisle said from somewhere behind us. I could hear his gentle footsteps approach. "Moira… Sekhmet, our obligations to other family members require us to go back to Washington for a few days. We'd like for you to join us so we can help you to adjust more easily."

Sekhmet laughed basely. "You mean, so you can help keep me from going to a feeding spree. Let's call a spade a spade, Carlisle. What about Mathias?"

"We think he should come with us too, given that the Volturi will be out for revenge for Demetri, and Mathias could get caught in the crossfire."

Sekhmet paused contemplatively. "I'm not certain that's a good idea, Carlisle. I am using every ounce of my will right now not to rip up those stairs and take him as it is."

"He will be safe with us," Edward assured her. He turned back towards Carlisle. "We can keep Mathias out in the cottage, and ask Leah and Seth to stay nearby. And Bella, Nessie and I, of course."

Me too? Staying at the cottage with Mathias? Was my father insane? He flashed a quick glance at my chest, and I understood his reasoning. He had to keep the sound of my beating heart away from her.

Sekhmet pondered the offer, and softly answered. "Okay, but I can't be anywhere near him now, let alone sit on a plane with him. The term 'moveable feast' comes to mind. Ah, but I can see by your all-knowing expressions that you've already planned for that, too. So, who's driving?"

Jasper's smirk was accompanied by a slight indicative nod.

"And we'll be leaving when?"

Alice took a few steps forward. "As soon as you've eaten."

"Well, then, let's see if we can track down some deer before then, shall we?" Sekhmet motioned to the door, and Emmett and Jasper exited on cue. With a sly smile and a glance at Edward, she too took her leave.

"I'll tell them," Edward said as she left.

"Tell us what?" Esme asked.

"She wants us to start preparing, and she wants us to know how sorry she is," Edward answered. "She says she didn't know what else to do when the guard showed up, and something about 'maybe there is such a thing as fate.'"

My teeth clenched. "Fate" was quickly becoming the worst four-lettered word I had ever heard.

Bella placed herself in Edward's embrace. He pulled her tightly and kissed her cheeks. It was like she instinctively could sense that he needed to be comforted. Rosalie, however, was still unsatisfied with the lack of information.

"Edward, are you going to let the rest of us know what we're supposed to be preparing for?"

Bella shot her a coursing look. After all the confusion, I remembered that Rosalie had almost given into temptation, that she had almost attacked me. Despite this, I felt no animosity. I knew the presence of human blood was a nearly undeniable pull to every member of my family. I was only lucky that just one found that pull too hard to resist.

"She isn't asking for fealty, but she said that our chances will be better if we trust her leadership," Edward cryptically continued. "I think I agree. After seeing her memories of history, there is probably no better general to front our efforts."

"My goodness, Edward, will you just spit it out?" Alice lambasted. "I can see it forming on the horizon so clearly. There's no point in dragging it out."

Edward kissed Bella's forehead, and surrendered himself into her gaze.

"It seems that Sekhmet and the Volturi have quite a long and hostile history, and that they've only endured without major conflict due to an accord reached back in 598," he said. "But by killing Demetri to save us, she has broken the accord."

Alice was fed up with his dawdling narrative. She turned around to the others standing in the back of the room and summoned it all up very concisely.

"They want more than revenge. Due to the other night's events, they see Sekhmet and us as two sides of the same problem. We are too much of a threat now to be left unchecked."

Edward got the message and concluded the inevitable outcome.

"A war is coming."


	24. En Route

{Moira}

"It's okay if you don't want to talk," Jasper said as we got on the I-90 turnpike outside of Boston. "It's also okay, though, if you do."

Our first few hours had been spent in silence, which I was, in fact, tiring of despite how preemptive of explanations or interrogations it allowed me to be. It wasn't as though we could make an entire cross country journey in such a small car and not say anything the whole trip. More than that, I suspected by the way he occasionally shot a glance at me from the corner of his eye the he craved for me to talk. I just wasn't sure he'd be ready for any of the things I might say, or not say, if he asked the wrong questions.

"About?"

"You can keep as straight a face as you want, but I can feel your conflict," he said. "It's common for a newborn. It's all about finding balance, taming your demons. It takes practice, and time. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"You do realize that I am intimately familiar with how long it took to build Rome, don't you?" I reminded him with a chortle. "You propose to orientate me to the troubles of being a new born? Jasper, I was feeding off Canaanites when Moses was in diapers."

"Not the same."

Again, a laugh. "Not the same how?"

"You can't go back now," he said starkly.

The simple truth sobered me. "True enough."

He smiled lucidly as the Veyron's engine eased itself up to ninety in seconds of pulling away from the ticket gate. "It won't take you long to adjust. You'll be more like Bella was."

"And how was Bella?"

"Impressive," he said. "From the moment she woke, she was able to focus her will and avoid the instinct to kill humans. She broke off mid-hunt on her very first day after catching a human's scent. She still has a clean record. Edward is so proud of her."

"Edward would be proud of her if she folded a bed sheet in half," I quipped. "I've never seen a bound so strong. I almost feel like if I tripped one, it would be the other who fell. It must be nauseating to have the perception of so much lust and love all the time."

"I spend most my time pretending to be a high school student. Edward and Bella? Gooey but real. I'd forgo every single teenage drama queen if it meant I had to be tied to them at the hip. Though, yes, it does get a little overwhelming at times. It was the worst right after Bella's change. Thank god they moved out to the cottage, so at least I could focus my nights on just blocking out the others. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

My head shook dismissively. Jasper's words had invoked a recollection of Sorin. I wondered what he would think of me now. He probably would have been proud of me, too, like Edward for his Bella, never seeing my shortcomings, never questioning my sanctity in his eyes. In passing moments like these, I could almost close my eyes and feel his embrace. I had had other lovers since, but I had never loved again.

"We all have grief for which we can find no words," I returned. "Sorin in mine. You're right. It is different this time. This time I feel so… alien. My mind never interrupted time like this before. I think that's why I got caught up in my past for those few days. It was like someone pushed a giant reset button my brain, and everything had to reload. Tell me, Jasper, what do you sense coming from me?"

He glanced at me askew.

"Everything. I guess that's to be expected. You're like emotional gumbo: anger, relief, thirst, curiosity, regret, hope, jealousy." He paused. "Anticipation."

"Anticipation?" I repeated, looking out the window at the landscape passing by. "For what?"

"I'm not Edward. I can't read your mind. But, I suspect, the same thing I am," he answered. "War."

Ah, he was intuitive. "Almost. I'm anticipating war, because I'm anticipating what it will be like to finally die."

"You think it's hopeless than?" he asked.

"No, not hopeless, but I'm far too long in the tooth to know it will be without sacrifice," I answered. "I pray that our efforts are not in vain. In the end, I will do what I must to ensure a victory. You were a soldier once, too. You know that some times, the general must throw himself on the sword."

"How would your death be of any benefit to us?" he reproachfully asked. "You have a martyr complex."

"No, I think that if necessary I can…." No, I could not let him know too much. "I think I have a weapon of last resort. But, I need to talk with someone first to know for sure. I just have no idea where to find him, so it's going to be a bit of a challenge."

He threw me curiosity-filled gaze, mixed with a little hurt.

"I'm not saying I don't trust you."

"I'm not the only one who can read emotions, then?"

"When it's so plain on your face?" I coaxingly asked. "If my theory is correct… if _Sorin's_ theory was correct, and you knew, it would only take one touch from Aro and the cat would be out of the bag. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to keep it to myself."

"I can respect that."

We drove on for another two hours as the sun began to set. We pulled into a lonely gas station in north-west Pennsylvania to fill the gas tank.

"Thirsty?" Jasper asked as we entered the Alleghany. "We could probably pull over and find something."

"I can go a little longer. Let's wait until later. I don't want to have any… mistakes."

"Sure. Can I ask you something off topic?" he said after another hour of silence. "I have shared with you my history. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say I know more about newborns than the others. But I'm intrigued at your eyes. Our eyes darken to black over days or sometimes weeks. Yours went from jade to black in the space of a minute. How is that possible?"

"Have you ever baked a turkey, Mr. Hale?" I could have slapped myself at the ridiculousness of the question as soon as it was out. "Okay, bad example. Instead, take the Veyron as example. Does it use more gas when it's going 20 or 200? You see my point. Just so you're clear, you can cook a turkey in five hours at 325, but if you can roast it at 600, you'll get it done in 45 minutes. You ask about my eyes, because you're used to newborn's eyes being bright red as the venom isolates and feeds off the last of their human blood. I had no human blood left. My altered blood was like jet fuel for the venom, it burned through it in moments."

He seemed satisfied with explanation. "Fair enough."

Three more hours, and hundreds of miles of road.

"Who is he, the one you need to talk to?"

I was surprised he was able to abate his wonder for so long.

"A very good friend," I said. "I haven't spoken to him since WWII. He was nomadic at that time, but I heard he's settled down since then. That should make him easier to find. But, I'm not really sure who to call to find him. It's not like Felix is going to be furnishing me with any information right now."

"Why would your vampire know Felix?" Jasper asked suspiciously.

"He was a member of the guard once," I answered. One of the lucky few who got away before the Volturi corrupted his soul. "His name is Eleazar."

Jasper nearly snorted through his laugh. He pulled out his phone and had the number dialed before I could realize what he was doing. He handed it to me with a smile.

"Tell him I said hi."

The other end of the line had already answered by the time I fought off my astonishment and put the phone to my ear.

" _Jasper? How are you?"_ the thick Catalonian accented man asked.

My joy overtook me, and I almost felt as though I could cry. "¿Eleazar, es realmente usted, mi amigo?"

There was a long pause as he tried to place the unexpected voice. _"¿Quién es esto? ¿Por qué tiene el teléfono de Jasper?"_

"It really is you!" I screamed. Jasper looked at me as though I was crazy. "Mathias will never let me live this down now. Imagine you knowing the Cullens!"

" _Akeldama?"_ he asked. " _Is it possible?"_

"Yes, Eleazar! It's me, though I'm not called Akeldama anymore."

" _I cannot believe this! I haven't spoken to you in, what, sixty years?"_

"Yes, remember our motto? Next year…"

"… _in Volterra! Si, recuerdo. How has this happened? How has it come to pass that you have Jasper Hale's phone?"_

I sighed out my unused oxygen. "It's a long story. I hate to cut to the chase, El, but I really need your help."

" _Of course, Dulcinea mia, you have but to ask."_

"I am heartened to hear it. I hate to ask you something so out of the blue, but is it possible for you to come to Forks, Washington in the next few days. I am need of your technical expertise."

There was a longer pause this time, so much so that I grew worried that I had asked too much.

"Or… I could come to you…."

" _No, I'm sorry for the silence. It is only- it is not possible for me to come to Forks right now."_

I was crestfallen. But, really, what could I expect? It wasn't as though he had sat by his phone for sixty years awaiting an invitation from me.

"I understand," I said defeated. "I really should have had no expectation that you could just…"

" _No, do not misunderstand!" he interrupted. "I cannot_ come _in the next few days, because I am_ already _here."_

Jasper's head snapped my way in amazement. He ripped the phone from my grasp and opened the speaker.

"What do you mean you're already in Forks?"

" _It seemed the right place to go, like last time."_

"Like last time?" I asked.

" _Yes, like last time they came after her. We assumed that is what they were going to do again."_

I couldn't quite figure out how I'd gotten so lost, or why Jasper seemed to be so in sync with Eleazar's quixotic statements. "I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?"

" _The Volturi have put out a call. They are preparing for battle. Perhaps we concluded wrong, but we felt that our place was with the Cullen's."_

We.

Were.

So.

Seriously.

Screwed.


	25. Etched in Stone

{Renesmee}

"Nessie, we're here."

I couldn't remember which day it was, let alone how to open my eyes. The voices of Edward and Bella carried on in conversation from the two first class seats across the aisle.

"Are they here?"

"Yes, Seth is waiting at the baggage claim. It looks like Leah came, too. Separate cars."

"So, they're not talking."

"Not right now, no."

As I opened my eyes, I found my vision impeded by the folds of leather. At some point in the night, I had tucked my head into Mathias's chest. I discovered the weight I perceived on my back was, in fact, his right arm.

"Cherries," I muttered as I enveloped his scent. "Wow, that _is_ a nice way to wake up. You'll make some girl very happy someday."

I turned my face to his as his eyes beamed at me.

"It could still be you, Ren. Just say the word," he smiled as he lowered his head and kissed my brow.

I lifted my hand to his cheek and gave him a playful slap. Even as gentle as I tried to be, the impact drew concern from some of the surrounding passengers.

"Nessie!" Bella rebuked.

"It's okay, Bella," Mathias interjected, rubbing the red swell on his cheek. "I'm sure I deserved it."

Edward leaned in close across the aisle and gave us both _the look_. "Try not to deserve it anymore. We're in public."

" _In loco parentis, Dad?"_

He smirked without further comment. Mathias presented Edward with a military salute. I couldn't suppress a momentary giggle as I sat up and stretched.

"What time is it?" I yawned.

"Three-fifteen in the morning," Bella answered. "Sun will be coming up in about four hours or so, and unfortunately not a cloud in the sky for once. We'll have to be swift."

Mathias insisted on hauling both of our hastily packed carry-on bags through the airport himself, though I could have carried that and him with more ease, as I thoroughly tried to convince him. For once, Edward came to his defense.

"The boy's been raised right," he said as he himself totted both his and Bella's bag. "Both you and Bella and this modern age! It doesn't make you any less of a woman to be treated like a lady."

"Indulge Edward on this, Renesmee," Bella scoffed. "He is so terribly old-fashioned on these things."

Mathias rushed forward to the double doors and hinged them open. "I couldn't agree more," he said. " _Madames et Monsieurs, entre-vous, s'il-vous plait_."

I conjured up my best impression of a southern belle, batting my eyelashes and agitating an imaginary fan over my eyes. "Why, thank you kindly, dear sir."

He quietly waited for our entire eight-member party to pass through. At the far end of the baggage claim, by belt #3, I spotted the "welcoming party" at the same time that they spotted us. Bella practically squealed as she ran forward a little faster than was probably wise, and threw herself into Seth's hug.

"Little brother!"

"Big sis!"

Even Leah had a smile for us, though of course we should expect no hugs from her. If Seth's welcome to us was a warm rush of tropic waters, Leah's was the slow drip of an ancient glacier. We had come to cordial terms with her in recent times, and she made efforts to be more pleasant after we had become family a few years before, but she always seemed unable to completely disengage from her instinct of being our enemy. For some reason, perhaps because I was a hybrid, or perhaps because I was almost inseparable from her Alpha, she had always given me preferential treatment over the other members of the coven.

"Wow, Nessie," she gasped. "I guess you're all grown up now, huh?"

"I'm hoping," I said. "How are you, Leah? How's Sue?"

"Very well, and very eager to see you as soon," Leah laughed. "Well, let's get your bags, shall we? Seth is parked illegally on the curb, so we should get a move on."

"Seth, you finally saved up enough to get a car?" I asked. "I'd bet Leah is glad not to have to drag you around anymore."

Seth exchanged a knowing smile with Edward as the two shook hands.

"What? What am I missing?"

Edward grinned at me. "I gave Seth our car when we left."

"Really? The Guard? I thought you donated that thing to charity!"

Seth smiled. "Well, I guess in a way you can say he did."

Emmett had already set about pulling suitcases off the conveyor belt as Rosalie fetched a caddy.

Seth sidled up to me next. "Nessie, she's missed you terribly. She was very sorry that you missed the funeral."

Six months of suppressed memories washed over, as the undeniable reason that we left slapped me in the face. Charlie was dead. The hurt of his absence in this otherwise joyful moment tore at my soul.

"I was very sorry, too," I told him. "I guess I was lucky enough that I got to share his last few moments, and show him how much we all loved him."

"Thank you for that," Seth returned, pulling me into his embrace and kissing me on the cheek.

"So, I guess I'll introduce myself then." Mathias's pert tone and remark broke the silence that had come over all of us. "Hi, I'm Mathias Draganovitch. Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Mister…?"

"Clearwater," Seth answered, acknowledging Mathias's existence with hesitance and an outstretched hand. "Seth Clearwater, and my sister, Leah."

The translation of Seth's stare was easily interrupted… _Who the hell are you and what are you doing standing so close to my Alpha's imprintee?_

"Jasper's driving out, together with Mathias's mother," Edward randomly offered, I hoped in order to cut off whatever malicious thought was probably taunting otherwise easy-going Seth's brain. "Were you able to find the hidden house key I told you about?"

Seth broke his foreboding stare from Mathias, who seemed, as usual, unfazed by the fact that the creature giving him the once over could end his life in a heartbeat. The caddy loaded, we began to move en masse toward the exit into the safe darkness of night.

"It turned out to be …unnecessary," Seth informed him, and from Edward's fluctuating facial expression I concluded that the explanation was being rendered mentally.

"Really?" Edward asked astonished. "Did they say why? Or how long they've been there? Why didn't they call us?"

"Edward, what is it?" Carlisle queried.

He didn't answer, but looked around at the crowd of coach class passengers who were beginning to throng about us to hail taxis.

"We'll talk about afterwards," Edward said to Carlisle, who nodded in acknowledgement. "We need to make a stop and get out before the sun gets too high. Um, Seth, do you mind if I drive, just for old time's sake?"

"Yeah, of course, Eddie." The car keys traced a perfect arc from wolf to vampire. "Besides, you're the master of, 'I know it's usually a three and half hour trip, but we're going to make it in an hour forty-five.'"

I shot Mathias a teasing look. "I hope you're comfortable with some really fast driving."

He scoffed. "You've seen Moira's car, right?"

While the others piled into Leah's old, beaten up Trailblazer (no doubt they would be dragging slowly behind us the drive in from Seattle to Forks), Edward and Bella took the captain and co-captain position in the front seats, while Mathias and I took our seats in the back, Seth wedged between us. He took turns flashing curious glances between us via the rearview mirror. As if I didn't notice. Mathias, in the meantime, remained oblivious, gazing out the window and drinking in the beauty of the bay under the moonlight as we passed over the Narrows. At three-fifty in the morning, the roads were more or less deserted, and Edward pushed his old car just as hard as she would have him.

"Mathias?" Edward called, breaking the silence. "Our friend is a little too polite to be nosy, but he wants to ask you something? Go ahead, Seth, he won't bite, as long as you don't"

It was hardly a funny joke, given current company.

"Sure," Mathias answered. "What can I do for you, chief?"

Seth was cautiously approaching his inquiry. "You seem… human."

Mathias nodded. "Indubitably."

Seth must have thought Mathias looked taken aback. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude. It's just… I don't quite get how you fit into of this scenario. And why is your mom driving with Jasper? Can't she fly?"

"Oh, no, she can fly just fine, and in more ways than one," Mathias quipped. Bella and I giggled and the inside joke. "She's just… a little ill right now, and didn't think flying and exposing her fellow passengers would be advisable."

"Oh, so she's human, too, then," Seth concluded happily.

"Hmph! Far from it."

Seth detested Mathias; that much was obvious. But Seth was inherently kind and sweet, and despite being a ferocious pack animal when the need arose. He was too good a man to take on Mathias in an immature verbal jest. Consequently, we all fell silent as, just like Seth predicted, Edward's driving cut the trip down to a third of the time .

When we passed a roadside sign at four forty-five that bore a "Welcome to Forks" placard, I felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. I had spent the last six months of my life, which in fact was a sizable portion of it, learning to accept that I might never see the place of my birth again. I could have never anticipated what it would mean to me. Even as I suspected Edward of taking a vicarious route through town deliberately selected to avoid any place with dark recollections, I couldn't suppress the comfort the surroundings brought me. I would not disturb that comfort by becoming overly emotional. I would accept that this was my Eden, and that I had tasted the forbidden fruit plucked from the tree of knowledge that had forced me to be cast from it. I might have this one opportunity to glance in, but the garden would no longer be my delightful consolation. My ignorant bliss had now been replaced by the horrid understanding of the power of the monster within, a weak being of bloodlust and depravity that could never be severed from me.

As I broke from my reverie, I noticed that we had turned up a familiar street. The car drove silently into the drive in front of the white, two-story house. I looked at Edward and Bella curiously, wondering why we were deviating from Cullenwood.

"Mathias, we're going to leave you with Seth's mom for a few hours. There's been a development, and we think it best you stay here until we've had an opportunity to evaluate it."

"I'll run in and get Ma," Seth said.

I noticed him hesitating, as I remembered that he would need to get out one side of the other. I opened my door, got out of the car, and stretched, breathing in the damp night air. The front door of the house slammed closed, and a few moments later I saw the light of the living room come on. Sue stood in the doorway of Charlie's house, her gaze nearly teary as she cast her eyes on me.

"My Ness-Ness," she cooed, opening her arms wide, inviting me in.

"Mawmaw!" The tears actually did break down my face as I threw myself into her embrace, almost knocking her to the ground. "Oh, sorry. Are you hurt?"

"Darling, you could break my spine right now and I wouldn't know. I'm so numb with joy that I can't feel a thing but happy." She kissed each cheek before pulling away from me and giving me a once over. "Why, you're all grown up now, aren't you? And look at my dear Bella, just as beautiful as always. But I guess you would be, wouldn't you?"

"Sue, you're looking well," Edward stated, always taking the gentlemen's tone with Charlie's wife.

 _Charlie's widow, I_ reminded myself.

Bella eschewed formality. This was her step-mother, after all, and one that she loved almost on par with her father. She rushed forward, following my example, and lifted Sue off the ground as she hugged her. Edward threw around careful glances, looking to see if the squealing of emotional women had roused any of the neighbors from their slumber.

Edward mocked a cough, and approached Sue more closely. "Sue, a have a favor to ask. This young man here is Mathias Dragonovitch. He's a close friend of the family, and completely harmless. I wonder if he might be able to stay here a few hours while we run a few errands. We'll send Nessie back to pick him up later in the morning."

"Of course, Edward. Any friend of your family…. Mathias, I'm very pleased to meet you, I'm Sue Swan."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Swan," Mathias stated cordially, reaching out and shaking Sue's hand. "And many thanks for your hospitality."

"Nessie, show Mathias up to the guest room and then come straight back. We don't have much time to spare; the sun will be coming up soon enough."

"Of course," I said as I saw Mathias drag his suitcase from the trunk. "Follow me, Mathias. Hey, where's Seth?"

"Oh, he went out the back and off into the woods to join the pack," Edward informed me. "Sue, tell him thanks from me for letting me borrow the car. I appreciate it."

"Of course. Now I expect you two back over here as soon as you've settled in and see me. My heart has ached for you, child."

I guided Mathias through the screen door and up the stairs, up to my mother's old room. It hadn't changed much. The same bed, the same blankets, some of the same stacks of books left unread for over seven years. Mathias set his suitcase on the floor and pulled off his jacket. Haphazardly, he threw it over the rocking chair in the corner and sat down on the bed, slipping off his shoes.

"You'll forgive me for not waiting until you leave to get comfortable," he said, "but I didn't sleep on the plane at all. I'm beat."

"Oh, are you one of those people who can't sleep on flights?"

"I could sleep on the wing in flight if they gave me the chance. But I stayed up this time. You fell asleep right away and leaned into me. I didn't want to close my eyes and lose in the moment," he answered. The tenderness of his weary eyes, so full suddenly of love and sincerity, overwhelmed me. So when he held out his hands to take mine, and pulled me down to sit on his leg on the bed, I wasn't prepared to resist. He cupped my chin in his hand and angled my mouth to his. I allowed our lips to meet for moment, just long enough for me to feel his scent fill my being, then withdrew in one liquid movement to hover inside the doorframe.

"Over so soon?" Mathis asked, taken aback.

"You need your sleep," I said. "Besides, you forget that my father is just forty feet away and able to see and hear everything that's going on right now."

"You think he's spying on us all the time," Mathias lightly laughed.

"He is." I flashed an all-knowing grin. "Honk twice if you're listening, Edward."

Two short burst of the car horn followed.

"Told you so," I smiled. "Goodnight, Mathias."

"Sweet dreams, Ren."

One more kiss from Sue on the way out the front door, a promise to return around noontime, and I rejoined Edward and Bella, closing the door with enough force to surprise them..

"Okay, spill. What's going on? Dropping Mathias at Sue's wasn't part of the plan, and Seth running off to see the pack at this time in the morning? If I'm the reason we're in this freaking mess, then you owe me the truth of what exactly the mess is."

"I think it's a fair request, Edward." What hurt in me in retrospect was how she didn't even attempt to argue with me about blaming myself. "It's not like we're going to be able to hide it from her once we get up to Cullenwood, anyhow."

Edward's face stayed stoic; usually the sign of an internal struggle on his part to make some determination for my benefit.

"You're right," he said to Bella, before turning his gaze over his shoulder to meet mine. "But first, be patient a few more minutes. We'll tell you afterwards, okay?"

My curiosity piqued. "A _fter what?"_

"They're over there," Bella said before Edward could reply. She was pointing out the window to the left. I followed the direction to see Leah's Trailblazer parked on the side of Nelson Road, just outside the gates of Forks Cemetery. "Since you and the others weren't able to go the funeral, we thought we'd have a private ceremony before we drive up to the house."

Through the patchy mist of the field of tombstones, I saw the silhouettes of my family at the far end of the cemetery… the _new_ part. Edward and Bella got out of the car in unison, and I knew that they would expect me beside them- only, I couldn't move. To move, to cross the cemetery, to see a marble slab with Charlie's name etched in stone, that was more than I could bear. I already _felt_ the permanence of his departure, but to see his memorial would make me _know_ for certain that he was gone.

The car door opened next to me, and Bella leaned over and took me by the arm. I felt like the grieving widow, so overcome with misery that moving of my own accord was unthinkable. She guided me in her tight embrace through the field of tombstones and delivered me into Rosalie's and Emmet's hold. Bella turned her body into Edward's, whose arm immediately hooked around her comfortingly.

"Does anyone want to say anything?" Carlisle asked softly.

Speaking seemed somehow iniquitous. Silence was a much more appropriate echo of my thoughts.

"Charlie was never a man of many words," Alice began, looking down at the grave marker as she spoke. "So, when he did say something, you knew that it was direct, honest, and sincere. The night of Edward and Bella's wedding, when I was able to finally get him out on the dance floor, he told me that despite his initial trepidation, he was happy that Edward came back. He said he realized that Edward gave Bella purpose, and that seeing Bella happy, anything else he ever did would be secondary." Alice bowed her head for a moment, overcome by her own recollection. She gave a little burst of laughter. "It was probably the most words I have heard him speak in a day. But he meant every one of them."

Carlisle pulled Alice into a fatherly embrace, and kissed her hair. He then looked around at all of us, as he began his tribute. "I remember a night shortly after we came to Forks. I was working the midnight shift in the emergency room. Charlie rode in with the ambulance from a domestic dispute caller. The woman was beaten up pretty badly, but she had managed to get a hold a knife during the struggle and stab the husband in the leg. They both were admitted, and somehow the husband managed to get out of his restraints, grab one of the other officer's gun, and make a charge for her. Charlie and I tackled the guy together. He didn't know, of course, that I could handle it just fine. But I saw the kind of man he was that night: selfless, caring, protective. He carried those qualities over to us when we became family."

"That's true," Edward nodded solemnly. "Perhaps it's unfair that I feel I almost knew Charlie the best, having access to his thoughts, though sometimes they were diluted. But it was remarkable how centered his thoughts were on the concern for others."

"That's why he was a cop," Bella smiled. "All he wanted in life was to be helping hand, and it didn't matter to whom, though _you_ were certainly on his black list for a while."

Bella jabbed Edward in the side with her finger, and he pulled back with a little flinch, smiling nonetheless.

Emmet matter-of-factly added, "He still owed me $20 from the Mariners match."

Rosalie nearly slapped the top of his skull off. He mocked pain, but of course wasn't really hurt. Esme shot him a rebuking scowl.

"Well, it's true," he said defensively. He refined his tone and smiled, as he quietly reflected, "But he would have paid it. He never welched. He never went back on his word."

"He was the best of men," Esme agreed, pursing her lips.

Leah, who had been lingering a few feet behind us, stepped forward. "When zfad died, it was Charlie who was really there for Mom. For all of us. He didn't let anybody near us for almost three days right after the funeral. He told everyone that they were to wait until we were ready, and he would find an excuse to arrest anyone who bothered us." We all looked at her curiously. "We had … issues to work out. Of course, Charlie didn't know then, but Mom didn't know at first what had scared arad to give him a heart attack. He just knew somehow that we needed some space. And then, later, when she was stuck in a cycle of grief, Charlie was the one who woke her from that grief. I never thought of him as a father, but I loved him very much, and I still miss him every day."

Esme moved to embrace Leah. It was her default reaction to sadness: comfort. I think we were all a little surprised, when Leah allowed her to hold her without resistance. Her eyes fluttered closed as she tried to suppress in the display of emotions. That was Leah's default reaction: numbness.

Carlisle turned his sympathetic gaze my way. "Renesmee, is there anything you'd like to say?"

My body tensed. What should I say? Should I mention how ridiculous I found this, a coven of dead, monstrous killers standing in a memorial park over the lifeless corpse of a human? Should I note how six months had passed since he was laid six foot under us, and this was my first time we had been here because of what I had done? Should I point out to them that they had been so wrapped up in their own memories that my eyes the whole time had been unable to break from the stare at the fact that was set before us so plainly, etched in stone: DIED MAY 14, 2013?

"I don't think she's able to get to that point today," Edward said, finally causing me to turn my head at him questioningly. "Still too many conflicting emotions. She's not ready yet to accept that he died."

"Accept it? I witnessed it!"

The fretful eyes of Esme reigned in the flush of anger that was bubbling inside of me. I closed my eyes and set my focus to taking some deep breathes and calming down. I hadn't meant to upset them. I just couldn't understand why they could not be angry the way I was.

"I think you're right," I admitted in a quiet voice, and Edward almost looked surprised. "I think I'm just not ready to admit it to myself. You live in a world where time seems so irrelevant, so maybe you process these emotions so much faster than I do. I need more time. You don't understand what it's like to lay down to sleep each night and still see…."

I paused, struck suddenly with knowledge of the very thing they needed to see right now.

I unbuttoned the cuff at the end of my shirt and began rolling up my sleeve, tugging it as best I could back to keep it from rolling around. Presenting my bare arm outstretched to the middle of the group, I added, "I'm going to try this, and it may be painful. You don't have to watch if you don't want to, but I know how much Charlie cared, and I want to show you."

Understanding clicked in their expressions after a few moments, and six icy hands found a place on my arm. Edward stayed back, not needing the formality of physical touch.

"You, too, Leah," I called. She hesitated. "Leah, you're his family. He would have wanted you to see."

Apprehensively, she stepped forward and angled her hand to my upper arm, making sure to keep enough distance with her body from Emmett standing next to her to avoid the iciness of his.

The familiar tide of nerves loosened as I pushed my vision out over them.

Charlie's body on the ground, his breath straining, his blood flowing from the gunshot wound despite every effort to stop it, and me, taking his hand into mine.

" _I am so sorry, Nessie."_

" _Shhh, Charlie, there's nothing to be sorry for."_

" _I'm sorry that I won't be with you anymore. You tell everyone… how… much I…. love…."_

" _Charlie, I love you, so much. I wish I could show you…"_

And then, in my first attempt at layering, delighting in how I could show them what I had shown Charlie, replaying in detail the play I had played in his dying moments for him…

 _The first time we met, when he called me the prettiest baby ever born…_

 _The late summer evening we ran around his backyard catching fireflies, and Sue trailing us with a mason jar…_

 _The birthday party Alice had thrown for me and Bella a few years ago, and Charlie's bewildered face looking at our nearly uneaten cakes, both with a huge candle "3" burning on top…_

 _His and Sue's wedding party down on the reservation two years ago..._

 _Charlie dancing with me two summers at my parent's impromptu fifth wedding anniversary party..._

 _Charlie and me walking on La Push with Sue, Jacob and Seth a year ago…_

I wanted them to know that I did get it: I knew how much I loved him, and I knew how much he loved us. But I had never tried this before, and I wasn't sure it was going to work. I opened my eyes wide and drank in each of their faces, which were now answering me back with countenances full of love and compassion, despite the hurt of his absence.

"This is what Charlie meant to me," I smiled, and pulled at a mental thread I had never felt before, turning not the past, but the present, into an image that they could see. They saw me, and they saw me seeing them, like being in a house of mirrors, each of us witnessing the reflection of each other through my eyes and theirs. "His humanity is what has allowed this family to survive and thrive. And I thank him for that. We are all reflections of his love for us."

As I pulled back, I glanced over to Edward, standing a few feet away, looking abundantly proud and amazed.

"You were right after all, Carlisle," he whispered. "She takes what I do, and flips it. Nessie, that was amazing. I don't think you've ever done that before."

"Well," I laughed in my new found ability and joy. "I didn't know I could either. I just wanted you to see yourselves as I see you. Because, I think, despite everything else we are, that's how Charlie saw us too."


	26. Self-Control

Edward leaned in and gave Bella a too brief kiss. "Don't tell anybody anything until we get there. We'll be up to the house in less than five minutes."

"Well, we'll be up there in two, so I'll set up snacks and be ready with your drink," she teased. "Leah, you ready?"

Leah nodded, but looked anxious. Her gaze kept revolving between the woods at the back of the cemetery and us. Her hands fidgeted as she attempted to force out reluctant words.

Edward turned a comforting glance to her. "I promise, we won't look, and we'll have plenty of clothes you can help yourself to after we get the cars up to the house."

"As if Alice doesn't have things squirreled away," Rosalie grumbled.

"Keys?" Emmett asked Leah. She pulled them out of the pocket of her stone-washed jeans and plopped them in his bear-claw hand. I saw then that he was only acting an intermediary, turning around and handing the keys straight off to Rosalie. "Rose, this is not your Tesla. This is Leah's only car, and she likes it. Please respect that it maneuvers like a John Deere tractor."

"I have driven a full-sized SUV before, farmer boy," she grumbled as she got behind the Trailblazer's wheel and started her up. I was surprised that no one got in with her. We couldn't all fit into the Guardian.

Bella pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek while I pondered what was going on.

"I'll see you a few minutes, dear. And, don't be scared. No one is going to hurt you," she stated.

"What do you mean no one is going to…"

"Sun's coming up. Time to go," Edward interrupted, pulling me to the car and ushering me into the back seat. Carlisle joined me in the back, while Emmett took the co-captain's chair. Looking out the window, I just caught the disappearing visages of Bella, Alice, Esme and the small grey wolf darting back into the woods in a blur.

"Is someone going to let me in on the secret?" I asked as we pulled away. Behind us, I could hear the grumble of the Trailblazer's engine, and Rosalie screaming obscenities to its unyielding gas pedal.

Carlisle looked at me with his standard-issue warm smile. "We have guests at the house. Tanya's coven, and some others."

"Tanya's here?" I asked as my face broke into a smile. "We haven't seen them in ages. How wonderful! Hold the phone- _why_ is the Denali coven in Forks? We didn't even know we were coming until twelve hours ago."

"They've been here for a few days," Edward answered. "The others just started arriving yesterday."

"What others?" I asked, now a little anxious.

"All of them, it seems," Edward answered. "Almost everyone who was here last time has come back. I didn't really expect it; such loyalty, that is. Not typical of our kind."

The pieces of the puzzle were finally fitting together. Alice was running off into the woods to get some distance between us, perhaps in an attempt to scout out our future and see if any conflict amongst the arrivals was likely. Leah had run off to rejoin the pack, with Seth, no doubt lingering not too far away. Bella and Esme were running to the house on reconnaissance. The members of my family who were riding with me in the car were not there just to keep me company; they each had a role to play. Edward, of course, was the logistician, orchestrating everyone's movement in response to any bad intentions. Carlisle would serve as diplomat in case negotiations or talk downs were needed. And if talking didn't work; well, Emmett was there to serve as a bouncer and personal body guard.

"Don't worry, Nessie," Edward said soothingly, catching my eyes in the rearview mirror. "It's just a precaution. You know me, an ounce of prevention…"

"… is worth a pint of blood," Emmet completed, chuckling at his own twist of words.

"Carlisle, do you think any of them know about me?" I asked hesitantly. "I mean, I know they all know _about_ me. But, do you think they suspect that my blood is…."

"…deadly?" He filled in my hanging thought with the looming word. "I don't see how any of them would. As a doctor and a vampire, I've taken extra efforts over the years to collect every bit of medical knowledge known that applies to us. I never heard of the anucktumai before, and the concept of a female hybrid's blood being poisonous to us is nothing any of us came across in all the research we did after you were born. Only Vladimir and Stefan would seem to have had an opportunity to have learned it, but apparently they never put it together when the members of their coven attacked Sekhmet's children."

I hesitated a moment before throwing out what I thought was the next logical step. "Are we going to tell them?"

"Absolutely not!" Edward responded. "Tell a bunch of vampires on the brink of war that you are a biological weapon? They'll see you as a bomb and throw you over the trench as soon as the battle breaks. Not that you're going to be anywhere near the battle..."

"Oh, no, Dad," I stated in a tone that left no room for negotiation. "I will be there, and I will be fighting just as hard as you."

Emmett grumbled something too low and fast for me to understand. Edward shook his head in response. Carlisle looked equally off put.

"I agree," he added, "but I also think Renesmee is old enough to decide her own course.."

"Carlisle, with all due respect, I am her father and I will make the determination of when she is ready to make her own decisions," Edward rebuked, swinging a little too hard into a curve and throwing me into Carlisle right arm. "For the love of all that is holy, she's own seven!"

My temper burned with resentment, but Carlisle gave me a reassuring look, as though to tell me to let him handle this one.

"Edward, I won't infringe on your relationship with your daughter, or try to tell you how to parent. You've proven to us time and time again that you are more than capable of the task. But, speaking from a purely medical perspective, she's developmentally the same age you were when you turned, if not a little older. She hasn't grown at all for nearly four months, and this display back in the cemetery and the way she was able to bring her temper back into check is evidence that her human hormones are receding, 3f3n sharpening her talents in the process. I believe this is as far as Renesmee is going in terms of her physical development. You must begin to think of her as a woman, not a child."

"My human hormones are receding?" I asked in bewilderment. "When exactly where the _pro_ ceeding? Wait, is that why I've been flying off the axe handle these last few months? Is that why… Is that why I couldn't stop myself from killing him?" _And why I can't keep my thoughts and my hands off Mathias,_ I added in my head.

Edward answered, and I was sure it was to both my spoken and unspoken questions. "We think that's a part of it. But don't shuck responsibility so quickly for those decisions, Nessie. The lack of balance between your two halves may have influenced you, but in the end it was you who made the decision."

I closed my eyes, going over each step forward and each step back I had made since May 14. It all seemed so clear now. It had been like my mind was splintered, almost as though I was in a room with two televisions playing, and was expected to be watching both with undivided attention. And now, finally, somebody was asking to unplug one of the televisions and remove it from the room. And with it, they might also cart away all the good emotions that had come with the package.

I didn't want to lose my feelings for Mathias. I loved him. I loved Jacob more. I would be with Jacob soon, if Mathias was to help us by … Actually, I still didn't know what he could do, but my father did. If Edward was convinced that the plan would work, that was enough for me to have faith in Mathias's ability no matter what it was. _Come on, Nessie, how is that going to work? Jacob will rip Mathias to shreds if he ever finds out about the two of you._ Ah, even that internal nagging voice; was that from the human hormones too?

As we pulled in the drive to Cullenwood, the visages of three wolves running beside our car caught my eye. The house seemed unchanged by time, as though I were simply coming home from another woeful day at Forks High. I almost expected to enter the foyer and find Emmett with the Seahawks game blaring, or Alice at the computer running her designs past Rosalie.

But that wasn't to be what we found at all.

As we entered the front door, a multitude of faces turned in our direction. Some were familiar, and others were new. Immediate to us, of course, were the most welcomed faces of our sister coven. I ducked from behind Emmett, positioned in front of me like a monolith, and threw myself into Eleazar and Carmen's welcoming embrace.

"Mi niña," Carmen cooed as she slicked back my hair and repeatedly kissed my forehead. "Look at you, child. You are so grown up now! All this in just a year?"

"Don't talk, just hold me," I begged. Carmen's embrace had always been welcoming, warm despite her chilly skin.

"What's wrong child?" Eleazar asked, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Nothing's wrong at all. It's just, I never realized until this moment, that in the back of my head, I wondered if I would ever see you again. Oh, Tonya, I've missed you, too."

"What about us, now?" Garrett called, as I moved down the impromptu receiving line, kisses falling on me from every direction. "Didn't you miss us, too?"

"Of course," I smiled at them all as I stepped back to survey the room. "Oh, my cup runneth over."

Bella, Esme, and Alice were of course, as predicted, arrived and settled, Esme next to Charlotte and Peter on the far sofa, Alice sitting next to a red-haired petite female vampire I recognized as Maggie, and Bella in the corner discussing something with an exotic frosted olive-skinned woman dressed in bright yellow.

"This is the same child?" Zafarina now asked. "Even though I suppose we knew, I am still surprised. She is a young lady now. And such a beautiful one, at that."

I felt a blush creep across my cheeks before I could suppress it. Edward cast dubious glances in every corner to make sure the affect did not garner any bloodlust. The room was crowded with nearly two dozen of us trying to fit into the restricted space. Outside, I heard the dull motor of the Trailblazer chugging up the drive, Rosalie still throwing curses at it with every rotation of the tires.

"Sounds like Rose's taste in cars has diminished some," Tanya smile ruefully.

Emmett turned towards the door. "She sounds pretty riled up. I better go calm her down before she decides to crash Leah's car as a mercy killing."

Liam turned his gaze to Carlisle, and addressed the elephant meandering in the corner.

"What happened?" he started. "Four days ago, out of nowhere, we get a phone call from Alistair saying that the Volturi are assembling for battle, and that their target was in the new world. We could only assume they meant you, as no other coven has seemed to garner their attention recently."

"We were visited in Maine by Alec, Jane and Demetri," Carlisle answered. "They told Bella and Edward that the Volturi wanted Renesmee to come see them. Bella refused, and now Demetri is dead."

There was a stunned silence across the room, the type of silence reflective only of disbelief.

"What do you mean, Demetri is dead?" Tanya finally asked. "How? Who?"

"I promise that I do not mean to be vague, Tanya," Carlisle answered, "but the answer to that question is in en route with Jasper. They'll be here soon enough. I think it's best if I leave her to explain for herself."

"Her? You mean Akeldama?" Eleazar asked.

Rosalie and Emmett reentered from outside, Rose still clearly miffed about Leah's car's underperformance. "Who the hell is Akeldama?"

"Ah, that's right, she said she has a different name now," Eleazar muttered. "She sounded British this time. Elizabeth, perhaps?"

"She called herself Moira," I said. "El, do you know her? How?"

"We were colleagues of sorts. You know that I left the Volturi in the late 40's. But, on the tail end of WWII, Akeldama was received with great fanfare in Volterra. We were told very little about her, but I suspected there was more to her than what little they said. For example, she had a heartbeat, like you little one, yet she addressed the triumvirate condescendingly, like children. I wondered at a human with such gall, but I marveled at her talents."

"You mean her telekensis?" I asked.

Eleazar looked at me in surprise. "So she's opened up about it, then? She used to be so secretive! Yes, her potential seemed limitless. I sometimes would come across humans like her, whose talent even without venom impressed me. It was my job, after all. Some of the greatest finds are the humans who haven't been turned, rather than the vampires who have. The witch twins, for example, or the stories I've been told about our dear Bella. But, still, Akeldama's power was frighteningly strong. Even had she been vampire, I'd have wondered at it. When after her counsel with Aro, Marcus and Caius, she left with her heartbeat intact, I was too curious to let it go. Demetri helped me track her to Athens, where I observed her only with the desire to learn. One day, as I followed her into the Greek countryside and watched her hunt down and drink a wolf dry. This, all while her heart continued to beat. At that point, my curiosity would only be quelled with knowledge."

I shuttered a little at the image of an injured wolf that crept up in my mind unbidden.

"I couldn't help at that point but to confront her. She told me her some of her story, though I suspect it was not her whole of it. She told me how she had lost her coven to the Dracule, and how under an alliance with Volturi she had destroyed them. And then she told me to do something I had been considering already: she told me to leave the Volturi."

"Why?" I asked almost automatically.

"She said I was too good for them, because I knew what she was capable of and my first reaction was not to kill her. She said her recent visit had showed her that they no longer were worthy of their place in our world," Eleazar answered with the air of the elderly recalling their glory years. "She told me that it was just a matter to time until they crossed the line, and when they did, anyone standing with them would be on the wrong side."

"And that was enough?" Alice asked amazed. "That little bit of a warning was enough to get you to leave?"

Eleazar smiled widely. "I already had my doubts, as I said. She just pushed me off the fence I had been sitting on for too long. It was like fate had sent her right in that moment I was so actively questioning my alliances. So, I took my leave, and I joined her in Athens, then Barcelona. I stayed with her for almost three years, until I met Carmen."

Eleazar glanced lovingly to his mate at the mention of her name, taking her hand in his and gently kissing it.

Edward, however, was not satisfied. "How come you didn't mention this Akeldama before? Didn't you think a vampire with a heartbeat was relevant to our predicaments seven years ago?"

"I didn't see the connection," he explained. "Renesmee was a child, Akeldama was not. And I wasn't ever really sure what she was, so I wasn't sure if she was a vampire or a shape shifter, or banshee, or any number of things that may or may not exist. Only Aro and Marcus seemed more certain, and they were hardly forthcoming."

Alice's phone rang, and she sprang it from her pocket. We all listened in on one half of her conversation.

"Yes, Jasper, we've arrived and Tanya and some of the others are…. Oh, you already know… Mathias? No, we left him at Sue's so he could get some sleep. The wolves wanted to run some sweeps first and make sure that there were no unwelcomed visitors prowling about. And we thought we'd better check out the situation at home before we brought in anything human…. No, I think it's safe for him, why? … Oh, of course. Nessie, Jasper wants to talk to you."

I felt all the eyes in the room turn at once in my direction as Alice handed me the phone. I wondered if there was some part of the other end of the conversation their ears had pick up on that mine would not have. Slowly, I raised the phone to my ear and left the room. I didn't want any more eavesdropping then could be helped. Edward was bad enough.

"Jazz?"

"Nessie, she wants to ask you a favor. Just a moment."

"Ren? Are you … okay?" Sekhmet's musical voice chimed full of concern.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" I said.

"Well, I wasn't certain if you had seen… Jacob yet," she added. "I'm sorry. I'm a little disorientated still. My mind is still adjusting to … everything. You would think someone as old as me wouldn't have these issues. Anyways, I wanted to ask you a favor regarding Mathias."

My heart leapt for a moment at the mere mention of his name. _Easy, Renesmee, you're on the edge of being reunited with Jacob. Time to cool off where Mathias is concerned._ "Of course, what is it?"

"Thanks, Ren. Perhaps I'm just being paranoid, but after Alice said that you left Mathias somewhere else to sleep, I got a twist of anxiety in my stomach. I don't think the Volturi would send someone for him. They probably know about him, but don't know why I've been hiding him all these years. My stresses would be greatly relieved if you could go collect him from wherever you have him deposited, and keep him with you until we arrive tonight."

"You're going to be here tonight, already?" I asked amazed. The mental math was quickly done. Yes, it was possible for them to travel from Maine to Washington in less than 30 hours, if they had maintained an average speed of over 110 mph.

"What can I say? Jasper really likes my car."

I heard him chuckle in the background, and could almost picture the sly grin cross his face, as he said from behind her, "I may not give it back."

I glanced over at Edward, who was standing in the doorway between the two rooms so he could mind both his areas of interest. He gave me a consenting nod.

"Okay, I'll go pick him up now. I guess he'll have slept a few hours, and we can set him up with a place to sleep more once we get him back here." I paused, and decided to shift the conversation. "Um, how are you doing with, well, um, everything?"

She sighed deeply, and her voice came back now lacking of any confidence "It's harder and easier than I thought. The thirst is coming into check very quickly, but then I've been dealing with that for years on some level, so I've had lots of practice in restraint. What's hard is keeping my emotions under control. Every so often, my thoughts drift to not-so-pleasant memories and the whole car begins to shake. Luckily, Jasper's been really good about tranquilizing me before the Veyron ends up in thousand pieces. But, I promise, Ren, every moment is getting easier. I'm sure I'll have it in check by the time we come tonight. Okay, I guess we're going to pull over and hunt while we're in the middle of nowhere, so tell Mathias I will see him soon."

Two beeps told me she had hung up on her side. I glanced expectantly back at Edward.

"Keys?"

He begrudgingly pulled them out of his pocket and tossed them back to me.

"Straight there and straight back," he demanded. I knew he wanted to go with me, but the sun was shining now in full earnest, and I had glanced from the corner of my eye on the way over that the needle had been drifting closer to E than was advisable. I would need to stop in town to get gas. "Use cash. I don't want them tracking us through careless credit card transactions."

"Fine," I huffed. "But you'll have to spot me. My generation doesn't use anything but plastic."

He removed a bill fold from his pocket and parsed out a small number of twenties. I quickly pecked him on the cheek and made for the door.

"Thanks, daddy, I'll be back soon."

"You have your phone right?"

I freed it from my pocket and flashed it. He nodded and turned his attention back to the conversation going on in the foyer. I unceremoniously sat down behind the wheel of the bullet-proof car and sped down the drive and into Forks.

At this early hour, almost 7:30 am on Friday morning, the streets were full of morning commuters. I pulled into the station and set about filling the gas tank. Damn this flashy car. The last thing I wanted to be was conspicuous. While I didn't have friends, I was set determined that I would get through this trip back to Forks with as few run ins as possible with its less desirable elements of town: high school students.

No such luck.

"Sullen Cullen?"

I heard a girl's voice curiously breach from the other side of the gas pump. I recognized her immediately as Tara O'Malley, a girl that I once had fantasized about trapping in the corner of the girl's bathroom and drinking to death. As her scent mixed with the fumes of the gasoline, I felt old temptations spiral in my consciousness. My throat tingled, and I mentally slapped myself for going a week now since I last hunted on the afternoon before the Boo Ball. And that had been a small meal, at that, just one tiny deer. Of course, of all the people I could run into at the gas station, it would be her, wouldn't it?

"I thought you moved?"

"Oh, hi, Tara." I worked to suppress my urge to reach out and pull her across the aisle, throw her against the gas pump, and sink my teeth in right above her collar bone. "I did. I'm just… visiting family?"

I saw her glance more fully at me from behind the other side of the gas pump, her eyes ablaze in curiosity.

"I thought your family was from Canada?" she asked.

 _Damn._ "Yeah, I meant, my foster family. Some of them are down here on business, so I decided to come check out the old haunts."

"Oh, I bet they're here for the sentencing," she said with air of jest. My surprise that she knew seemed to fuel her on further. "Of course, you don't know. It's been all over town since you left, how the Cullens are paying for some fancy Seattle defense attorney for the native. No help, though. Everyone knows he's guilty. He's going to rot in jail. Too bad they can't give him the chair for manslaughter, ya know? One less stinking redskin for us to worry about."

I moved without volition, finding myself instantaneously pinning her against her car with my hands securing her shoulders and my mouth hovering over her neck.

 _Not again, Renesmee, and definitely not in public. YOU WILL CONTROL YOURSELF!_

The moment I could taste her heat on my tongue, I became aware of the misjudgment and began to back away. Tara was shell shocked. I took advantage of her confusion to try and cover my tracks.

"I guess I didn't remember how slippery the gas station can be," I attempted with a nervous chuckle. Her face shifted from horror to confusion. "I forgot how the sleet mixes with the oil in the winter. Are you hurt? I didn't realize I tripped."

"You… tripped?" she sputtered.

"Yea, guess so. Clumsy me. I was going to go inside and pay, when I tripped." _Please don't remember that this station has a prepay policy._ "Sorry about that."

She shook her head and righted her body. "No, I'm not hurt. I, um, I guess I'm fine. I … I got to get to school. See you around maybe, Renesmee?"

"Maybe I'll hunt you down later," I returned with a flash of my teeth. "If I'm not too busy with Jacob once he gets out."

Her eyes flashed: yeah, that's right, Tara. I said Jacob. Whatever she was thinking, she had sense enough to take the opportunity to speed off in her beaten up Smartcar before the tension between us broke out into what I was certain would be a bloody scene.

The pump clicked off behind me, and I replaced the handle and sped off towards the Swan house. As I pulled in to the drive, I noticed that Sue's car was already gone. She had probably left for work already. I didn't smell either Leah or Seth's fresh scent, indicating that neither had passed through since our visit this morning. That meant Mathias was upstairs alone, in an empty house.

I knocked lightly on the bedroom door, but heard no response. Of course not; he was dead tired when we left just a few hours before. I didn't know if he was a light sleeper or not, but I took this opportunity to remind myself that I really didn't know that much about Mathias at all, despite our little tryst. I slowly turned the handle, which squeaked from years of light use, and opened the door.

The bed was empty.

A thousand possibilities flooded my mind all at once. One seemed most likely: Sekhmet wasn't paranoid. The Volturi had found him, and they had kidnapped or killed him. I sprinted across the rooms, trying to find a scent that would give me more clues, but the only scent lines I crossed were Sue's and Mathias'. Fine, then, perhaps I could track him. I leaned deeply into the mattress and inhaled his aroma as deeply as my lungs would allow. The concentration of the cherry-blossom bouquet nearly sent my head spinning. It was fresh, almost warm. Whatever happened, he hadn't been gone from the bed for than eight or nine minutes. I followed the trail to the corner of the room, where I saw something bunched up on the floor, leaning over, I pick up a pile of what seemed to be his clothes. Why would whoever took him take all his clothes off first?

"Couldn't keep away, Ren?

I tackled him to the ground before I'd even realized I had jumped. I didn't think it was possible to sneak up on vampire. Mathias had proved the half-vampires were a little easier to surprise. His arms were pinned to the floor under my hands, and his body was secured as I straddled him over his midriff. He made no attempt to fight me, perhaps having learned from experience that sudden movements would trigger my hunt and attack instinct all the more. He just sat under me, patient, unmoving, staring into my eyes with those lovely blue orbs of his.

"Why am I wet?" I asked as I started to come back to the realty of the moment. I felt dampness seeping up through my jeans.

"I just got out of the shower."

Ah, his chest was wet and bare beneath me.

My eyes closed from embarrassment as I eased off his arms. "Um, you're not wearing any clothes, are you?"

"I had a towel wrapped around me," he smiled. _Had._ Past tense. He moved his liberated arms down past my legs and brought one hand back up clutching the wet towel. "This seems terrible lop-sided, Ren, me all naked and you so not. Or were you planning on evening that out?"

"I'm sorry, I just… I called your name but you didn't answer, so I came upstairs and then when I saw your bed was empty. I got all these crazy ideas about the Volturi coming for you, and I panicked and started trying to find your scent to follow… and…"

"Are you going to let me up soon, because I am a little cold and wet so I might request a blanket if this conversation is going to take much longer."

I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment but still did not move. "Mathias, I'm sorry, I just reacted on instinct. Are you hurt?"

"I've had worse," he groaned. "But, man, you really should have gone out for the Bridgeport rugby team. My shoulder can attest to your skills."

My eyes jutted down to his left, my right, and I looked closely to see if the shoulder looked dislocated. It didn't seem to be out of place. Just to make sure, I gently messaged, feeling for injuries.

Mathias turned his head and placed a light, wet kiss on my wrist. Now I was the one who froze in place.

He reached up to my arms and pulled my face down close to him, and as he did so my torso slid down to compensate the angle. Even through my jeans, I could feel the effect of my proximity on him.

"Mathias, I can't…. Jacob is…" I mumbled between kisses.

"Shh," he called. "I told you. I'm not trying to take his place. But fate working a double shift today. Kiss me, Ren, the way you always imagined kissing your Jacob."

I couldn't seem to get enough oxygen into my lungs as my breath raced out of control and my kisses deepened. His hands found their way to my shoulders then slowly drifted down my back and landed on my hips.

"Maybe we'll be more comfortable on the bed?" he suggested through a rueful smile.

The bed? Yes, I've heard of beds. I understood they were, indeed, very comfortable, especially when engaging in activities that require a lot of motion. I nodded idiotically I stood swiftly and offered him a hand. He took my hand and used it to slowly pull himself up to me, laying kisses every inch or so up the length of arm. When we were face to face again, his kisses fell to my neck. He surveyed every conquered measure of my body with his mouth, as though he were explorer laying claim to newly discovered territory. His hands busied themselves again, this time trying to undo the buttons of my shirt.

I knew it was wrong. How many times had I told myself this couldn't happen? Despite what Esme and Carlisle had warned, I wasn't concerned about causing Mathias injury, but a small sliver of me wondered if I wouldn't kill him outright. I was thirsty, and had nearly attacked a girl in public not fifteen minutes before. As the swirl of cherry blossoms intoxicated me further, I found my resolve weakening. Not just regarding his blood, but also resisting the pulls of the flesh.

My shirt dropped to the floor, and he looked at me with hungry eyes. Gently, he pushed me backwards, my legs surrendering over the edge of the bed. I laid back as he came down over me, covering my partly exposed body with his. His kisses began to drift lower, first to my collar bone, then to bust line, then I tensed as his lips bit gently through the satin lining of my bra. A moan escaped from my mouth before I could suppress it.

"Mathias, I …. I…."

So many words that should be said. So many words that I just could not coax out of mouth.

He pulled back for a second and stared up into my face. His eyes nearly killed me, so full of the heat of lust. I wondered what I looked like to him.

"Can you only show memories?" he asked me, "or can you show me what you imagine, too?"

"What?" I asked, reeling my head up to meet his gaze fully. "I guess, both."

"Show me, then," he begged. I looked at him curiously, wanting to obey, but not really knowing what he was asking for. "Show me what you _imagine_ me doing to you."

It was so damned cliché that I couldn't help but laugh. Then, the idea dug further into my mind through his eyes, and I felt aroused by the notion of leading him around me through any fantasy I could envision.

"Very well." I placed my hand on his face. He turned to kiss it, but I pulled back. "Don't. I need a moment without distraction."

I had to sit up to keep his face within reach, but it only added my delicious anticipation, creating another lover's game. I felt dizzy as I started flooding his mind with images, and felt my body react as he tried to translate those images into movements. Somehow, we were having a two way conversation without saying a word. Wasn't that was love was, though?

 _Kiss my stomach._ Like this? _Yes, exactly like that. Now, see how this bra unhooks in the front?_ And then do that with my hands. _Precisely. My panties?_ They're already on the floor, Ren. _You moved quicker than I thought about it._ I think I thought about it before you did.

Time was a concept that was always liquid for me, moving slower or faster in time with my surroundings. I couldn't tell if I'd been there for hours, or if just a few moments had passed. Mathias hovered over me, and I could feel him pressing up against my thigh, hungry. His eyes burrowed into mine with a stare that was almost tangible. My body was aching for release, a release that only he could give me. Why, then, was he hesitating before crossing that final threshold?

I swallowed hard, never breaking eye contact. His teeth clenched, and for a moment I wondered if I had accidently hurt him somehow. Then his expression melted, and with it, the magic he'd cast over me fell to pieces.

"I can't do this," he cried. "I want you so much, but not like this. You're listening to me, so you must want to somewhat, too. But I can't live with myself if I go through with this. I love you too much."

Confused was not sufficient. I was outright dumbfounded. I drew my other hand up to his face and cupped it, trying to make my expression seem as needy as possible.

"Mathias, please, you have me so worked up, and I do love you too, I've already told you that," I said, pulling his face closer to mine and enticing his lips with quick pecks. "Please, Mathias, make love to me."

"You don't know why you're asking." He was stonewalling me, becoming totally unresponsive to the requests I was making of his lips. "Ren, look at me. Look into my eyes and don't blink. And try not to kill me, please."

"Kill you?" I laughed. "What are you talking…."

"Ren, I release you. Do whatever it is you most want to do."

From hungry to thirsty in one-third of a second flat. I had flipped him over and pinned him down again. For the first time ever, I saw panic in Mathias's eyes as I lowered my teeth to softness at the base of his neck and sank my teeth in. The blood pooled and dripped down his skin immediately and I drew out a mouthful of the pulsating liquid and swallowed it down. His hands flailed helplessly under mine, and I had a dull sensation of sound in my ears that must have been his screaming.

"Ren, please. Control it. Control the thirst. I can't make you, you have to decide to do it on your own."

The monster in me scoffed at his mortal pleas. I would take this blood that had taunted me for months, from a boy who had driven me to distraction for the moment I first saw him. I would drain his body of life here in this bed, in this tiny little bedroom in Forks.

In this bed, where my mother had once slept.

In this room, where my father had once held her close and sang her to sleep.

In Forks, where they had fallen in love. Where I had been born and raised, and loved in return. And now, where an innocent man lay beneath me, being slowly drained of his life by the monster.

I would not be that monster. I would not turn on everything I knew and everyone I loved.

With a cough and gag, I threw myself across the room, a drop of blood rolling down my chin.

Again, time had no bearing. Had I been drinking from him for moments, or for hours? Was it too late? Was he dead already?

My dread quickly lapsed when he rolled over and picked up the towel from the floor, the one that had been covering him from the shower, and pressed it into the crescent shaped wound that was still pulsating a trickle of blood down his chest.

"Mathias?" I gasped. "On, no. What have I done? Not again. Not again!"

He seemed unsteady as he fell back unto the bed. His tone was pasty, a classic indication of blood lose, but his racing heart beat suggested he might be too far off.

"Please don't apologize," he begged, holding out a hand to quiet me when I began to whimper. "I deserved it. It is me who should apologize to you. Please, Ren, won't you get dressed? I can't talk to you when you're so beautiful and naked. I might be tempted to draw you back."

I threw on my clothes with vampire speed, and fifteen second later was sitting on the edge of the bed trying to tend to his wound while withholding my thirst. The guilt that was slowly sinking in was assisting in suppressing the temptation. I pulled the blanket up around him to warm him, hoping he was not going to go into shock from blood loss.

"How can you sit there and apologize after what I just did?" I demanded, pressing pressure into the towel and allowing his arms to fall into his sides.

"You don't understand, Ren. You never would have done it if I hadn't told you to."

I chuckled despite myself. "Don't give yourself such airs, Mr. Dragonovitch. I'm not exactly as pushover."

He winced at the pain as I pulled back the towel to check on the bleeding, and pressed it a little too forcefully when I saw the slow, steady ooze continue.

"Can _you_ get dressed?" I asked, looking around the room for his bag, and spotting in the corner laying opened on the floor. "I think we'll need Carlisle to mend that up."

"It hurts like a son of bitch. Damn you're strong," he playfully cried.

"You're just lucky I'm not venomous, or you would be in pain. You'd be dying."

I moved to rise from the bed, but Mathias's hand caught me.

"Before we go, please say you forgive me. I never thought I would let it go so far. But it doesn't change how I feel for you. I do love you, and I will do whatever it takes to make up for this."

I smiled. "You're going into shock, that's why you're so loopy all of a sudden. Come on, get up."

I put my arm under him and hoisted him to his feet. Using my speed again, I dressed him quickly in a pair of sweat pants and a sweat shirt, underclothes be damned. The wound was still glistening, but the blood had begun to congeal and scab over. Apparently my bite was strong enough to break through the blood vessels, but lacked the full strength needed to eviscerate the tissue. Thank god for little miracles.

I lowered him into the car and punched the gas to muster as much speed as I could. The morning commute traffic had ebbed, and I took full advantage of clear roads to get us home as soon as we could. I glanced to him as we turned into the drive and saw his head bopping about from the speed. Reluctantly, to make him as comfortable as possible, I slowed down considerably. At 10 mph, it would take us a good three minutes to get all the way up the drive. I flashed a quick peek up into the rearview mirror, and caught the sheen of human blood red overlapping my chocolate irises.

"Damn it!" I cried in desperation. Probably the change in my eye color was too subtle for him to detect. But it wouldn't be for the others, and certainly not for Edward. Mathias groaned as we hit a bump. "Sorry. Hold on, we're almost to Cullenwood now. Keep pressure up on that bite."

He laughed with an enthusiasm a little too hardy for his current state. "Cullenwood? Like in _Dark Shadows?"_

"Um, yeah, I guess that is pretty silly," I agreed. "I promise, no one named Barnabus inside."

 _But there is someone named Edward, and he is going to kill me. Then you. Then me again._

As I pulled the car into the garage, I was surprised that Edward hadn't bounded out of the house and slammed me against a wall. By the good graces of whatever god might reside in heaven, it was Carlisle who came down to garage to meet us.

"Everything okay, Nessie? You were gone for a really…."

His words dissipated as I opened Mathias's door and his scent and color were no longer hidden by the glass.

"What happened to him? Was it the Volturi?" he asked, leaning down immediately and pulling back Mathias's eyelids to get a better look. "The venom doesn't seem to be effecting him yet. We might be able to stop it if we can isolate it and drain it fast enough."

"No, there's no venom," I informed him.

"You already sucked it out?" Carlisle asked matter-of-factly. The evidence of this presumption weighed heavily on my heart, and I admitted to him what amounted to a betrayal of everyone's faith in me.

"No, there's no venom, because I'm the one who bit him."

Carlisle paused for the slightest of seconds and turned away from him.

"Go out to the cottage, Nessie," he demanded. "Edward, Bella and Alice have gone out to hunt. They'll be back a few hours. Wait for them. Mathias, I'm going to pick you up and move you upstairs. We're going to move very fast, so you might want to keep your eyes closed. I still have enough medical supplies stored here that I should be able to patch up the damage without a trip to the hospital."

"Dr. Cullen, you can't blame Ren. This wasn't at all her fault. You have to tell Edward that. He'll understand it wasn't her fault."

Maybe Mathias was hurt more than he led on with me. His voice suddenly seemed weak and struggling. I felt more pangs of guilt wrench my soul.

"I appreciate your concern, Mathias, but try not to talk. As far as Nessie, this really is a family matter, and her father and mother will decide what punishment to take with her."

I was a child again. In the span of a few hours, I had sunk from a woman in Carlisle's eyes, to an irresponsible youth.

Carlisle threw Mathias over his shoulder, and in a blur, they were gone. I figured the discussion was over, so I paced leisurely out to the empty cottage to await whatever fate was due me when Bella and Edward returned.

I had to laugh. _Hmm, fate._

Finally, after staring at the wall of my room for an hour as the noonday sun slowly rose overhead sending streams of light through my window, I heard the front door open. I tried to keep my mind blank. No doubt my dad had already read all what had transgressed from Mathias's recollections. There was no use in giving him a bird's eye view of the events from my perspective to supplement.

"Go on, lay into me," I called across the cottage. "But whatever you say to me to make me feel evil or guilty, I warn you: it will be nothing compared to the look Mathias gave me when he realized I was killing him. I won't bother to ask for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I will only hope that one day I can earn his."

He rounded the corner with a composure that was half-sympathy, half-disgust.

"You know better than that, Renesmee. Seeing as it was more his fault than yours, he's already forgiven you. Against my recommendation, mind."

I turned my glance from him. "So, you suggest we just pretend this didn't happen?"

"Hardly." Edward smiled. Was he high? What was there to smile at? "It was wrong for Mathias to manipulate your emotions like that. But, he is only human, and he's realized the error of his ways. He's been punished for using his talent for mind control on you by creating the situation that almost led to his death."

Mind control? That was Mathias's talent? I scanned through my memory and slapped myself that I hadn't put it together before.

Son of a bitch.

Edward continued. "But there is someone's forgiveness you're going to have to seek. That _both_ of you are going to have to seek. Come on."

He crossed the room and pulled me up to my feet. He began to lead my across the floor, and quickly out of cottage and to the running car in front of Cullenwood. I was surprised to see Mathias sitting patiently in the passenger seat.

"I don't understand," I muttered. "Where are we going? Why is Mathias coming?"

"Because he owes an explanation. You don't think I noticed your eyes? He will too."

I was confused beyond reason. None of what he was saying made sense anymore. He opened the back door of the car and motioned for me to get in.

"Hurry up now. We've got to drive over to Port Angeles before three. That's when visiting hours end."

"Whoa!" I stumbled as I lowered my gaze to the back of the head rest in front of me. "Visiting hours? You don't mean…"

"Don't play innocent, Nessie." Edward's voice was cool and stern, silk and stone in one. "We're going to see Jacob."


	27. Make me a witness

{{Mathias}}

"No, Esme. Stay down stairs. Don't let the others up here, either."

Carlisle spoke human-slow, as if to remind me. Like I needed a reminder! I knew, already. If this had been a college dorm party, Carlisle would be the overachieving but reserved track star that just arrived lugging a keg on each shoulder. Only, I was the keg, type-AB negative Serbian-brew keg. Yeah, the rarest blood type. Of course, I was. If there's something statistically unlikely, then that usually applied to me.

After three flights of stairs, we were in an isolated room. He closed the door and locked it. Right, doc, like those locks were going to do any good. I knew he ran extra fast. I only hope it was fast enough that the scent couldn't travel too far. I didn't know exactly how many vampires there were downstairs, but I heard at least four different voices that didn't recognize, and that was four vampires more than I was ready to deal with.

"Tell me what happened," Carlisle said, a demand, not a request.

"She bit me," I answered, restating the obvious. I knew it wasn't the information he was looking for, but my love life was really none of his business, even if it did involve a member of his family.

Carlisle smirked. " _Why?_ She seemed so controlled this morning. This is a little surprising."

I went dead in the face. _Nope, doc, not that easy_.

He sighed and pulled out some medical supplies from a cardboard storage box. I took a moment and reflected on why a vampire had a hospital bed in a house full of immortals. He rubbed some alcohol on a stack of gauze squares before dabbing the bite.. The scab crusted away, leading to a red pearl forming. My muscles clenched, but to my surprise, he seemed indifferent.

"Ordinarily I would not interfere. But, situation being as it is," Carlisle tossed his head back to remind me that there are any number of them downstairs who would already have me half-drained by now if given the chance, "I need you to tell me what happened with Nessie, so I can make sure both of you are safe. And, if you don't tell me, Edward will be here in an hour or two, and he'll get it from you. I should warn you, his bedside manner is not as comforting as mine."

He turned his attention to the wound again, injecting me with something that feels like liquid ice entering my blood stream.

"Fine. Ren and I… got a little physical," I explained simply. "I guess we just moved too fast, she couldn't resist. But, you should be proud, Dr. Cullen. She stopped herself once she realized what she was doing."

He produced a sewing needle and some thick string. "She is getting more control," he returned somewhat stoically. "Still, she is young, and emotionally unpredictable, so I wouldn't suggest getting _a little physical_ with her again. At least, anytime soon."

 _Easier said than done, Carlisle. Have you seen your granddaughter lately? Plus, those eyes!_ Brown eyes were all too common, but her shade of brown was so deep I could swim in it. Just like mother's eyes. Just like she promised. Werewolf or no, Ren was meant to be mine. I felt that truth in my bones.

Fate had drawn me into her world years ago. It had given me that damned "gift" which got my parents killed. That gift that had landed me in the Smederevo orphanage, where the nuns beat me senseless. Until I grew so tired of being beaten that I used my "gift" again, that was, and made them turn on each other. I fled into the woods outside the city. That's where the beautiful olive-skinned woman with jade-green eyes found me.

"What are you doing here, boy? Are you hurt? Did you get lost?"

I remembered her accent- so peculiar, unlike the scores of soldiers I'd encountered. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I loved her at first site, in the way a pubescent boy loves any woman with curves. Still, I didn't need complexions, and I certainly didn't need any pity. I funneled my will into my stare and drilled my command into her eyes.

"Go away."

She hesitated, almost turning to leave, but then came back around.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Go away!" I screamed out, wondering why she wasn't obeying like all the others. "Turn and walk away! Leave me alone!"

Again, she turned, but then after a moment, rounded on me again.

I couldn't understand. No one had ever been able to resist when I used my gift. What was going on?

"Where are your parents?" she asked.

"Dead."

"Oh."

Her sympathetic stare would have undone my determination to be pissed and self-loathing, but I was just as stubborn then as I was now.

"I killed them." I added to make sure she knew I was a danger. "Just like I'll kill you, too, if you don't leave me the hell alone."

"Child, you are going to have to learn to control that little temper of yours, or you're going to do things far worse than kill your parents. If I were you, I'd watch what you say, and _what_ you say it to."

I played innocent, but as she was so obviously a foreigner, I couldn't help but poke fun at her error. "Don't you mean _who? Who_ I say it to? Stupid scab."

In a moment, she went from being ten feet away from me to having me pinned to tree I had been sitting near. Her teeth hovered over my throat, but I couldn't scream. She seemed to have suddenly turned to stone, unmoving.

"Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be mean. Put me down! I said, PUT ME DOWN!"

The force of the gift moving through me made my eyes nearly bleed. It felt as though my head had cracked open in a burst of lightning. I passed out. When I came to, I was in an upscale Prague hotel suite, with the green-eyed beauty holding my hand. Her stare was both apologetic and anticipatory.

That's how fate had led me to Moira. I was supposed to be her prey. Instead, I became her family. She had never hunted another human since. She called me her cure. Now, sitting on a hospital bed in a house full of vampires in Forks, Washington, being patched up from Ren's bite by her centuries old doctor-slash-grandfather- If there were no such thing as Fate, then God had a perverted sense of humor.

Carlisle finished the stitches, three in total, and rubbed the area around the bite with some putrid smelling brown liquid.

"You're lucky. Not too much blood lost. You might be a little sleepy or light-headed, but you should be fine in a day or two. You need electrolytes, but the house doesn't have any human food right now. I'll aks Esme to go down to the market. Just try to sit here. Taking a nap might even be a good idea."

Now that he'd said it, I remembered that I only slept an hour at Sue's house before the clatter of her getting her breakfast ready in the kitchen below woke me. I was far from being rested, but I felt so dirty from the trip I took the opportunity to jump in the shower as soon as I heard her car pull out. Coming out of the bathrom, I just wanted to sink back to sleep as quickly as I could towel off. Seeing Ren rummaging through my clothes, though, had changed my plans.

I laid back on the oddly-present hospital bed and tried to relax. Given any number of beings downstairs who would love to have such a complaisant dish set before them, the chances for true sleep seemed slim. Nevertheless, I had learned to suppress the anxiety induced by knowing that I might be killed in my sleep long ago. I was quickly overtaken by exhaustion and by visions of the morning's event echoing in my head. I dreamed of what Ren, and just as I was about the become one with her body, the weight of a real world stare dragged me from my slumber.

Alice was 2.25 inches from my face, smiling.

"I can let you sleep more, if you want," she offered.

I shook my head and caught the sleep from my eyes, becoming aware at the same time of a dull throb at the sight of the wound. I quickly clutched the bandaged area with my left hand _. Bad vampire. Stay back_.

"As if," she scoffed and gave me some distance.

I sat up, trying to gauge the time. The sun was high overhead now, and the rays running parallel to the windows.

"Alice." I addressed her in my best it's-a-pleasure-to-see-you-but-what-the-hell-do-you-want voice.

"She doesn't end up with you, so don't think about it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Alice brought a parcel to the hospital bed from the table by the door and begins to unwrap it. "Renesmee and Jacob have been a thing since before there was a thing to be had. Try looking at it through your fatalistic paradigm from our perspective. Edward meets Bella. Bella loves Edward. Bella and Edward get married and have Renesmee despite all odds. Jacob imprints on Renesmee. Jacob loves Renesmee. And, Mathias, most importantly, Renesmee loves Jacob."

"She love me too."

Alice didn't seem blown away by my adept argumentative skills. I tried to catch her eye, but she refused to look at me.

"Maybe she _lusted_ you, but don't read more into it than that. She's confused. In many ways, she's been alone for a big part of her life. She never had a confidante, someone who understood her struggles. Jacob loves her and would do anything he can for her, but he _can't_ do _everything._ He's more like us than like her anymore: he's become immune to time, to change. You haven't. And yet, you were raised in our world, so you could sympathize with all her conflicts. Ok, she might actually love you in some ways, but I think the fact that you are such a wonderful representative of the male of your species is more to blame for the physical aspects. Besides," Alice concluded with an air of certainty that nearly turned my stomach, "there's still the fact that I don't see her with you."

I looked at her puzzled. She tapped her forehead. Alice meant, _I don't see you with her in the future._ But there's a kink in that chain, wasn't there?

"I know you can't see Nessie's future clearly, and you can't see the wolves at all, so how could you possibly know that she doesn't end up with me?" I asked, and shame-faced for reasons I didn't understand, I added, "I've been alone in all the ways she has. I don't want that any more, and I would make her very happy, Alice."

Alice busied herself, laying fresh clothes out for me. I looked down at my sweatshirt to find blood stains. No doubt she saw that too, and that's why she was avoiding looking at me again. I jumped up and ripped off my shirt to replace it with the button-down long-sleeve, black dress shirt she had fished out of a box.

"True," Alice said finally, "I can't see the wolves' futures, but that's only proof to me that she ends up with him. I can't see hers, either."

Damn, she got me there.

"But I can see yours clearly, and I can see that question you've been asking yourself for years start to play out," Alice added in a grave tone.

I closed my eyes and try to suppress it. I knew the question she was talking about. Since I'd met Ren, it seemed like more and more of a solution than a quandary.

"I could be with her forever then. Moira wouldn't deny me if I asked her to."

"No, you can't. Don't you get it, Mathias. _That's_ not your fate."

Even with my faith in our destiny, I can't deny Alice's logic. "If she's not supposed to be mine, than what? What is my fate?"

Alice could hardly bring herself to say, which told me what the truth was. I placed my fingers over her mouth, ending her hesitance.

"Don't. I've always known that was probably the way it was going to go down."

The next moment, I was slammed against a wall by a Mack truck, one with icy iron hands that circled my throat, cutting off my air supply.

"EDWARD! YOU PUT THAT BOY DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

The bellowing belonged to Bella. As my eyes shot open, fueled by adrenaline, I saw her across the room horror-stricken.

"No. Not after what he did to Nessie," Edward answered through clenched teeth.

In a flash, Bella was before me, her body placed protectively over mine, reminding me of the many times Moira had ended up in the same position. The sight must have brought Edward to his senses; air rushed into my lungs as he dropped me to the floor. He was being restrained, I reminded myself to keep the defensive anger from surging. He could have crushed my throat the moment he first touched me. He wasn't intending to kill me, only to frighten me.

Mission accomplished.

Edward took to pacing, brooding, stalking me. I was keenly aware of how disturbed you need to make a vampire to get them to pace. Like, through experience.

"Explain yourself," he demanded, coming to a stop six very intimidating inches from me.

I said nothing, but couldn't stop the events playing over in my head. Why not? It was going to replay in my head the next time I saw her anyways, so I might as well just get it over with. I made sure to focus on the part where his blood-sucking daughter pinned me to the bed and tried to kill me.

If Edward had a pulse, it would've been racing, and his face would have been scarlet. "You told her _Do whatever it is that you want to do most?_ Are you insane? She's a vampire! What did you think she would most want to do?"

 _Duh. I was kind of hoping something else._

Bella's patience grew thin. Given the direction of the one-sided conversation, I wondered if her commitment to protect me held. She distanced herself, standing instead by Alice, still stationed nearby. Then the damn little pixie began whispering in Bella's ear. Though I couldn't hear any of it, I knew from the shift in Bella's expression that she was telling her what Carlisle certainly relayed. Bella's eyes bulged, and I knew I'd just lost my closest ally in the room.

Edward growled at me. "Look, this is over, Mathias. Jacob will be out in a just a few more days, and I strongly suggest you don't even offer her a handshake from now on. Jacob doesn't control his anger as well as I do."

I played my only card. "You mean Jacob will be out _if_ I agree to cooperate. Sure, I'm certain a prison wouldn't be a barrier to you if I refuse to help. But the Volturi are watching, you know they are. If they see anything suspicious in the media, they're going to pounce early and slash hard. You haven't even marshaled your troops yet."

"Is that the way it is, then?" Edward's reaction was not one I anticipated. "Fine. Only, you're going tell him yourself."

He grabbed my arm and nearly jerked it out of the socket as he dragged me towards the door. Bella threw herself in front of the passage to block our exit.

"Edward, you're not seriously going to make Mathias go explain this all to Jacob alone, are you?"

Edward fumed, but apparently couldn't deny Bella's concerns completely. "I'll be there, listening to hear what they're both thinking. If things start getting too tense, I'll…"

Bella shook her head. "That's not what I meant. Look."

Only, she didn't say anything else. Still, Edward's expression shifted. Without talking, she's found a way to tell him something. _I thought Ren said that Edward couldn't hear Bella's thoughts?_

Edward finally turned to me and smiled. Evilly.

"Lucky for you, Bella is right."

So as I sat like a child in a time out in the front seat of his car, I shouldn't have been so surprised when he opened the back door and guided Ren in.

Bible stories didn't often seem apt to situations involving vampires. Still, I couldn't wash out the image running through my mind as Edward pulled out onto the main road.

Adam. Eve. Tree. Apple.

God.

{{{{Renesmee}}}}

Three minutes, ten seconds.

That's as long as I could hold it in.

"You're a fucking mind freaker!?" I shouted, hitting the back of the headrest with all my might, nearly breaking it in half. Edward had seen my movements coming, and had pushed Mathias far enough away from the splintering piece so that his skull avoided injury.

"Yes, I am fine," Mathias answered sarcastically, not even addressing my question. "Carlisle said I didn't really lose that much blood. Only three stitches. Thanks for asking."

I growled at him instantaneously. He only laughed quietly. "Don't change the subject! How long have you been screwing with my head?"

Mathias exhaled, and I knew he was deciding to play nice. "I tried first that day in the boathouse, but you seemed resistant to it. I didn't know just what you were then. But, when Moira told me that she thought you might be a hybrid, I got it. You're half-human, so my charms only have half the effect on you as they do on others."

Things were still clicking in my head, and the next block that fell into place shifted my anger from Mathias to Edward.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Uh-oh.'

"Uh-oh is right. How long have you known about this, _daddy dear_?"

The term of endearment was delivered through gritted teeth. Any vampire would have sworn from the tone that I not only had venom, but I had invented the stuff.

"I figured it out the morning you woke up in Moira's bed," he answered sheepishly. "When you refused to take the soda, Mathias willed you to take it. I heard his thoughts coming from your head. Then you echoed him, and repeated his thought as your own."

"And you couldn't share the fact the boy who I was fantasizing over half the time was able to get into my head and swirl things around?"

Mathias's head peaked over his shoulder, showing a proud brim of smile. "You were fantasizing about me?"

"Can it, shish kebab."

Mathias smirked and faced front. "I get it. I'm food. How original."

I was surprised when Edward sounded so taken aback. "It wasn't my secret to reveal, so I just kept as close an eye as I could. The less people who know, the better, if the Volturi ever surfaced again. Which, I'll remind you, they have."

"I see!" I continued to lambaste him. "So keeping some ancient vampire's secret was more important than passing information to your daughter that would have saved her from being coerced!"

Mathias nearly jumped over the back seat. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Back the bus up here, princess. I never made you do anything you didn't want to do yourself at some level. I'm not that strong. True, I might have stoked the fires a little bit, but, honey, you lit the match. Oh. My. God. Are we actually having this conversation in front of your father?"

I shared his frustration. It probably wasn't the best place, but what was the point? If we rowed in private, Edward would know the second one of us came too close afterward.

Or, I would kill him.

"Holy crow, Dad! You did this on purpose, didn't you? You don't care if Jacob sees that I didn't kill the guy whose blood is clouding my eyes. You wanted us to have a supervised shouting match."

He smiled knowingly. "Don't give me credit. It was all your mother's idea. Beside, like you said, Nessie, _in loco parentis_. Until Sekhmet arrives, we are responsible for Mathias's safety, even if that means keeping him safe from you."

The car slowed as we came into Port Angeles proper, and as we waited at the security gate while the rent-a-cops inspected its insides for contraband, I felt my anxiety shift from anger at Mathias to anticipation of seeing my Jacob.

Jacob!

And Mathias. Together. In the same room.

This wasn't freaking fair. I had waited for this day for almost six months, and now it was being marred by the presence of Math- _you-only-tried-to-screw-me-because-you-really-wanted-to_ -ias.

Maybe it wasn't too late to finish what I started and drain him of the rest of his blood.

"Stop, Nessie."

Edward didn't even need to say stop what. He damn well knew that I understood. I watched with complete misunderstanding, however, when he began to unravel a wool scarf from around his neck and tossed it at Mathias's lap.

"Put this on. Don't give her a visual and provide any more motivation."

"Do cashmere scarves have some vampire-repellent qualities I'm not aware of?" Mathias scoffed as he nonetheless obediently lapped the material around his neck.

Edward parked in the marked visitor spot near the front entrance. As he put the car into park, he sat back and slapped his forehead in frustration.

"I didn't bring the I.D.'s," he groaned. "Hmm, maybe we can dazzle our way in."

I felt the pit of my stomach drop as I realized I was not going to see my Jacob after all.

"Oh, screw it. Come on." Mathias returned, exiting his car door and slamming it shut. "Let's find some guinea pigs and see what I can do on the west coast, hey?"

Mathias had already crossed the fifteen feet between the front door and the car, and was impatiently holding open the door for me to walk through. I turned, waiting for Edward.

"Come on, Dad. Just run. No one will see."

In the space of 1.2 seconds, the car door opened and shut, and a flash of diamond skin took shelter in the breeze way of the prison's visitor reception area. A middle-aged, pug-nosed woman in thick coke-bottle glasses looked up from behind her reception window, oblivious to the superhuman feat, and smiled.

"Mr. Cullen," she giggled. "Why, we haven't seen you for a few months. I was starting to think something had happened. How's your sister? "

Edward fell into his human façade without hesitation. "Bella's just fine, Norma. Thanks for asking. I, uh, came to see Jacob again. But I forgot my ID, is there any way I could ask you to do me the favor of…"

Norma pa-shawed him with a wave of her hand. "Of course, Edward. You don't need to ask. But, um, are those two with you?"

Norma eyed us suspiciously, particularly me. For a moment, I wondered if I met her somewhere before, perhaps on a shopping trip to Port Angeles with Alice. She seemed to recognize me, though I couldn't place her.

"Yes, my cousins, Matt and Ren. They're good friends of Jacob's, too. But, they don't have their ID's either. You think you could just let us slip by? I swear, they're totally on the up and up."

Norma clicked her tongue. "Oh, no. I shouldn't even let you in, but being as we already haveyou're your information on file. But them? I'm sorry, I'd need to see photo ID."

Mathias paced forward and looked deep into Norma's eyes. She quivered from the intensity. I knew the feeling.

"Norma, let Ren and I go see Jacob. You're also not going to tell anyone about this. Understand?"

Norma's eyes went blank and she nodded. She grabbed a walkie talkie from the desk and pressed the button to open the channel.

"Visitor for Jacob Black. Jacob Black, please report to processing."

"Wow, that is impressive," Edward let escape from his lips after we were walking up the hall past the security door. "No wonder she's been so protective of you. If the Volturi ever got a hold of you…"

{{{{Mathias}}}}

"… you can see why she won't let that happen," I concluded Edward's thought. "As it is now, hardly a human can resist. Vampires, though? As manageable as herding cats."

We entered the visitor's area, looking every bit like every prisoner visiting room in every movie or cheesy cop show on television. This one had four separate stations, each with a traffic-cone orange, Formica chair dating back to the Carter administration, echoed on the other side of the safety glass for the prisoner, and with a telephone on the right wall of each station's dividing wall.

Ren sat, trembling, fidgeting in a way that I'd never seen in her kind. I fought down my instinct to comfort her. I stiffened my resolve, reminding myself that she wasn't trembling because of me, but because of _him._ I didn't know Jacob. I had never even seen a picture of him. For some reason, however, I was quite sure I wanted him dead. Moira warned me that the fate I treasured so much would eventually turn on me one day. Suddenly, I knew that day was today.

I recoiled, repulsed at my own selfish animosity, and remind myself that Jacob was her first love, the man she said that will make her happy. Fate set the universe in motion for them to be together long ago. Alice was wright, even my longing heart can't deny how many elements of the universe had to come together for them even to have chanced meeting each other. I should have surrendered to that truth. That's what I did, after all: surrender to fate. But for the first time in my life, I found myself refusing to yield. I wanted to fight for her. I wanted the chance to live for her. If necessary, I wanted the right to die for her.

The door behind the glass buzzed, and made Ren nearly fall off her chair. Jacob emerged through the door, dressed in a traffic-cone colored prisoner's suit to match the chair he will sit in. I admitted he was the type that girls find handsome, but he seemed too old for Renesmee. I laughed, because I had eleven years on her myself. Every boy who's achieved a third-grade education is too old for her.

The moment I saw his face, I knew I would lose this battle. He was in awe of her as he looked at her with the gaze of a man who has roamed the desert for forty years, only now to find water. Ren was his water, his comfort, his sanctuary.

His face broke into an astonished smile. "Nessie?"

He succeeded in holding back tears, but she can't. Ren advanced to full-on melt down mode.

"Jacob."

In mirror action, both pressed their hands to the glass. My eyes fell to Ren's hand, which just a few hours ago was actively downloading intimate directions into my mind. Though they didn't speak, their eyes said far more than mere words could contain. For two minutes, they sat, staring, unmoving except to administer to their tears. Finally, Jacob squinted and lowered his hand. He didn't bother with the phone. It only occurred to me after I saw it in real time that neither or them need it; a werewolf and a vampire can hear just fine through the glass. Luckily for me, Moira had taught me a lot of things in hopes of helping me defend myself against possible threats, and the ability to read lips was one of them.

"Your eyes," he mumbled. "Shouldn't that be, you know, gone by now?"

Ren shied her head away, and even I felt pangs of guilt go through me. I recalled myself: I wasn't the one who should feel guilty. She was the one who bit me, even if I did basically tell her to do it. She made the choice.

"I had a… relapse," she whispers. There were probably microphones in this room, and Ren knew that as well as I did. Her words were measured and selective. "But, I didn't… go all the way."

I dreaded the next question I knew he would ask.

"Who?"

She didn't turn her head, but his gaze tracked to me, the realization and accusation of burning in his eyes. Suddenly, we'd become reflections of the same emotions. He wanted to hurt me for my relationship with Ren, as much as I wanted to do the same to him. The query in his gaze shifted from a question of victim, to a question of motivation. The evidence sits in Ren's gaze, and in the scarf around my throat.

Edward must have sensed the tension mounting, too. He probably heard the suspicions growing in Jacob's mind. Part of him might have even wished that Jacob could get to me, but this wasn't the place to have a human ripped to shreds by a werewolf. He moved next to Ren and picked up the phone. For show, of course, but Jacob understood the importance of keeping up the charade, and lifted the receiver on his side.

"Jacob, this is Mathias. We'll explain more later. He's going to make sure things go smoothly on Monday. Don't worry about Nessie; she hasn't strayed too far."

"Eddie, I don't get it. Why… Nessie, did you…"

He didn't seem as angry as I would be, only confused. He would be angry soon enough. Jacob's head dipped, and the tenor of his voice slipped from joy to sorrow. "I thought… I thought you loved me?"

Ren could hardly contain herself, but she tried to put on a brave face. "I do. I love you, Jacob, more than mortal bonds could ever contain. If I could touch you, you would see. But Mathias has been a good friend. He's protected me from despair while I've been without you. But he means nothing to me now that I'll have you back. Nothing."

The most crushing word in existence was "nothing", especially when it fell from the lips of the woman you love.

Edward jumped into their conversation.. "Jacob, don't. The heart can be torn in two directions, but the soul always rights itself in the end. I can hear her thoughts, and right now there are no words which express how much Nessie loves you."

Every assurance that vampire gave felt like another stone on my chest. _Fate has led me here. Fate has led me here. Why? What is my roll? Show me, because I can't see it right now_.

"Then why is this…guy… still hanging around her? In case she needs a snack?"

Jacob's voice took on harsher tones as his understanding and compassion faltered. Didn't he know how much Ren needed to be comforted? How much she needed to be touched? How much she needed to be loved? I stepped in when he could not. He should have been thanking me.

Fate found her voice and whispered her answer in my ear. _She needed to be touched. She needed to be loved. She needed to be comforted. She still does._

 _By him._

 _So, you do everything you can to make sure that happens._ That's _why you are here._

They all looked surprised as I grabbed the phone from Edward's hands. "Jacob, my name is Mathias Dragonovitch, and I am in love with Renesmee. And that's why I will not see her suffer. If you want to hate, hate me. No one would blame you. But no matter what you think of me, I will help you. I will lay down my life if necessary to make sure that you two are together. Whatever assures her happiness. You have nothing to fear from me. I may have tried to sway her, but her heart never left you. I will not fight against that, and I will not fight against you."

Jacob stared, wordless. Then his eyes drifted down to Ren cupping her hands over her mouth.

"Nessie, is… whatever… you had going with this guy over?" She nodded, but doesn't look at him. "Okay, then, Mathias. I guess the universe was bound to bitch slap me for making a play for Bella, so we'll call it even."

The light-heartedness of this broke Ren into giggles, mixed with tears. She pawed the glass like a puppy, mumbling something almost too soft for me to hear. Gently, Edward pulled me back as we allowed their loving-gaze-a-thon to continue. Six minutes later, Ren emerged looking both over the moon and as if she'd been thrown under a car. I wasn't really certain why, and I didn't really care. All I cared about was that I wanted to hold her.

The clouds have moved in from the ocean during our visit. We drifted slowly to the car. To my surprise, Edward escorted Ren to the back seat and then motioned for me to join her. Her tears confused me; I didn't know if she wanted me to draw her close or stay put. As the car pulled away from Port Angeles, Ren quieted herself. She laid down across the back seat, putting her head on my lap.

"Just let's forget it happened," she said softly. I tentatively reached out my hand to stroke her hair, and smile when she didn't resist. "We both were to blame, and we know it was wrong. I know where my heart belongs now, and I won't be tempted again."

"Okay, if that's what you want."

She turned her pleading eyes on me. "You are still going to help him, aren't you? Even if I don't want any sort of relationship with you, you weren't just saying that in there, right?"

I smiled, and she relaxed a bit. "I didn't understand how broken you were until now. He made you whole in there, even if just for a moment. Of course, I'm going to help. I love you, remember?"

I would make it my right to protect her. The Volturi would not destroy something so beautiful and whole as their love. The lofty Italian coven would see this union as an abomination. They would find their excuse, and seek to destroy them.

They'd have to go through me first.

She remained silent until we arrived to her family's house, her check resting on my leg. To my surprise, she turned out to be asleep. Edward picked her up gently, motioning for me to follow. Though I was sure he meant to traipse slow for my benefit, I found it difficult to keep up as we bypassed the mansion of a house, and wonder through the underbrush and off into the woods. Some 15 minutes later, we came upon a small cottage in the middle of nowhere. The sunlight dissipated, letting the iridescent twilight of an early winter's evening begin its descent. Edward set Ren on the floor in a small front bedroom, where Bella waited. She threw a cover over Ren, then joined Edward and I in a second bedroom devoid of furniture with the exception of some blankets and pillows piled in the corner. Edward informed me I would camp here for the night, away from the house full of vampires. As I'd yet to see said throngs, and too tired to ask why I had been so dutiful separated, I kicked off my shoes and made an impromptu bed.

Several hours had passed when I awoke from the sound of talking coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. One voice in particular had me jumping out of my blankets. The door turned out to be cracked, as though someone had been peaking in on m. I paused before opening it more, knowing it might not be safe. I hadn't seen her since right before the Boo Ball. She didn't trust herself around me in her current condition. She never has.

Of course, they heard me. My pulse shot through the roof from the anticipation. Their voices died away, so I lingered, throwing my thoughts out instead, hoping the Edward will hear them.

" _I want to come out. Does she have herself under control?"_

Two seconds later, the door opened. I looked straight past Edward, to my olive-skinned, amber-eyed beauty. She was beaming at me, but still, I wasn't sure who _she_ was. Sekhmet and Moira were the same person, of course, but it was easy to forget that. It wasn't quite that my adoptive mother had two people living inside her. I'd always thought of it more like binary stars, pulling in tandem together around one center of gravity, but both just as likely to go supernova. They both loved me. They both protected me. They both raised me. But Moira was never tempted by my blood or my power. Sekhmet's control sometimes lapsed.

" _Dusho moja_ ," she cried, pulling me into her embrace a little too forcefully.

I groaned. She'd forgotten how weak my body was compared to hers, especially now, and loosened her clutch, but she refused to let me go completely.

Edward and Bella looked on, all smiles. Alice and Jasper stood nearby, too, and Jasper seemed to be getting a contact high from the love running between us.

"Perhaps we should give them a little time alone?" Bella suggested.

I looked at Moira with a questioning gaze.

"It's okay, I have it under control now. You're safe with me. I won't hurt you."

As the others took their leave, I noticed that Ren's door was opened, but I can't see her lithe frame inside.

Moira runs a hand over my cheek. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't be near you, but I had to be sure that it was safe. Is everything okay?"

"It's no problem. I understand. Of course, thank you, for not being near me until you were sure you wouldn't kill me," I laugh. "Your consideration for my life is duly noted."

"You wanker! You know I would never hurt you. Besides, I hear someone got their nails into you first."

I pulled a breath through my teeth. "If by nails, you mean teeth, and if by someone, you mean Ren, then yes. But it's my fault."

"I heard. I'm just glad you're okay, and Ren seems to have taken a lesson from it, too. So, all's well. And I know about the trip to the prison, and what you did there."

"It was necessary," I sighed. "Are you mad that they know about me? They would have all figured it out eventually. I'm kind of glad they know. One less 400 pound gorilla in the room to deal with."

Moira chuckled, lifting my spirit. "Yes, twenty gorillas done, one overbearing gorilla to go. Might as well do away with that one too. Better they hear it from me than from the Volturi when they show up."

"You mean, you're going to tell them?" I ask. "You're going to tell them about your past with the Volturi?"

She nodded. "If we are to fight, we must do so with the full knowledge of why. They must be made to understand my part in it, if they are to have any confidence in me as their leader in battle. Leah Clearwater has gone down to gather the wolf pack. Everyone is to meet here at midnight. I will tell them then. Everything."

I hesitated to ask the question that had been burning in the back of my mind since they told me what happened at the Boo Ball. "If your antivenom is gone now, are you still non-venomous?"

"I think not, but I don't think the anitvenom is really gone. I still feel it within me, I just can't find a way to give it back control. Maybe if I were to…"

She cut off her words and chased the shadow of ghost from her face. When I looked at her confused, she just smiled and tried to wave away my concern.

"I'll explain it to you when I'm a little more certain of it myself."

"So, if you wanted to, you could cross me?" I asked sheepishly.

"NO! Mathias, how could you ever think such a thing! I told you, with your power, you would be too much a tool in the wrong hands."

But I'd been considering my arguments carefully, and this time, unlike the past, I was ready to make my case. "Who could oppose me? No one could be my master, except, maybe- you."

She looked at me abhorrently.

"I cannot be trusted with that much power," she said. "I have proven too many times in the past my short comings. Mathias, this conversation will not continue. What you ask is out of the question."

"But I could protect _them,"_ I argued, motioning to no one in particular outside the cottage. "I could protect _her._ If you cross me now, I could even fight in the battle."

She growled, and something in her countenance suggested that it was Sekhmet answering now, not Moira. "If I cross you now, you are as likely to kill her as to save her. The blood lust will drive you mad, and her heartbeat will be too much of a temptation to you. And you will destroy any of us that would get your way. Or worse."

"Worse?" I asked.

Suddenly, I realized just what _worse_ could really mean. I shuddered, understanding for the first time the true reason that Moira would never change me, or allow me to be changed. And it wasn't fear of my power, or who would use it. "You're afraid I'll use you as a tool, aren't you? That I would use you as a weapon of mass destruction."

"I know you think that you wouldn't, but once you felt the power to control us, I don't know that you could resist. I will not take that chance. Enough, I must go now. I have to speak to Eleazar."

She looked at me with pangs of disgust and regret. I fell backwards through time, becoming the little boy she found nine years ago. Defiance and obeisance in one heartbeat.

"Please, Sekhmet," I begged, "give me what I need to protect Ren."

"I made you a promise to myself the moment I decided to make you my family, and I hold true to it still. Mathias, I love you. I will do everything in my power to protect you and do right by you. But, if you cross, if somehow venom touches your veins… then, I swear to all the gods of heaven and hell, I will kill you myself before you ever reawaken."


	28. Rush Turn Spin

{{{{{{{{{{RENESMEE}}}}}}}}}}}

I had been pacing around our property for at least two hours, going nowhere in particular, trying to keep down the "rush" that happened to a vampire after they fed on adrenaline-laced human blood. Usually, it hit within moments of the first taste, and reinforced the frenzy. However, "usually" did not usually apply to me. It took several hours for it to come on in my case. I'd avoided the experience from my first kill because Jasper had forced me into a comatose state. This time, however, it hit me, and hit me hard. The euphoria disorientated me, and I rose from my nap tasting prey, any prey and every prey, and wanting to kill something, or someone. Edward and Bella had circumvented me and sent me outside, where I tracked and killed my first mountain lion. The rush made it easy. It increased my abilities, heightened my senses, and made me feel empowered.

But as my father had warned me, the rush was short lived. Two hours later, with the blood of the lion in my system, and the relatively small amount of Mathias' s blood that I had actually ingested, I crashed. I paced, and walked, and strolled, trying to equal out my composure and jitters. Jittery was a human condition, of course, and I just looked silly as all get out to the others as they watched me from the house, swinging my arms wildly and walking up and down the drive way; anything to get my metabolism up and get Mathias's adrenaline to burn off. I was completing another circuit and had reached the front of the house when I heard the familiar rumble of a precision-tuned engine turning down our drive, and the shear squeal of its female occupant as she attempted to set a new land-speed record between the road and our house, bringing her Bugatti to a stop just inches from my mortified body.

Moira and Jasper burst out of the car laughing and screaming, like they just won the lottery. I wasn't even sure for a moment that she had seen me when she nearly plowed me down.

"So," I called to break up the revelry, "BFFs are we, now?"

Of course, it was all Moira's doing, I told myself. Jasper was feeding off her exhilaration.

"Sorry, Ren, but really, I never would have hit you. Did I frighten you?" She had a hand on Jasper's arm, and I wondered at their closeness. It didn't seem inappropriate, only surprising. Jasper usually did not warm up to anyone easily, and Sekhmet's reputation made him reluctant to accept her altogether. Yet, it appeared that a cross country road trip had bonded them.

"Your driving was okay, but you're kind of freaking me out now," I answered.

All of the sudden, her joy evaporated, her laughing froze, and she looked at me sternly.

"What happened? Where is Mathias?"

 _Damn. She saw my eyes._ "He's fine. He's sleeping in the cottage, last I knew of. I… um. Well, I only took a small taste, but it was his fault. He _told_ me to do it."

Jasper's body likewise stiffened. Behind me, I heard a few of our guests open the door and look out, but they were all considerate enough not to emerge.

"What do you mean, he _told_ you to do it?" Moira asked leadingly.

"I mean … he…. TOLD … me to do it," I said, nodding as I over-accentuated.

A sense of understanding broke out over Moira's face. Her anger seemed to intensify, but at the same time shift away from me. She began cursing loudly in a language I didn't understand, occasionally throwing in Mathias's name at intervals.

"Where is this cottage?" she suddenly demanded, a sense of urgency in her voice that I had not heard from her before.

I turned towards Jasper with pleading eyes- pleading human blood-stained eyes. "Can you take her? I can't face him yet."

Jasper regained his composure for my benefit and nodded. "Quite a high, isn't it, Nes?"

My face broke into an uncontrolled grin. "I see why it was so hard for you to stop. I don't think my body has ever been so… alive."

They took off running and I flipped out my cellphone to learn the time: 7:35 PM. Too early to go to bed, and even with the rush ebbing more and more by the moment, I still didn't think it wise to be close to Mathias yet. Still, I found myself overcome with weariness, and I sought out the only remaining bunk at Cullenwood that I knew of: the hospital bed.

A few hours later, Esme was nudging me awake.

"What's wrong?" I muttered through sleepy eyes and tingling lips.

"We have to go down to the cottage with everyone else," she whispered. "I don't you up here all by yourself."

My lips formed the obvious question. "Why is everyone going down to the cottage?"

Esme only folded her arms over me and raised me up, handing me a cup filled with aromatic hot liquid. She smiled at my questioning gaze.

"Coffee."

"Um, thanks?"

I drew a sip of the nectar from the mug, and was surprised to find yet another human food that wasn't just nearly tolerable, but quite appealing of its own accord. No wonder there was a coffee shop on every corner of every Washington town. It was almost as good as cherry gelato. I gulped it all down greedily as we made our way outside, joining the contingent of almost forty moving en masse through the woods. I flipped out my cell phone again, 11:55 PM. I looked through the surrounding darkness as flashes of fur sweep by - many, many flashes of fur. Were both packs here? Sam's and Jacob's? I felt a rush of exhilaration come over me: us plus the wolves would total nearly 70. In a struggle with the Volturi, we were beginning to look like a force to be reckoned with.

On the porch of the cottage stood Bella, Alice, and Eleazar. I made to move towards my mother, but Esme pulled me back gently with a smile. This was not the time to be at the center of attention. I felt a brush of fur against my right leg, and looked down to see Seth sitting beside me.

I crouched down to him, embracing the wolf around the neck,. "Taking Jacob's place at my side, are you?"

He licked my hand lovingly, and I kissed the top of his head.

The cottage door opened, and Edward, Jasper, and Garrett emerged. Two wolves took to their sides: Sam and Leah. How these months must have ripped at Leah's heart, having to lead the pack in Jacob's place, which would have required constant interaction with Sam on a human level. Since Jacob was only in jail and still technically the alpha, Leah would not have been able to mindspeak with him. Even now, I noted that they perched themselves on opposite sides of the porch, Sam next to Garrett, Leah on the other side next to Alice.

An expectant silence fell over us. The door stood open behind them, and my breath caught when Moira stepped out, and Mathias behind her. I had seen her only a few hours ago, but she looked so different now. I barely recognized her. Was it because in Maine she was always enveloped in her human persona, playing the part of a sweet, run-of-the-mill high school history teacher? She had always looked nice, but never flashy. Her long hair had always been either hanging plainly at her side, or tied back in a simple bun. Even her Boo Ball costume had been extremely tame, a full length dress that left nearly everything but a small sampling of her cleavage to the imagination, despite Alice's attempts to mark her up with cosmetics. Even then, I thought, Rosalie had given her a run for her money.

Now, as she stepped out on the porch of our quaint cottage, I could see her as the Goddess the ancients held her as. She was "sexy" personified. She wore all leather- tight and sleeveless around the top and sloping outward to a full length skirt from her hips, and a design down the front that vee-dipped all the way to her navel. Her breasts were exposed like half moons in the valley. Even her shoes, high-heeled and black leather, added to the package. Her hair had been straightened and cascaded over her shoulders and chest. I could see why she had once been worshipped.

Mathias, on the other hand, seemed the odd one out. He was surrounded by divine bodies, and as handsome a human as he was, he didn't fit among them. He shifted uncomfortably, almost cowering behind Moira. Others, those especially who were new and had not been with us the last time, eyed both of them suspiciously. Finally, the silence was broken.

"And just who are you, peach?" asked a blonde-headed vampire a few feet from me in a heavy Australian accent. His eyes and his question were clearly directed at Moira.

"I have many names," she replied in her high-brow English accent. Funny, it had never occurred to me to ask her why she spoke that way, and not like an American. "But none will tell you who I am."

"How about _sexpot?_ " Rosalie, who I now noticed standing behind me with Emmett, mumbled lowly. Clearly, she was not immune from jealousy.

But the Aussie didn't accept the indirect answer. "Try me. Clearly, you're the one everyone's been whispering 'bout. But, funny thing is, we don't bloody well know who the hell you are. Or why it seems someone has decided you're our leader."

Moira stepped purposefully down the steps and cut across the crowd at vampire speed. As she approached, her gaze was almost strong enough to knock him over. A few feet from him, she twitched her hand absently through the air, only raising a few fingers as if pointing, and the vampire found himself helplessly suspended five feet over the ground.

"What the bloody fuck!"

"Since you're so concerned with labels, perhaps we'll start with your name."

"Fuck off! And put me the fuck down!"

With a sneer and a twitch of her eye, we observed in horror as his hands severed from his body and fell with two light thuds to the ground. He screamed in agony, and his demands turned to grovels.

"Jesus, please, put me down. What the hell! Aidan. They call me Aidan."

He fell in a clump inches from my feet. His severed hands twitched and flailed, but Carlisle rushed to his side. He acted the doctor, though a little out of character with a vampire, and held Aidan's hands as the venom worked its magic and reunited the appendages.

Every fearful eye found its way to the goddess and observed as the corners of her mouth curled ever so slightly, showing her content with her demonstration.

"You ask for my name, and I will offer you these: Moira Arrashk. Akeldama Hermapolou. Evangeline Croix. Mai-Fan Li. Ugandi Betrayu. Raihranya Sai Rayanna. Hecate. I have been called a thousand names in a hundred tongues by a million men, vampires, and creatures you've never dared to believe exist. What name you know me as is of little consequence. What you need to know of me is that I am you're only hope for survival. "

As I caught a glimpse of Carlisle's face and its loathing for Moira, I could not recall having seen him ever so cross, so angry, so _vampiric._

I understood his frustration. This was not our friend. Moira had been strong, but compassionate, and hardly the domineering. As Sekhmet, she presented herself as controlling and harsh, and lacking of any shred of kindness. She was cold. I had seen her only a few hours before, and she seemed full or grace and joy, driving her stupid car even delighted her. Where had my friend gone? Was it because of me, and what happened with Mathias? Was this the way she was funneling her anger?

"That was uncalled for!" Carlisle shouted at her.

Esme pulled me close, unaccustomed as well to this side of his nature, only seen fleetingly the moment before he killed prey.

"This is not a social junket, Carlisle," Moira retorted, making her way back to the porch. "We are going into battle, and I will suffer no disobedience."

Carlisle snapped. "No one here has even yet pledged you loyalty or agreed to fight!"

Moira sneered at him, and motioned with her arms and gaze outward to every side of those standing next to her on the porch. "Those you see before you have already pledged loyalty. But the loyalty, brothers and sisters, is not to me. The loyalty is to _our_ goal."

Aidan, the Aussie, barked up again. "And, pray, love, what is your lofty goal?"

She let silence grow, using the tension to further isolate her intent, and then answered very softly and lacking of any uncertainty:

"To destroy the Volturi."

A great clamor arose, some shouting in support, others appalled and in disbelief. The wolves added to the confusion with howls and yips. Esme shuttered as Carlisle came to her, his face drawn in clear disappointment and anger. Seth squared his body next to me, and directed a low growl in Moira's direction.

"Impossible!" Liam shouted. "We were lucky last time, and our purpose was just: the defense of Renesmee's right to live. What now, then? What can justify such a desperate and doomed measure?"

Moira drew herself level with the crowd again, like a general addressing his troops before battle. "We fight for our right to survive, brother, though I know each of you has come here for different reasons. Some of you have come in defense of the Cullens, knowing of or being witness to the events of seven years ago. Some of you are nomads without a coven, scared of the rumors of the coming war, and seeking out defense in numbers. Some of you have come to exercise your own demons against the Volturi's interventions into your existence. I do not seek to justify your purpose, or validate your decision to join us or not. But, I will tell you this. Whatever brought you tonight, the result of your presence is universal: you are now associated with me, and as such the Volturi, if left unstopped, will kill you."

Tanya scoffed. "Why should you be so important that the Volturi would destroy us for just having been near you?" She hesitated suspiciously. "Who are you _really?"_

"I am Sekhmet."

Tanya's expression was incredulous, like many of the others. "Yeah, right. Sekhmet is just a legend."

But Maggie of the Irish Coven stepped forth. "She speaks true. I detect no falsehood. But that means little. What's in a name? How do we know how to separate the legend from the truth? Some call you the scourge of the Nile, the eye of Ra, the punisher of mankind. And some call you the great defender and savior of house of Pharaoh. Your legend is a contradiction of mythic proportions. How do we know which of your faces you'll show to us? How can we trust you anymore than we trust the Volturi."

"I vouch for her honor with my own." Bella drew the attention of the crowd away from the goddess as she descended to her side. She took her hand in her own and smiled at her warmly. "She has been a friend to us. She shielded us from discovery, and defended us at great personal risk against Alec, Jane and Demetri when they found us in Maine. She has made decisions for our benefit which have cost her in ways you cannot imagine, and greatly. You have no reason to doubt her intentions." She glanced quickly at Aidan. "Even if her methods are sometimes a little drastic."

Tanya continued. "Okay, Sekhmet, how are you so convinced that they will come for all of us? If they're after you or even the Cullens, why take all of us out in the process?"

Moira glanced appreciatively at Bella, but then smiled ruefully to Tanya. "Because, that's what I taught them to do."

I felt even my own breath catch, as did that of all the others around me. I flashed a glance at Edward and Jasper, and they seemed equally surprised. For a moment, my eyes met Mathias, and I was hurt when he lowered his head in shame. He had known. He had known the truth all this time.

"Fifteen centuries ago," Moira continued, "when the Dracule destroyed my family, I swore that I would have my revenge. But, being weakened by the recent attacks I had endured, I was too weak a warrior to do so on my own. I had heard of the coven growing in Volterra. I sought them out, and using my talents and my knowledge as a lure for their allegiance and aid, I led them in battle against the Romanians, destroying all but two of the coven.

"In the human world of that time there was a great shift in ideology. The new religion that was spreading was painting the ancient beings as spawn of Satan, as demons, as the unholy. Of course, on a one to one basis, no human was a match for a vampire, but there were others- the wolves, the shapeshifters and … other beings … and they were not strong enough to defend themselves. We could hardly be an army of virtue and appoint ourselves as defenders of the non-humans, because I knew we also had to protect humanity from ourselves. But our world needed an overseer, a structure. I forged the Volturi into that authority. I made them kings. I taught them in the ways of war, both human and vampire, in the art of negation and politics. I crafted Aro and Caius into men of great influence and disclosed to them all the secrets of the ancients and the manners and ways in which power could be sought, held, and left unchallenged. I taught them how to manipulate and wield weaker minds, and how to destroy those who refused to yield. In the meantime, I used their growing guard to seek out other covens which might pose a threat to them and destroy them, and I convinced them of the threat posed by the children of the moon, and set out their guard to hunt down and destroy them as well.

"And then, when I felt they were secure in their foundations, I tried to leave. I wanted to be left alone with the pain of my memories, of my lost children, both my human children who had been murdered in front of my eyes thousands of years before, and my hybrid daughter and son who had been taken by the Dracule. I wanted to mourn the loss of my mate. The Volturi refused to let me go. My gift was too useful to them, and would be an even greater strength against them, they realized, if I ever found cause to oppose them. We brokered an accord. I promised to never again establish a coven, and to offer obeisance to their authority, in exchange for their promise to maintain one credo: keep our world secret and contained. Then, in 1946, I visited the Volturi to call them out for their intrusion into the human world, despite our agreement."

After her speech, the voice of another person almost registered a shock, as Carlisle, now cooler headed, asked, "What had they done?"

"They were preparing near the end of the war to administer a concentration camp under the Nazi occupation on the outskirts of San Cipriano, not far from Volterra. They were to use it as nothing more than a human farm. The Nazis wouldn't have cared how the Volturi exterminated their prisoners, and in exchange the Volturi would have a near constant source of food. But in order to make these arrangements binding, it was necessary to share some of the secrets of our world and offer certain favors to some of the senior German officials. Hitler had an odd fascination with the occult, and his officials were all too eager to believe in the truth of our existence. Luckily, I uncovered the plot before the captains were able to relay the information back to Berlin. Soon, the tide of the war turned. The camp at San Cipriano was never able to become a reality, the technical fact of which, along with the death of the humans involved in the transaction, meant that our accord was technically in place.

"And so it had held for so long, until last week, when they came for Renesmee. Wisely Bella and Edward refused to allow her to be taken. I understood the lure a full grown hybrid would hold for the Volturi. As powerful as our kind our, we have limitations. A hybrid can interact in the human world in ways that might be difficult for us. I also knew that once they had Renesmee, they would easily be able to manipulate the rest of her family to join them. Once Marcus and Caius had opportunity to observe their minds, they would know how much I cared for the Cullens, and how I could be bent to their will again to protect Renesmee from harm. I choose to fight that destiny, and to send a clear message that my adherence to the accord was over. I claimed the Cullens as my coven, and killed Demetri."

Moira paused, looking at the sea of shocked faces staring back at her in awe, in contemplation. I held close to Esme, feeling the burden of being the turning point that had caused Moira to destroy a peace which had held for so long. Now she had been forced to turn to war. She might die, like so many of us might as well. Mathias would be exposed. The Volturi would come for him; surely they'd assumed any human who captured Moira's attention held secrets. Once they knew his, he'd be turned and used.

And it was entirely my fault. I could not help the tears from beginning to fall, and the eyes of everyone drew to me. Bella crossed the crowd and Edward joined her, holding me closely in a comforting embrace.

"You mustn't think that," Edward whispered softly, stroking my hair. "You can never blame yourself for the actions of others."

"But, it all comes back to me!" I whimpered through my tears. "Maybe I should just surrender myself to them. I would rather lose my own life than to ask another to die for me. I am not worthy of such sacrifices!"

Bella looked sternly at me, the way only a scolding mother could. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Don't you ever dare say such a thing. You are worth every sacrifice we have ever made for you, and a thousand more. Don't you understand the miracle you are, dear? How could you ever question yourself like this?"

"So, what is your plan?" Liam called, breaking through my tearful cries and forcing my focus back to Moira.

"The Volturi use a swarm and conquer strategy. It's was what I taught them to do in ancient times, something I learned from the Carthaginians. Based on what I've gathered from their attempt to bring about a battle last time, they are still using it. Their weakness is that they have not adapted, and that weakness is our greatest strength. We must force an offensive on Volterra, I propose in six days."

"We cannot be ready for a war in six days!" Aidan shouted. "There are far too few of us, besides the fact that Volterra is a fortress surrounded by a human population. How do you propose we take a fortress and kill at least forty vampires without being noticed?"

"I don't propose we do any such thing," Sekhmet answered. "We will launch an offensive on Volterra, alright, but we'll flush the fortress. We will engage them outside the walls of the city. About six miles to the east, there are nothing but open fields which will be dormant this time of year. We must bring them to us. They will be all too willing to cooperate to move the fight away from their beloved nest."

Jasper nodded in agreement. "I see. You're saying, send a small contingent into the fortress, while our forces lie in wait outside the city. If we supplement by laying snares in their path, it will weaken them all the more."

"They will use their pawns to pick off as many of us as they can, before throwing the guard at us," Garrett added. "If we had the wolves actually in the walls of the city, on the path they will need to take, they could cut the numbers before they even breach the walls."

Sekhmet smiled widely and circled her hands in the air as though she were shifting imaginary objects about. "Yes, and once the Volturi are flushed out, the wolves can bring a secondary attack from the rear. Of course, it will be the more dangerous front, as the guard will tend to hold towards the back. Seth, Leah, your thoughts?"

Edward became their spokesperson. "Sam agrees. Leah says the decision for her pack will have to be made by Jacob. And…oh. They wonder how they are going to get into Italy. It seems none of them have passports."

"Passports?" Moira squealed in delight. "Good heaven, do you still use those? Don't worry, I have a very simple way to smuggle the whole pack into Italy undetected. Passports? Ha! Really, that's too good, wouldn't you say Mathias?"

Drawing attention to Mathias proved to be her first mistake. All the vampires and the wolves had come off the porch, as the crowd was now beginning to break apart and discuss in smaller groups. But Mathias had remained, leaning against the frame of the front door. He was exposed to us all, and it seemed the strain of his recent outburst of laughter had reopened the sutures, and several distinct, crimson drops of his blood started to soak through the bandage.

I got to him just as I heard the growl of the Aussie ring across the opening.

"No!"

The force of my body impacting with his threw him into the open door of the cottage and landed him onto the floor. Aidan's attack landed instead on me, his teeth down over my back left shoulder blade, and the force strong enough to break the skin. I could feel the heat of my own blood being pulled forth for a split moment, and then the pressure released, and his growls descended into shrieks of pain.

Edward and Bella rushed forward intending an attack, but Moira used her power to hold them back.

"You mustn't touch him, he is infected! It will kill you both."

A quick glance at Mathias told me that he was not injured by the fall, only knocked windless. He was already attempting to stand. Aidan, on the other hand, was ruined. He clutched his throat, gurgling and gasping. Convulsions racked his figure as he fell to his knees and then to the ground. Rolling over on his back, I could see his eyes bulging, the little blood he drew from me swirling over his irises, and turning them unvampiristically bloodshot. His skin became like parchment, cracks stretching across his face and neck like parched mud on a river bank. Graying over, his hair began to turn into dust and blow away. Little by little, the body that had filled his clothes disappeared; leaving only granules of sand.

I felt a tug at my arm, and realized that Mathias was attempting to bring me through the doors and into the cottage. I yielded, still trying to make sense of what I had seen. In my confusion, it took a few moments for my brain to register that the dull pain on my back was intensifying and that it was beginning to burn like fire.

"Moira!" Mathias called. "Help her."

Blurred in my vision, I did not know if it was she or Alice or Bella that came rushing forward. Someone picked me up and put me on the floor of my room. A clicking sound reached my ears, and I discovered it was the sound of my teeth chattering. Other noises became mottled and indistinct.

I thought I heard someone, perhaps Bella, yell for Jasper. The smell of sandalwood tickled my senses as I was rolled on my side and the shirt I was wearing ripped away from my body, followed by an icy sensation over the fire. The contrast made my body stiffen, then quiver.

This must be what death feels like.

With my last shreds of self-control, I reached out my hand, hoping for someone to take it. Someone did, and held it firmly. If I were to die, I wanted him to know my last thought was of him. I forced my last strength into releasing the image, to pouring forth all my love focused on his face.

 _Jacob._

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Moira}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I had hunted too much. No amount of blood, be it from beast or beauty, could satiate this thirst. The amount of concentration I had focused over two and a half days of withholding and slowly drawing out the venom from Ren's bloodstream had drained me. I was burning through deer blood like rain puddles evaporating in the summer heat, leaving her side briefly every few hours to seek out more prey.

I needed something human, but I'd sooner die than partake of the only option available.

Thank goodness Jasper and Carlisle's combined sensory and medical efforts had been able to keep Ren more or less sedated. The venom would have been painful enough to endure, but I could not have borne the guilt of seeing her face wretched and hear her screams of anguish if she had been awake as we repeatedly drilled into her body, finding pockets of the Aussies' venom, isolating it with my mind, and draining it out through the brutally-made puncture wounds. The process made me feel like a heathen, but the weeks of pain she would have experienced if I had allowed her body to process the venom on its own until it burned away would have been too difficult for all of us the suffer. Thank the gods that would not be one memory she would ever be able to share with us.

"Moira, we're going."

Mathias was standing Ren's bedroom door with Jasper right over his shoulder, both dressed in suits. It never hurt to look nice when going to court.

"Are you certain you don't want me to come with you?" I asked, even though we had had this conversation six or seven times in the intervening days since Ren's incident. No, Carlisle and I would stay behind while the others made their way into Port Angeles and found a way to sneak Mathias into the jury's chambers. Without Jasper nearby to reinforce the human sedative, Ren was likely to wake up soon. She might have questions, the likes of which I was uniquely qualified to answer.

"We'll be back soon. If everything goes well, perhaps he'll be here, too, when she wakes up," Mathias answered.

I released Ren's hand and laid it gently at her side. Carlisle kept his eyes averted from me, and locked onto her. I took Mathias's hand instead, and led him from the cottage.

"Give me two minutes with him first?" I asked as we passed Bella and Edward waiting on the porch. As soon as we were out of the clearing, I drew him into my arms and moved us quickly, more quickly than running or flying, moving atoms around us in a blur. In the space of six seconds, we had traveled miles, well out of earshot of any of the vampires, and especially Edward.

"What was that?" Mathias laughed as he stumbled around from the dizzying experience.

I smiled back, a little dazzled myself. "I wasn't actually sure it would work, but Eleazar said he was pretty certain I was capable of it. I should know better than to doubt him. Whoa, that really socks the energy though. I'll need another deer tonight."

Mathias's face grew solemn. "And the other thing? What did he say about that?"

I shut my eyes to block any sadness that he may perceive and turned away from him. "Yes, he thinks I'm right about that, too. Of course, there's a catch. Isn't there always? _You_ know what I mean. I couldn't bring myself to do that again."

He threw his arms around me from behind and held me as tightly as his little human strength would allow. "You would, if it was the only way, and you would be strong enough to overcome it."

Lifting his hand from in front of me, I kissed it very gently and held its warmth against my cheek. He shuddered slightly, and I recoiled at the recollection of how different things were between us now. But, I reflected, it was not because I was no longer clinging to being human, or as much a human as an anucktumai was. It was certainly more human than being a vampire. No, it was because somewhere in the events of the recent weeks, Mathias had ceased to be a child. Even as temporal as mortality was, it was still a wonder to me to watch children grow, to become men of the world, and heart breaking ultimately to see how all the life and vigor that the world brought them was useless. Their bodies would age, and wither, and die.

Someday, Mathias would age, and wither, and die. And I would be alone. Again.

"You know how proud I am of you?" I asked with broken tones. I may have cried if such a feat was still possible. "You have become a symbol of my very hope for humanity. You are the greatest treasure I have ever unearthed."

"I wish she had seen it that way," he grumbled, reissuing his arms around me as I let go his hand. He pressed his warm cheek to mine and rocked us side to side. He was so much taller than me now, at least three or four inches. He rested his chin on my shoulder.

"You think you have no hopes of winning Ren, then?"

He shook his head in my hair. "None. That blinding flash of Jacob she downloaded in my head when she thought she was dying was the cap of it all. They're meant to be together. I'm just content now that I get to play a part in making sure that happens."

I smiled and closed my eyes, throwing all my being into enjoying the sway he was leading me in. I felt like a willow in the wind, light and airy. "You loved her so selflessly, even though you had yourself convinced that fate was presenting her to you on a silver platter. I'm really impressed with how you're finally overcoming that silly belief in fate."

He scoffed. "I haven't overcome anything. I just read the sign wrong."

My eyes rolled. "Oh, god, not again. You really are such an annoying gypsy sometimes, do you know?"

With a speed a vampire might have envied, he pulled my chin towards his face and focused his blue eyes intently into mine.

"And you are a frustrating goddess who doesn't realize fate has set her up too," he boldly stated, and his gaze softened oddly. "But a very beautiful one, nonetheless."

I was certain we both felt the electricity flowing between us, but I didn't even realize I'd made the decision to act on temptation until it was too late.

Too many emotions raged through me when I pressed his warm lips to mine. My hands reached up to embrace him of their own volition. The panic of what I was doing ebbed the moment he answered in kind. He led my body to face his and pressed fully into me, backing me against a nearby tree. I felt a rage of passion run up my spine. My breath was racing, as was his, and the taste of him on my tongue was fueling dangerously the temptation of his blood. And at the same time, flashes of him in more innocent times forced themselves forward in my mind, ripping my soul into two different directions.

"Stop!" I yelled as I pushed him stalwartly away. His face was full of hurt, but his breath was still staggered, and his eyes confused. "Oh, my god. How? This can't….it's insane!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I only… What the hell? Did that just really happen?"

I paced about trying to roll back the bloodlust. And, the other lust. Mathias took a few steps back. He knew my pacing about never signaled anything good for him.

" _Happened_. Past tense. And won't happen again!"

Mathias shook his head in confusion, and I saw that devilish curl of smile come across his face. "But, it felt so… right."

I closed my eyes in denial. "It doesn't matter. We both know it was wrong."

"Why?" Mathias questioned. "We're not really related."

I scoffed. "Well, isn't the pot calling the kettle black? I think that's the argument I've been having with you for years. Now, I finally accept it, and you decide you don't want me to be your mother."

Mathias's temper was rising as quickly as my own. "I never would have pressed it so hard if I had known that I was going to fall in…"

"Stop!" I screamed, and then calmed myself before my temper drew out my baser instincts. "Don't finish that sentence. This is impossible. I can't! You can't! "

"I KNOW!" Mathias yelled. "This is so fucked up."

I recoiled at his profanity. It was rare that Mathias acquiesced to the use of such terms.

"Fucked up is right," I agreed. "No, this stops here. We will never speak of it again."

I began to walk away, thinking perhaps to run. But we were miles from the cottage, and they needed to leave in just minutes to get to the court house. I was going to have to take him back with me, and that would mean holding him close again. Damn.

Damn damn, and damn again.

"It would change things between us considerably," I muttered.

"Invariably," he agreed.

But he was right. Kissing him felt so right, natural. Almost like kissing Sorin had felt, but softer, more endearing.

No, I must not allow myself to consider it. No matter what my body said, on its face the idea was abhorrent. "We have to get you back. The others will be waiting. Now, if I hold you so we can go back, do you promise to be good?"

He nodded curtly. Gingerly I approached and wrapped my arms around him. His breath on my neck sent the senses reeling. I bit my tongue to deny myself the temptation of tasting of either his lips or his blood.

"Well, let's see if I can handle this in reverse then. Hold me tightly."

That was a foolish thing to say. As the woods around us twisted and turned in my occluded vision, I felt his lips find me again. It broke my concentration, and instead of ending up in front of the cottage, we ended up on top of it, his lips still to mine, Edward, Jasper, and Bella staring at us perplexed from below.

"Moira?" Bella called. "How did you do that?"

"You promised!" I hissed through clenched teeth, lowering my forehead to his chin.

"Actually, I didn't," he smirked, and tried for my lips again.

"Catch, Bella!"

I pushed him forcefully off the roof and into Bella's arms. Edward looked on from a few feet away intrigued, half smiling. No doubt he heard all the overly romanticized gobbly-gook that was going through Mathias's head, and knew for certain his daughter was no longer the object of his desire.

Or, he just really liked seeing Mathias pushed him off the roof.

Bella lay him on his feet and Edward put an arm around him and began leading him towards the main house.

"Look like you're having quite a week, Mathias," Edward chuckled.

Bella glanced up at my questioningly. "Are you okay?"

With a groan and a slap on my forehead, I gave her a shame-faced nod. I stepped off the ledge and landed next to her.

"No need to linger, Bella. Go, I'll give you call if Ren wakes up."

She still hesitated, and looked as though she were trying to say something that refused to be uttered. Finally, she drew me into her embrace.

She kissed my cheek and whispered a quiet, "Thank you."

I circled my arms around her breathed in her scent. Freesia. It took me back across thousands of years to memories of South Africa, to cloudy memories now veiled by venom and time.

"You're welcome, dear. But for what?"

"For being there for Renesmee these last few months when I could not," she muttered, pulling herself back. "I don't think you understand how much it's meant to me and Edward. I only hope we're able to repay you someday."

I gave her a little giggle. "Want to help me take on an ancient and powerful coven of vampires and crush them into nothingness before they kill us all and destroy our way of life? Then we can call it even."

"Deal!"

She turned on heel and ran off into the forest. I chuckled for a moment at her innocence. Bella was still so young, so inexperienced in the world despite her multiple encounters with the Volturi. What was more surprising, she had chosen this life willingly, and Edward had seemed to embrace it. That was Bella's undeniable sacrifice. Even heading into the murkiness of our current predicament, they were still giddy with love.

I went back into the cottage and returned to Ren's little side bedroom. She lay on the makeshift bed on the floor, Carlisle sitting a few feet from her with his back against the wall, staring off into space. I sat silently beside him, waiting to see if he was going to say anything. It was the first time he and I had been alone since the gathering, and I sensed that he was looking for the opportunity to address his frustrations to me.

"Why did you have to be so quickly cruel?" he finally asked, still staring blankly ahead.

"Aidan was hot-headed. He would have been difficult to control in battle. I had to establish myself as his superior unquestioningly," I answered just as emotionlessly. "If I had known he would have tried to attack Mathias, I would have killed him straight away, and Ren's ability would not have been exposed."

This triggered in him the anger he had been suppressing the last few days. He shifted his body in my direction, and I could see his eyes weighed heavy with misunderstanding. "What gives you the right to deny a life so quickly? Don't you believe in redemption?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Dr. Cullen. Tell me, in all your years doctoring humans, have you ever had to save a patient who was in peril due to their own heinous actions? A thief perhaps, who was shot while trying to make a getaway? Or a rapist whose attacker had somehow gotten the upper hand and found a way to stick a knife in his chest? And yet, you did it, didn't you? You picked them, put them back together, and tossed them back out in the world. What gives you the right to grant a life so quickly? Don't you believe in condemnation?"

"That's not the same," Carlisle argued. "A doctor takes a Hippocratic oath, to uphold certain standards of professionalism and humanity. The doctor treats the body. I help sustain life, you take it away."

I scoffed. "Carlisle, sustaining life is one of your biggest faults."

He shot me an offended look.

"Your intent was no doubt just. You crossed Esme, Edward , Rosalie and Emmett out a sense of compassion. I would say your decision was even valiant. But, really, Carlisle, what kind of life have you provided them? You play doctor, and they fall into line to allow you to do it by posing over and over as high school students? Edward and Bella have a child of their own, for the love or Ra! Why are you so resistant to letting them grow beyond you?"

"I never demanded they stay. If they wanted to leave and be on their own, they would be more than welcomed to," Carlisle returned. "Rose and Emmett actually do from time to time. Bella and Edward haven't, but with Nessie's situation, it made sense for them to stay close."

"Well," I said, motioning casually at Ren's unconscious form, "she's finished. And you know why they're still here. They feel like they owe you too much to ever leave you. I guess that's our pack mentality partly to blame. Oh, don't look at me like that, Carlisle. Our instinct to group isn't as obligatory as the wolves, but we certainly have that tendency."

Silently we sat for some time, keeping an unbroken watch on Ren.

"All I wanted was a family," Carlisle offered quietly after an hour. "I was alone for so long. I've never regretted what I've done for my part, though some of them have at times have begrudged me the decision. Still, I can't deny the ramifications of our existence. Esme, Edward, Emmett- they all have taken human lives. I guess I see myself as balancing out the equation a bit. I work to save humans, to somehow compensate for those that my creations, my _family,_ have taken. I have tried to be an example to them of humanity and compassion. I know the danger posed by Aro and Caius, but I can't resolve the conflict of your preemptive strike based merely on your assumption of knowing what they will do. It goes against the grain of everything I have labored to instill in them."

"Carlisle, as old as you are, you're still like a child to me. You have not paid witness to the horrors I have known. Jasper understands a little, but even his experience is nothing like mine. You befriended the Volturi. I can understand even given their attempts on Ren why you are so reluctant to go to battle with them. But I _know_ them in a way you don't. I forged them. They are a reflection of me, Carlisle. And knowing what I would do in their position, I cannot afford to take chances. I am protecting your family as much as my own. If that means I must commit murder to save the lives of those closest to me, I will do that, without hesitation, and I will make no excuse or seek forgiveness for doing what I know must be done. I could not have lived for so long if I had done any less."

"Yes, but what do you live for?" he queried.

I turned a confused grimace to him.

"Go on, now. You just analyzed me to a tee. Turn that spotlight on yourself. What. Do. You. Live. For?"

"Redemption." I bowed my head. "I have convinced myself that I can somehow make up for all the consequences of my existence by seeing this one end through. If I can destroy the creation I made, I will have done my part. If I can keep Mathias… safe, I will have saved a life worth saving."

My memories betrayed my confidence as images of the kiss ran through my mind. I stood finally, and paced across the room to look out of the window. In the not too distant forest, I saw the wolf they called Sam patrolling. The afternoon wore on as I stood motionless in the window, waiting for Mathias to emerge from the trees. The sun had crossed its zenith, and a sunbeam shot at a lazy angle through the canopy and sent rainbows fracturing through the room. Behind me, Ren stirred, a slight groan emanating from her chest.

Carlisle was beside her in a moment, doctoring her lovingly.

Ren 's voice was soft and weak. Her eyes fluttered open. "What happened?"

"You threw yourself in front of Mathias and were bitten by Aidan," Carlisle informed her in a very professional-sounding doctor voice.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, Ren, he's dead. Your blood is poison, just like I told you."

"No, not the vampire!" she exclaimed and she labored to sit up, Carlisle assisting her. She grabbed her head and flinched. "I mean Mathias. Is he okay?"

 _Yes, great. Great kisser to as it turns out, but you already knew that._ "You knocked the wind out of him, but he's just fine. In fact now that you're up, Carlisle?"

"Yes, right." Carlisle nodded and exited the room. He returned just twenty seconds later, and handed Ren a sports bottle. "Sorry that it's cold. There's nothing to heat it with here except hot water, and that doesn't seem to be doing the trick."

"What is it?" Ren queried.

"Mathias's blood." She turned to me in shock. "Taken very cautiously by the good doctor here. You'll heal faster if you have human blood. And Jasper kept him very calm during the donation, so there shouldn't be adrenaline for you to deal with."

A surprised look came over Ren's face as she took a swig from the bottle. "Jasper was able to sit by calmly while human blood was drawn?"

"Jasper's progressed substantially," Carlisle answered with the prideful smile of a father radiating from his face. "Are you in any pain, Nessie?"

She gave a slight nod. "My head hurts a little, and my muscles are sore, but not so bad. I thought I was dying when he bit me, though."

"A little of you was," I told her. Both Carlisle and she looked at me confused. "The venom was attacking your human anatomy. It never would have actually killed you, but it would have left in horrible pain for weeks while your body processed it. Luckily, we were able to remove most of it, though it did take a while."

A slurping noise echoed through the room as she chugged the last of the blood, and she gave a little belch.

Her cheeks blushed and she tried to quickly change the subject. "So, will I be good enough to go to Jacob's sentencing on Monday?"

Carlisle and I exchanged timid looks.

"It is Monday," Carlisle said. "The others are already down at the courthouse. In fact," and he glanced at his watch, "they should be back anytime now, if everything's gone well."

"WHAT?"

She jumped up and ran to the bathroom before slamming the door. Carlisle may have been as confused as I was, but I doubted it. We both followed her, but only knocked lightly at the door instead of knocking it open like I was tempted.

"Nessie, what's wrong?"

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Renesmee}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Were they kidding? Couldn't two vampires of their years put together the simple facts? I was about to be reunited with the love of my life, who also happened to be a werewolf with an overdeveloped sense of smell.

I opened the door reluctantly and gave their blank expressions disappointed stares.

"Jacob already knows I had a fling with Mathias, but by the grace of God he forgave me for it. Now, he's going to show up here any minute, and I'm going to reek of his blood!"

I saw the understanding cross their face.

Moira grinned. "Oh, Ren, he'll understand. Take a quick shower, maybe some of the smell will dissipate."

A shower couldn't hurt in any event. Besides, according to them, I had been laying unconscious for the better part of three days. I'm sure I didn't look to appealing after that.

"Fine. I'll try that."

"Well, then, I'll go up to the house and see if I can find you some of the clothes Alice has for you."

Carlisle took his leave. Moira turned more slowly.

"Moira, wait," I begged. "Are you sure that Mathias is okay?"

She drew a confused smile and nodded. "Yes, he's quite fine. Why do you ask?"

I shook my head reproachfully. "When I asked before, this really peculiar look came over your face, almost like you were trying to hide something from me. I just wanted to be sure."

She gave a slight chuckle. "He's… perfect."

I smiled my thanks, and closed the door. Her suggestion had been a good one. The hot running over my body soothed my sore muscles, and the remnants of the headache began to cede. I overindulged a bit, and after twenty-five minutes the water ran cold. I stepped out of the shower and searched the cabinets for a towel.

No towels. No washcloths. Not even tissue paper. Damn.

I cracked the door slightly, and billows of condensing steam rolled out into the cool air of the cottage.

"Moira, is there anything out there I can use to dry off? Could you maybe hand me one of those blankets I was sitting on."

A few moments later, a cotton sheet was thrust into my hands from the door. I held it up to my face first and began to pat myself dry. A peculiar scent in the sheet made my senses twitch as my mind tried to comprehend the possibility. Without pausing to think, without any regard to the fact that I was wet and naked as the day I was born, I nearly tore the hinges off the door as I threw it open.

He smiled at me broadly; his eyes a little shocked perhaps, but met my gaze directly, before moving his eyes to survey the rest of me.

"Hello, Nessie," Jacob whispered. "It's good to see you. All of you."

There were no words I could offer, only actions. Without another hesitation, even if it would cause my father to burst in the doors and find my naked, wet body pressed to his, I threw myself at Jacob and pressed my lips mercilessly to his.


	29. Unity

If I had not felt myself burning into cinders in his arms, I would have thought I had fallen in the shower and bumped my head.

But I hadn't, and he was really here. Jacob, _my_ Jacob, was here!

So desperate and fervent was my kiss that it took me a moment to remember that this was new: I had never kissed Jacob before. And now, my legs were wrapped around his hips and my arms locked around his neck as my naked, wet body pressed into his. He hardly pushed me away, but he was more or less unresponsive under me.

I broke our kiss and looked into his deep, brown eyes. Was he crying? Or was the water dripping from hair and falling on his face?

"Jacob, what's wrong?"

"Your eyes," he muttered softly, almost accusingly. "Why are they red again?"

I growled in my frustration as I lowered myself to the floor, picked up the sheet, and wrapped it around me.

"It's not what you think, Jacob," I answered shamefully. "Carlisle and Moira made me drink it – from a sports bottle, nonetheless. I guess Mathias was the only donor available, and they were just trying to help me get better quicker."

"Better?" he demanded, his eyes filling with concern and desperation. "Nessie, what happened? Did somebody hurt you?"

"Yeah, but don't worry, he's dead." This did not calm him in the least. Instead, he began running his fingers nervously through his short, black hair. "I mean, he died after biting me." More tense glances. "Oh, dear, I guess a lot has happened that you don't know about."

"I know we're going to war," Jacob stated. "I know that the Volturi came back for you."

"Oh, so you _did_ meet Moira."

He returned a blank, questioning stare.

"Or not," I sighed. "Jacob listen, there's a lot to discuss. Just please, can we talk about it all later? We've been separated for so long. Oh, I still can't believe you actually did it. What put the notion into your head? Confessing to a murder you never committed?"

Jacob was taken aback by my comment. "It was the only way to protect you!"

"What makes you think I needed your protection? We would have found a way out of it. What benefit was it for you to leave me for six whole months? We've barely been apart for more than a day or two my whole life. What did you think I would do without you?"

Jacob kept his distance, but looked at me confused.

"I was more scared of what would happen if I didn't do it," he muttered apologetically. "I was more worried about what I would do… without you."

I ran into his arms again, and this time he responded in full, pulling me tightly to him in an embrace that would have crushed a human. He kissed the top of my head and stroked my cheek, pulling at the sheet at the same time closely around me.

"I did it for you," he whispered in my ear. "I did it for us."

"I know, and I love you all the more for it," I cried, covering his dampened t-shirt clad chest in butterfly kisses. "Now you're back, though, and I want to pretend it never happened. I want to just pretend you never left me, and I want you to promise to never leave me again."

He placed both his hands over my cheeks and turned my face upward to meet his gaze. The intensity burning through his brown orbs almost broke me.

"I will never leave you again. I promise." His kissed me gently, drawing his lips over mine with a reverence that only the holy should ever experience. "I love you, Renesmee, more than anything else in the world. I will never, ever leave you."

Whatever will I may have had to restrain myself evaporated in a wave of love that was almost tangible. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled myself the difference in our heights up to meet his lips. Jacob's arms encircled me and dragged my body close to his so that my feet dangled several inches off the ground. The sheet, soaked through with moisture, fell with a sloshing plop to the floor. Jacob slid his hands down my back, past my hips, and cupped each of my inner thighs to pull my legs in a wrap back around his waist. My mouth beseeched his for attention, and he answered intensely. Our knowledge of how to draw out the life from each other's lips seemed instinctive, and we exchanged nips and playful bites in turn.

Jacob's hands massaged my back side, and I felt desperately frustrated that my body was laid bare for him to peruse, while his was still selfishly fully clothed. With a quick pull and a rip, I evened the playing field a bit by tearing his t-shirt from his torso. He gave me sly smile as he walked me back towards the modest kitchenette of the cottage.

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" he asked, pulling from my mouth for a moment in joyous contemplation.

"Only if you want me to," I answered, tilting his head back and kissing down the front of his throat. His blood, at least, held a scent that did not appeal to my taste buds, but blood was blood, and a pulse was a pulse. I felt my own pulse quicken all the more at the prospect of having his body and his blood, and worked hard to suppress the later. "I might be able to stop if you tell me to now. Otherwise you're going to have to fight me off."

"Nessie..." he moaned as his hands moved down the back of my legs still straddled around him and his mouth explored the area where my neck and body met. "There's not even a bed here."

I pulled back my face and shot him a reproachful look. "You are a wolf. I am vampire. What do we need furniture for? We'd probably just break it, anyway. Wait a minute!" I gasped, my whole body tensing stiff in his embrace. "Why isn't Edward charging in here and tackling you to the ground?"

Jacob chuckled. "Bella gave us sixty minutes of blockage time. Seeing as that was about thirty minutes ago…."

His lips curled into a devious smile as he looked down at my bare breasts and began nudging them playfully with his lips. A rush of heat ran down my spine and ignited a fire below.

"Oh, Jacob," I whimpered as my body reacted, and my hands cupped his head to pull his mouth further down over my breast. "Jake, please, I want you so much. I've dreamed of you constantly. Jacob, take me. Make love to me."

In an unexpected move, he pulled back completely, setting me gently on the counter and taking few steps back.

I felt cold and crushed. "Did I say something wrong?"

He shook his head slowly as he bit his bottom lip. He clearly had something to say, and he was clearly torn about saying it.

"I have dreamed of nothing but this for six months. And believe me, I want this, now and forever. I want you to be sure, though, that you're ready for this. Bella may be blocking him out right now, but sooner or later, whether it's tonight, tomorrow, or a week from now, he's going to know."

"Oh, Jacob, he knows how much I love you," I interrupted. "He won't hurt you. I swear, he won't."

Jacob gave small chuckle and shook his head in disbelief. "You think Eddie could hurt me? No, dear, that's not what I'm talking about."

I was perplexed. And still very naked and getting more frustrated by the moment. "Then, what?"

Jacob sighed and smiled lightly. "Renesmee, when you left, you were barely more than a child. I see you now, and you _seem_ so grown up. You know I love you, and I've waited patiently for this day to come for so long. But, if we take this step, you have to be ready to face the consequences. You won't be a child anymore, Nessie. You're going to have to stand up to Bella, and Edward, and Carlisle, or any of them. You'll be accountable for your own actions, and accountable to yourself too."

I nodded tersely in understanding. "You're worried that I won't be able to face my parents, then? I'm not ashamed of this, Jacob. I am yours completely, and I will face the consequences of whatever decisions we make together without excuse or denial, just as long as we make them _together_."

He smiled lovingly at me, and I knew he understood. I had just pledged my heart and soul to him. I was his property, and he was mine. We were bound to each other in a way that neither the beasts of hell nor all the beauties of heaven could lay waste to. I threw my arms out wide and flicked the tips of my fingers coaxingly.

"Now," I said with a penetrating exhalation, "are you going to take those pants off or do I have to tie you to a tree and have my way with you?"

Sadistically, he laughed. "Aren't we traditional? I thought you pointed out the obvious? I am a wolf, you are a vampire. Is that what comes naturally to us?"

No, what came naturally was attack. Not that I had ever had the inclination to attack Jacob, and I didn't think he could ever dare to attack me. He stepped forward and swept me up into his arms in a moment. I was a little off put when instead of taking me back to the bedroom, which seemed like the appropriate course of action despite its lack of a bed, he walked us outside.

"What are you doing? Someone's going to see us!"

He kissed me to stop the words coming from my mouth. "Everyone's staying up at the house. Even the pack has cleared out for a while."

e set me on my feet just a few yards off the porch and stepped away. My confusion was steadily turning to anger.

"Jacob Black, what in the name of all creation are you doing?"

Jacob covered his eyes with his bronze hands and began steadily counting backwards from twenty. At fifteen, he paused and looked at me teasingly.

"You're not going to get too far if you don't start running."

Suddenly, I got the gist. He didn't want to just lay me on the floor of the house. That was too human. He wanted to hunt me down and claim me as his trophy. I realized then with aching need, that I wanted to be hunted.

Without another thought, I ran full speed through the drizzle and into the forest. As I did so, I heard Jacob charismatically speed up the rate of his countdown. At zero, a distant faint crack was the telltale sign that he had phased.

My instincts began to take over when I sensed that I was being pursued. My pulse raced out of control, both in irrational fear and undeniable anticipation. I took in shallow, quick breathes, surveying the air. I crossed the river (barely) in a leap, and then felt wrongly for it. I didn't want Jacob to plunge through the cold water just to get to me. I leapt back across, but the misstep had cost me precious seconds. More than his scent, I could hear his footfalls a mere thirty or forty yards away. I shifted direction and ran back up the hillside, leaving the sound of him trailing farther back. When I reached a clearing that gave me multiple choices of direction in which to bolt, I paused and surveyed the options around me, trying to determine the path that would slow me down the most and allow him to catch up with me the quickest.

The momentary delay was all he needed. His graceful, lupine figure cut through the air in my direction. I spun around in time to see the furry paws hit my shoulders and force me down to the ground. He stayed in wolf form for an instant, growling at me heatedly, before lowering his gaze and forcing himself back across the human divide.

His naked human body covered mine fully and secured it to the forest floor.

"Caught me," I whispered.

"And now, I'll never let you go," he assured me.

"Jacob, is it true that wolves mate for life?" I asked between visits to his earlobes.

"If that's how long you want me," he returned as his mouth played along my throat.

I pushed his head back and denied him access.

"No," I stated firmly. "I want you longer. I want you forever."

After our coupling, I pulled myself alongside him and laid my head on his shoulder. His arm circled around me and drew me closer.

Evening had fallen, and the rain clouds cleared for a few minutes, letting the moon in three-quarters phase to shine down on us through the disintegrating twilight. Given the overpowering sense of divine sincerity I was feeling at the moment, I was a little taken aback when Jacob began to quietly laugh.

"Well," he said as he kissed my forehead. "We didn't plan this out very well, did we?"

"What do you mean?"

"Clothes," he answered stroking my cheeks. "You don't have any."

"Neither do you," I teased.

He cast me a sideways grimace. "I can phase, you know."

I scoffed. "Well, that hardly seems fair now, does it? Well then, what to do?"

He stayed silent as he thought for moment. "We'll go close to the cottage, but you stay back in the woods a bit. I'll run inside and find you something."

"Carlisle told me he would bring me some clothes from the house when I got in the shower. Maybe they're sitting back in the bedroom."

We both sat bolt upright when the echoing of a voice from a quarter of a mile away reached us.

"Okay!" Bella's voice rang. "Time's up! You got five minutes to get back before your father sends out a search party."

"Well, screw that plan, then." Jacob laughed as he turned his head and kissed my cheek. "Time to see if you're as big a girl as you thought you were."

"What do you mean?" I asked. He eyed me knowingly. "You can't be serious! You want me to walk naked into my own house in front of my parents?"

"I told you you'd have to take responsibility for your actions," he laughed, standing up. He offered a hand to me and pulled my naked body up to his. "I'll phase and block you, you sort of crawl behind me. We'll go straight to your room. I'm sure Bella and Edward won't want to see you any more than you don't want to be seen."

"Fine!" I agreed through clenched teeth. "You're probably right. Let's just get this over with."

The tension of discomfort found my muscles again, but melted away as Jacob pulled me into his embrace again and kissed me mercilessly. My body reacted immediately, my hands traipsing about his waist line, working their way down to find him. His hands stopped mine from any further explorations.

"Not now," he cooed, stroking my hair back from my face.

"When then?" I whined. "You don't think that little tryst is going to tide me over too long do you?"

"Naughty Nessie."

I felt like a child being admonished. "Actually, I prefer Ren."

"Raunchy Ren, then."

I made to mock hit him, but he phased before I could land my fist, and took off running back toward the cottage. I was quickly on his trail, dodging trees and rocks with ease through the dark, feeling somehow more connected to the land as I ran _au naturale_ across the landscape. Jacob stopped just short of the clearing in front of the cottage and waited for me. I could see Edward and Bella talking to someone out of sight through the front window, and saw Edward's head snap up and gaze out the window frame as we timidly approached.

"Bella, we're about to have another rutabaga moment," I heard him say silkily but sincerely. "Maybe you should, um, block me just a little longer."

Jacob had heard him too, and the wolf's head crooked to the side in curiosity.

"I'll explain later," I said, begrudging having to explain anything having to do with Mathias to him.

Bella emerged on the porch and caught a glance of Jacob and me on the edge of the clearing.

"Nessie?" she asked. "Why are you hiding?"

"Um, mom, do you think you could, um, get me some clothes or a blanket maybe?"

"Oh!" she said in realization, turning back into the house and remerging seconds later with a collection of fabric in her hands. "Jake, there are some pants here, too. Come inside as soon as you're ready."

She gracefully went back in the cottage leaving Jake and I to dress. Jacob phased back over and pulled the sweat pants quickly on. For me there was a simple full length, brown cotton dress, but no underclothes. Oh, well, I guess another shower would soon be in order anyways.

"Ready?" Jacob asked, holding out his hand to me.

I put my hand in his and pulled myself up to give him one more gentle kiss on his chin. "Ready."

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed gently. "I love you, Ren."

"I love you more, Jake."

Edward called out from inside. "Enough already. Get in here. She needs to talk to Jake."

Jacob pulled me along with him through the door and we looked across the foyer to see the four of them seated in a circle on the floor where once the piano had been: Edward, Bella, Moira, and Mathias.

Jacob pulled me closer, wrapping his arm around me possessively. Mathias looked up at me knowingly and smiled slyly. Before I could stop it, before I could control it, an image of kissing Mathias leapt to the front of my mind and crossed over our contact points and into Jacob's internal vision. I heard his breath hitch, and I tensed in preparation of his lashing out. None came. He only held me closer and kissed me gently on the crown of my head. Edward glanced quickly at us, not moving his head but shifting his eyes up only. Bella was beaming.

Moira and Mathias rose, the former tersely holding out a collection of papers to Jacob. He took them apprehensively, withdrawing his arm from around me and paging through them slowly.

"What is this?" he asked.

"It's a print out of my Wikipedia entry," Moira answered plainly. I shot her a curious look. "At least, insofar as I'm Sekhmet. I'm tired of explaining over and over who I am to wolves."

"Um," Jacob muttered, "what are all the highlights?"

"Oh, Mathias did that," she answered proudly, passing him an acknowledging grin. "Those are the things that are actually true."

Jacob looked at her perplexingly, as did I. As much as she seemed transformed in my eyes in recent days, she still had the teacher persona down. She was warm and bubbly, and much the same way I remembered her in Maine. How is she able to turn it on and off like that? One night a pleasant schoolmarm, the next a hell-bent vampire demigod?

Jacob began to mutter through the marked up document, reading aloud select phrases as he did so.

" _Warrior goddess…protector of the pharaohs… led them in warfare…"_

"Feeling better, Ren?" Mathias asked expectantly.

"I'm feeling splendidly," I answered a little too fervently. Edward's posture shifted uncomfortably.

"See, I knew it!" Mathias declared with a big smile, throwing his arms up in the air in a victory. "Romani blood! Strongest in all creation! It's the elixir of life, Ren, and you're welcome to have it- in moderation."

Edward mock coughed. "Mathias, maybe you shouldn't boast about the virility of your blood given current company."

"… _sparkled in the sun…avenger of wrongs…. The one with bloodlust_ …" Jacob continued to quote. "Huh, you don't say, a bloodsucker who likes to suck blood. Well, slap me twice and call me handsome."

"Wolf, I know we have some historical tensions, but…" Moira began.

I sternly cut her off. "His name is Jacob."

"Yea, bloodsucker, Jacob," Jacob added as he continued to peruse the article.

"Now, look here…" Mathias countered. "This is a goddess you're talking to, dog."

Moira clicked her tongue. "Mathias!"

Mathias guffawed. "He started it!"

"I know her name, gypsy. It's right here in an annotated report. And see here: it says, _her blood was not quelled in battle and led to her destroying almost all of humanity_. I call that encyclopedic bloodsucking."

"Gentlemen!" Bella exclaimed, throwing herself between Jacob and Mathias as they began a testosterone-driven stare down. "This is not the time or the place for your petty arguments. We have business to discuss."

Jacob put the papers down to his side and looked expectantly at Moira. She gave a fake cough, and stuck at her right hand formally.

"Let's start this over, shall we? How do you do Mr. Black? I'm Moira Arrashk."

"I thought you were Sekhmet?" Jacob asked condescendingly.

"I am both. If you want, you can call me Peaches and Herb, I don't care. Sekhmet is more what am I than who. I thought it might be easier for you to call me Moira. Most everyone here does."

Jacob considered the action for a moment, but finally held out his hand and shook hers.

"My goodness, you're warm," Moira exclaimed.

"It's a wolf thing," Jacob returned casually. "I guess I should say it's nice to meet you, but I think I'll hold off my opinion until I get to know you a little better."

"That's fair," Moira said. "How much do you know about our current state of affairs and what we are planning to do?"

Jacob shrugged. "Not much. I know we're going to fight the Volturi, and if that means killing any of those dumb fucks than you can count me and my pack in."

"And do you know all about Ren?" Moira continued.

Mathias muttered under his breath - pointlessly. "He knows all about her biblically given the grin."

Edward growled, and Bella gave him a reproachful stare.

"Excuse me?" I asked. "What business is that of yours?"

"None, of course."

I nodded. "That's right, so mind your manners, or I'll see what a few more chugs of your blood does for me."

Moira chuckled nervously. "Okay, kids, let's calm down before you make me upset, because I think we all know that's a very bad thing. Ren, you should show him."

"Show him?" I questioned.

"Yes, you know, whatever that thing you do is. Show Jacob what happened to us in Maine."

"I think she's talking about your mentography," Jacob added, pulling my hands up to his cheeks. "Let's do it. Any excuse to get your hands on me is fine."

Edward gave a nervous chortle. "Jacob! Please, she's still my daughter. Show a little respect to me."

"Ready?" I asked Jacob, looking deeply into his endlessly brown eyes. He nodded and perked his lips and blew me a kiss. "Don't distract me."

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

He smiled impishly. "No, I'm not."

Pulling at mental strings of consciousness, I relaxed the images over him in quick snippets, trying to edit Mathias out from my perspective as much as possible. I showed him our first visit to Moira's house, of her telling me that my blood was poison. I showed him her revealing to us with the mosaics in the background our sorted but connected past; the anucktumai, the vampires, and wolves, and the shape shifters all products of the same genetics-bending ancients. I showed him Mathias and I watching over the security monitors as the three Volturi guard were dissuaded from their duty by Moira's quick thinking and action. Finally, I replayed the gathering a few night before, with all the vampires and Sam's pack agreeing in unison to fight the Volturi in a preemptive strike.

Jacob's breath was accelerated at the massive data download. "Whoa. Miss a little, miss a lot, I guess."

"Mr. Black, I will not offer you false hope," Moira said. "This is no scrimmage. I cannot guarantee that all your pack, or any, will survive. I believe we hold the advantage, however,and I am confident in our combined abilities to win the day. Are you with us?"

"Hell ya!" Jacob exclaimed. "Whatever it takes to keep Renesmee safe."

A burgeoning of pride arose in my chest. Not even caring if Edward would have to bite off his fingernails or leave the room in exasperation, I pressed my lips to Jacob's and thrust my tongue into his mouth.

"I didn't need to see that," Mathias muttered and twisted away. Moira gave a curious disappointed glance to him, and ran with a sigh out the front door and into the night.

"What's up with her?" I questioned to no one in particular.

Edward shot a quick look at Mathias, before turning back to me and standing up.

"They're working out some issues. Now, as for you two, we have a plane to catch tomorrow morning, so you'd better get some sleep. It's going to be a long flight, and it probably won't be that comfortable either."

"Where are we flying to?" Jacob asked, pulling me into his chest.

Mathias and Bella answered at the same time.

"Italy." "Central Europe."

Mathias looked at Bella askew. "I thought the rendezvous point was our Tuscan villa?"

Bella said, "The location has been compromised. We had to change plans."

"Compromised?" I asked suspiciously. "How did they find…. Oh. Who?"

Edward answered mournfully. "Alistair."

I swallowed back a chocked tear. "And… is he…?"

Edward simply nodded. The news of our side's first casualty came down on me hard. Jacob instinctively attempted to hold me even closer.

"So, then, where is the new rendezvous point?" Jacob questioned.

"The last place they would ever expect Sekhmet to turn up," Edward answered. "Romania."

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," I muttered. Edward nodded. "I'm sure Vlad and Stefan will be all too eager to take their revenge at last to worry that the same person who led the attack against their coven will be the same leading what's left of it."

"So we hope," Bella agreed. "Now, it's late. Time for all humans, half-humans, and werewolves to get some shut eye."


	30. Ring Around the Rosie

_No man ever wetted clay and then left it, as if there would be bricks by chance and fortune. ~Plutarch_

{{{{{{{{{{{{Renesmee}}}}}}}}}}}}

Edward's frame blocked the bedroom entrance before I could successfully navigate the distance. He flashed his disapproval at me vehemently. Why, hadn't my mother been the one to declare it bed time? Did she think I'd let Jacob go, now that I'd finally had him?

"Jacob, we had an agreement."

Jacob shrugged his shoulders defensively. "Her idea, Eddie, not mine. And we didn't exactly get around to discussing the agreement, given the limited time frame. We were kind of busy, you know?"

"Agreement?" I asked perplexed. "What agreement?"

Edward shifted uncomfortably, his eyes desperately seeking out a focal point in order to avoid my gaze.

"It's okay Eddie, I'll tell her," Jacob offered, pulling me away to the other side of the foyer. Bella drew to Edward's side, kissing him gently, and reassuringly, curiously looking at him full of pride and compassion.

"Jacob, what agreement?" I asked again.

He brushed a wayward curl behind my ear. "We got a one-time pass."

"A onetime pass?" I repeated. "I don't understand. Why would they ….. Oh."

The truth of it became all too apparent. Across the room, Mathias tried to appear busily concerned with the making of his temporary bed, but I could see his pace slow slightly and his ear turn our direction.

I rounded on my father and engaged his attentions fully despite his best efforts. "You gave us a onetime pass, because you think Jacob might die in whatever it is that's coming."

The quick aversion of his glance again was all the confirmation I needed. The tears were streaming down my face before I even realized I was crying, and I threw myself into Jacob's embrace. He held me close, and covered the crown of my head in a flurry of kisses.

"Ren, don't cry baby. Everything's going to be just fine. Ain't been a vampire yet who could take me down."

"That's merely because you've never faced the Volturi in combat."

We all swung around to the front door, where Moira lingered ominously. Jacob shot daggers at her. In his efforts to assuage my fears, a foreboding ancient was not much help.

"They are ruthless, merciless, and wicked deadly." She continued, gracefully pacing through the room towards Mathias. "They attack without warning; They kill without giving a chance for clemency. All their court decorum and feigned civility evaporates once they take formation. You have never had a foe the likes of them."

She at last reached Mathias, who was standing stoically in the corner near his impromptu bedding. She reached her hand gracefully to his cheek and stroked it, her amber eyes twinkling in the occluded light. Mathias melted and tilted his head, resting his face gently into her palm. It looked… oddly intimate.

Moira snapped back to us. "Don't make her any promise you may not be able to uphold, Jacob. Instead, make haste to make haste. Let not the fear of our fate tear you asunder, or faith in gods long dead and buried preserve you." She turned back to Mathias, taking his hands in her own and raising them to her lips, kissing the backs of his knuckles very gently. "I'm sorry about the timing. This probably was not the best birthday I've ever given you."

Mathias bent forward and kissed her cheek tenderly. "It seems kind of meaningless in the grand scope of things. What happened, though? Why did you go flying out?"

"I don't _fly,_ " she insisted. He admonished her with a glare. " _That's_ not _really_ flying. It's floating, with style. No, it's just… an adjustment…to have such emotions and be so at mercy to them."

He kissed tenderly her other cheek, and the goddess almost seemed to blush. For a passing moment, I wondered at this display between mother and son. Something seemed off kilter. He looked at her… the way he used to look at me.

In characteristically Moira-Sekhmet fashion, she turned a switch again, and her visage transformed. She approached Jacob and I, her face stern and determined, every stride well measured and purposeful.

"I'm going to apologize to you in advance," she began, and then turned also to Bella and Edward, and then even to Mathias. "To all of you. These days will require me to become someone other than the woman you've known. No one fears Moira Arrashk; she is weak, emotional, and woefully fond of humans and, thus, easily manipulated. Sekhmet has no such flaws. After tonight, if I should seem cold, or cruel, or lacking of compassion, please understand it is the persona, not the person. The general must never be seen as weak. It is not my intent in the days going forward to cause you to find our kinship disingenuously forged in retrospect."

"Sorry, what?" Jacob muttered.

Mathias laughed, and added proudly. "She means, the bitch is back and she's not taking names, but don't take it personally."

"Another brilliant summation Matty," Moira said sarcastically. "Why did I even bother sending you to Bridgeport when you can spout such endearing prose?"

Across the darkness outside, the not too distant howl of a wolf penetrated the night. Jacob grumbled as he released me.

"Leah," he hissed through clenched teeth. He bent down and kissed me gently. "I'm sorry, she needs me. You get some sleep. I'll be back before the morning."

"You're leaving?" I asked in disbelief.

He smiled wistfully and brushed my lips again. "Only for a few hours. I need to run patrols so Seth and Leah can spend a little time with Sue, in case of… Well, just in case."

The wolves knew that they might not return from our endeavor. No wonder they had all cleared out. The pack was likely down at La Push, spending one last campfire-lit night with their loved ones. If Billy had still been alive, Jacob might have been with him too. Odd that he wouldn't want to spend time with his sister, Rachel, but perhaps he felt a sense of obligation to give Leah and Seth the opportunity to stay a bit with Sue. Leah had carried the pack for so long in his absence, Jacob owed her that. Rachel would also want to spend the night wrapped in her husband's arms, and Paul would want his wife.

I turned Jacob's hand upward and kissed the palm gently. Lest he forget the rapture I had experienced, I quickly ran images of our love making through his mind, weaving into it strings of overwhelming delight.

Edward nearly collapsed.

"Hurry back to me," I whispered.

He smiled wordlessly, before running out the door. In the sixth months we were separated, I had never felt the horrid pangs of his absence as acutely as I did at that moment. Bella, sensing my distress, crossed the room to me, and held me firmly in her embrace.

"Someday this will all seem a distant memory, and you'll never have to watch him leave again."

I quietly sniggered. "The distancing of our memories from ourselves is one blessing not bestowed on the immortal soul."

"I'm afraid I have to take my leave as well," Moira said, giving another curious kiss to Mathias, this time to the back of his hand. "I also need to see out some matters before we go."

Mathias looked at her pleadingly. "Let me come with you."

Moira denied him with a brisk shake of her head. "Even with only the Cullens and the few other vampires remaining, I cannot risk exposing you. I took a lesson from the other night. I will not put you in that danger again, and pressing issue await my undivided attention. You're safe here with Edward and Bella."

Mathias looked at her suggestively and leaned his forehead against hers. "You owe me. It's my birthday."

She smirked back at him. "And you shall receive whatever you wish for. But, sadly, not tonight."

He sighed and nodded. She left without another word. Mathias looked just as lonesome as me.

"The others left?" I asked, distracted from my staring mournfully at the door.

Bella nodded, returning to Edward's side. "They all went out to try and recruit whoever they could find. We're all meeting in Deva tomorrow night. Only Garrett and Eleazar stayed behind."

With the threat averted, Edward at last abandoned his post at the bedroom door. "If Moira is our general, then Garrett, Eleazar, and Jasper are our captains. Please, Renesmee, sleep. We have to be up and gone before dawn."

The idea of lying down and letting my body recover from the ecstasy that had enraptured it not too long ago without the giver of that ecstasy was painful. I felt uneasy going to my old, empty bedroom alone, already so full of memories of Jacob sleeping at my side there with me from old Forks days. The ghost of his memory would haunt me the moment I closed the door.

Edward had found another focal point on the floor to stare at. "If you want, you can sleep out here next to Mathias. If you think that will help you and if he doesn't mind, that is."

Both my and Mathias's heads snapped up.

"Edward!" Bella reprimanded.

He grinned and tapped two fingers to his head, as much as if to say, _the spy network picks up no possible encroachments across enemy lines_. "Mathias has… other ideas now. And Renesmee is lonesome, too. It will be a comfort for them both."

My father was really coming out of his comfort zone tonight.

"If she needs company, I'll stay with her," Bella offered, and turned toward me.

Edward spun her around and drove his amber gaze into hers with a desperation and abandon I had rarely seen in him. "No. I _need_ my wife tonight."

The intensity of the word _need_ as he said it was overpowering. He was talking about much more than her body; he needed her soul. With a shy nod, they said their goodnights and shut their door, leaving Mathias and I alone. We stared a few uncomfortable moments at each other, both of us wondering how the logistics should play out.

Finally, Mathias broke the silence.

"Oh, this is silly. Let's just lie down and try to sleep."

I gave a little nervous laugh. "You're right. Let's just… lay…lie…down."

He took off his jacket and set it on the floor before scooting his body until the pile of blankets he had arranged. When he was settled, he looked up to me and patted the spot next to him invitingly.

"All set," he smiled.

Tensely, I tried to recline my body in position next to his. He had the good grace to turn his back to mine, and keep a few inches so that we did not physically touch. I closed my eyes, trying to let the stress and fear melt, but only found myself becoming more fretful by the moment as I was consumed with the anxieties that Jacob's company had temporarily alleviated. I needed to sleep. If only I could find a way to dismiss my worries.

"Mathias?"

"Yes, Ren?"

"Um, how did we all get out of school?" That seemed a simple enough question. "Isn't it a little suspicious, all of us being absent for an extended period, especially since Sekhmet is a teacher."

" _Was_ a teacher," he corrected.

I rolled over on my side and propped myself on one elbow. He rolled over on his back to look at me likewise. "Was?"

"She resigned, and I withdrew," he explained. "She told them that she had an offer to take over a class at Oxford, but that she had to leave immediately."

"Oh," I sighed. "And why do they think the Cullens are out?"

He smiled sweetly, though his eyes were clearly belying his annoyance that my prattling was keeping him awake. "Your house is under quarantine. Nobody told you?"

I shook my head.

"Yeah, you're all apparently suffering from some rare and highly contagious viral infection. Something Carlisle picked up at the hospital. Explains why you're all so pale, too."

"Ah, well that works out well for everyone involved," I muttered, rolling back over and trying to go to sleep again _. It will also be easier to explain if any of us get killed in the war._ The thought was tormenting, and my anxiety levels began ramping up again.

Fifteen minutes passed, and I was still just as anxious. Sleeping was not going to be possible without help.

"Mathias," I said in moment of revelation. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled dreamily. Mathias never seemed unable to compartmentalize his anxieties, and I was envious of that.

"I can't seem to relax. Can you use your power to put me to sleep?"

His body stiffened awake, and he rolled over on his side, as did I. Our faces lingered in the dark mere inches apart.

"Ren!" he gasped. "I'm already racked with guilt about what I tried to do to you before with that cursed ability, and now you want me to date rape drug you?"

"I forgave you," I replied sincerely. "Mathias, I know I was partially to blame for all that. But, that's over now. Jacob and I are reunited, and I love him. But, I just can't settle down. Besides," I added, remembering my own careless actions, "It must take a lot of guts for you to lie down next to me when the last time we were this close and alone, I tried to kill you. I think we've both extended an olive branch here, don't you? You have to stop thinking of your ability as a bad thing. You just need to start learning to use it to benefit others instead of yourself all the time, like we do."

He looked at me curiously, and his eyes focused intensely into mine.

"Fine, try not to fight it then. It'll work better that way." His gaze became the only thing my eyes could interpret with any clarity, the rest my vision subsumed to the two blue discs before me. "Renesmee, relax. Ease your muscles. Calm your mind. Go to sleep."

Shivers of warmth overtook me at once, and my eyes fluttered closed. What Mathias could do wasn't so different from the Jasper effect, but it was less jarring to the body, more matriculated in the mind. I was asleep in moments. In my last seconds of consciousness, I swore I felt him brush a kiss against my cheek. But even as sleep crept in, I could tell, it wasn't like the kisses he used to give me when he was pursuing me. No, it was simply a flag of surrender.

{[[]]}

There were wolves this time: monstrous, ragged, rabid wolves. The cage was gone, and l almost laughed at the audacity of anyone thinking it would be able to hold me. But the vampires were still closing in, and this time I recognized two of them: Jane and Alec, focusing intently on the pulsations running through my neck. I instinctively backed up, but they and the others were closing in on me from all sides until a low growl echoed through the chamber. Jacob sprang from the shadow, pushing away as many as he could. They turned on him, and began ripping at his coat. I made ready my attack, but the moment I was set to pounce, I was flying out of danger's path. Beneath me, my place in the center of the mob was occupied by none other than Carlisle. I knew the fall was coming, but this time I didn't hit the floor. Carlisle caught me. The mob's advance stopped. Like Moses in the Red Sea, they parted and allowed Carlisle to carry me away in safety. He smiled at me lovingly, before putting me on my feet, and immediately bursting into flames.

{[[]]}

"Ren! Wake up, darling. It's only a dream."

Jacob had both his hands firmly on my shoulders. Had he shaken me awake? I sat bolt upright in the swath of blankets soaked through from the cold sweat that rolled off my skin. I couldn't catch my breath, and my pulse raced out of control. He pulled me close, and his heat instantly warmed me.

My eyes drew to Jacob's concerned gaze, and I forced myself to calm for his benefit.

"So, the nightmare never went away, huh?"

"It changed, but no," I replied softly. I looked down at the empty floor where he had been laying. "Where's Mathias?"

His face screwed up, obviously displeased with the fact that I'd curled up next to the gypsy in his absence. "Matt is up at the house with the pack. I made them let you sleep. I promised I would take you out hunting before it was time to go. Everyone else went further into the forest so you could stay close."

 _Because I can't cover the amount of ground they can in the same time._ Even though I was fully grown, they were still coddling me. But I was a woman now, wasn't I? Especially since Jacob and I had…

That's when it hit me: We were alone. The knowledge triggered my carnal impulses as I recognized the opportunity. I turned lustful eyes towards my beloved. He cut me off before I could even start to try to seduce him.

"Not that I wouldn't love that, Nessie, but no. We have to leave soon, and your family has the deer running half way to Canada right now. It'll be hard enough to get you something to drink as it is," Jacob lectured.

"What about you?" I asked with a suggestive tone in my voice.

He gave me a sly glance. "Esme raided the meat department at Costco. We're good."

He made to pick me up, but I tugged his hand back down and pulled him next to me on the floor.

"No." The demeanor took him by surprise. "I mean, what _about you_?"

Jacob's response was a display of both curiosity and disgust. "Are you serious?"

It was a fantasy that had sometimes danced in my brain on nights when I had gone too long without hunting back in Maine. To the rest of the family, the idea of drinking a werewolf was about as appealing as ingesting actual tofu. The smell threw them. But Jacob's scent to me was divine, and after our tryst earlier, it was damn near ambrosia.

"Nessie, I don't think…"

"Ren," I promptly corrected.

Jacob chuckled. "Ren, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm pretty tough, but that little mouth of yours is already so dangerous. I don't think we should…"

"You know, I've already drank Mathias's blood," I shot back. "Twice."

I wanted this, and not because I was thirsty. I wanted this because I could still feel the strength I pulled from Mathias' human blood I had had the day before, and it disgusted me. I wanted Jacob to consume me completely. I wanted to be fed from him, and have his life be the fuel for my life. I wasn't venomous, so as long as I was careful, there should be no issue to his safety. I needed this, and if manipulative jealousy was the way to get it, so be it.

It seemed to working. From his crooked expression, I could tell Jacob was contemplating the request. He eyed me suspiciously.

"Are you sure you won't kill me?" he asked.

I drew an x over my heart with my finger and smiled innocently.

"Okay, we'll try. But you got to bite somewhere where it won't show."

 _Victory!_

"I know just the right place..." I smiled coyly, as I pushed his frame towards the floor and laid him down under me.

Jacob preferred to go shirtless most of the time. As hot a body temperature as he had, clothing usually made him uncomfortable. He would walk around in a loin cloth if it was socially acceptable. Pants, however, he usually possessed. And pants, right now, were my obstacle. I pushed him gently back on the blankets, and began tugging at the elastic waist of the navy blue sweats.

His neck snapped up in surprise, making all his abdominal muscles tensed and defined. I shuttered in their beauty, but tried to stay focused on my goal.

I grinned innocently and traced my index finger over his hip bone. I swore his whole body jumped an inch off the floor. "There's a nice piece of hidden flesh right here, and the external iliac artery runs right underneath it, so the flow is strong."

"If you touch me like that again, my blood won't be anywhere near there."

I smiled, and just because I found teasing Jacob so irresistible, I leaned down over him, my body positioned right in between his legs, and licked across the bottom of his abdomen, leaving a glistening line of demarcation.

"I won't go south of Dixie. Now, just try to relax. This may sting."

I pulled his left leg up slightly to curve the flesh, and lowered my mouth. His eyes followed me with a mixture of excitement and horror. My teeth grazed his bronzed skin as I readied myself. Even before the puncture, the burning in my throat intensified. It drove me now without abandon, and I ripped into Jacob's pelvis with bloodlust barely distinguishable from the corporeal lust stirring within me. Jacob let out a little yelp, followed by a low moan. My arms slid under his back and thigh, and I pulled him further toward my mouth, wrapping my lips around the puncture mark and sucking aggressively.

And he tasted _good_.

I drew his blood into me like oxygen into my lungs. Immediately, I felt myself reacting to this new life source. The sense of power it gave me was dizzying. Far more than any animal or human blood that had ever crossed my lips. I ragingly drew more, and bit down again as the first puncture was already healing over. Jacob's staccato breaths drew my eyes up. It was then I noticed his paleness. A raspy, faint gurgle was issuing forth from his throat.

I pulled away from the buffet and threw myself to his side. "Jacob, dear? Jacob! Talk to me! Are you okay?"

His chest pulsed up and down, trying to drive the air in and out of lungs at record speed. My voice was fervent and demanding. At the sound of it, his eyes traced over to me, and he smiled. Then, laughed softly.

"That was… different."

I grinned and kissed him. I could see from the corner of my eye that the wound was healed over, and Jacob's color was already returning to normal.

"You're okay!" I squealed, and kissed him again.

"Okay? That was fucking awesome!" he gasped. "It's like having sex without the sex part. Wow, did you, um, get turned on by that too?"

"Kinda," I admitted. "I mean, I felt desire, but I also felt thirst. But then again, I guess it's just about the same. We'll have to try that again when we have more time."

"Oh crap!" he shouted as his attention turned towards his watch. "We were supposed to be back up at the house ten minutes ago. We better go. That Moira is a real bitch when it comes to schedules. Come on, Ren."

Jacob rose to his feet and stumbled.

"Easy there, Jake. You may heal quicker than the dickens, but you're still missing a pint or two," I warned, _or three or four._ I propped my arm around him and braced his body with mine. A human girl would have been crushed, but I could more than hold my own with him.

He turned slightly to the side and stroked my cheek. His face grew somber, as his lips lowered my very gently to my forehead.

"Stop. Look around a moment before we leave."

I returned a curious gaze to him.

"This was your first home," he said. "The last time you left, you didn't really get a chance to realize it."

"Realize what?"

He smiled crookedly. "This may be the last time you're ever going to be here."

He was right. Forks, Washington seemed as though it couldn't even exist compared to Romania and Volterra. This was where Forks and I parted ways.

At the door, I turned around and took in the empty foyer, the only evidence of life the pile of lonely blankets in the corner. A rush of memories overtook me, and I funneled them into Jacob's consciousness. I remembered Edward sitting at the piano in the corner, and Bella curled up on the chaise reading and rereading the same book over and over. I remembered the now missing bear skin rug, and Emmett chasing me in circles with it draped over his head. I remembered standing on a chair in the middle of my fourth year as Alice stuck pins in my yellow party dress, convinced that I should have a formal gown, because who knew, but I might need it someday. Jasper followed her around in circles, holding the pin cushion. I recalled Carlisle and Esme, walking up the porch hand in hand, and taking me from my parent's embrace to walk along the river with me and let me play in lapping water. I remembered standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, Rosalie working a lather of styling goo into hair before trying uselessly to straighten out my hair. My curly, curly hair.

Charlie's hair.

I remembered Charlie.

Jacob held me close as the vision faded.

"I miss him, too. Come on, we have to go."

"I know." I nodded and pulled myself closer to Jacob still. "Well, little cottage, I guess this is goodbye."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MOIRA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

"They're late."

Mathias restated the obvious as I sat on the hood of the Veyron, tapping my fingers impatiently. The rest of the party was assembled in front of Cullenwood, growing more anxious by the moment.

"See!" Rosalie added. "Even the human thinks it's been too long. Maybe something happened."

She made to turn to the woods and leave, but Edward held her back by the arm.

"She's fine. They just got a little… distracted. Don't worry, Bella, nothing too serious."

I tried to occupy the silence with plans of war, but I couldn't draw my attention from how Mathias sat next to me on the hood of the car, his hand so near to mine, and his index finger reaching just far enough to touch mine lightly. Of all the crazy I found myself embroiled in, _that_ was the craziest.

"They have sixty seconds or I'm dragging them here," I warned.

The Cullens all turned curious eyes to me.

"What, like a puppy?" Emmett laughed.

My baser nature kicked in again, the one that always wanted to present myself in a haze of shock and awe. The one that wanted everyone to understand that I was a goddess and would only accept surrender. I tugged at the atoms floating over the exterior of Emmett's body and willed him to me. His body swept along the distance and dangled a few inches off the ground in front of the car. Making a vampire scared was no easy task, but it was one I accelerated at.

I sharpened my glare and put fire in my words. "No, more like a momma lion who has spent the last three hours breaking about a hundred international treaties and bribing a whole bunch of humans with a whole bunch of dangerous and powerful connections to get us a ride to Romania, assuming we're there on time to catch the plane."

"Okay. Okay. I see what you mean. Can you put me down?"

I released him. Emmett landed gracefully on his two, huge feet, and ran to hide behind Rosalie. Just then, as I was about to launch in the direction of the cottage, the sound of footfalls running through the leaves met our ears. We all recognized the distinct running gait of the hybrid and the wolf. Ren and her Jacob emerged around the corner of the house a moment later.

"Sorry we're late," she apologized with a guilty smile. "We, um, well, had some hunting problems."

And then the smell hit me, and my stomach turned. Ren smelled like them. Too much like them. I didn't want to know why she drank from him, whether by choice or by loss of control. I guessed from the disappointed and knowing expression Edward wore that it was the former, but if he was angry at her he had the good sense to bite his tongue. This was not the time for petty family discussions about drinking werewolf blood, though I was looking forward to seeing the reaction hit her, probably about the time we were somewhere over the Canadian tundra. She had no idea.

Edward's head tilted in an expression of concern. "What do you mean?"

 _Damn. He hears everything_. He smirked at me in acknowledgement.

"Ren," I began, "Do you remember the high you got off of drinking human blood?"

Her lupine blood-stained eyes gazed at me tensely as she nodded. "Yeah, uh-huh?"

"Well, if human blood was marijuana, you just dropped acid my dear. Nature has a way of trying to balance out the predator-prey dynamic. If you had any idea what the hell that werewolf blood is about to do your system, you'd understand why nature made them smell like that to us as a deterrent. So, um, good luck with that."

"Whoa, whoa, Moira. Is she in danger?"

Bella's eyes glossed over in concern. I felt a ping of guilt at addressing the situation so casually.

"No, she'll be fine," I assured her, then mumbled silently, "eventually. Mathias, get in the car. We'll meet the rest of you down there?"

Carlisle nodded. "It should take us about twenty minutes, but we'll be there."

I gnashed my teeth, glancing at the time on the car's clock. Ren's distraction had pushed our window. I would do whatever it took to get us to Romania by night, but I only hope I didn't have to call in any more favors and possibly start an international conflict. I had already had to pay off too many government officials and less savory types as it was to arrange our ride.

The Bugatti purred down the driveway and out on to the backstreets of Forks through the gently falling drizzle of the early November morning. Mathias sat silently in thought, his expression uncharacteristically tense. I reached over and grabbed his hand.

"A penny for your thoughts, love?"

He shifted his weight and grumbled. "You don't want to know."

I smiled at him inquisitively, and heard his pulse react to the power of my dazzling gaze.

"Okay," he capitulated. "If you're trying to keep me safe, why aren't you leaving me behind? It doesn't make sense."

The boy thought too much for his own good. He always questioned my logic, and over the years as a consequence had come to predict me too well. This was not what I would have done a few weeks ago. If I had my better wits about me, he would be locked in the tower back in Lac du Brouillard, behind the massive titanium security doors, with a six month supply of boxshelf milk and spam. Now, though, I was being selfish. I needed him with me. I needed not just to believe that he was safe, but to know it.

"The closer you are too danger, the further you are from harm?" I quipped. He cringed at my cheesy movie reference. "Okay, fine. The truth is I can only convince myself you're safe by keeping you with me. I considered leaving you in the safe room, or even having you locked up in jail. Don't look at me that way, Matty, you know I could have it done with a phone call. But, in the end, I found I could trust no one with your safety, not even you."

Mathias wore confusion across his face, and the bitter, angry tone of his reply took me off guard. "So you're dragging me into battle to keep me from getting hurt? You'll excuse me for questioning you, oh, divine one, but how the hell does that work? Why don't we just pull over to side here and at least you can have yourself a pre-flight drink at the bar?"

The tires of the Veyron squealed as I ploughed down on the brake pedal and directed the car to the side of the road. I just sat for a moment staring blankly ahead as Mathias fluctuated emotionally between anger and fear.

"Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?" I lectured, keeping my gaze from his. If those blue eyes caught me now, I would be powerless – and it had nothing to do with his powers. "Don't assume just because I've been with you for so long that my thirst is not telling me to help myself to a gypsy and tonic. I know I'm about to expose you to a whole heap of danger that I've dedicated the last ten years of my life to keeping you from. But, guess what? You win. I admit defeat. It's just not what fate has planned for you, and I can't fight it anymore. My fate is with you. I have to know you're safe, and I have to know that if you're not that I'll be there to make you safe. I can trust no one else."

He kept his gaze fixed on me, and a sliver of understanding had found its way into his expression. I turned to him and leaned over the center console. As I put my icy hand to his cheek, his whole body shivered.

I pulled my face close to his, fighting every temptation to kiss him again.

 _Don't love him. People you love become a target. To love him is to kill him._

I leaned my forehead to his. "Don't you know that when I'm around you now, it's hard enough even to trust myself?"

Mathias licked his lips. "You love me, don't you? Tell me the truth. If I might die, let me have the truth."

His command no longer held any sway over me, but his heart had me at his mercy. My eyes closed momentarily to block the flood of emotions, but my lips belied my efforts.

"No. Yes. Not… Not the way you mean. It can never be that way between us." _They'll kill you if it is. They'll kill you first._ "I thought you were falling for Ren. I finally thought I could deny _this_ if you ended up with Ren."

"Don't you get it? I thought the same thing."

Love was the most delicious intoxication I had ever known, and I was in danger of becoming drunk. But we had a plane to catch.

"Mathias, stop."

"Moira, please."

I looked down at him curiously. "You know that's not who I am now."

"I'm sorry. You may be Sekhmet, but I fell in l..."

"Sekhmet is the one who's about to drag you along to a vampire war," I scoffed, cutting him off. "Moira would have left you in the tower."

Mathias turned tactics as I put the car back into gear. Sinking into his seat, he focused out the window and took on a whimsical tone. "You don't want me to die a virgin do you? I mean, if things go bad, we can always say we had Forks."

It was when he said thing like that that made me laugh so that I was reminded we'd never really had a true familial relationship. "Oh, please, you think I don't know about Katie McGainy?"

Bright red streaks ran through his face, and the embarrassment forced him to recoil. "You knew?"

I tapped the side of my head as I pushed the accelerator to account for lost time. "You forget how sensitive these ears are. From the sounds of it, she had a pretty good time."

"Well, it's pretty easy to pull off," he said shyly, writhing in his seat. "When you can command a girl to climax just by looking at her and telling her so, it's nearly impossible to send her away unsatisfied."

I gasped. "No way. You mean you can actually demand an orgasm from a girl and get it?" He nodded and turned away sheepishly. "Well, there's another motivation for some vampirette to snatch you up and change you. With a talent like that…"

"Like I can't deliver without mind control. Maybe someday you'll let me prove it."

I shot him a snide glare. "One other thing. You do realize there's one thing missing from your destiny paradigm, don't you?"

He smiled lovingly at me. "Not that it matters to me, but what's that?"

I pointed at my face. "I don't have your mother's eyes. They were jade before, and now they're golden, so either you overlook that, or your mother lied to you. Ah, we're here."

I veered the car left into the desolate drive of the Quileute airfield. The parking lot of the lightly used former navy substation lie empty in the predawn hours. In the distance where the facility gave way to the woods, the silhouettes of running vampires and teaming wolves materialized.

"There's no plane, Moira," Mathias grumbled. I looked at my watch, and opened the door. Far in the distance, I heard the distinct low rumble.

"From this point forward, it's Sekhmet. Two more minutes," I predicted, pointing to the west sky. "The wind is blowing a little harder than forecasted. They must have gotten more drag than I anticipated."

Mathias followed me from the Bugatti, and we walked out on the airstrip meeting everyone half way. I could see it four miles out, the moonlight glistening off the wings of the plane. The others could see it, too, and Rosalie looked at me curiously.

"Is that an AN-124?" she asked me. I nodded simply. "That's a military plane. Are we being escorted by the CIA or something?"

I laughed at her innocence to the ways of the world. "The AN-124 is only operated out of the former Soviet Block, Rose. I don't do work with the CIA. They're too clean. The Russians, however, well… they're more open to a hearing out a good offer."

"You have a Russian military transport plane landing in Northwestern Washington!" Jasper demanded. His voice was uncharacteristically stressed. Perhaps he was feeding off the anxiety of the others. "Are you insane?"

"Don't worry, everyone who could cause a problem has already been appeased," I assured them. "This isn't my first time throwing a tea party, Mr. Whitlock."

Cutting through the sea mist like a rattling ghost ship, the AN-124 touched down two minutes later. A contingent of stern youths issued forth from the belly of the beast through the open noise cone a few moments later, led by a forty-something, buzz-cut, classically rough Russian captain with the remnants of a half-smoked cigar pursed between his lips. Seeing their AK-74's in hand and at the ready, I pre-emotively stepped in front of Mathias.

The captain surveyed our group curiously, especially the wolves standing behind the vampires, and tried to figure out which of us was the leader. Russians always confused strength with power at first blush, and they addressed Emmett standing a few feet away from me.

"We are told to talk wid Jaguar," the captain declared in a thick Kurgan accent.

Emmett guessed as well that it was me, and pointedly innocently to suggest so. The captain glanced at me in entertained disbelief.

"You are Jaguar?" he asked incredulously. I gave an eccentric bow and dip of my figure. With the Russians, playing up all advantages of imagery was important. If they felt me eccentric, they would also expect me to be unpredictable, and less likely to try any moves that may force me to act uncontrollably. "Dis is nawt pozzible. Jaguar is woman? Jaguar- dee antiques dealer? But dee curator was ript in two pieces. How you do dis?"

I smiled. "Ah, I see my reputation precedes me. I never killed that curator. That was something your people did to draw suspicion to certain enemies."

He looked contemptuously at me. "You deny dee teft of 221 artifacts of my country's from dee Hermitage Museum? Interpol determined Jaguar waz dee culprit."

"Oh, I don't deny the theft at all, but I did give one back, so it's 220," I retorted. "But I did not kill anyone, that day at least. Now, Captain Kriventsova, we're on a tight schedule, and I'm sure you don't want to be here any longer than it takes to 'make repairs,'" I said, making finger quotes. "Shall we?"

I pointed back to the Veyron over in the parking lot. The captain eyed the bait tantalizingly.

"That is your down payment. Once you get to my party in Romania, then I'll release the transfer codes to you for the additional one million euro. In exchange, I want the tag id's and flight records for every one of your crew and regiment destroyed within twenty-four hours, and your agreement that this flight never happened. If it ever gets back to me that someone talks, even to his own wife or child, they will be dead within a day. Do we have an agreement?"

The captain sneered and curled his lips. "We take only peepool, we do not take dee dogs."

"Mathias, do your thing before I do mine."

I stepped aside and let him come forward. He stood a foot from the snarling face of the captain, his feet planted firmly, and stared deep into his eyes. I placed the car keys in Mathias's palm, and he in turn dangled the keys in front of our Russian friend.

"Captain Kriventsova, the wolves are with us. Go fetch your new car, and load it. Then, have your men escort each and every wolf on to the plane. Now, just for good measure, slap yourself."

Obligingly, the captain moved his gun to one hand and smacked himself in the face. I felt the curious, understanding gazes of our party fall upon me. I turned to them and explained.

"He does that sometimes, just to make sure the charms taken hold."

Captain Kriventsova grabbed the car key from Mathias's grasp before turning to yell commands in his native tongue at his men. The soldiers' faces screwed in confusion, but they were obedient and began herding, for lack of a better term, the pack on the plane. Renesmee walked next to her Jacob, and I eyed her clinically as she passed, trying to ascertain if the wolf blood had begun to affect her yet. For the moment, her heartbeat sounded steady. The car drove up to the loading dock of the transport plane, and was then loaded and secured down by the troopers. Eleazar and Garrett boarded next, followed by Rosalie, Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper. I turned to back to see what delayed the others, and witnessed a tense stare down.

Edward's eyes revealed confusion and heartbreak, and were fixed on Carlisle. Bella and Esme both clung to their mate's arms with supportive grasps, love beaming from their eyes.

"Why?" is all Edward was able to say.

Carlisle's dialogue must have been all internal, but his countenance shifted from compassion to guilt to resolve.

"But we are your coven," Edward argued in a voice wrapped in confusion and despair. "You're my father. You are my family."

"I will always love you as my son," Carlisle finally said aloud. "But, this is a battle you need to wage for your family for Bella and Renesmee. This is not my fight. Your brothers and sisters will stand with you, but it's time for you to assume your own place. It's time for you to be your own coven. You've…" He hesitated, and would have cried if it was possible. "You've outgrown me."

"Is there nothing we can do to change your mind?" Bella gasped, also clearly overwrought.

Esme shook her head sorrowfully. "The time has come. Carlisle and I need to find a purpose in this world beyond being perpetual parents. As he said, we will always love you as our children, but… we need to outgrow you, too."

"Edward, Bella, we need to go." I felt badly for interrupting their moment, but I had only been able to bribe a short window of black out on tracking the AN-124 from the USSTRATCOM. Our window was slipping away.

Carlisle pulled Edward and Bella into his embrace. He kissed Bella on the cheek, before turning away to hide his grief. Esme mirrored his actions. Then, Bella and Edward put their arms compassionately around each other and boarded the plane. I motioned for Mathias to join them, and approached the remaining vampires in private.

"You didn't have to take me so seriously," I said abashed. "I didn't mean that we didn't want you with us. I hope I'm not the cause of this decision."

Carlisle smiled warmly, despite all the emotional pain his eyes held.

"I think you and I are both in a place we never expected to be just a few weeks ago in regards to our children," he surmised. "What you said was true. My children need to outgrow me, and now I've given them that chance. And your son, he needed to needed to grow into you, if that makes sense. And now, we both get to see the fruition of our best intentions come to pass."

I returned his smile. "Thank you, Carlisle. You've been a great friend in the short time that I've known you. And from what I've seen, you've been an even better father."

I reached out to shake his hand, and instead I found myself wrapped in a double hug from both he and Esme.

"We hope you find your redemption," Esme whispered in my ear. "Please, protect my children. Protect them all."

"I will," I promised, closing my eyes and allowing the emotions of the moment to overtake me. The warmth of their care and compassion spread across my soul like a woolen blanket. I loved them like family. And I would fight for them like family. They were my coven.

Mathias watched from the loading dock of the plane. He reached his arm around me and kissed me gently on the temple as the nose of the airplane closed back down and sealed. I met Kriventsova's probing gaze just a few feet away, and gave the orders to him in clear Russian to take off. He cocked his head at me in the realization that anything he might discuss with him comrades would be only too easily understood by me.

As expected, only a few dozen permanently fixed flight chairs at the front of the plane, and several dozen more jump seats toward the rear were available. The wolves had curled up on the floor and lay mostly sleeping. Jacob, with Renesmee curled at his side and draping her body over his in an odd embrace, was looking askew at the Cullens. From the shock on their faces, I guessed that Edward and Bella had explained to them Carlisle and Esme's absence. It was not my loss to feel, and yet my heart ached for them. I slid down to the floor against the edge of the car and pulled Mathias next to me. He inherently felt my need to be comforted and wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head to his shoulder.

"But I'll make you so cold," I argued meekly.

His hand reached over and cupped my cheek. "You don't have to always be so solid, Moira. Soften yourself for me a little, let me comfort you for a change."

Several hours passed quietly, none of us talking. The occasional Russian soldier passed by wearing an absent expression, Somewhere in the third hour, I looked at Ren across the distance and noticed her shaking slightly. The blood was overtaking her, and a steady grin was beaming from her face.

" _Edward,"_ I called mentally. His head crooked in my direction. " _Look to_ _Ren. She's going to be more wasted than a wino for a few hours, so it's your choice. You can have Jasper sedate her, or you let her ride the wave and crash. Teach her a good lesson."_

"Is she going to be in any pain?" he asked aloud.

" _Isn't that sort of the point?"_ But then I shook my head and continued mentally, because I refused to distance myself one inch from Mathias at the moment. " _Hard to say for sure, but I don't think so… But, given who she's with…._ " And we both looked her, and saw her stroking Jacob's fur with a plotting grin, a twinkle in her eyes and a little too much pressure in her hands. We weren't alone, either, as mostly everyone, vampire and wolf alike, was staring at them. "… _she's likely to get a little frisky with him_."

Edward contemplated his daughter's actions before voicing surrender. "What the hell, let her," he said with renewed vigor, turning to Bella and kissing her on the forehead. "After all, you're only young once, right?"

The wave of laughter at the irony hit us all at once, and a great uproar attracted the attention of at least one of the Russians, who rushed over to see what the ruckus was. He gazed blankly at a teenage girl seemingly throwing herself at a wolf and cringed in disgust.

Even as a wolf, I could see the conflicted look in Jacob's eyes. He clearly didn't want to stop Ren, but he also would have preferred some privacy.

"Sorry, Jacob," Edward laughed, "I didn't exactly know. You guys experimented with something, and it looks like you're getting burned a bit by it…. No, I'm not going to stop her. It's between you and her. I thought that's what you told me? That you two were mature enough to make your own decisions. … What was I going to say? _Make sure whatever you kids do Ren doesn't drink your blood?_ I never would have considered that she'd actually do it. You must smell differently to her. It's not like any of us knew that this reaction would happen."

I couldn't contain myself. "I did."

Mathias looked up at me. This was one secret I had never shared with him. Then again, how many people discuss the history of their sex life without cause? I sat up and made ready my explanation. They were all burning with curiosity now.

"So I got attacked by a werewolf one time, and I killed it. I think it's important to distinguish: this was not a shape shifter. This was a viral wolf. So, I figured, if I was going to kill it anyway, why not just drink it. That turned out to be a bad decision."

Bella looked at me knowingly. "Aaannnd?" she asked, drawing the word out in suspense.

Even the memory made my breath catch as the venom in my veins sped up. "Well, let's just say that Sorin and I were responsible for destroying one of the oldest castle's in Romania, though it did take us a good three or four days to do it."

Emmett flashed a suggestive look at Rosalie. "What do you say, Rose? You can get a rundown castle real cheap these days."

But the expression on Mathias's face was one of hurt and jealousy. Had he really forgotten the fact that I once had a mate, and that I was blissfully happy with him?

"Hey," I called to him, picking up his dipped chin in my hand and turning his blue gaze at me. "That was a long time ago. Don't be like that, okay?"

I kissed his lips very gently, unable to deny the need to comfort him, and forgetting my own self-impossed restriction. Just as he moved to deepen the kiss, Ren's voice screeched across the cabin.

"What in the _hell_?"

I looked over to see Ren shooting daggers at me. She had stopped trying to seduce the wolf, and was on her feet in striking pose.

"You just tried to sleep with me a few days ago, and now you're after your own mother? What kind of sick horn dog are you?"

I pushed myself away from Mathias and starting walking slowly, waving my arms slowly to try and suggest calm.

"Ren, I'm a little surprised by the turn of events too, but you're basically drunk, so let's not say or do anything rash, okay?"

She stumbled a little as she took another step towards me, and her words were definitely slurred.

"I _feeeeeel_ fine! Better than fine. But that's so… wrong, isn't it? I mean, he's your son. And oh! He was just sticking his tongue down my throat last week."

Jacob growled defensively, though I couldn't tell if his warning was meant for me or Mathias.

"You just gave a blood job to a werewolf who you have about the same relationship with!" I exclaimed in return. I was trying not to get angry, trying not to lose control, but the Sekhmet and Moira natures were fighting for dominance again.

Ren held her arms out at full length and waved them over her head. "You two are nothing like us! He imprinted on me! And, I don't know, I guess I kind of printed right back, okay? Mathias is human, and you are some sick, half-bred remnant of a world that you've long outlived." She measured her words carefully through her drunken haze and suddenly blurted out, "You shouldn't even still be alive. And neither should he. He's nothing but food."

"Cat fight!" Emmett howled.

The smack and force of my slap sent Ren reeling back into the wolves. My hands flew up to my gaped mouth as I felt the disgust of my own actions. The Sekhmet/Moira balance was leaning dangerously toward Sekhmet, and Ren's face bore the welt as evidence. Waves of calm descended over me, and I turned to Jasper suspiciously.

"She's not herself, Moira, back down. I'll let the one slap go, because I think she might actually have deserved that one, but don't push your luck."

Mathias was on his feet and pulling me back fruitlessly. I took a deep breath and let go the tension in my shoulders. I yielded to his draw, and sat down on his lap as he again pulled my head to his shoulders and stroked my cheek lovingly.

"Don't take it out on her," he begged quietly. "This is weird for us, imagine what it must look like to her."

Mathias had misinterpreted the source of my anxiety. I wasn't mad at Ren. I was mad at myself. And I was mad at the truth that she laid so plainly, that had been staring at me around corners for far too long.

I was taking a vampire and wolf army half way across the globe to defeat a band of self-appointed royals under the argument that they could not be allowed to be the authority to decide what was wrong or right in our world, that they were not the arbiters of justice. The world had changed. The world had grown beyond them. Their time had passed.

The time of kings had passed.

And so had the times of the goddess.


	31. A Pocket Full of Posies

"And so it is, that both the Devil and the angelic Spirit present us with objects of desire to awaken our power of choice." - Rumi

{{Renesmee}}

The war seemed almost a guaranteed win for us. Moira could hit.

Hard.

As soon as I felt myself fall on top of the pack, I understood staying down was probably best. Not to mention, although I was certain that the plane was not spiraling out of control through the sky, it seemed to be turning circles around me nonetheless. The Russian passed another round, and the banging of his footfalls reverberated in my skull like a timpani. My eyes winced and I clutched my forehead. Jacob brought his snout over his front legs and licked my hand soothingly.

"I'm all right," I assured him quietly.

Even as a wolf, Jacob's brown-black eyes were movingly expressive. His emotions played out across them like a shadow puppet. He felt guilty, like somehow him giving into _my_ idea of letting me drink his blood was his fault.

"Don't' be silly," I told him in a slurred, yet musical voice, sounding like a trombone on a permanent slide. "It was my idea. Still, it was kind of fun, wasn't it? Do you want to see, Jacob? I can show you, you know?"

I wasn't going to let him answer. I put my hand to his paw, and covered the small exposed area of flesh. I eased my consciousness over him. The vision was blurry, like my own drunken thoughts, but accurate nonetheless. It was near impossible for a wolf to roll his eyes, but Jacob did. I hope it was from the recollection of lust that we felt at that moment I bit into his blood stream, though I was sure he was getting a little buzz off my intoxication as well.

Edward was… smiling at me? He could see the thoughts running through my head, of course, but the last thing I expected him to do was to revel in it. But Jacob was obviously enjoying the mentography I was providing him, given the panting. It emboldened me, and I shifted the scene again back to the forest and his loving arms holding me down to the ground as he explored my body. He had felt so good, so pure.

So _unlike_ my experience with Mathias.

The shift in imagery transpired before I could stop it: Mathias's naked body perched temptingly over me, and my pleading voice echoing in time...

 _Please, Mathias, make love to me._

My head hit the floor with a crashing thud as Jacob's form slipped away and charged the gypsy. At least half a dozen vampires jumped up at a moment's notice, attempting to restrain him, with the wolves close behind. Sekhmet had reacted even faster still, throwing her body over Mathias's and harboring him against the galley floor. Growls and snarls became tangled and confused. Lupine and marmoreal bodies twisted and bent around each other. Bella grasped me and pulled me back from the confusion. Edward was in the midst of the upheaval, seemingly both defending and accosting Jacob.

"What happened!" Bella demanded. "What did you show him!"

"Mathias…" I mumbled. Her disappointed stare told me she understood. "But, I didn't know… I couldn't stop…:"

Bella broke away and called across the width of the plane.

"Jasper, do something!"

"I can't! There's too many to get a fix."

"Emmett? Emmett!" she cried instead.

But Emmett was in the brawl, trying to pull Jacob away to safety.

"Jacob Black!" I shouted as loudly as I could. "Stop this second. I'm the who-"

All. Movement.

Stopped.

The Russian soldiers rushed into the cargo bay, guns pointed, eyes ablaze. Kriventsova approached last, a wide, steady, commanding gait pacing behind the gun line.

"Jaguar! Your volves need to be taught a lezzon?" he shouted.

We couldn't move, but Moira could, and all too suddenly I realized why. It was like the day in her bedroom when we tried to wake her from her self-induced trance, and she had halted our fighting by arresting all movement. Not even my vocal cords would obey, or my lungs. Without turning so much as a glance at us, she rounded on the captain, and charged him at an aggressive human pace. Two of the soldiers turned their guns to her, but she bypassed them, unthreatened.

"Stand down your men, captain!" she demanded. "Or for the love of heaven or hell, I will show you just how many of the stories about my lack of mercy are true."

Kriventsova had picked up on the fact that we all appeared to be frozen in time, so many of us in positions that disobeyed the laws of physics. His countenance grew panic stricken, and he began to soundlessly twitch his lips in an invocation of the saints.

"Your men!" Moira shouted again, this time drawing a pistol from her coat pocket and pointing it between his eyes too fast for the soldiers to take any countermeasures.

Kriventsova gulped down a chug of air. My own lungs began to ache for it.

" _Poniz'tye vashye oroozhiye_!" he shouted.

The men responded promptly, if not all too willingly. I felt the air around me begin to loosen, and the wolves and I gasped in several lung-filling drawls in quick succession, accounting for lost time.

"Mathias!" Moira called without moving the gun from Kriventsova's temple. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine, nothing but a little bump to the head."

He rolled over on his stomach and pulled himself to stand. Emmett and Edward still restrained Jacob, a low, fearsome growl emanating across the distance.

" _Da li krvariš_?" she asked.

"Ne, ne," Mathias returned in Serbian. "There's no blood."

She began lowering her gun and relaxing. Something of her composure must have devastated the last of Kriventsova's nerves, as he passed out the next moment. His soldiers rushed to him to assist, leaving Moira free to address us in vampire-rapid speech.

"Can anyone tell me what just happened?" she asked.

Edward, of course, had all the necessary perspectives. "Nessie accidently showed Jacob an intimate encounter between herself and Mathias. Jacob's jealousy got the better of him, I'm afraid. He's reining it in now," he explained. "Jacob, this is not the time or place."

My insides swirled. Now they all knew my shameless actions, laid out as clear as day. Worse, Jacob's pack actually _saw_ it. How could I have forgotten that everything that crossed Jacob's mind while a wolf was shared with Leah, Seth and the others. I didn't care so much on my behalf, but I could not compensate in any conceivable fashion what it may have done to Jacob to have everyone aware that I had cheated on him. It was unheard of, a vampire committing infidelity. It was so much a very human trait, one that I would gladly gouged out.

"Not the time or place is right," Moira repeated. "Mr. Black, I can no doubt understand how upset you would be to see that, but if you ever charge Mathias again, I will have you ripped into thirty pieces before you can even whimper."

She turned around and yelled something at the soldiers still trying to revive their captain. One near the rear yelled back a brief reply as Kriventsova sat up, muttering _something something glaza_ over and over. Moira ignored his prattle, and gave Jacob the sternest, most authoritative, if-you-know-what's-good-for-you-you'll-listen-to-me look I had ever seen.

"We have two more hours before we land," she added. "Let's see if we can't keep from killing each other, okay?"

It sounded more like a challenge than an off-handed statement. She took Mathias by the hand and led him to the front of the plane. After I sat back down, this time between Bella and Edward, I could see them clearly from my vantage point, almost as if Moira had purposely chosen a spot in my line of vision. She wanted me to see her. She wanted me to be certain that Mathias was hers now. I scoffed silently, because I understood better than she did: he had always been hers, even before Mathias realized it. Mathias was right, there was such a thing as fate. Her fate was him. Jacob was mine. Somehow, in the recent months everything had gotten messed up and confused.

"You assume too much," Edward said to me plainly. I looked at him questioningly. "She's not trying to mark her territory. I'm not really comfortable with – how is it you kids say it these days, P.D.A.'s? But I understand why she's doing it."

"She's horny?" I asked, and at once I felt my cheeks blush, and my head pound from the rush of human and werewolf blood and venom swirling in my temple. "Sorry, dad, I didn't mean to be so crass."

He chuckled softly. "Perhaps, but that's not _why_ she's doing it. You sort of shocked some truth into her with your little outburst, and it frightened her. She's not accustomed to being frightened of anything, and she's trying to distract herself."

I bit my lip at the recollection of the horrid things I had yelled at her. The rush of adrenaline for the near brawl must be burning away my high. I felt the fuzziness drifting away. The clarity, however, only brought on guilt.

"I feel like a schmuck," I admitted. Bella put her arms around me and pulled me close. I looked at Jacob sitting on the opposite side of the galley, wide awake but not able to look at me in the slightest. "And I feel like a Jezebel."

"Edward, are you comfortable about me talking to her about this?" Bella asked him.

He smiled at her tenderly. "All water under the bridge, love. You're wearing my ring, right?"

Bella nodded as she pulled my head to her shoulder and stroked my cheek with her icy fingers. "You know that before your father and I were married, Jacob was trying to win me over. What you don't know is that there were moments where I almost gave into him. I know that probably makes your insides ache a bit, to hear about Jacob and me, but that's not the point."

As she spoke, I realized that that her voice was louder than it needed to be, and that one of Jacob's wolf ears had rotated in our direction.

"The point I'm trying to make is, I loved Jacob, but I loved your father more," she continued. "There were moments of conflict and confusion. There was one moment I almost lost faith completely and threw myself at him."

I could see Edward's face cringe for the smallest of moments from the corner of my eye.

Bella continued. "In the end, though, Jacob and I grew much closer as friends and family than we ever could have as lovers. I had to go through that temptation stage to get through to the beautiful thing we have now. I think that's what happened here. "

And now I realized she wasn't looking towards me at all. She was looking straight at Jake.

"You found a wonderful friend in Mathias. You got a little confused, as teenage girls do, between being in love and feeling any love. With all the confusion of Jake being gone, moving to a new place, having to go to school with your parents looking constantly over your shoulder, he became your escape. What you fail to see in all this, Nessie, is how strong you actually are. You pulled through. You have Jake back, and just when you need him most." She called over to Jacob, even though she continued to talk of him in third person. "I'm sure Jacob will forgive you, just like Edward forgave me, because he loves who you are more than he hates what you did."

Jacob stirred at last and paced across the plane, meeting me eye to eye.

Edward smiled at no one in particular. "You tell her yourself later, but I think she's kind of expecting that," he said.

He lay in front of me, resting his head on my lap.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob," I said tenderly. "I can't undo it, but I am sorry. Please, though, don't blame Mathias. It was more me than him. I just want to put it behind us. I want you to know, I love you."

He gave one quick lick of my hand, and I knew all was forgiven. He had neither the will nor the ability to stay mad at me.

The plane touched down at last, and the nose cone pivoted open to a silent, cricket-filled Romania night.

"It's still nighttime?" I asked. My brain was still a little too sluggish to do the time zone mathematics.

"It's about four o'clock in the morning, the day after we left," Edward answered. "We flew against the sun."

Moira and Mathias had descended to the tarmac already. Moira pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Kriventsova, who took it from her like he was handing her a used Kleenex. I could see the headlights of cars moving toward us as we deplaned. At first I worried that some sort of authority was coming to intercept us. After all, a Russian military cargo plane landing in central Romania in an unscheduled flight in the middle of the night could not be so easily overlooked. But I was relieved when the five old, beaten Humvees pulled alongside the plane and the familiar faces of the Denali coven emerged from the driver's side doors.

Carmen ran to Eleazar, and Kate ran to Garrett, each of them embracing on contact. The rest of us made our way to the Humvees. They had been a good idea- the wolves were able to load and sit comfortably in the wide exteriors. Emmett sat behind the driver's wheel of the one I had chosen with Rose by his side. Edward, Bella, Jacob, Alice, Jasper, and Leah also joined us. It was a little crowded, but Emmett mentioned that the drive would only be about forty-five minutes. I looked outside, and saw Moira and Mathias load into the Humvee in front of us with several more wolves, Kate and Garrett.

"Do Vlad and Stefan know it's Sekhmet coming?" I asked whomever might be able to answer.

"No," Edward replied. Perhaps he had gleamed the information out of someone else's mind. "They know that we're going to war, and of course they're more than eager to join us, though for all the wrong reasons."

"Wrong reasons?" I asked doubtfully. "Is there a wrong reason for wanting to take down the Volturi?"

Edward turned his head over his shoulder to address me in very sincere tones. "If we are to have a war, then let that war be just, else in giving to it freely we become the very monsters we seek to defeat."

"Who said that?" It was so well rehearsed, I doubted that he had just composed it of his own accord.

"Your grandfather," he answered solemnly. I looked at him askew. "In 1917, when I told him I wanted to fight for the French, before the U.S. entered the conflict."

 _My real grandfather._ I couldn't tell if it was because of the intoxication, or just the realization, that my grandfather, of whom my father rarely spoke, had died all of a century before. I wondered if he would have considered our endeavors just.

"He would have." Edward answered my thoughts in his typical fashion. "I'm sure he would have found the exact circumstances beyond his ability to grasp, but he would have supported this. We are seeking to create a world where you will not be seen as a threat to be wiped out simply because of the way you were born. We are defending your right to exist. Not only would he had approved. He would be sitting next to you right now."

{Moira}

I could see the other five transports following closely behind us as the AN-124 body disappeared through the early morning mists around Deva airport. I cracked the window when we left the city, heading south towards the meridional Carpathian Mountains and the ruins of the Dracu coven's domus. I took in the air- it smelled different of course after so many centuries. But, still, it echoed of the past, of my memories of Sorin.

"So," Garrett said from behind me as I turned off the main road and onto the country drive that began to inch upwards towards the slopes, "this is the land of our eminent ancestor."

"Please tell me you're not talking about Vlad Tepesh," I scoffed. Garrett gave a wry, acknowledging smile. "Vlad Tempesh was not a vampire. He was a severely abused patriot who made very hasty, bad decisions but always did so thinking he was doing right for his countrymen. You have no idea the torment that boy suffered."

"And you do?" Kate asked leadingly.

"Yes," I answered simply. "I do. I saw it. Didn't you know that I served the Ottoman court for a time? I never talked with Vlad, or came more than a thirty yards from him, but I witnessed it all around him. They broke him- first his body, and then his spirit, all while treating his brother like a shiny new toy. And then they tried to use him and control him, and set up his brother as his adversary on the battlefield. It's no wonder he went insane. The people he should have trusted the most always betrayed him."

Up ahead on the right side of the road, I spotted the yellow pickup truck I had been told would rendezvous with us. I pulled to the side of the street behind them. The other four transports behind me did the same. I tried to recall whether this detail had passed through my mind during the flight. If so, Edward would at least know.

Edward's damned gift made him privy to everything. When the battle broke, I understood that I would need to ensure his protection the most. If Aro made way close enough to lay a hand on him, too many secrets would be lost.

Mathias placed his hand on my knee, and I snapped out of my reverie. I looked at him blankly, and he was somewhat taken aback. My poor Mathias. It must be so confusing to him, to have me clingy one moment, and so distant and cold the next. I couldn't help it. I had stuffed Moira in my back pocket again. We were on the eve of battle, and Sekhmet was fully in control. Only Sekhmet could keep him safe long enough for Moira to have something to love later.

"Wait here," I told him. He nodded acknowledging and withdrew his hand.

Garrett followed me out of the car, and I heard other doors behind us open and shut, though no others approached. They would hear the interaction just fine. Garrett was wise enough not to try and question me in front of the two bearded, middle aged men dressed in blue jeans and flak jackets that emerged from the pickup.

I addressed the older of the two, the best general approach in this patriarchic society. "Unde sunt lucrurile pe care ti le-am cerut? Sunt in camion?"

Edward's voice was immediately calling the distance softly from the car, providing a translation for whomever amongst us did not speak Romanian.

"Where are the things I asked for? Are they in the back of the truck?" he repeated in English.

The elder did not answer me, but tossed his chin backward and motioned with his arm to follow him. He drew back the tarp covering the bed to reveal three wooden crates marked covertly as "Domades." He offered me a crowbar to hitch the cover, but in my eagerness I flicked it open with two fingers pulling at the lip. If he thought it strange that I could do so, he made no implication. I opened the other two likewise. Everything I had asked for seemed to have been provided.

"Ati verificat daca GPS-ul functioneaza?" I asked him firmly. Dead GPS units would be of no use to me. Again, Edward translated, telling them I was asking if the GPS devices had been tested.

"Da, am verificat tot. Ramane cu banii nostri?" the elder replied.

Edward's voice echoed them. "Yes, we tried it all. What about our payment?"

All arms traffickers were the same. They allowed one question and one answer, and then wanted their money. I rushed the key from my pocket and tossed it in the man's hand. Even the gentle toss made the key hit his hand with such force, that he shook it after.

"Aceasta cheie deschide caseta de valori cu numarul 3455 din ramura central a Bancii -te ca Moira Kent. Veti gasi acolo o harta care va va duce la ei," I instructed them, and then flashed my eyes back forty feet to Edward and focused my thoughts in English for his sole benefit. " _Don't you dare tell anyone that. I probably just started another war by giving them the key and directions to my safety deposit box in London, so keep your trap shut."_

There would be no harm in the vampires or wolves knowing that I had just revealed the location of one of the greatest archaeological treasures in the age of modern man to a bunch of international arms and drugs smugglers, but I did not want to be associated with the aftermath that knowledge would surely cause. I did not want the blame. I was doing what was necessary to protect the coven we were forming. They should not, however, have to bare my burdens as a consequence.

He acquiesced to my request and said nothing further. Garrett and I removed the boxes from the back of the pickup and loaded them atop the Humvee. We were off again just a few moments later.

"What's in the boxes?" Kate briskly asked.

"Cautionary measures," I told her stoically. "I like to make contingency plans."

From my tone, she gathered that I wasn't about to offer much more, and stayed quiet. The road diminished from choppy pavement, to intermittent gravel, to pure semi-frozen mud. After four more minutes, I saw the Roman mile marker, the four foot high stone miliarium showing the path of the few remaining cobbled shambles of the road that once wound up the mountain to Domus Gelum. I turned slowly before punching the gas. The engine of the Humvee groaned but obeyed, and we twisted and turned through the dark of the forests on the edge of the Carpathian Mountains. A few flickering lights on the hills above glimmered. Apparently, they still hadn't gotten electricity up here; the light was no doubt from candles.

I heard a chattering, and looked over to see Mathias trying to hide the fact that he was shivering. Guilt wrinkled my soul again. Of course we wouldn't notice the frigid air. The wolves and Ren were basically walking pot belly stoves. Mathias, however, was undeniably human.

Garrett took off his leather jacket, used of course for appearances only, and handed it over the back seat. "Your kid going to be okay?"

I shot him a dirty look. "He's hardly more a kid to me than you are, Yankee," I said, reminding him of my seniority. "He's survived much worse than this before. But for the love of Ishtar, why doesn't this car have a heater?"

"The Russian called you the Jaguar," Garret continued, unabated. "Black markets fencing, huh?"

"Let's call a spade a spade, Garrett. I'm a tomb raider and thief," I confirmed. "We all need to make a living somehow, you know. Moira was a nice little cover, but nothing more than a mask. You may be surprised to learn high school history teachers aren't exactly rolling in the dough."

Mathias flashed me a disappointed look. I made no apology. Hadn't I warned him once we got to Romania I was going full Sekhmet?

"Jaguar?" he repeated. "Maybe you should have called yourself cougar instead."

Mathias swung around and gave Garrett a stare down.

"Mr. Abrahms, if you insinuate one more thing in order to insult the woman I love, you and I are going to have words, vampire or no," he warned sternly.

Garrett laughed, not necessarily at Mathias's futile threats, but in a nervous, _please calm yourself, I was only joking way._ But Kate was intrigued at his gull.

"What do you think you would do, blood bank?" she asked tauntingly.

I flashed him a look, too, as if to say _Really, I'm touched at your defiance, but shut the hell up._

Mathias pointed at Sam, Quil and Embry in the back of the car.

"Just because I can't control you doesn't mean I can't influence them. They already have an inkling to do it anyways," Mathias threatened. "Killing you is their instinct. All it would take from me is a few select words to drive that instinct into full-fledged obligation."

Holy, Holy, Holy. How had that ever passed my attention? We had never tried that out, but if his power had some bearing on Ren, it only followed that the wolves would be equally influenced.

My little gypsy figured that out all on his own. I felt a surge of pride rising in my heart, and like all my warm, fuzzy emotions about Mathias as of late, letting them endure for more than a few moments would lead to them matriculating into something with which I still wasn't entirely comfortable. Moira was this boy's guardian, a benefactor and a mentor. Not quite a parent, though we'd played up that cover when he'd been younger and the assumed age difference between us made it seem possible. Sekhmet, however, had always wanted this, I began to realize. At first, she'd wanted his blood. Then she'd rationalized that she was keeping Mathias hidden from the Volturi because she craved his power. In recent years, as he matured into a man, she'd come to see him as a potential equal. The need to protect fought the want to procure, and I felt my two halves fracture in my head.

 _Damn it. When then, Sekhmet? Focus on something. Focus. There's the domus. Yes, the domus that you destroyed the better part of 15 centuries ago. Look, they did rebuild the two stories over the portico, and the entry courtyard. Don't look at Mathias. Don't look at his hand lying there just a few inches away from you on the seat. Look at the windows. Oh, those are rather modern. Mid-nineteenth century, at least._

 _Look at all those red eyes staring out at us, Moira. How many are here? Seems like we got a pretty good turnout._

 _Oh, my goodness, Sekhmet, they're going to kill Mathias. This was stupid. You should have left him in the panic room in Maine. Why the hell did you drag him into this? Hasn't he suffered enough following al your illicit activities for years? It's amazing you kept him out of the Interpol files as it is._

 _Yes, but nothing compared to how you'd like to expose him now. Exposure equals naked, Moira. Look at him. He's an eighteen year old human who lusts you. Human equals Hot, Moira. You could pull over the car right now and have both of you five miles into the forest and stripped in ten seconds. He wouldn't fight you. No matter his other feelings, you've felt his years on you for years._

 _Not the time. Not the time, Sekhmet._

 _When?_

 _Soon. Never. I'm not sure. Just not now._

I pulled the car in front of the domus and shut down the engine as the other transports behind us did the same. Mathias didn't need my warning, he understood to stay in the car. As I walked around the front of the car, I heard the power locks engage. I turned to Mathias and looked at him through the windows with giddy curiosity. I heard his voice come clearly through the thin window panes.

"Every bit helps. Come get me as soon as you can, okay? You're the reason I'm here, after all."

I almost felt my heart flutter. It was ridiculous that after all the centuries, the tiniest little gestures could affect me so. The Cullens were already gathered around Vlad and Stefan who had come out to offer the closest thing to a welcome as I'd expected. They were closely inspecting Ren, Vlad even stroking her cheek and cooing at her.

"So big, so beautiful," he was telling her. It was obvious even at my distance that Ren found his touch repulsive. Jacob began growling lowly at him, and Vlad wisely pulled back.

Their attention on Ren allowed me to walk up to the back of their contingent behind Emmett without drawing attention.

 _Well, here goes nothing._

"Hello, gentlemen."

They nearly leapt back in recognition. Their hisses were to be expected, but I had not expected the fear to hold over for so long.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Stefan demanded. "Come to finish off what you started with the Volturi so long ago?"

"I will not apologize for what I did. The Dracu, after all, destroyed my family. But, I will note, you two survived. The fact was not folly. I gave the order not to destroy you. You have no idea how difficult it was to convince Caius that you should be left to live. But, I explained to them that I would take the life of anyone who touched you. You owe me your very existence."

This was news to them. Had they actually thought that I and the six Volturi had let them go by chance?

"Why would you have done that?" Vlad asked.

"Stefan was Sorin's maker," I answered. "I could never take the life of the vampire who created my mate. Nor could I take his mate's life."

I let the sincerity wash over them for a spell, before speaking again.

"But these are different times, and this is a different struggle," I addressed them. "The Volturi have grown far too imperial. Our world can tolerate such tyranny no more. I know my hand in allowing that cancer to grow, but I want to account for my sins. I come to you this time not as your adversary, but as your sister-in-arms. We three are ancients; we know how a delicate shift in the sands reshapes the landscape completely. Will you join us?"

Stefan looked at me abhorrently. "We are on the side that is against them, despite that it's the same as you."

"Of course," I said, nodding, and offering out my arms. Vlad and Stefan hesitated, but condescended to the truce, and took each one arm to shake. I smiled despite myself.

"What is this delicate thing?"

The voice was coming from right outside the farthest transport. I turned around to see a tall, olive-skinned, red-eyed vampire running her fingers over the glass of the Humvee's passenger side window. Mathias tried to look nonchalant, but even at this distance I could see the blood drain from his face.

"He's mine!" I moved the atoms around me almost instinctively to find my body pressed against the side of the glass, forcing a barrier between the Arab vampire and myself. "Anyone who touches him won't live to beg for mercy."

I didn't move my head, but heard the rushes of air on either side of me.

"He's part of our coven, Kebi," I heard Bella say.

"A human?" she laughed. "Well, well, we are out to change the world, aren't we?"

"Yes," Edward's overly confident smooth silk voice answered. "That's precisely what we're after."

Kebi nodded and backed away. I turned around and looked at Mathias through the glass. He gave me a weak smile, and I tried to return one in kind.

 _This is stupid, selfish, foolish, idiotic, moronic… but mostly selfish._

"Yes, it is," Edward agreed with my thoughts. I looked at him reproachfully, but he didn't back down. "I'm not questioning your reasons, but I would have never brought human Bella into a den of lions like this. He's not safe here. No one knows too much about him yet. Wait till morning when the others won't be as willing to leave the cover of the trees, take him into the town and leave him there."

Bella continued his string of thoughts. "I know it will break your heart, but you can't be both Moira and Sekhmet at the same time and keep him safe."

I flashed her a look that revealed a little too much my shock at her understanding. Then, I remembered her husband. He had probably heard my thoughts in the car. But, how did he understand?

"After we met in September, I decided to start studying proto-Sumerian," he chuckled. "Just to be careful. Just in case you're wondering, I've also been studied Old, Middle and New Kingdom Egyptian, and Akkadian, so you're pretty much an open book to me now."

Just to spite him, I turned my thoughts to Etruscan.

"Damn, Sekhmet how many languages do you know?" he groaned.

My smile quickly faded when I saw Mathias's face arch into a confused glance. No matter what happened to me from this point forward, those blue eyes would be my greatest memory. Moira wanted to kiss those eyelids, to kiss those lips, to hold him close. Sekhmet was slapping Moira, and telling her to look around and see the dozens of vampires emerging from all corners of the domus and the nearby forest to see a glimpse of the legend that was the Goddess. What would they think if they saw the great Sekhmet, her hands pushed against a glass, practically salivating over a human?

"You're right," I admitted to them, moving my lips too fast and too quietly for Mathias's lip reading skills to decipher. "I'll wait for dawn, and I'll take him to the humans. Hiding in plain sight is safer for him."

But for now, he couldn't just sit in the car, I opened the door and motioned him forward. I leaned in close and whispered in his ear, hoping that the others could not hear me.

"Pretend like you are scared of me."

"Not so hard," he answered, taking the opportunity to brush his lips against my ear as he spoke. "I kinda am."

"Vlad," I called behind me. The rice paper-skinned vampire turned. "This human is a project of mine. It is critical to me that he is kept untapped. I will remove him in the morning and make other arrangements. Is there a place I can keep him for now?"

Vlad sneered, reluctant to do anything that would assist me. "There is the tullianum. It hasn't been used in years, but as you destroyed the carcer that once stood over it, you probably remember that."

I nodded and led Mathias by the hand into the domus, the fortress now just a small remnant of its once splendid magnificence. All eyes followed us through the doors, only to find more awaiting us in the inner courtyard. I used my sense of smell to guide me: a tullianum was little more than a hole in the ground that had been fortified with a stone interior. It was a precursor to the torture chambers and jail cells of more modern times. The scent of stale air led me to a door, which I opened to find myself back outside again. A few feet beyond the door was an oval hole in the ground, covered over with a metal grate.

I lifted the gate and looked Mathias. This time, he didn't even try to hide his fear.

"Just for a few hours," I promised, and as we had actually found a place where we were free from the peering eyes of others, I allowed myself to soften my gaze. "You were right, bringing you here was so foolish. I can't believe I rationalized that this was the better decision. I'm truly sorry."

He responded immediately to the quietness of my demeanor, and took me into his arms, holding me as close as his human strength would let him, but wisely said nothing to counter my statement. This he did because it was true, and we both knew it.

"How did we get here, Mathias?"

He pulled back and looked at me deeply and sincerely, trying to understand if my question was rhetorical or not.

"Did you ever wonder if it had been better if I just killed you that day by the river?" I asked. "At least that would have been quick. You never would have known it was coming. Now, I feel like I'm holding the fox in hand, and the dogs are nipping at the bit to get through with it."

"You're leaving me behind, aren't you?"

His tone was matter-of-fact, but it still hit me like an accusation.

"I don't feel I've ever done right by you," I admitted, trying to keep myself from holding him any closer, an action that would at least break a few ribs if it didn't kill him completely. All the guilt, all the anguish I had felt over the years, all the questioning and re-questioning of my decisions were gathering in on me. It all started pouring out without restring. "After such a long life, you'd think I'd have gained some wisdom by now," I said breaking away from him and beginning my nervous pace, a very human quality I still could not shake after all these years. "You smelled so good that day in the woods, all those years ago. I wasn't even going to hunt that day. I didn't need to hunt. But your blood sang to me. I couldn't deny the pull. When I saw you were but a child, and how your power overthrew even my instincts, I took you for my pet. I didn't want _them_ to know about you."

"Yes, and that was a very magnanimous act," Mathias interjected.

I scoffed. "It wasn't magnanimous at all. I took you because I wanted your power. I wanted to keep you squirreled away for myself. See what I mean, the wrong decision. I should have just arranged to have you adopted or put in a good boarding school. Then, the summer you were 13, and I got the tip of the Chachapoya sites in the Amazon, I should have left you at summer camp instead of dragging you through the rain forest with me. If I had, you never would have been attacked by that jaguar, and you might not have ever learned that I was a vampire. If that wall had never come down, I never would have revealed all my secrets to you. I have spent the last ten years waking up and telling myself this is the last day I do this, that tomorrow I'll send you off and be done with you. And now, when you need protection the most, I can't bring myself to let you go. It would hurt me too much. I've become so selfish, and it may end up killing you. It will kill you, because loving you is what I've decided to do, which means by default that it must be wrong."

Mathias charged me, as well as he could, but I allowed myself to be charged. He backed me against the exterior wall of the domus and braced my body with an arm pinned to each side of my shoulders.

"Let me tell _you_ something, Moira," he said. "I have known my destiny was with you since the moment I saw you, whether it was to cost me my life or not. But I never thought it was in this way." He laid one hand over my dead heart for a moment to illustrate his point, before hoisting it back. "We got here because we were meant to be here, just like this, at this moment. Stop trying to fight it so hard, and stop trying to make excuses. My power has always been yours to do with what you please, and so has my blood. It's been like that from the moment we met. I've fought it for years, but I understand now: I've always been meant to be part of your world. When Ren showed up, I thought she was the one, she was the path I'd been waiting to emerge. But _you_ are my path, and we've already walked too far down it to turn back now. Where it leads – well, that's your fate to decide. Let's just say it out loud, Moira. There's going to be a moment where you have to decide, and I think we both understand with what's about to happen that moment is coming. I want you know, I'm ready for it. You make whatever choice you think is right, but you better be ready to choose, because the woman I love is a goddess, and the last decision she should ever doubt is her own."

"I could not bear to kill you," I admitted painfully. "Nor could I bring myself to turn you."

"One or the other," he said slowly, bringing his body close to me, pressing my unyielding frame into the stones. "I just ask, choose quickly when the moment comes. Don't leave me hanging between the two. Either flush me in a single moment from your existence, or seal my soul to yours eternally. I cannot stand to dwell in purgatory much longer. Now kiss me, and put me down in that hole, and go do whatever it is that Sekhmet does to make kings fall to their knees. I'll be waiting right here."

I did not debate him. I gave my lips to him fully, passionately. It should have hurt him the way I was pulling him close, but the leather jacket Garret had given him was acting like light body armor. Still, when I felt his hot tears hit my face, it distracted me enough to allow me to slip away from him. His lips hit the cold stone, before he turned around as saw me holding open the metal grate.

He breathing was hot and labored, and turned to mist the moment it hit the icy Romanian air.

"Down you go," I smiled. "I'll come back in a few hours and take you to the village in the valley."

"No, you won't," he smiled crookedly. "That's what you're trying to convince yourself you'll do, but we both know you won't."

He approached the porthole and looked at me questioningly.

"I'll lower you down," I said in answer to his unasked question. "It looks deep, but it's only about ten feet. Just, take a leap of faith, literally. Fall, I'll _catch_ you."

Mathias drew up to the very edge of the opening and looked hesitant. Another reassuring glance from me, though propelled him forward, and he stepped over the edge. He sank very slowly as I buffered his fall with my mind. After ten seconds and only two feet, he looked at me teasingly.

"You can go a little faster than this, Moira," he stated like offering me a dare.

"Fine," I curtly replied and removed all my restraint from around him. He fell quickly the remaining distance was a mighty thud.

"Ow! You're an extremist, you know that?"

"Are you okay?" I laughed lightly, and then saw another unknown vampire come peering around the far edge of the domus. I immediately reigned in my smile and emotions and slammed the grate down protectively. I looked the other vampire straight in the eye and pointed to the tullianum. "Mine," I declared, feeling the impulse to crouch into a defensive pose. The other vampire was wise enough to back down, and disappeared from sight. I called more quietly to Mathias who had still not given me an answer. "Seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he returned. "A little hungry, though."

I laughed. "Me too."

He paused. "Funny."

"Moira!"

Alice dashed around the corner at full speed. I had never noticed how fast the little sprite could move, nearly as fast as her brother. Her face was drawn in panic.

"Wolves!" she shouted. "Werewolves!"

I groaned that I was going to have to put down another pack brawl for the second time in as so many hours.

"Can't they all just get along?" I said helplessly and annoyed, but Alice's countenance did not soften.

"Not them!" she shouted, before turning around and beginning to run back. I heard her voice fade as she rounded the corner. "They're not our wolves!"

{Renesmee}

"I thought all the viral wolves were dead!" I shouted at Edward, who was leading me into the domus, trying to find anywhere to hide me.

"Almost all dead," he answered hurriedly as he face scanned the interior. "Apparently, some survived."

"We should take her to the highest point," came Jacob's voice from over my shoulder. I didn't know when he had phased back, or where he had found the blue jeans and flannel shirt he was wearing, but I didn't care. My heart skipped three beats at seeing his face again. "It will be the easiest defended."

"I agree, Jake, but you're her best offense. Go to the pack, they'll need you more. I'll stay with her and protect her," Edward told him as I found myself being ushered on either side up a decrepit set of stone stairs by the two of them.

"No way, they'll be better off having you to read the other pack's minds," Jake argued. "If something goes wrong, I can take her and run. It there's anyone who can outsmart another wolf, it's me."

We emerged after two flights on the roof of the domus. I rushed to the side where a shelter wall some three feet high stopped me, and looked down below to the rush of vampires forming ranks. Our two wolf packs were standing between the line of parked Humvees, and the gathering ranks of vampires, waiting in anticipation of the animals I could hear just another mile and half off. Their approach was somewhat hindered by the steepness of the landscape on their particular approach. If it hadn't been so, Edward might not have picked up on their thoughts quickly enough to give us a heads up.

I saw below Alice come charging back to the crowd. She took her place at Jasper's side, holding his hand, crouched in a defensive stance.

"Maybe we should charge them first, instead of just waiting here?" Garrett questioned.

"No, we wait for them to come to us, let them tire themselves climbing the hill."

The voice belonged to Moira, and as she emerged through the crowd, she directed her attention to my eyes. She seemed pleased to find me above, and nodded approvingly at Edward and Jacob standing next to me.

"You stay put," she said to me, as if Jacob would allow me to move, even if I wanted to.

Moira hopped up atop her Humvee and ripped open one of the boxes marked "Domades." I doubted she actually had any tomatoes inside.

"Jasper! Bella!" she yelled, throwing each of them something long, shiny and black. As my mother caught the offering, I saw it clearly. It looked like a machine gun.

"You think a few shots are going to hold back a wolf?" Jacob shouted down at her, clearly defending his own kind, even if those in question were our adversaries.

She smirked back up at him. "These don't shoot bullets."

Edward gasped. "Now that's a smart strategy."

"Emmett!" Sekhmet shouted, taking another gun from the crate and tossing it his direction. "Aim for the upper back, right between the shoulder blades. That should be the hardest for them to avoid doing away with."

"Since when do vampires use guns?" Emmett asked, clearly insulted at the implication that he couldn't handle a few overgrown dogs.

"Emmett, what's the one universal truth that we learn from studying the past?"

The history teacher made a cameo, and Emmett looked at her askew. "Don't trust the Germans?"

She rolled her eyes in disgust. "No, _Emmett,_ it teaches us: adapt or perish. This is my adaptation. Sam, Leah, hold back your packs until they break our ranks. Most importantly for you all, no one kill the alpha."

"But if we kill the alpha, won't that disorganize them?" Jasper asked, not understanding her logic.

Moira pulled another of the boxes open and pulled out a much smaller gun, not larger than a hand pistol, but with its barrel long and thin.

Edward grinned. "God, she's a genius."

"Yes, Jasper, it would," Moira returned as she loaded something into her gun, "but then I would have no idea where they're nesting. I doubt it's close by. Bella, Jasper, take position on the transports. Emmett, if you wouldn't mind joining me down front. Edward, can you hear them yet?"

My father looked off into the distance. I could not see them proper, but the path they were running shook the trees as they passed. Even I could see the trembling leaves from this distance.

"Jake, do we agree? If they should make their way up here, you take her and run," Edward said as he peered over the edge.

"She is my life, Edward," Jacob returned, looking at me with a reverence that made me weak in the knees. "I will protect her or die trying."

Edward gave us one of his characteristic crooked smiles. "Yea, well, try to make it the first one, okay?"

My father mouthed 'I love you' to me before jumping off the side of the building and landing amongst the crowd between Alice and Rosalie.

"Bella, you don't know how to shoot," Edward said more as an accusation than a statement of fact.

Bella chuckled and turned the gun on him. "Like hell I don't!" she exclaimed before pulling the trigger.

I cringed, waiting for the echo of the shot, but all that met my ears was the huff of decompressing air, like the brakes of a big rig or bus when they pulled to a stop. I looked at my father, and saw his hand stretched out in front of him, covered in bright pink liquid. If he had not blocked the projectile, it would have hit him straight between the eyes.

"Paint balls?" I asked incredulously. I still wasn't understanding the intention.

"Freaking genius," Jacob muttered just as awe-stricken as my father. I turned my curious gaze to him, begging him with my eyes to inform me of what seemed so clear to everyone else. "She's going to mark the other wolves so when the vampires attack we know who is who. She doesn't want to take a chance that the wrong wolves get killed."

"What the hell, Bella?" Edward called as he wiped his hand on his jacket, leaving bright pink streaks in the wake. "Moira, how did you know my wife could handle a gun?"

The ancient scoffed. "She's the daughter of a cop, isn't she? Have you ever met a cop who didn't make sure their kid could at least get off a few rounds?"

Edward looked at Bella in awe. "God, I love you, woman."

"Right back at you, sir," Bella teased, repositioning the gun site in front of her.

Moira turned back to the vampire ranks behind the Humvees. "This is a skirmish attack, everyone. This is not the war. They are being sent against us to evaluate our strength and try to weaken us a bit, if they can. It is not their mission to defeat us, but that does not mean that they won't try to take a few of us out in the process. The gunmen will mark the enemy wolves. Do not attack a wolf unless he is marked. Touching a Quileute wolf will be considered treason in my eyes, and I deal with traitors swiftly and mercilessly. Most importantly, their Alpha is mine. No one touch him."

One Asian vampire ventured his question from the rear ranks.

"How do we know which one is the Alpha?"

"He'll be the one who's only concerned with trying to kill me," she answered stoically.

I shuttered at the thought, but Moira seemed brave, unfazed. I looked through the crowd and noticed that Mathias was missing. I began to panic, thinking someone had made off with him for a snack. My father turned his eyes towards mine and spoke lowly.

"No, he's fine and he's safe enough."

I let out a sigh of relief, and I swore for a moment that Jacob was going to break his teeth as hard as he was clenching them.

"Why do you care?" Jacob whispered in my ears with a touch of anger.

I searched for a palatable answer. "I think he's Moira's mate now," I surmised slyly. "If something happens to him, there's no telling what she'll do. I don't know if you noticed, but she has anger issues."

Jacob relaxed a bit and turned his attentions back below. "Yea, I seem to recall that."

Below, the gunners took aiming stances, and the wolves and vampires held their positions. The enemy wolf pack continued their advance but were slowing. A quarter mile out, they stopped all together, neither advancing nor falling back. I could see the reflections off their black eyes through the thin veil of the forest, their breath turning to heated mist in the late morning air.

"Why aren't they attacking?" I asked Jacob.

He looked as confused as me. "Maybe they're having second thoughts," he ventured.

Jacob was antsy. For my benefit, he stayed human, keeping me company and trying to alleviate my fears, when every instinct in his body among so many vampires was probably screaming for his to phase and attack.

Another minute passed, and neither contingent moved. The wind had shifted, pulling streams of icy air up the hillside, bringing us their scent. My stomach turned in a moment. The stench was far different from the Quileute. Quil or Sam or Embry might be a little disconcerting, but they were no worse than a wet, muddy dog. The viral wolves smelled of rotting entrails and blood, puss, and sweat.

More minutes passed, and I thought I even saw Moira shift her position uneasily, trying to assess the reason for the delay. If Edward was detecting any of their thoughts that may help explain, he wasn't sharing. From behind me, a soft glow caught my eyes, I turned to inspect, but quickly dismissed it as inconsequential. It was only dawn breaking, the light diffusing widely over the mountains behind us and the trees around us.

" _Sunlight_ ," I thought vaguely. " _Well, it looks like even the Carpathian Mountains get more rays than the Lock or Forks_."

My _inconsequential_ thought grabbed Edward's attention, and he turned his gaze at me with a look of terror on his face.

And then, it happened.

Flashes of fur rampaged in the direction of the domus. Twenty-five lupine figures sprang from the woods at once. The air pockets of the paintball guns shot off in quick succession, each bearer shooting in a different direction. The enemy wolves seemed momentarily confused when the paintballs hit them, but quickly recovered and doubled their charge. Twenty wolves cleared the Humvees in a simple leap, and began attacking the front ranks. Vampire growls mixed with werewolf howls in a cacophony of aggression. Our forces stood firm, both Quileute and vampire, each group of two or three taking on a grizzly-sized wolf. A cry rang out from a vampire below, and I could not tell who, but one of our side had fallen.

In front of the Humvees, Emmett had dropped his paintball gun when all the wolves had been marked. He was taking a large silverback on in battle. They seemed equally matched in strength. Two jumped on top of the transports where Bella and Jasper stood, and Alice and Edward reacted defensively on behalf of their mates, jumping aside them and double teaming the assault. The largest werewolf had Moira pinned to the ground. I looked at her distressed, until I realized that had been her plan. She was allowing the wolf purchase on her left arm, and whil he was thus distracted, she pushed the pistol to his right shoulder and fired it right into his skin. The gray wolf shuddered for an instant , but did not lesson his attack. Sekhmet threw the pistol aside when she had assured herself that her target had been made, and the wolf went flying backward, hitting a tree with a enough force to break the thick trunk into splinters.

But where was the missing wolf? Five of them had stayed at the front of the party, and I could account for only four.

As though I had asked the question aloud, an unfamiliar canine cry arose from a position behind us. The lone wolf was on the _backside_ of the domus. But that was silly. What could one wolf accomplish away from all the action? Jacob and I shot across the distance and looked down to see a horrific site.

In the growing day light, a tan colored wolf was alerting to a hole in the ground, and two vampires dressed in flowing black robes emerged from the forests. They lifted a metal grate over a hole in the ground and dove in, a mere few moments later reemerging with what looked like an unconscious Mathias- a slow but steady heart beat told me was still alive.

A panicked scream came forth of its own volition, drawing the attention of the assailants to my gaze on the roof. Red eyes met my brown ones in a disgusted look of victory. He smirked proudly at me before throwing Mathias over his shoulder and making for the woods. My vampire mind took over, and I let my body be dragged along, telling me this was the hunt, that I must give chase.

I took a step back from the perimeter wall and ran to clear it. I was knocked midair by four legs and a tail. Jacob had phased quicker than I thought possible, and had me pinned to the roof.

"We have to help him," I argued pointlessly. He would not allow me to rise. "Please, Jacob, they'll kill him."

Edward was back on the roof in a moment, followed by Bella. Both of them bore the marks of battle; ripped clothing covered in wolf's blood.

"They're not going to kill him," Edward informed me. "Jake, please."

But Jacob didn't move, and I understood why. There was no way I would still be on the roof two seconds later if he didn't pin me down.

"What happened?" Bella roared ferociously at me, casting dubious glances at me and Jacob.

"Two Volturi just ran off into the woods with Mathias," I answered, still trying to fight my way up. "If we go now we might be able to catch up with them."

Below, I could hear the last barks and howls of the wolves disintegrate as their footfalls fell back into the woods. They were retreating. Moira had been wrong. This wasn't a skirmish attack. This was a smash and grab.

"That's why the wolves were holding off!" Bella yelled to no one in particular. "They were waiting for day break so we couldn't give chase to them out of the woods and into the village. But I don't get it. Why _kidnap_ Mathias? There's no way they'd know about his power."

Jasper and Alice had jumped up on the roof, too. Jacob still refused to let me budge. Jasper assessed the situation quickly, and I felt the waves of calm descend over me like the waves at La Push. Jacob felt my tension release, and finally backed down.

"They've taken him as leverage," Jasper surmised. Edward nodded in agreement. "This is unthinkable: somehow the Volturi and the werewolves have made an accord. As uncontrollable and unpredictable as they are, why would Aro or Caius even consider it an option?"

It was Moira's voice that answered as she too landed on the roof with our party, Garrett at her side. She was clutching her left arm, and I saw for the first time how a werewolf's bite could rip even vampire flesh from the bone. She gave the pain she must feel little favor, as the venom was already hard at work to heal it.

"They're fighting fire with fire," she said. "I expected no less of them, which is why I made sure we were ready for it. That is both good and bad. They realize the danger they're in, and they are making every conceivable effort they can think of. This is straight out of the 'the enemy of my enemy' playbook. We took down ten wolves, so that should impact the packs' loyalty a bit. Why are you looking at me like that, Bella?"

I glanced at my mother, wearing one of her human-carry over expressions. She bit her lip and caste her eyes up from an otherwise down turned expression. She did not speak, but her silence proved informative. Moira ran to the other edge of the roof and looked to the backside of the domus.

In a moment, she fell to her knees. Her face grew blank. She was overwhelmed, distraught. Bella fell to her side and pulled her into her embrace.

"Is he dead, Bella? Did you see him killed?"

"He was seized," I said, finally getting enough control over my senses to sit up. "I heard his heart beat. He was alive."

A small grin flashed quickly over her face, but evaporated quickly.

"They knew," Moira stated matter-of-factly. "I created a weakness for them to exploit, and they seized the opportunity."

Jasper leaned down next to her as well, and took her hand gently in to his.

"Sekhmet, if you want to surrender to them to get Mathias back, we won't question it. But, we are going to fight on, with or without you- or even against you, if that's what should occur- so you have to decide where your ultimate loyalty stands, and you decide now, because our assault on Volterra is already mapped for tonight."

She pondered this over for a moment, before sighing and rising to her feet. She closed her eyes, becoming separate from the world. Again, I was impressed with her ability to achieve near unconsciousness. The vampires I knew could keep their bodies still as stone effortlessly. Moira was the only one I'd seen who had been able to do so with her mind. When her eyes at last fluttered open again, they beheld a sense of vehemence and wild determination I had never witnessed in any of the creatures of Earth before.

"I will not," she said. "I will not be made to bend destiny for the sake of my own human attachments. The Volturi may have been my creation, but I am not the owner of their misdeeds and transgressions. Now they have made efforts to wrong me by taking my beloved, by taking Moira's beloved. We will not allow it. No, I am Sekhmet, the Avenger of Wrongs, and I _will_ have justice."


	32. Ashes, Ashes

"I am sadly afraid that I must have done some wicked thing".- Antisthenes

Did they feel it like I did? Could they? If so, their stone expressions gave no indication that they were being destroyed from the inside out like I was.

We looked at the bloody, mangled body lying motionless on the ground. Certainly, outside of the Cullens and perhaps the Denalis, most thought this a superficial loss. He was only a wolf, after all, and hardly worthy of grieving.

In this sea of stoicism, I turned my gaze to Jacob's, looking for another human whose eyes were growing saturated with tears the way mine were. Jacob's eyes, however, showed only disbelief and incredulity. He held me closely, his arms circled around me tightly, almost as if he was sure that the sight of Seth's corpse would be enough for him to lose me as well. As the streaming of tears ensured, my knees gave out on me. I stumbled out of Jacob's arms and barely caught myself before crashing to the earth.

Jacob reluctantly released me and phased to join the rest of the pack gathered around the body. I drifted back to Bella whose icy arms replaced Jacob's warmth in a comfortless embrace.

"It wouldn't have made a difference, Jake," Edward said, standing next to Bella with his pink hand draped over her shoulder. "Besides, if you had been there, it might have been you."

Jacob's hefty frame turned on my father, teeth bared and a canine growl reverberating from his throat. Jacob squared himself, aimed against my father. I couldn't remember when the axis of the world had shifted, but it was leaving me dizzy in the wake. Edward put his hands up, offering surrender, but preemptively took a few steps back.

"Yes, you're right," Edward said in a calm Carlislesque tone, "I did manipulate you to keep you out of the battle, but not because I thought you were incapable of the fight. It's just… I never could face Renesmee again if anything should happen to you. I did it to protect you, for her."

Jean Valjean and Marius stood before me. Was I Cosette in this scenario?

From the corner of my eye, I saw Moira land gracefully on the top of one of the Humvees and rip back the cover of another of the boxes. She pulled out a little black box about the size of large cell phone, and began pushing buttons on the side.

"They must have him in a plane already. They're moving much too fast for it to be land transport," she surmised emotionlessly. "Garrett, causality report."

"Four vampires, one wolf," Garrett returned. She nodded, but made no other comment. Garrett waited a moment before continuing. "Zafrina of the Amazon coven, David and Alexander of the Cardiff coven, and Siobhan of the Irish Coven."

Moira turned her head curiously at the last name. "They were targeting only the vampires?"

Garrett bobbed his head. "Ones with gifts that could be used in battle. Zafrina could create illusions in other's minds. Siobhan and David could enforce their will to some degree. Alexander could force solid materials to vibrate violently. It seems as though they avoided the wolves," he glanced at Seth's body, "with one exception."

The device in her hand began emitting a low beep. She held it aloft and shifted her position around, the beep alternating at different frequencies.

I looked up at her with eyes lacking of understanding or compassion. "Why didn't you go after him?"

She passed me a quick gaze, and looked back at her machine. "That would have been… unwise."

I could contain my rage no more. In a single liquid movement, I landed next to her on top of the Humvee, threw my hands around her wrists, and fed the image of Mathias's kidnapping through her consciousness.

"Why didn't you go after him?" I demanded. "You can move faster than any of us. You could have caught up to them easy."

"Let … go… of me!"

My eyes fluttered back open as I found myself sprawled out on the ground some twenty feet away. Moira stowed the device in the back pocket of her khakis and drifted down from the Humvee, landing next me and leaning over my helpless body on the ground.

"Renesmee, you're going to have to learn to control all that new found rage your substance abuse is fueling," she lectured. "It's going to get you killed in the war."

Edward stepped forward defensibly. "Renesmee is _not_ fighting in the war, Moira."

She scoffed. "We are down four vampires, six if you include Carlisle and Esme. We need every hand we can get. Even if they're hers."

"No way, she stays out of this!" Bella yelled.

"No," I interrupted, rising to my feet and dusting off my pants. Jacob threw himself between Moira and me, growling. "I have just as much to fight for as you, Dad. More, in fact." I stepped around Jacob and stood face to face with Moira. "But I need to understand. Why? Why didn't you go have after him? How could you just let him be taken? I need to understand this. I need to know why you abandoned the thing you loved most in this world."

For a sliver of a moment, a pained look came across her exterior, and her features softened slightly. For a sliver of a moment, it was Moira looking out at me, despite the lack of jade eyes, and not Sekhmet.

"You're right, I could have easily caught up to them," she said, never drawing her gaze from mine. "But between two Volturi guard and a dozen or so wolves running nearby, I would have been easily overpowered. My only option would have been… dramatic. I would have killed them all in one swoop, including Mathias. And…I couldn't."

"I quite agree, Jacob." My father spoke in his most hideous voices, tempered rage. His eyes shot fire at Moira. "They weren't sizing us up, Moira. They took off as soon as they had Mathias. They were attempting to lure you away from us, and you refused to follow. Now, one of our pack lies dead because of you. If you are truly willing to do whatever it takes to win this war, you should have killed them all rather than give them a human with so much potential to become one of the most powerful vampires ever."

I could see the struggle in Moira's eyes. Part of her wanted to lay into my father, to rip him to shreds. The other part knew that on some level, what he said was true, and felt shameful. Then, her face relaxed into a smug sneer, and she laughed under her breath.

"You think they were here after me?" she chuckled. "You think that they took Mathias to get to me? Edward Cullen, you fool! They took Mathias to get to Renesmee, not me!"

I guffawed. "Me!" I incredulously exclaimed. I rolled my eyes, making extra certain that Jacob took in my expression. "Why the hell would they think taking Mathias would lure me out?"

Edward's face went blank and his jaw dropped. "Jumping Jehoshaphat, I didn't even realize she was missing. It makes sense."

Moira said nothing, but nodded at Edward in acknowledgement of the information he had skimmed from her thoughts.

"What, Edward?" Bella gasped, tapping his chest with her hands. "What makes sense?"

"The Aussie had a mate," he explained. "She turned sides and went to Aro. Aro read her and saw how, when Aidan tried to attack Mathias, it was Renesmee who threw herself in front of him. They think that Mathias belongs to Renesmee."

"Exactly," Moira confirmed. "They sent the alpha wolf after me to keep me busy while they tried to lure away Renesmee. They see me as someone they can take on their own turf, but they see her as the intolerable threat. Now, what does that tell you?"

Bella gasped and threw her hands over her mouth. "They know about the female hybrids."

"They know about the female hybrids," Sekhmet repeated. "Aro must have figured it out from what he saw in the memory of what happened at the cottage. They sent the wolves to busy us, assuming we would keep Renesmee out of the way. Then they would take Mathias and lure away Ren, hoping to get her alone and have the wolves attack her, too. That's why Aro and Caius have sought out the werewolves to do their dirty work: They're too scared to risk any of the guards to her. They understand she's poison. They're desperate, they're frightened. This… bodes well for us."

"Bodes well for us?" I stuttered. Was she really so quick to give her love for Mathias up to gain a tactical advantage? "How could you offer him up as a sacrifice? How could you turn your back on the only family you got?"

"I'm not sure you'll understand." Moira's eyes flickered shut in contemplation as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "My decisions regarding Mathias have always proved wrong in the long term, so I'm taking this chance that doing the opposite of what I want will turn out okay."

I growled at her, adding a menacing hiss as accent. I felt rage within me matriculating into bitter anger, and a bitter anger into an urge to attack. "Your convoluted logic is sickening, _Sekhmet_. All you did was send a perfectly packaged present to the Volturi. Not only does Mathias know everything about you and about us, but as soon as they discover his gift, they'll turn him without hesitation. You'll never betray him; his love for you will be twisted by the venom. He won't let you. Then they'll either use you to kill me, or use him to weaponize me. You think you made the right decision? You just lost us everything."

"Not if we keep to our plan and attack tonight," she returned angrily, matching my tone tit for tat. "Don't presume that I haven't considered the implications. They'll only turn him if I don't comply. He's a backup plan in case our side wins. We just have to hope that he's able to keep himself from Aro until tonight. My intentions may get fucked up when it comes to Mathias, but don't you _ever dare_ to question my strategies in battle, little one. Worry about yourself, and if you'll be able to make your own decision with half the clarity that you seem to able to doubt mine."

I was confused beyond reason, unable to see the connection. "What decision?"

Sekhmet's voice grew cold and bitter as her timbre grew almost threatening. "We may be able to cloak ourselves in human facades and _function,_ but we cannot _live_ among. Your parents learned that the hard way, Ren, and you are the miraculous but cursed biproduct of the attempt to try otherwise. _You_ exist between the worlds, vampire and human, and on top of that, you are in love with a lupine shapeshifter. If you two are to live together as one, you must accept the lowest common denominator: you must live together in the human world. You must leave your coven, he must leave his pack. That's the only way you two will ever coexist. Otherwise, you're just biding time until one of you kills the other, imprint or not. Now, tell me, Renesmee Cullen, do you think you'll do any better than me, when the time comes?"

I stammered backwards, landing in Bella's outstretched arms. I wanted to argue with her, but had known there was some truth to what she said. I wanted Jacob to comfort me, but he stayed with the pack, leaving Edward in his place to bring me to his shoulders and kiss my forehead lovingly.

"Jacob, please?"

My voice was broken, pleading. My eyes met his with unwavering longing and need.

"Jacob, please, I need you now."

His head turned my direction, and he walked to me with slow measured steps. I leaned over to meet him, and he buried his head into my chest, brow to breast. He wouldn't phase. My tears threatened to start again.

"Jake, I need you to hold me now. Please, please."

He pulled away and looked behind to the pack. They were still gathered around Seth's body, but each pair of brown-black eyes was focused on Jacob.

"He won't," Edward softly stated. "Sam and Leah think that Seth would have stayed close to Jacob, and that if he wasn't protecting you, he might not have died. They've given him an ultimatum."

I looked at Jacob, turning his head back towards me.

"What ultimatum?"

Edward spoke, but from his tone and from the look Jacob's eye, I knew he was just streaming the words. "If I phase back before the battle, or I go too far from the pack, they'll leave. They won't fight. I have to stay with them. Stay close to your mom and dad, stay safe. I'm sorry, but I do love you very much."

Swallowing my tears, I told myself this was a moment to prove to myself that our love was bigger than the events going around us. This war would not even be taking place if it wasn't for Jacob and me. I nodded my understanding, and released his head. He turned without pause and rejoined the pack.

"He's doing what he has to to protect you, Nessie," Bella said in an attempt to comfort me, stroking my teary cheek with the back of her frigid hand.

A wave of calm overtook my senses, and I felt my knees start to buckle. I turned to Jasper, eying him suspiciously. He mouthed "Sorry." I battled with my rage to keep my eyes open, and felt myself starting to win until a second wave, much more intense then the first, descended over me.

Everything went dark.

{{{}}}

Something was in front of my eyes; something big and furry and with knife-like claws.

"Jacob?"

I heard a whimper as my eyes focused. A rectangular stream of golden sunlight beamed on the floor, but the rest of the room was drenched in darkness. I took sample of my other senses to try and clear the confusion. The way in which the whimper ricocheted told me we were inside a building with a high roof and concrete or stone walls. The smell was slightly stale and musty, like rotting paper or aged wood. The air tasted of incense. And there was a shewolf sitting next to me on the floor.

"Leah," I realized, inching my hand towards her and laying it on her paw. I flashed through images of the battle, and of my fall into darkness, transmitting a sense of confusion to her as well. "What happened? Where are we? Where is everyone?"

It seemed as though we were alone. The only heartbeat was hers and mine for certain, but I could sense no other vibrations or movements coming from any corner of the large space we were in. My eyes adjusted fully, and I saw that we were in an empty church. A snap and pop met my ears, and Leah reappeared in human form, crouching down low to try and cover her nakedness as best as possible.

"What the fuck are you doing to him, Nessie?" she shouted, her voice echoing against the ancient walls. "He's pissing off the whole pack. One minute we're hearing him plan on ways of killing Mathias, and then the next he's thinking about the two of you screwing in the forest, and then –."

I shrank back against the altar as she berated me, but her pause threw me for a loop. She was holding back something critical, and it frustrated me.

"Go on, Leah," I coaxed her. "Tell me, and then?"

She stood up suddenly, her perfectly bronzed body aligning in my line of vision against a stained glass window behind her showing the Virgin Mary receiving the news from the archangel, Gabriel.

She licked her lips, taking full confidence in her stance. "Then, there's fleeting moments where his hurt and anger get the better of him, and they combine with the instincts, and for a brief instance he's thinking of killing you."

"He… what?" I gasped as my pulse raced out of control.

"You don't understand what you did to him," Leah continued, sitting beside me on the altar. "He had forgiven you for what you did when he was in jail, but when he saw how desperately you tried to go after Mathias when he was taken, and then you gave us all that little peek at your near-sex experience... Damn, Renesmee, I love you like family, but even I wanted to rip you into pieces when I saw that. How could you do that to Jacob? He sat in a goddamned jail cell for six months while you played footsy with the next cute boy. Didn't his sacrifice mean anything to you?"

"Of course, it meant something to her!" came an echoing voice from way overhead. I looked toward the back of the church, and saw her silhouette emerge against the small rectangular window on a second story catwalk. The light streaming in from the window caused dances of honeydew and rose-hued light to bounce about the church. Her manner of dress seemed severely out of place. She was clad in a simple Grecian-styled black sleeveless dress, pulled with a leather belt around her waist. She gracefully drifted down from the catwalk, landing half way up the aisle, and forcing me to recoil against the altar.

"Ren never forgot for a moment what Jacob was doing for her," Moira lectured, glaring at Leah. "He was sacrificing himself so that she could continue to live her life, not so she could sit in some tower and pine away for him, filling her days with misery and regret."

"You said you wouldn't get involved in this discussion," Leah snapped back, almost biting the air as she did so. "This doesn't involve you, blood sucker."

"You really need to get more creative with your insults," Moira sneered. "I said I wouldn't stop you from telling her what's going on with Jacob. I have my own issues to discuss with her, however, and the time is growing short."

I could see from the angle of the sunlight pouring in from the back window that the afternoon was quickly fading. It reminded that I still didn't know where I was, or how I got there, or where everyone else was.

"Could someone fill me in on just what's going on right now?" I meekly asked, hoping for a temporary truce between the two of them. "Where are we?"

Moira and Leah's postures relaxed slightly as the former school teacher took up a seated position on my other side.

"We're in the church of San Giusto, just outside the walls of Volterra," she began. "We got here about an hour ago. The vampires are taking positions in the hills about five miles from us. The wolves are hiding in the alley ways around the edge of the city."

"Jasper put you under this morning when you were getting too out of hand," Leah picked up. "He sort of calmed me down, too. Miss Goddess and I were about to come to blows, but we've decided to put off our differences until later."

"Leah, if I could have stopped Seth's death, I would have," Moira argued, her voice coming across very sincerely. "But, I can't be in two places at once. I had to tag the alpha. And look, I was right. He's come straight to Volterra, which confirmed my suspicions. This fight is going to be tougher than I thought."

Leah growled, jumping to her feet and thrusting an accusing finger in Moira's direction. "You don't get to say his name, okay? My brother is dead because of your little tactic."

"No, Leah," I interrupted, pulling her back down beside me. "Moira went to extra lengths to make sure our pack was kept safe. So, please, if you must blame someone, blame me. Now, will someone tell me _why_ the three of us are sitting in a church outside of Volterra? Isn't this a little too close? Don't they know we're here?"

"We made sure they knew that we're fronting in the hills, but I don't think they know the wolves are at the gate," Sekhmet said. "I know of an entrance to this church from a long forgotten passage under the hills. It opens up from a trap door under the altar, so if anything goes awry tonight, that's your escape."

"You're … leaving me here… alone?" I stammered. "But… my mom and dad? My family?" I paused. "Jacob?"

"Everyone has a role to play here tonight, Renesmee," Moira continued, her voice softening slightly. "Your mother and father were hesitant to allow me to stash you here, but they were convinced that you having access to a secret escape route and being close enough to defend was a better option than leaving you at the airport. At least if something goes wrong in the battle, you'll know it and have time to react. When I first thought about bringing Mathias…"

Her face went blank and her voice cut off suddenly.

"How will I know if something goes wrong?" I said in a blatant attempt to distract her. It worked. She cast me a sideways glance and continued.

"That window up there that I was looking out of? You'll have a clear view of everything from there. This church sits on a high hill overlooking the lower lands. Volterra lies immediately to the north, just a half a kilometer. The exits from the Volturi's nest are at the base of the medieval wall. You should be able to see them as the wolves draw them out. The battlefield should also be discernible with your keen eyesight, about five miles to the south. I've given a safety flare to everyone I could. If Jasper or whoever is in command gives the indication that the battle is lost, they will launch one. If you see that, run. Run, and don't stop. Don't go back to Maine or Forks or anywhere you've ever nested before. Associate with no one you do not know. Lie low for a few years and keep your eyes and ears open. You're a strong woman, I know you'll be okay."

Something she had said struck me as odd. "What do you mean, 'Jasper or whoever is in command?' Won't you be in command?"

She shook her head and smiled. "You don't miss anything, do you?" I, too, shook my head coyly. "As I said, everyone has a role here tonight. Mine is not on the battlefield. I know this city and all its secret passages and hidden doors. I built some of them myself. If there is anyone who can reclaim Mathias from the triumvirate, it's me. I'll be going straight into the nest using my gift to move in before they can realize I'm there. I have a pretty good idea where they'll be hauled up, and where they'll be keeping him."

"The sun is starting to set," Leah said in a voice that made it sound like her thoughts were a million miles away. "I have to rejoin the pack. Are you coming, leach?"

"Yes, _wolfie,_ I'll be along in a minute," she returned. "Ren still has something to ask me, and I'd like her to ask me it alone, if you don't mind."

Leah nodded and rose to go. I stood too, and pulled her back into my arms, not caring that she was as naked as the day she was born. I would not let her leave without my thanks.

"You know you've always been like a big sister to me," I whispered into her hair. "I love you, and I'm so sorry for what I've done."

Uncharacteristically, she softened in my embrace, as I felt her arms hook around me and felt her lips kiss my forehead. Being a good eight inches taller than me, she didn't even need to lean over to do so.

"I'm sorry if I came across as a little harsh," she apologized. "I love you, too, sweetie. Don't take what I said too hard. Jacob loves you on a primal level. There's nothing he would not overlook for you. Just, please, keep yourself safe. The lamprey's right. If you see a flare, you run, or I'll hunt you down and rip you to bits myself."

"Lamprey?" Moira's eyebrow arched. "Well, that at least is different."

I gave a little chuckle as I pulled away and passed her a faltered smile. She phased and made for the door as it mysteriously opened of its own accord. A twitch from Moira's hand, however, told me that she had opened it for her.

"Oh, and Leah?" I called as she crossed the threshold. Her lupine body twisted back to look at me. "Tell Jacob that I love him."

She paused a moment, and then was gone, the door shutting behind her.

Moira looked at me expectantly. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to ask you."

"Yes, you do," she said calmly, adding a little wink. "Just relax your mind and think, what's the one thing I could ask Moira that only she could answer."

"What's the meaning of life?" I meekly joked.

She clicked her tongue in disapproval. "That's too easy, Ren. The meaning of life can be surmised in one word. That's not the question, and you know it."

I wracked my brain, sorting through a thousand questions that had occurred to me to ask her over the last few months but had never gotten the chance. Who built the pyramids? What happened to the Etruscans? How many years did it take for Rome to truly fall? But these were all merely historical facts and quandaries, any of which might be discernible by an inquisitive and contemplating mind. All these questions, I realized, could be answered easily by Sekhmet. But, she had not said Sekhmet. She had said Moira.

And then I knew.

I swallowed a gulp of air and glanced at her intently.

"Can what happened to Moira happen to me? Can I go completely over?"

The corners of her mouth curled into a half smirk. "Yes."

She was going to make this as hard as pulling out fingernails. "How?"

"I was bitten three times," she said, and from the tone of her voice, I could tell this was going to be another one of her scholarly discourses. "The first time in Egypt, of course, was the trigger. That should have killed me, but I was able to use the telekinesis to keep the venom literally where I wanted it. It never altered me permanently, because, as you might know, that process takes time. I could pool it, push it, harbor it- I just couldn't get rid of it. The second bite was Sorin's- and that changed me a lot. But still, I could control it- it just took a lot more effort to pull back. The third time eight years ago sealed my fate. I knew it was just a matter of time before I lost the balance I had maintained for so long. I thought I would die when I did. And in a way, I did die. But here's how this relates to you."

I sat on the front pew and allowed her words to wash over me as the angle of the sun's rays grew steeper and steeper.

"The body doesn't forget venom. Once its effects have been felt, the body sort of gets… primed. Then, if it experiences it again, it pretty much just picks up where it left off. Your mother is a good example. The reason her conversion went relatively quickly was because she had been primed before by her attack from that nomad. If I hadn't pulled back the venom when the Aussie bit you, it might have killed you. But, if I had only isolated it, not removed it, and let it work slowly through your system, it only would have killed off your human half," she explained. "If you get bitten again, I'm quite certain that you will have grown resistant enough to other's venom not to die, but your human could not survive."

"But, that would solve a lot of things for me, wouldn't it?" I asked, thinking of how I would suddenly fit into my life so much more perfectly, no longer the weakest link or the constantly-tempting heartbeat.

I was surprised when she shook her head. "It would change things for you, no doubt. It might even hold a few advantages for you. But, Ren, consider the cost. My little warning back in Romania was about that fate. As long as you remain with your coven, your _family_ , you run the risk of being bitten. It's almost a guarantee once time goes on- if not from them, then from someone else who will seek you out as some sort of blight on our species that must be eradicated. As a full vampire, you and Jacob just can't be. It's impossible. It's only by making certain that you stay as you are now that the two of you can exist as one." She paused and looked away in the distance. "It's weird, you two finding each other, so unique in your own way. It's like… It's like you were fated for each other." She refocused on me with a dismissive chuckle. "Look at that, Matthias has made a believer of me at last."

"But he's right about it," I mumbled. "But what are you saying, that I have to choose between him and my family?"

The echoes of May 14 rebounded on me again, as Bella's revelation that had first set my mind reeling came to the forefront of my thoughts:

" _He'll have to choose between_ you _and his pack."_

I gasped as the understanding seeped in.

"Bella knew," I muttered, my mouth suddenly running dry. "My mom knew, she just wasn't ready for me to know it."

Moira rose and sauntered toward the back of the church and towards the door.

"Bella's a smart gal," she concurred. "You've been very blessed, Renesmee Cullen. Lady fate gave you so many gifts. Just remember, though, they are just that – gifts. Just because they're offered to you doesn't mean you have to accept them. Choose wisely."

I rose to follow her as the doors again opened magically. The last liquid golden rays of sunlight cascaded over the interior of the church, alighting Moira's skin in an aura of starry glow and glitter. My own skin, though dull by comparison, reflected a few hues of its own. She paused, looking back over her shoulder, her hair delicately tossing about in an autumnal breeze.

"It's Bolero, by the way," she said quietly. I looked at her askew. "The meaning of life. I said it could be surmised in one word, and that word is Bolero."

I walked half way up the church aisle and paused. Her expression left me dumbstruck. She was simultaneously remorseful and determined, proud and fretful, loving and scornful. Scarcely, I voiced my concern to her.

"Moira, why does this feel like goodbye?"

She smiled at me and sighed, still firm in her position, silhouetted against the setting sun. I could see the hazy pink and purple streaks pushing the fiery orb ever lower over down the horizon.

"I think… it is."

My eyes saw the edges of her frame blur as she accelerated the atoms around her in preparation for her leap. Though I had never seen it, Bella's description had been very telling. I recognized the action, and I knew that I had only moments to spare before my decision became irreversible. With every bit of speed my hybrid frame could muster, I threw myself forward, breaking through her nucleic barrier and securing my arms around her frame just nanoseconds before she released the pent up energy and cascaded us both through the streets of Volterra in a blur, and into the heart of the Volturi nest in a matter of mere seconds. She gasped upon my touch, but either would not or could not toss me off of her.

The speed disoriented me and left me dizzy. The room we were in was spinning, and I fell to my knees in a fruitless attempt to maintain my balance. Moira turned on me aghast, and I could tell by the anger and disappointment raging in her eyes that I had made a bad judgment. She suppressed any words of admonishment, and aided me in reclaiming my composure. I took in the scenery around us, trying to ascertain exactly where we were. My heart was about to explode when I saw the frescoed ceiling and walls, and heard the airy, croaking coming from the ancient, crackled lips of the vampire standing in the center of a room, next to a gypsy boy imprisoned in an iron-barred cage.

"And here I thought we would have a hard time finding her," Aro laughed manically. "Lady Sekhmet, can I say how wonderfully you look no longer grasping to those human tendencies of yours."

Moira's hand grasped my wrist and yanked me forward roughly, even causing me to wince in pain.

"I grew tired of duality," she stated, her voiced steadied and harsh. She didn't even look once at Mathias. "I am here, Aro, just like you wanted, and I have the girl."

With another hard pull, I was propelled forward and found myself splayed across the cold stone floor at Aro's feet. He leaned over and inhaled deeply, taking in my essence.

"So, then," Moira continued icily, "we both have someone the other wants. Let's negotiate."


	33. We All Fall Down

**_I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so well_** **.**

William Shakespeare, _A Midsummer's Night Dream_

Their history would never be written in any book. It would never be the topic of a Sunday morning political debate on cable news networks. It would never be considered the turning point of history that it was for those who walk the night and shun the sun. "How many died in the Battle of Volterra?" would never be a question asked of middle school children on their world history exams.

They would never know the answer was one hundred nine.

Why did they fight that night on a lonely stretch of fallow field so far from the city walls? For glory? For revenge? For justice? In order to secure a better future, or live down a tortured past? Was it to prove that they stood for something? For themselves? For others? For life? For death? For humanity?

For love?

It was all these things, and none of these things.

Sekhmet had warned Jasper of the tactics the Volturi were likely to try and how to counter them. She had spent the trip from Deva, Romania to Siena, Italy drilling him on their tendencies and preferences in battle, in what formation to use, in how best to sidetrack the viral wolves. She had prepared him to her utmost ability for every possible scheme she could imagine they would devise.

There was no way she could have prepared him for this.

When Jasper saw the silhouettes of the first line of the enemy forces approaching, he gently pushed back Bella from their staged front.

"Your shield will be no use now."

Garrett and Edward approached the General, eyes beseeching orders, ideas, anticipations. Jasper was rendered speechless. His brain could not comprehend the cruelty with which the Volturi had acted in selecting their front line. The second line, a half mile away, concerned him much less: a pack of viral wolves striding in a regimented formation. The third line would be the challenge. The Volturi Guard, headed by Caius, Felix and Santiago, standing a good mile out patiently sending the first two lines in for certain slaughter.

Jasper had no quandaries about killing wolves other than the Quileute, especially viral ones. Contemplating the slaughter of the first line, however, was ripping his soul into pieces. Or, perhaps that was the amalgamated reaction that he felt from the others: some of them disgusted with the prospect, others chomping at the bit to be set loose upon them.

This was war, however, and in war, tough decisions needed to be made. He told himself again and again that it was not he who had fronted a regiment of hot-blooded humans against a contingent of ravenous vampires. It was not he who had sent forth seventy-five young men to their certain doom.

He would be the one, however, who gave the order to kill. He would be among those delivering their deaths. Their blood would be on his hands, though it must not be allowed to cross anyone's lips.

Edward shared what he was able to glean from their minds. "They have been promised conversion if they survive. Sycophants, deluded sycophants – each one."

The burning in Jasper's throat almost forced him to betray his words as he spoke.

"They are meant as a distraction," he declared to his troops. "The Volturi are trying to tempt us. They want us to attack the humans and be overcome by the frenzy so that the wolves will have no problem setting upon us. Do not let yourselves be tempted."

Jasper felt the small, pixie hand slip into his own and turned to find Alice looking warily out at the approaching line, their useless weapons at the ready.

"I should have seen this," she muttered in a way that made it sound like an apology. She turned towards him, her eyes ablaze with guilt. "I should have seen all of this."

Jasper planted a tender kiss on her cheek. These recent weeks had been a trial of faith for the woman he loved. Her clairvoyant talents had been rendered useless in a series of events in which, due to the presence of werewolves, she had found herself blind. Alice thought, if not for this shortcoming in her talent, those who had died in Deva would be with them still. But now she reflected, what would have been the point? They were forty-eight strong, but going against forty viral wolves, twenty-fiveVolturi guard, another twenty vampires behind them, and now three score of humans whom they would have to get through first, what would have been the point?

"Maybe we should send up a flare now so Nessie can make a get away," Carmen suggested from down the secondary front.

"Have you no faith, woman?" Garrett asked from nearby. "No, if we launch a flare this early, they'll be looking for it to signal something. They'll start to be more observant of the spaces around us, and our wolves could lose the advantage of their position. We hold through for now. No flares."

Garrett and Eleazar drew close to Jasper in an attempt to conference without the other's close monitoring.

"We could route around them, attack the wolves from the sides," Garrett suggested. "Their guns will be no use to them, and if they see us tearing the wolves into pieces, perhaps some of them will come to their senses and flee."

Jasper shook his head. "If we back around the front and hit the center line, we'll be sandwiched between the wolves and the Volturi guard. That's a kamikaze mission. Besides," he said, pointing at the weaponry being hoisted by the humans, "those aren't just any guns. The Volturi are too smart to draw attention out here with the sound of firing, anyhow. Those are flamethrowers, and quite a danger to us. We'll have to disengage them before striking."

"Not necessarily," Benjamin interjected from several feet away. Jasper and Garret cocked their heads at him curiously, but Eleazar seemed keyed to Benjamin's intentions.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed. "Yes, that will work. But, can you do it?"

"I think so," Benjamin answered hesitantly. "I've never tried it exactly, but in the very least, maybe it will get the guard to call off the humans. If not, it should at least blow the pilot lights of the guns out. Tornadoes are hard things to ignore."

Jasper's mouth curled into a smile- an impish, evil smile- but he pulled back when Alice disapproved. She was right; he must allow the feelings of so long ago to resurface. He must not take any pride in outwitting and defeating an adversary so definitively his inferior. To do so would be turning his back on the last fifty years. It would be turning his back on his family, and shamefully, on Alice.

"Wait until they're closer," he told Benjamin and gave an acknowledging nod. "If it goes badly, we'll kill them with more … traditional methods. But, no one spill blood. We can't take the chance."

{{}}

"Negotiate?" Aro chuckled. "You were always one to overestimate your hand, weren't you Sekhmet?"

Moira returned a sly grin, keeping silent. Aro dove forward, his hands trying to find a hold on the hybrid in order to read her. He never reached her. Renesmee's trembling body flew as though attached to an invisible tether. She hung in suspension some twenty feet off the ground.

"I have nothing to lose by killing her," Moira boasted. "I can very well rend her here and now."

Renesmee began to moan in pain as Sekhmet pulled at the edges of her being, testing her composition to show the ancient how easily she could be broken into pieces. Her flesh was much softer than granite, even if harder than stone. If rending Demitri had been so simple a feat, how difficult would a half-breed be for her? Aro growled in frustration, bearing his teeth menacingly.

"Terms?" he hissed like a snake.

"The human," Moia said, then angled her chin and added, "unharmed and unread."

"How do you know I haven't read him already?" Aro teased as he sank into contemplation. The human should be nothing to Sekhment. It should be the fate of the girl hat concerned her, if her goal was to ensure the hybrid's survival. Unless… Unless he had misunderstood. An evil chuckle echoed through the duomo as Aro to words to his realization. "He's special to you, isn't he? He _knows_ something, too, I bet. Keep your hybrid, then. If you are concerned about the human, then he is more worthy to my hands than yours…"

Aro shifted his body towards the cage only to find it shifted out of its position, too. The human, having remained in silent contemplation the whole time, let out a gasp as he felt his prison drag. He cupped his ears as the iron frame towed and sparked beneath him.

Aro turned again to the Goddess and hissed. "Are we playing chess? I wonder which of these two specimens is your pawn, and which your rook? No doubt you are the queen. Fine, I'll agree to your request, if you can meet my terms in kind."

Moira gently lowered Renesmee to the ground, leaving her shaking in pain on the cold stone floor. Mathias stayed wisely silent, not seeking to bring additional attention to himself trapped on the edge of the circular room. He looked into the shadows, and still found the attentive, easily coerced eyes of the three viral wolves he had maneuvered mental control over patiently waiting to strike should he call upon them.

"And your terms are?" she asked briskly.

"I have two: you destroy the hybrid after I've read her," Aro paused, letting a full-fledged maliciousness to overtake his features, "and you allow me to read you."

Moira scoffed. "I never have allowed you in my mind before and I have no intention of starting now."

Like two boxers in a ring, they turned in slow circles around the room, Renesmee the axis on which they revolved.

"I thought we were negotiating, Lady Sekhmet," Aro replied. "Ah, perhaps I need to up my offer. Jane, Alec, would you be so kind as to join us?"

{{}}

Benjamin could not control the elements truly. What he could do was influence them. He tried to _influence_ the air around them as the human troops moved steadily but continually, their fires at the ready.

Emmett smirked. "You know, in the old days it would have been pitchforks and torches," he said, causing Rosalie to gaze at him lovingly. She cherished that even in this darkest hour, he could still make her smile with his silly jokes. "Just goes to show you, everything old is new again."

"Once the winds shift and their pilots go out, snap necks. DO NOT draw blood if you can help it," Jasper commanded his front line. They all nodded in acknowledgement. "Show mercy to the humans. If they should try to run and flee, let them. This is not their battle unless they are determined to make it so."

Liam spoke up from the back line. "And the wolves?"

He was aching for revenge for the loss of his mate.

The corner of Jasper's mouth curled wickedly. "Them we kill. Every last one, with as much blood as you can beat from them."

The human troops marched forth as Benjamin focused his will on the mass of air swirling over the battlefield, pulling at pressure points to cause as much empty space as he could. A small vortex emerged, blowing about leaves and dust, followed by a funnel cloud, small but low. The wind became a howling banshee, driving men unto their doom. In their weapons, the pilot lights died. Then, with necks twisted and skulls crushed, so did some of the charging men.

{{}}

" _Stay in formation_!" Leah demanded as she rounded another corner, following as closely to the Alpha as she was able. She had never witnessed this speed and determination from him. He was a man possessed of a greater purpose. " _Jacob, we can't keep up with you!"_

" _How could you let her be taken by that bloodsucking bitch!?"_ Jacob demanded, following the weak scent of his beloved through the nighttime subterranean tunnels of Volterra. _"Two minutes, Leah! Two fucking minutes more, and you could have stopped her before she took her."_

" _You think I could have taken on a vampire like her?"_ Leah retorted, catching at Jacob's heels.

Jacob slowed for the slightest moment, looking sideways at Leah who had caught his gait at last.

" _Yes, Leah, you could have,"_ he assured her. _"Don't you get it? You were the Alpha. For the last six months, you've been the Alpha."_

Images of this odd arrangement flashed into Leah's mind and disseminated through the pack. They saw in her mind's eye how she had called them all together on that mid-May day last spring and told them of what had happened to Jacob and of the death of Charlie. They saw her the next day comforting her mother with Seth at her side, but still pulling herself away long enough to meet with Carlisle, Bella and Edward to decide on the arrangements that were to be made for Jacob's defense. She flashed back to Charlie's funeral in a church filled with flowers and mourners. The sun had peaked outside of the clouds and sent speckles of light cascading through the stained glass windows. The light had also landed on Bella and Edward. Edward had shifted his body away from the sunbeam but was forced to drag Bella along, as she was too overcome with grief to be conscious of the danger of exposure. They saw Leah accost Bella after the funeral and hold her close, crying the tears on her behalf that Bella could not. Bella had lost just as Leah had. Bella was a sister. Bella was family.

Bella was part of the pack. Renesmee was Jacob's imprint. She was Charlie's granddaughter. She was family. Renesmee was part of the pack. Leah had let down the pack by letting Renesmee be taken into the inner sanctum of the Volturi nest. She had let down Jacob most of all, failing to protect his imprint at a time it was most crucial.

" _We'll get her back, Jacob,"_ she assured him as they passed through an oddly placed, professional looking office and into a long corridor following the scent of lilies, sandalwood and venom. _"I don't think Moira meant to take her. But, we'll make sure my niece is safe."_

{{}}

Alec and Jane's youthful and angelic faces drew out a long buried maternal instinct in Moira. Nevertheless, she knew these were masks. Their souls were black and stained. And they would die today.

Moira laughed. "Are these the protectors of the keep? Mere children? My dear Aro. Did they leave you at home to babysit? Where's your precious Renata?"

Aro ignored her baiting. "Jane, I think dear Lady Sekhmet needs a reminder of your influence."

Jane giggled in delight as she took turns sending out waves of torment, first to Renesmee, then to Mathias, and then back at Renesmee again. Both let loose deafening screams. Moira twitched momentarily, but resolved her countenance quickly enough not be noticed.

She looked squarely at Jane with a condescending sneer. "You think I care, Jane? No, Aro, I'm waiting- why did you get left behind? You love battle almost as much as Caius, and wouldn't you love to rip the Cullens into pieces after the embarrassment they served up for you in the Americas? Is it me, is it the hybrid, or is it the human boy you're meant to deal with? Let's see… It's not the hybrid. You have the wolves here at the ready to destroy her, and she would be dead by now if you didn't have something else planned for her. It's not the human. You've kept him alive for a reason. I'm all too keenly aware of what that reason is. So, that leaves me. Tell me, are you meant to kill me or make another futile attempt to take me back into the fold? You were always my favorite; no doubt the others have not forgotten that. Your talent served my purposes so very well when we fought as kin."

They resumed their circular dance, but with each passing lap drew closer and closer and soon were just a foot apart from each other. Aro raised his hand in an attempt to touch Moira's face, but it smoothed over an invisible surface above her skin instead. He could not make contact.

"I'd rather have you with me than against me, of course," Aro said, "but we both know that's not to be. I have been left to kill you, as soon as you get the human to let us near him."

Sekhmet glanced to Mathias, taking in his somber blue eyes with intense curiosity. She let down the jilted tone of her voice as she asked Aro, "Why would you need me for that?"

"Alec?"

The faux boy looked concerned, frightened, but Aro was insistent.

"Now, please."

Alec quickly strode across the room to make his way toward the cage, but a few steps away, he was knocked off his balance by a wolf as it emerged from the shadows.

"Your pet boy seems to have a way with dogs," Aro hissed. "We haven't been able to touch him."

Renesmee moved on all four toward the cage unabated by the wolves, no doubt under Mathias's influence, and pushed her hand in through the bars, meeting Mathias's fervent grasp.

"Did they hurt you?" she whispered.

He shook his head. "Maybe a broken rib, but they didn't want to chance spilling my blood. They want me alive so they can turn me. Renesmee- she won't let that happen."

Renesmee looked deeply into Mathias's eyes, trying to find a justification for the heinous act that he was intimating.

"Moira won't kill you, Mathias. She loves you. Wait a little longer. We'll get through this somehow, both of us."

"And so, Aro, you've failed by creating a situation in which I cannot win and eliminating my motivation to make deals." Moira resumied her icy timbre. "I let him out, you three gang up and kill me. I don't let him out, you three gang up and kill me. In either case both the hybrid and the human follow, or fall subject to your whims. I guess the only solution is for me to make my stand then. So, which of you do I kill first?"

A cacophony of cackling echoed through the duomo as Aro, Jane and Alec scoffed at her presumptive strength.

"I know your power," Aro barked, shooing her comments aside with a wave of his hand. "You can concentrate on perhaps one or two at a time. So, take on whichever two of us you like and the third will charge you before you can complete the task. Focus your forces to protect yourself, and we'll kill them." He tossed his head at Renesmee and Mathias across the room.

"So, again, my motivation is what?" she asked, her confidence lessening a bit.

"Surrender to us, kill the hybrid, let me read your mind, and I'll let the human go free," he offered. "I swear it in Sorin's name."

Aro was detestable, a creature who embraced his vampire nature to its utmost, but invoking Sorin's honor in lieu of his own told Moira that he would keep to his word. In a moment of tenderness, she looked across the room, eyes focused on Renesmee.

"I'm sorry, my dear," she muttered, and focused her power around the hybrid, lifting her shrieking into the air.

{{}}

Half the human bodies lay mangled and twisted and lifeless. The other half had wisely turned and fled. The wolves made quick their attack and the vampires countered, throwing themselves fully into the rush of battle, covering the better part of a mile in driving back the lupine assault.

They acted in pairs, each pinning down a wolf and attempting to rip it to pieces. It was no easy task, and Jasper heard on the far edge of the melee one of his friends, Liam, fall under a three-on-one onset.

 _Many would be lost today_ , he reminded himself as he ripped the snout off the gray-back wolf trapped under the hitch of his arms. _Let's hope it's not in vain._

{{}}

"We should charge."

Caius held back Felix as he attempted to push forward.

"We wait for them to come to us," he reminded him. "That is Aro's intention. He wants Edward and Bella inside the city to see their daughter die, if possible. They are to get through the line unhindered. Don't forget that."

"But they are massacring the wolves," Renata argued from her position next to him, keeping her cocoon of protection well spun around Marcus and him.

Caius sneered in delightful reverie. "That's sort of the point of putting them into the battle, my dear."

{{}}

" _Renesmee! No!"_

Jacob led the way into the duomo, backed by Sam and Leah. Sam and his pack sought out the twins and attacked with vengeance. Alec's gift did not have time to work its way to them, and Jane could only focus on one wolf at a time, and so too was soon overtaken. Leah and Jacob pounced on Moira, breaking her concentration and causing Renesmee to fall to the floor.

" _You swore to protect her! What the fuck?"_ Leah asked looking at Moira. Though she could not relay her thought, the look in her eyes informed the vampire well enough.

"Goddamn it all to hell, Leah, what took you so long?" Moira gasped, using her ability to keep the wolves from making direct contact. Clearly she'd allowed the onslaught for show. "Concentrate on the twins, I'll get Mathias."

Leah and Jacob understood then the ruse that had been perpetrated, though by Leah's observation what would have come to pass if Moira had not been disengaged at that moment would have been the death of the hybrid. There was no time to linger on what could have been, however. There were two angelic-faced demon-souled twins to destroy.

{{}}

Edward's teeth crushed down on the skull of the last remaining werewolf, who fell without ceremony to the ground, muscles convulsing in a feeble attempt to respark the life his body had abandoned.

Two lines overthrown, the worst of the three awaiting their advance.

Edward looked at Bella lording over the corpse of a brown-haired wolf. She had ripped the head clear off, and it was lying bloodied on the ground fifteen feet away. Bella's clothes were torn and dripping with wolf blood, her eyes amber and glistening in the moonlight, but she was as beautiful to his eyes as the first moment he had seen her almost a decade before, glaring at him curiously across the expanse of the human environment, cautiously meeting his misunderstanding gaze with her own chocolate eyes.

She was his Bella, his wife, his lover, his friend. His _raison d'être_. She was the angel who had brought forth and hosted within the dying realms of her human body the miracle child that was the reason they fought now.

Bella looked at him across a landscape littered with the carcasses of enemy bodies, and smiled. A ray of sunshine through the confusion of a stormy night.

She was his forever.

Jasper sent out waves of confidence, building up his troops to make the final push. The Volturi stayed back, a mile across the field, two miles from the ancient wall of Volterra rising out of the hillsides like a Colossus. Edward could hear the thoughts of those around him turn on a hinge under Jasper's influence.

 _We are winning…._

 _The battle will be ours…_

 _We will be victorious…_

Their thoughts reassured his own, until one Judas thread inked out from the blanket of self-assurance:

 _Something's not right…_

The mental stream belonged to none other than Jasper himself. Edward turned to his brother with longing eyes that begging him to explain the conflict of the outward appeal for confidence with the inward lingering of doubt.

" _They should want to engage us as far away from the city as possible_ ," Jasper mentally telegraphed to him. " _If we press on them, they'll be backed against the medieval wall. It holds too much of a disadvantage. Why are they using this strategy? Why do they want to draw us closer?"_

The others faces around them beamed in prideful contentment. Morale was too valuable an asset to lose by hastily-made carless comments.

"What are your commands, General Whitlock?" Edward asked instead, hoping to clue his sibling into giving him more thoughts on his contention.

Jasper contemplated his options: wait out to see if they decide to advance, wait out to see if they retreated – in which case they would be met by the Quileute wolves which were surely by now in the inner sanctum of the Volturi nest, - or charge them. Charging would be the most effective plan- but it seemed to be what the Volturi were anticipating, what they _wanted._

Alice was at his side before he could turn to catch her sprint across the battlefield. Her overwhelming joy hit him before her glance had a chance. She looked at Jasper with a look of a child keeping a secret from her big brother, a malicious all-knowing smile spread across her face. Moreover, her aura glowing. This was not the reverberations of the wave that he had dispersed through the crowd; he had purposefully left several out of the sphere of influence, Alice amongst them, wanting certain minds kept clear of alien persuasion.

"What?" Jasper chuckled, looking adoringly but curiously at the elfin face of his bride.

At that moment, Edward screamed, drawing everyone's attention. Jasper and Bella both started at him, wondering if perhaps Jane had snuck nearby and was casting raptures of pain through his body. A moment later, they realized that it was not a scream of terror, it was an exclamation of elation. Edward's body pivoted on the spot, looking up the hill from where the troops were fronted and observing the graceful gait of two vampires slowing to a stop. All the wolves on the battlefield were dead; Alice's visions had returned to her just in time to see a few moments before Carlisle and Esme reached them.

Edward and Bella were at their side in an instant.

"What changed your mind?" Edward queried, and if tears of joy were a possible result of brimming over emotions for a vampire, then they would have been running streams down his face.

"I realized I was wrong," Carlisle answered, casting a quick glance to Esme. "In the human world, a father is no less so because his son becomes a man. You may be a man Edward, but you are still my son, and I will fight with you no matter the enemy or consequence."

Bella threw herself into Carlisle's embrace, and Esme drew her son to her and kissed his cheek.

Jasper and Alice, and Rosalie and Emmett followed suit. Carlisle looked across the field through the moonlight, seeing as bright as day the statuesque Volturi forces moving nary a muscle. He turned back and surveyed the troops, searching out amongst them for the last member of his unorthodox family.

Hesitantly, Carlisle asked, "Where's Renesmee?"

{{}}

Jacob lashed a gouge across Jane's neck, separating her head from her body. Leah pierced her claws through Alec's chest, dragging his solidified heart and lungs onto the stone floor. The others finished off the twins, ripping them to pieces and dispersing them to all ends of the room. They searched out next for Aro, but he had somehow stolen himself to safety in the midst of the melee.

Jacob saw Renesmee's body crumpled on the floor some fifteen feet away. She wasn't moving. He rushed to her side, nosing her hair with his snout. The sensation of the heat reverberating off her skin reassured him that she wasn't dead. Why, then, wasn't she moving?

Moira focused her power around the bars of the cage and bent them into distortion. A small opening large enough for a human to pass through resulted. Mathias gratefully emerged and rushed across the room as quickly as human feet could carry him, stopping just short of the marble-skinned goddess before him. The palm of his hand cupped her face, and she pressed her lips to his without thought of his safety. She needed to feel his pulse on her lips, to know by no less than empirical evidence that his heartbeat and humanity were still strong and true. His kiss evidenced it as such, and she also felt the burn of desire come over her, and radiate from him.

"Moira!"

The voice was Jacob- Jacob's human voice. She spun around to find the de-phased shapeshifter holding a limp girl in his hands, searching for help with pleading, fervent eyes.

{{}}

Jasper clutched at the sword by his side. It had been an impossible request, but one that Moira had been able to grant to him nonetheless. She found it in an antiques shop in Siena- having known, of course, of all the dealers in the area who would carry such a thing. It wasn't the cutlass of the Civil War he'd wanted, but a simple, elegant French saber. It may have seemed silly to the others, but Jasper would give the charge in his own fashion. Now was the time. He freed the sword from its sheath and pointed it outwardly in declaration.

"TO VOLTERRA!"

They charged, meeting the Volturi where they waited.

The true battle had begun.

{{}}

"What did you do to her?" Jacob demanded, almost growling.

Struck dumb, Moira shook her head in denial. She had done her best to put on a good show without compromising her deception. She had tugged at the edges of Ren's flesh, pulling and stretching, but never rending. She had been very concise in presenting an illusion, trying to buy time, but it should not have had this effect. Whatever was happening to Renesmee, it was not her doing.

"Mathias!" Moira gasped as she examined Renesmee for signs of trauma. "Mathias, call for her."

The Romani boy drew to the hybrid's side, but Jacob was not so willing to yield his protection from his beloved to the man whom had almost stolen that love away from him.

"Please, Jacob, let me help her," Mathias begged. "Let me help my friend."

The sincerity of concern in Mathias's eyes broke his will. Meekly, he nodded his consent, and Mathias kneeled down beside her.

"Can you reach her without eye contact?" Moira asked as she began to pace through the room, trying to find the freshest scent of Aro and determine the direction in which he had fled.

"If I concentrate hard enough, I think I can," Mathias answered, leaning into Renesmee's ear and whispering. "Renesmee, we need you to wake up. Wake up!"

She did not stir. An eerie silence came over the room, interrupted only by wolf claws clicking on the stone floor. Moira was concerned that Mathias's charm over the viral wolves would weaken as his concentration shifted to the hybrid. There were three still, lingering in the shadows.

"Mathias, release the wolves from your influence."

He stuttered. "But… they'll attack you."

Sekhmet grimaced. "That's what I'm planning on. Now do it before something else distracts me."

Sighing, Mathias pulled back the strands of command from the human part of the werewolves' consciousness. They leapt at her immediately, but she caught each of them midair with her minds, and tore them, whimpering and bloodied, into pieces. The sight turned Jacob's stomach, but he understood. These were not wolves like him. They were more animal than man. But, they were similar enough that he couldn't help but feel at little upset with how easily she had disposed of them. _Like swatting a mosquito_ , he thought.

Still, Moira was not at ease. Aro's scent hovered so closely in the air, yet he was nowhere to be seen.

 _Downg. Downg._

{{}}

The piercing reverberations from the Volterra bell tower floated across the battlefield and garnered the attention of both sides of the battle. Jasper shuddered, recalling the warning given to him by Moira.

" _In the Volterra bell tower, there are five bells. Four bells are controlled by the humans in the church proper, and they ring in the Lydian scale: C, D, E, F-sharp. But there is a fifth bell high in the tower with a tow line only accessible to the ancient duomo of the Volturi nest. It rings in B-Flat. This bell is only rung on two occasions: every year at sunset on Saint Marcus's day, and if the nest is ever under attack, as a signal to return and defend it. If you hear the B-flat bell, the Volturi will abandon the battlefield and return to defend the nest. You must make your pursuit quickly and drive them all into the duomo."_

" _Why the duomo?" Jasper asked with fervent need of the intelligence._

" _It will provide me the opportunity I need to…."_

 _But she had cut herself off. Jasper recalled their cross-country conversation as she leaned back in the airplane seat, looking disturbed by her own train of thought, and feeling a sense of hopelessness and anguish that nearly sunk him reflectively into the pits of despair. The mixture of emotions was soon reflected by the utter terror emanating from Edward two rows up._

" _Ah," Jasper realized, trying to isolate himself from their emotional proclivities. "Your weapon of last resort. I understand. And for that to work, you need them close by?"_

 _She nodded. "As close as possible. And then run. Run as though your life depended on it. Because, Jasper, it does."_

"Edward- it's ringing B-flat, isn't it?" Jasper asked. Already the Volturi forces had turned, striding back towards the city walls.

He only nodded, knowingly.

"Okay, then," Jasper announced to his forces awaiting his order. "We follow."

{{}}

She walked through a flowered lea, a delicate breeze blowing tall grasses over the wide expanse. _Elysian Fields,_ Renesmee thought. The scent of wet earth and cinnamon and lavender filled her senses. Her hands grazed over the sheaths heavy with grain as a small tickle danced up her arms, sensations of the minute scrapes across her skin. Everywhere was illuminated. It was the brightest day she had ever seen. But then, it puzzled her that it should be so- there was no sun in the sky nor a star in the heavens. The light just … was. And her skin didn't sparkle, not even the subdued sparkle that was far outshone by the other members of her family. No, it was just flesh, plain and simple and soft and human.

Had she become human?

Where was she?

A man stood some twenty feet away, his back turned to her. She could not gage who he was, but he was… familiar. The echo of a dream she had once had, or perhaps the shadow of a friend she had once known.

No, he was neither, she realized. He was more precious to her than jewels as she reached a space just an arm length away and he turned himself to her.

He was Charlie, and he was beautiful.

"Hello, kiddo."

Renesmee's heart leapt into her throat, gagging her with tears instantly. "Pawpaw?" she cried, throwing herself into his arms. "Oh, pawpaw! I thought you were dead! I had this awful memory of seeing you die. And then I… I did the most heinous things. But you're not dead. You're here, and I've missed you."

Charlie smoothed her hair against the side of her face and gently rocked her back and forth. He kissed her forehead. Renesmee was surprised at the iciness of his lips; she drew back in shock.

"I am dead, sweetheart," he affirmed, glancing on her tenderly.

Confusion swirled with her. "Am I?"

Charlie shook his head.

"Then, where are we? Is this a dream? Are you real?"

He hushed her with a fingertip over her lips. "I need to you give Moira a message."

Renesmee looked at him questioningly. How could Charlie know Moira? He barely knew anything of the vampire world- the decision to keep him in the dark had been made for the sake of his own sanity- but, he knew of her?

Charlie continued. "I need you to tell her, Sorin said the only way to win is by giving in, and that Mathias will be fine. Can you do that?"

"Sorin? But, he's…" Her words drifted off as she realized the silliness of stating the obvious to one afflicted with the same condition. "Of course."

Charlie smiled and ran his hand over Renesmee's cheek. Behind them was a distant echo; someone called out her name.

"Okay, kiddo, time to go," Charlie declared. "You show Bella my love, and take care of Jacob."

"I miss you, Charlie," Renesmee cried, holding him tightly, hoping somehow she could drag him with her back across whatever divide she had crossed to be here.

"Me, too," Charlie returned. "You'll need to help. For Moira to get to Aro, you'll have to distract Renata." He released her from his embrace and turned to walk further afield.

Renesmee's head cocked to the side, showing her confusion. "How?"

Charlie walked on. Renesmee began to follow in his direction, but the echoing of the voice calling her name doubled, then tripled in volume, nearly shattering her ear drums. She clasped her ears to block out the sound and doubled over, her eyes forced shut. Something was tugging at her navel, pulling her backwards, as though she had been hooked by an angler who now reeled her in for the kill.

"Ren, wake up!"

She gasped deeply. The gentle switch of grass now gone, she felt only cold stone beneath her. Her confused mind focused on the faces floating overhead. Jacob and Mathias glared at her, their features drawn tight in concern.

"Moira, she's awake," Mathias declared.

The Goddess broke from her distraction at the sounding of the bell and rushed to their sides.

"Good, now both of you, get out of here," she said, gently pushing Mathias and Jacob away. Jacob was resisted, but he was no match of Moira in his human form. "That's the homing bell. The Volturi forces will be here in moments. Give me your hand, Ren. I'll take you away from here."

Moira extended her hand out to Ren, who took into her own most urgently, but did not yield to be moved.

"I need to show you," she declared.

"Show me? Show me wh…?"

Moira's voice broke off as mentography inked from Renesmee's consciousness into her own. When the images of Charlie's message ceased, she drew back, her breathe racing out of control. Confusion flitted across her expression, and was reflected for a moment in contemplation. Then, something else, a shift. Acceptance. Understanding. Resolution.

"But _you_ still have the choice." Moira's voice now seemed serene, replacing the fervent insistence. "Jacob could take you back the way that he came. That path will be free from harm. Or, if you think Charlie was right, you can stay and fight with me."

Jacob rose to his full height, and as such was a dominating figure- his nakedness was not an embarrassment to him. His wolves had spread out through the nest, and only the four of them were left in the duomo.

 _What the hell did Charlie have to do with anything?_

"No, Renesmee leaves. There's too much danger here," Jacob declared, taking her by the hand and beginning to lead her away. Only, after a few steps she pulled back.

"Hell no!" she declared. "Charlie said I have to stay. Anyways, this whole thing is going on because of me. I won't walk away and leave others to fight on my behalf. If they feel my life is so truly valuable enough to cost others theirs, then I will not turn away and flee."

Jacob instincts ripped him in two directions. On one end, he was werewolf- killing vampires was his nature. On the other, his imprint was the ultimate target for the forces coming their way. He should remove her from the equation, drag her kicking and screaming if necessary, to get her to safety. He tried to rationalize her desire to stay and fight was the action of a petulant child. Ren had never seen war- the little battle in Deva had been no more than a skirmish. She didn't understand the danger she was in. She suffered the universal fantasy of youth: Ren thought she was immortal and indestructible. Despite her vampiric qualities, Jacob understood better. In that way, Ren was so very human. She would put herself in danger with the delusion that she couldn't be hurt, and in the process, get herself killed.

 _No_ , he concluded, _even if it upsets her, I have to get her out of here._ He grabbed her by the hand and began leading her back to the tunnel from which he and the pack had emerged.

"What … are… you… doing?!" Renesmee exclaimed, pulling back her hand forcefully. "Didn't you hear me, Jacob? My place is here, and I _am_ going to fight."

Jacob looked at her pleadingly, and threatened, "Nessie, don't make me do something I'll regret. You have to go. If anything happens to you, I'll just…."

But he didn't know what he would _just_ do. Cry, of course. Scream, perhaps. Take it out on the others? More than likely. But, end his own life? Would it devastate him so much to lose his love that life would no longer be worth living? He had once cursed Edward for making a similar decision years ago, one that had resulted in Bella being exposed to the Volturi to begin with. Now, however, Jacob understood. His life already lay in sacrifice to Renesmee- and without her in his world, his life would be forfeit.

In a moment, he had her swung over his shoulder. A momentary sense of pride quickly abated when he felt Renesmee's teeth serrate the flesh just below his shoulder blade. With a yelp, he dropped her to the ground. She easily recovered, rolling over and positioning herself in a defensive crouch.

He dismissed away the pain, as the flesh wound was already healing over, and turned to make another pass. _She will leave._ Renesmee sensed his determination, and signaled her own with a low, animalistic growl. She shook her head and hissed at his approach. With a snap, Jacob phased back. They both leapt for each other instantaneously, but Moira froze them in the air before their bodies made contact.

The momentary distraction and distancing from Mathias was all the opportunity Aro needed. He dropped from the rafters where he had stayed successfully hidden and landed next to the human, pulling the trembling, frail body close to him, his bared teeth lingering inches from Mathias's throat.

{{{}}}

"Edward?" Bella called as her husband's feet froze on a spot mid-sprint, causing a rooster tail of dirt and grass to cast out ahead of them. "Edward, what is it?"

They were within feet of Volterra's ancient walls. The Volturi forces had dashed into their many entry routes, and were no doubt waiting to ambush.

"Renesmee…" Edward muttered, looking quickly back over his shoulders at San Giusto on the neighboring hill. "She's… inside."

Bella's body eased a bit. "Of course, that's where Moira said she would leave her."

Edward shook his head in disbelief. "No, she's inside Volterra. She's in the duomo, with Aro." He paused and clicked the venom that was now pooling in his mouth, not really certain why. "Just like in her dream."

"Her dream?" Bella asked, then gasped at the recollection. "You mean the nightmare she's been having for the last year and half? The dream where she dies?"

Edward's head cocked back, and a painful, angered look came over his features. "Bella, Jacob's with her. But, she's… trying to attack him. And Mathias is… Moira's going to… Holy Mary mother of God, Bella, we have to get them out. Now!"

Edward took Bella's hand and pulled her along with him, whipping over the remaining landscape with unfathomable speed.

"But, Edward, the Volturi… They're going to be waiting for us just as soon as we enter the city," she argued, trying to bring rationale to his rage.

"No," he returned. "They want us – you and me- there. They want us to see Renesmee die."

{{}}

" _What the hell happened to Jacob?"_

Leah froze in place, the echo of Sam's mental stream bouncing about her mind in a way she couldn't comprehend.

" _What the fu…?"_

Sam noticed it, too, and his hackles rose at the sound of her voice reverberating through her head.

" _Leah- you can hear me?"_

" _Fuck, Jacob! Now?"_

Sam's head turned askew, and small whimper escaped his snout.

" _Don't you get it_?" Leah flashed at him _. "He chose her. That makes me the fucking and official alpha."_

{{}}

"Why do you wait?" Aro wore a wicked, self-satisfied grin. He slowly licked the side of Mathias's neck. Mathias trembled under his attention. "I know you could easily rip him away from me. But, that's where you find your limit, isn't it? You can't hold the half-breed and the cur in the same place and tug him out of my grasp, can you? You'll either have to drop them and let them kill each other, or let your darling… Mathias Dragonovitch become one of us."

Moira breathed deep, trying to calm her nerves. She added, in a defeated tone, "You read him."

Aro didn't bother to deny it. "Like the cheap dime store novel that his little human brain is. But, oh, you were so right to hide him from us. We would most definitely have found him if you hadn't. He is going to make a divine addition to our forces. And once I let Edward see that little nugget I just dug out of the Romani's memories, the one you forced him to forget by making him turn his power on himself… Well, then, killing you won't be much of a problem. I'll just step back and watch as they all turn on you and rip you to pieces. There's eight of them, Sekhmet. I seem to recall your limit is three at a time."

Moira once again displayed one of her characteristic flips of demeanor, this time turning on Aro with a condescending glance. She had learned a few things since the old times.

"Fine. Read me. If they are going to know, let them know everything."

{{}}

Carlisle and Esme rounded the corner of the hall behind the rest of their family. Where had the Volturi gone? Where were they all heading? The nest was so extensive- it ran under the substructure of the entire renaissance city. Edward, however, was following their thoughts. They were all heading to the duomo. They were waiting for the show to start.

{{}}

Renesmee tried to calm herself, but as Moira contemplated Aro's threat, she held both Jacob and her in suspension. Neither could move, and neither could breathe. She remembered Moira's warning, and knew she needn't worry, despite the suffering. If she suffocated, only her humanity would die. Jacob, however, had no such fall back. If Moira didn't realize this soon, Jacob would die. Jacob, whom only moments ago she had been ready to – well, not kill, but teach a lesson to, would die.

" _I'm so sorry, Jacob,_ " she mentally cried, begging his forgiveness. " _If I could take it back, I would. You were right - we should have left. Now, we'll both die because of me. And I love you so much! Even though you probably hate me now."_

" _I could never hate you, Renesmee."_

"Fine. Read me. If they are going to know, let them know everything."

Renesmee and Jacob dropped to the floor, gasping and coughing. Her relief was short-lived; no sooner had her backside met tile than the Duomo filled with returning Volturi guard. They were still going to die, and probably by a fate much worse than suffocation. Even that, however, could not distract her from what had just happened. She had _heard_ Jacob's thoughts. She had heard him as clearly as he was speaking in her ear.

" _Did that just happen_?" she mentally queried. _"Can you hear me?"_

" _The hell? Yes, I can hear you. You can hear me?"_

" _Yes. Oh, Jacob. I'm so sorry."_

" _Don't be. If this is where I'm to die, I'm happy that at least I'm with you. You are my everything, Renesmee. You have been since the first moment I…"_

" _Yes, Jacob?"_

" _I would have married you someday. I would have worshipped you. I would have made you happy, happier than anyone has the right to be happy."_

Renesmee smiled. _"You already have, Jacob. You already have."_

Hisses and growls erupted from every corner as the Cullens led the charge. The Volturi guard encircled the center of the geodesic room, leaving an area in the middle around Aro, Moira, Mathias, Jacob and Renesmee. Caius and Marcus took their place at Aro's side, as did Renata, casting her protective shield again over her master.

"Well, are you going to read me or not?" Moira's outstretched her arm to Aro in offering. Aro contemplated, taking in the commotion surrounding them, unsure of whether he should give into the opportunity to have the greatest mindsuck ever. Was there something to be lost by this? Would the defenders of the half-breed use his distraction as an attempt to get to him?

"If you're so concerned about them…" Moira followed his train of thought, and pushed out a limiting space, freezing everyone but the parties in the center of the room. "There, they will not disturb us. But hurry. As you said, you know my limits. I cannot hold this many for long. Let go the boy, and do it already. Come on, Aro, this is what you've been after for centuries- all my little secrets."

Aro shifted Mathias into the security of Caius's hold. "What's your ploy, Sekhmet?"

Her face remained resolute and stoic. "After you know, you will not let me live, and I would die having owned _all_ my sins."

Aro wanted her mind. Had always wanted it. Since the beginning, since she had first found them hiding in the recesses of this very duomo fifteen centuries before, fearing the approach of the one they called the Lady of the Flame.

And he would have her at last.

"Edward, you are my witness," Moira declared, pointing at the vampire with wide eyes on the edge of the crowd. "Forget not what you see, and I pray that you forgive me when you do."

Cautiously, Aro seized the Goddess's icy hand in his hungry own.

{{{}}}

 _She wakes Mathias early in the morning for school. It is three years before this moment. In the early morning light, she notices how his features are changing, how his young body is maturing, how he's becoming a man in this world. She suppresses a momentary desire to lean over and sample his cherry-blossom scented kiss. It is not right. By default, this is her child. She is already too emotionally involved with him as it is. He will age a few more years, and she will set him free. She will abandon him in the night, and he will never find her. Then, he will be safe. Safe from her. Safe from the others of her world._

 _But that will not be today. Today, she needs his gift. She has found it at last. The necklace that was stolen from her in the sixth century, before somehow finding its way- and how, she did not understand- into the grasp of the Volturi. This is why she started fencing ancient relics to begin with. She had always been searching for Sorin's diamond. Now she has learned through extensive investigation that they have given it to some undeserving new vampire in Washington. This woman has no right to wear the gift of her mate, her beloved. The necklace was given to her by Sorin. It is hers, and she wants it back._

 _They fly into Seattle airport, and she gets a hotel room in a nick of city called Port Angeles. The necklace has been stored in a safety deposit box at a branch bank in the nearby town of Forks. There is no reason to make her way to see whomever this new vampire is that Aro thought so worthy as to bestow_ her _necklace upon her. But she's curious. Always has been._ Curiosity killed the cat, Moira, _she reminds herself. She's been with Mathias for seven years. For all that time, she has not had contact with her old world, except to fight off one vampire she had encountered in London, whom she had been unprepared for. But, that was over. Even if the tenuous control of the venom slipped so much easier as a result, she was in control now._

 _She hacks into the bank's computers remotely and learns the address of the safety deposit box holder. Isabella Cullen. She seems local to have been a local as a human; there is record of her at the local high school as well, under her maiden name. That piece of info came from the newspaper announcement of her wedding. How stupid to stay in the same place that she was turned. Her human family is probably dead by now. If she even had a family._

 _She finds their house empty. They are gone. On vacation? Hunting? The scents are at least a week old. It's a large house; she concludes it must be a large coven. There are pictures everywhere. She allows the venom to take her slightly, and it enhances her gift so that she's able to move through the house and not touch anything, thus leaving to trace of scent. The pictures show things she's not willing to accept, that she doesn't want to know. A large family. A happy family._

 _And a child._

 _A child unlike any other she has ever seen. There are pictures of the mother, and she determines this is Isabella, because there are pictures of her both before and after her turning. She had the brownest eyes. There are even wedding photos. The couple looks delightfully happy. She was still human then. Then, what of the child? Is she a hybrid? Could there really be another?_

 _Did the Volturi know?_

 _But the child is still young. She looks in the photos to be the age of 8 or 9, but Moira knows better. She could be as young as three or four years._ _She will grow quickly. That's what hybrids do. And when she grows, she will die. Because the Volturi will not let her live. Not once they truly come to know the threat a female hybrid holds. The Volturi doesn't like threats. She learned that truth painfully._

 _She has to warn them. She has to protect them. But how? She has broken into their house, and they probably won't take too kindly to her intrusion. If they are living humanly, she concludes, they'll eventually need to relocate. The house next to hers in Maine just went on the market. She could easily see to it that any potential buyers are discouraged until this coven needs to move again. She could be certain they learn about the listing, and about the Lock and its unique qualities._

 _She forgets the necklace for the moment. She will contract to get it with a third party somewhere done the road, after she learns more about this coven. She needs to remain hidden for now, she needs time to plan a way to have this coven- the Cullens, find their way to her. She needs to protect their hybrid._

 _In the house, she finds contact information for a Port Angeles corporate relocation service_. Smart coven _, she thinks,_ always making sure they have an exit route _. She takes Mathias to that office, and she has him use his gift to feed the suggestion to their agent. Maine. Lac du Brouillard. Bridgeport Academy. Then, she forces Mathias to look into the mirror at their hotel, and turn his gift on himself, wiping out the accessible memory of the deception._

 _So, nearly two and half years later, she is not surprised to see their admission files cross her desk, or learn that their offer on the house down the street from hers has just been accepted by the owner. Of course it has. She is the owner. Or was. Now, the hybrid will be nearby. The hybrid will be under her protection. Damn, though, that she has to go earn her real living, spending the summer in Tuscany with Mathias._

 _She is startled, however, when she learns that her hired hand is dead. And the necklace was never obtained. Wisely, she decides not to enquire about the nature of his death. She doesn't even want the record of her researching on the internet for the particulars on her computer, in case they're somehow able to trace the exchange of funds back to her. Needs make must, however. He is late reporting back on whether the heist was successful. She investigates. Unfortunately, it seems, her hired hand got greedy, deciding to hit up a few local banks while he was in the area. One went badly, leading to the death of the chief of police in the very town where the Cullens live. Again, particulars she doesn't want to know._

 _Six months ago, she has learned the sad truth: The police chief was Renesmee's grandfather, Bella's father, a part of their family. Yes, her plan worked. The hybrid is here. But, another died for that to happen. An innocent. By all accounts, a good man._

 _Like usual, despite getting the desired outcome, every decision she has ever made was wrong._

 _It was her fault that Charlie Swan was dead._

 _It was her fault that Renesmee Cullen was about to die._

 _But she could save her. Save them, her whole family. But Mathias would have to die._

 _And he knew it._

 _{{}}_

The moment Aro's grasp lightened, Moira lunged, drawing all her power back, grabbing Mathias from Caius's grasp. Having made the exchange, she reversed the flow again, pushing all to the edges of the room, Volturi and her forces alike. Only Mathias was with her in the midst of Duomo.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his lips. "It is the only way."

He smiled and kissed her. "It is what fate put me on this earth to do."

Moira squeezed her eyes shut. "If there was another way, Mathias…"

Her voice trailed off, but he hushed her all the same.

"I'm ready," he said calmly. "Let's save her. Let's save all of them."

{{}}

"Edward, what's going on?"

Emmett picked through the crowd off disorientated Volturi, reached Renesmee on the edge of the mass, and slung her over his shoulder. Jacob shook his head and took to his paws.

"No, Emmett, put me down. I need to get to Renata!" Renesmee gasped.

"Hell no, Nessie! You're leaving now."

"Let her go, Emmett!" Edward called. "It's what Charlie told her to do."

Bella's bottom lip quivered, wanting to ask why, what, how. She knew her husband wouldn't lie about this. But, really?

"I'll explain later, love. Nessie, be quick. We have to get out of her as soon as we can. Bella, we need a reverse rutabaga. Wrap your shield around the outside of Moira's barrier. Contain it, if you can, for as long as you."

Bella understood. She pushed out her shield across her family and loved ones, meeting Moira's physical boundary on the edge of the Volturi line. The Volturi were trapped in the inner ring Renesmee ducked through the double shields without resistance. She knew now her role. It was what she had been born to do.

"Edward, what's going on?" Carlisle yelled.

"Moira's still an anucktumai. The venom didn't kill that part of her after all. It embraced it- bonded to it. She can combine the two strengths and kill them, but…" he hesitated. "She needs all her strength. Mathias will… allow for that."

{{}}

Aro lay protected under Renata's shield, but Moira was an open target. Her mind focused all its strength on maintaining the shield around the others. She was exposed. Aro knew this, and with Renata's protection over him, he would destroy her in her moment of weakness.

Renesmee, however, could break a shield such as this. Not with ease and not without pain, but she must get through. Passing through Bella's shield was simple enough. She could do that at will, had done it many times. Moira's shield, however, wasn't just a physical barrier. Moira was ripping atoms in two; it was nuclear fission on a molecular level. It nearly ripped her in half, but she breeched it, pulling Jacob behind in her.

Renesmee laid her hands as closely to Renata's form as she could and pulled on the threads that bound her to Aro. Renata stumbled, and Renesmee took advantage by cupping her brow between her palms, feeding her the disorientation of drunkenness she had come to know from drinking werewolf blood. The momentary shift was enough - Renesmee used it to grab Renata's arm and throw her into Moira's ring of destruction. Jacob leapt as soon as the way was clear, taking Aro off balance. Aro fell to Jacob's teeth, as he rendered him two.

Moira looked at Renesmee with thankful eyes, but was insistent in her urgency.

"Run towards Bella!" she commanded "Go! I can't hold them _sans sanguine_ much longer."

The Cullens made haste, Jacob assuming the lead. Renesmee looked back for a moment over her shoulder, and then the Goddess and the Volturi slipped from her sight.

{{}}

"This is going to hurt," Moira warned, tilting Mathias's head to the side. "I can't make it not hurt, but I'll try to make it quick."

"Just fucking shut up and drink me, Moira." Mathias chuckled as he pressed the base of his neck into jaw. "Take my blood and use it. It's always been yours."

What must be done, would be done. Her teeth sheared flesh, and she consumed his life with the lust of one too long denied, the reflection of ten years of wanton desire for this moment. His taste was divine, pure, bliss, sunny, and loving. He flowed down her throat like water in a bubbling brook, and instantly she felt the ability to flex her gift, fueled by mortal blood, increase tenfold. The last remnants of her anucktumai nature beckoned at her command. Anucktumai were poisonous to vampires. She could focus that poison through her venom-filled gift. Fueled by the Mathias's blood, she could kill them all.

Like a suicide bomb, because it would kill her too.

She pulled herself from Mathias when she felt he had enough. His body fell in slump to the ground too weakened to support itself. She had hoped only that she had drained him enough for him to still hear her whisper one last goodbye. His heart fluttered weakly, but she was confident that he would not survive. She had drunk too much of him for that.

It surprised her that he still had the strength to lift his trembling hand to her face and stroke her check. She focused all her power- anucktumai and vampire. Had her heart just pounded, or was that the cries of the Volturi, some of whom she was beginning to pull apart at the seams?

"Brown eyes," Mathias muttered. "Just like she promised."

Sekhmet smiled in the realization. Yes, jade eyes of the anucktumai. Red eyes of the blood-satiated vampire.

Green and red made brown.

"I love you, Mathias."

She kissed his lips one last time, the taste of his blood still lingering, focused all her strength, and let go.


	34. Will you be ready when it comes?

"It was here. _Exactly_ here."

Bella drew to Edward's side and stared at the ground, with her face, empty and confused.

"I remember that it happened," she admitted tentatively, "I just can't remember _it._ "

"It was one of the happiest moments in our life, dear heart, and there's nothing?"

His voice was a mix of sadness and disbelief. Bella's face screwed up in concentration for a few moments, but at last she let out a gasp and shook her head.

"Sorry. I can see the car, I can see… after. I just can't see you. Tell me again what happened."

Edward positioned himself in the shadows, the line of which moved slowly across the alley way as the sun crossed its zenith above.

"I was here, and the piazza," he pointed out into the scarcely populated public square, "was filled with red shirts and plastic fangs. Alice drove up to the edge of the crowd, and in unbelievable rush for a human, you pushed your way across and knocked me out of the way just in the nick of time. You _saved_ me."

" _I_ knocked _you_ out of the way _?"_ Bella asked incredulously. "Didn't it hurt? I mean, I was frail then. How did Bella Swan manage to cross an entire courtyard of people and not break a leg, only to run full force into a veritable cement wall and not crack her skull open?"

Edward smiled at her lovingly, pulling her to him and kissing the dome of her head. "Fate, love, fate. I saved you. You saved me. We saved each other. It was fate."

"Fate," I uttered softly by their side. "I don't believe in fate."

"Hush, Nessie," Bella rebuked playfully, turning a disappointed face at me. "How else could you explain everything that happened here? How everything lined up exactly at the right place and at the right time. How do you explain how we were only able to defeat the triumvirate because of a gift you were able to wield to outmaneuver Aro at just the right moment?"

I smiled, and turned loving eyes to my mother. I capitulated. "Fate, I guess."

"Damn skippy, fate!" Jacob exclaimed by my side, throwing his arm around me with a hearty laugh. I smiled at him weakly, but it faded quickly. " _Look, Nessie, I won't pretend I liked Mathias, but I won't forget what he did. He saved us. They both did."_

I kissed his hand gently and communicated my thoughts back to him. _"I know, dear. But, I will still miss him."_

"They're doing it again, aren't they?" Bella asked my father.

He nodded. "This is going to take some getting used to. After a century of being the only one able to peek inside heads, who would have guessed that Jacob and Renesmee would be able to do this? So, I guess that means, you guys are a pack. Though it's odd that you can communicate even when you're not phased, Jacob."

"Odd, and freaking awesome," Jacob commented back, kissing me gently on my all-too-ready lips.

Edward's stance shifted uncomfortably. Bella kid slapped him on the shoulder.

"I know," he sighed. "That's just the way things are now, I guess. So, which of you is the Alpha and which the Beta?"

"He is." "She is."

Jacob took me up in his vice-like grip and squeezed me. He kissed under my neck and whispered in my ear. "I guess we'll just have to take turns."

I kissed his neck right back and scraped my teeth over his skin, causing the slightest bloodline to appear. I licked it playfully, and my father all but passed out.

"Agreed," I bantered back. "I call dibs on Alpha."

Two hooded figures walked steadily through the midday sun, though cloaked well enough that neither hands nor faces were exposed. Their amber eyes, however, shone like rubies even through the bright midday. In this religious town, no one thought twice about two monks crossing the square. I, however, knew how comical that assumption was.

"No sign of any survivors anywhere," Rosalie declared when she reached us. "Only dust everywhere, just like we've found all week. We couldn't find a trail for Mathias even, though it looks like some of the viral wolves might have gotten away, or retraced back from the battlefield later. Mathias must have been destroyed by whatever killed the rest of them. No trace of any body- not even blood stains."

Emmett turned to Jacob with a grin. "You know, Jacob, Italy is a beautiful place to get married. Maybe before we catch the plane back tonight…"

Jacob shook his head and laughed. "Not a chance, Em. This little bloodsucker is going to finish high college first. As many times as she wants. Besides, there's no rush." He looked deeply in my eyes and raised my hand to his lips, kissing it ever so gently in a way that made my pulse race out of control. "We have forever to get there. I'll just have to make sure to keep her attention and not let her near anymore shifty-eyed men until then."

I had a feeling that he was talking about more than marriage, and I quickly flashed him an image of his naked body pulsing against mine. He grinned and smiled, nodding approvingly.

"Yes, but first…" I looked at my mother and father, and tried to gaze their readiness from their expressions. Bella was eager but Edward still appeared reluctant. The conditioning of a century of hanging in the shadows, I thought. "Dad, if you don't want to, you don't have to. No one will think the lesser of you."

At that moment, a bright red ball rolled into the alleyway from the piazza and came to rest at my father's feet. A little girl, no more than four or five, rounded the corner chasing after it. When she saw the six of us, she froze on the edge of the sunshine and gasped. We all smiled at her, and she proved brave enough to ask in a timid voice, " _Mi scusa, il signore, ma lei mi può dare la mia palla_?"

Edward leaned over slowly and took the plaything into his hands. He paced towards her, the ball outstretched, but she took a few steps back at his advance. Edward reached the periphery of the shadow and hesitated. Slowly and uncertainly, as he crossed the barrier, a thousand diamond-fractured beams radiating from his skin. The little girl squealed in delight before fetching the ball from his hands. Bella moved to be at his side, adding a second source of brilliant sparkle.

" _Grazie, signore_!" she chirped, turning on heel and running back to her mother on the other side of the piazza. " _Mama! Mama! Visto un angelo! E una angela! Una angela bella_!"

"Bella?" Edward asked, kissing her hand gently. " _Si, angela bella mia. Il mio per sempre_."

" _Yes, my beautiful angel, mine forever,"_ I translated for Jacob, whose expression told me he clearly had little grasp on Italian.

He threw his arm around her shoulders, and the two of them walked past the stares and gaping mouths of a dozen Volterrans taking in the sunny autumn day. I knew better than to think this was going to become a normal occurrence for them. Living in the open would still be the cause of too many questions, and get the attention of too many people. But, for the moment, they were going to walk unashamed and unflinching across the human plain of existence, and not fear those lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce. Rosalie and Emmett followed, their hoods left off, hand in hand. Across the piazza, I saw Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme ink from the shadows, putting out their hands almost as if they could feel the sunshine falling over them like raindrops. I had rarely seen my family so joyful.

"Are you two coming, or are you planning on living here?" Bella called when she had reached the half way point.

Jacob threw his arm around me, and we started to follow at a leisurely pace.

"I guess I'll be moving to Maine, then," he surmised, sniffing my hair. "That is, assuming you want me there.

I smiled at him. "Of course, Jacob. I need my beta with me. But do you think Leah will be okay? How's she handling the whole, 'He left and now I'm the fucking alpha' thing?"

"Hmm, well, funny you should ask," Jacob returned, nervously biting his bottom lip. "Before they got on the plane this morning, her and Sam got together and decided that it was over for this generation. They're ordering the rest of the pack not to phase anymore."

I turned to him with curiosity blazing in my eyes. He continued.

"The Volturi are dead. The Cullens are gone. The rez is safe from bloodsu…. vampires. This generation's pulled more than its load. It's time to stop. Oh, they'll still feel the pull of it for a year or two, but it will fade. The wolf feelings and all the benefits of it will fade away."

"But yours won't?" I asked hesitantly. Jacob had to stay with me forever, he just had to. If he stopped phasing, he would grow old and die as well.

"No way," he reassured me, and I let out a sigh of relief. "We'll go out hunting together just like we did back in Forks. You take the bobcat, I'll take the deer, and we'll split bears fifty-fifty."

"Sixty-forty."

He smiled lovingly at me. "We'll work out the details later."

Across the courtyard, the little girl had dragged her mother by the arm and was pointing at my parents. Her mother seemed ready to either drop on her knees in prayer or pass out.

" _Una angela_!" she squeaked over and over. " _Non, una, due, quanti_?"

Bella leaned over to the girl and mussed her hair.

"No, _bambina mia_ ," she cooed. " _Non e uno angelo. È solo uomo. Un uomo molto buono_."

 _He is not angel._

 _He is only a man._

 _A very good man._

Like us all.


	35. Epilogue: Bolero

{Edward}

The lucid sounds of Maurice Ravel's masterpiece drifted from the tower room high above. If I was human and had only a human sense of hearing, its building crescendo would have been loud enough to drown out their romantic banter. If I didn't have my talent, I wouldn't have to hear their erotic thoughts or see the lucid images passing through my mind. Why didn't I go with Bella and Alice? Really, what was worse? Spending a weekend shopping in Boston with my wife and sister, or sitting here at my piano, slamming out Jerry Lee Lewis tunes in the effort to drown out – mostly successfully, bless the lord- the unavoidable eaves dropping of my daughter making love to her fiancé three stories above.

When I had brought it up to her earlier in the day, suspecting very well that after my enforced embargo on their extracurricular activities for the last five years (at least, whenever I was at home, though I suspected Alice and Emmett covered for them at every opportunity), and having agreed to make an exception to my policy in light of Jacob's plan unbeknownst to Renesmee to propose during her visit home from Ohio State, it was still upsetting to me to have such a bird's eye view of the events. Luckily, Jacob kept his eyes mostly closed. They didn't speak aloud much- they rarely did anymore unless for the benefit of others – but to me that didn't matter. I heard every thought going through their minds. I should have left the house, but old prejudices proved harder to overcome. Part of me always feared that Jacob and Ren would find themselves in a row, hot tempers would lead to a fight, and one of them would get hurt.

Or worse…

Finally, their coupling ceased, and I gave a forced human-like sigh of relief. They lay in each other's arms. I saw the imagery of Ren's mind, her gaze staring tenderly at the diamond ring now displayed prominently on her right hand.

"We'll have to tell Edward and Bella," Ren told him, sounding not altogether joyful at the prospect. I smiled in reflection of how much she sounded like Bella at the moment when she decided it was time to talk to Charlie. "That's just a formality, though, isn't it?"

Of course, I had known before she did. Plus, I _was_ in the house. Not only that he asked, but also how rapturously joyful she was when he did. I wished for a moment Bella could have been here for it. But, had she, and had I told her, she wouldn't have been able to wipe that smirk off her face. Jacob's surprise would have been spoiled.

Things in our lives had never been standard or normal. How could it be for a family of eight vampires, one shapershifter, and a hybrid? Still, I reflected how upside down our reality really was that my son-in-law looked to be at least ten years older than me. The fact that I was at least old enough to be his great, great, perhaps great grandfather was irrelevant.

"Why do you always listen to this song?" Jacob finally asked, flabbergasted.

I was a little curious myself. Ren played Bolero at least twice a day. When we had first come back from Volterra, there were days where she would loop it over and over for hours. Every time, her mind drifted- pondering anything from why leaves have to die just to be born again in the spring, to ideas on quarks and string theory. I had never berated her for the repetition; I liked how the music inspired her. In fact, I actively sought out varying arrangements and recordings to feed her habit. I believed I had found every recording ever made.

"Because Jacob," she thought back at him, "the meaning of life can be surmised in one word, and that word is Bolero."

My thought echoed Jacob's.

"Bolero?" Jacob asked back mentally. "The meaning of life is Bolero? I thought we agreed to call it little wolfie?"

She slapped him hard enough that the echo carried downstairs.

 _That's my girl._

"No, silly, this song is called Bolero," she rebuked, and her emotions became painfully sorrowful, "Sekhmet - Moira told me Bolero is the meaning of life. I didn't get it for the longest time. Now, I do."

"Do tell, future Mrs. Black, how does Bolero tell us the meaning of life?"

She smiled and kissed him. "That there is none, but to get to the end. Listen to this piece- it's just like us. We start out simple, soft, accepting. Life beats a constant rhythm, and an overlapping melody takes us from the passage of one day to the next. As it progresses, other instruments join, and we think that just because they sound different, they are different. But that's not it at all. The song never changes, it just gets louder and harder to ignore. But, it does not change. Finally there's a whole cacophony of noises, and it's thrilling and loud and makes your pulse rise. At some point you reach a glorious crescendo, and then it's done. Simple. No secrets- we just listen to the song and we think it's changing, but it's not. You, Jacob, are the bassoon, and I am flute, and we'll go along playing our song together over and over, until we reach our crescendo someday, and we'll finish together."

Jacob was confused, but didn't argue. Instead, he tried a different a different tact.

"So, what you're saying is, you want me to build you into a thunderous crescendo? Okay, I'm ready to go again."

Jacob and sex, two things that seemed inseparable.

Jacob and sex and my daughter- three things I never wanted to think about in the same moment but that they two of them seemed unwilling to me do otherwise.

"Soon, but first- first we should go tell Dad. Or, should we wait until mom gets back, and tell them together that we're leaving the coven?"

My eyes almost popped out of my skull. I forced myself to stay stationary and calm, and wait to hear if perhaps I had misunderstood.

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked. "I'm more than willing to put up with the smell if it will make you happier."

She laid her hand on his cheek. "We've discussed this time and time again, Jacob. The only way for us to be together as man and wife is this. As long as I'm part of this coven, I'm their child, and you're the family dog. Make a woman out of me, Jacob. Oh, we'll stay in touch and we'll visit, but this is the natural rhythm of life. We have to leave. They'll understand in time."

I had run three miles away in twenty seconds before their mental streams finally dissipated. I tried to rationalize the discovery. My daughter- she wanted to leave. She wanted to marry her dog and leave us. What had I fought so hard for, if not to keep her with me? With us? I had always known that Jacob would be part of the family officially, though he had been by default for years. The idea of them going off on their own had never occurred to me.

Carlisle's voice suddenly reverberated in my mind. "You may be a man, my son, but I am still your father."

After Volterra, he and Esme had left, to return to England after leaving it behind for so many years. It proved to be the right decision for them. They had never been alone, they had never lived for just each other. The experience after so many years of having a "family to raise" proved enjoyable to them. Now we only saw them at Christmas and for a week out of the summer. Rosalie and Emmett had gone off on their own to live again, too, this time outside of Vancouver. Only Alice and Jasper remained behind with us. While the rest of us withdrew from Bridgeport, Alice stayed to serve in lieu of my wanting to constantly protect Renesmee. The two of them were inseparable for the next two and half years. Alice and Ren were voted "most likely to be friends forever" in their senior year. Emmett had thought it was the funniest thing he ever heard.

But, how could Renesmee think of leaving? Even with all her AP credit and pulling summer courses, she had another year or year and a half until she was done with her BA in history. I knew she wanted to apply to Oxford's archaeology program for grad school. I had always assumed Bella and I would just make the move with her.

Maybe it was time for Bella and I to be on our own. Even with our own cottage in Forks, we had always been just a stone's throw from the rest of the family. We had never been truly alone. Bella had once had dreams and ambitions. Despite the fact that we had been married for thirteen years, there was still so much of the world I had wanted to show her, but we had never gotten the chance. Maybe now…

I looked out to my left, and saw the dominating tower of the Bridgeport Mansion calling like a beacon over the forest canopy. I made my way to it slowly, almost with reverence. While there were no bodies inside- other than a mummy on the first floor, it seemed- we considered it a mausoleum of sorts. It was the last temple ever dedicated to the Lady of the Flame.

The police tape still was tied around the front porch. I remembered the scandal that met us upon returning to the Lock all those years ago. The headlines ran from Moscow to Montana, "Hideout of the Jaguar revealed," "The Lion's Den of the Black Market," or "History Teacher proves a lesson in Hidden Identities." These were replaced a few weeks later when the most astonishing twist of all happened. We kept the newspaper clipping in box in our foyer, sometimes dragging it out to marvel and question how such a thing was possible: "Body of infamous antiques smuggler discovered in Serbia." The accompanying photo showed all too true it was her. How, we could not understand, but we decided our getting involved with that portion of her death would lead to too many questions. We let her be buried in a public grave in Belgrade. We would visit it someday to pay proper tribute.

The mansion lay empty now- all antiques having been carefully documented and removed. I remembered how the news crews had scrambled over the property for days, followed by treasure hunters of every stripe, of how difficult those few weeks have proved in avoiding being seen at the wrong time or all the interview requests we denied to get the 'people next door' opinion.

My opinion? They wouldn't have understood if I had said she was a martyr who sacrificed immortality to save my daughter. To save us all.

Without realizing how, I found myself in the ballroom, the late afternoon sun streaming bright streaks through the cracks of the boarded-over windows. One item still remained after all these years- the harpsichord, bolted to the floor. When we bought the house, we decided to leave it be, as we'd assumed Moira intended.

I wondered if it still played as well. I sat at the wooden bench, and began to spin off some test arpeggios. As I hit the D' key, a peculiar sound met my ears- like the hammer was hitting paper. I pulled atop the lip of the casement, and found an envelope addressed "Cullens," inside of which was a handwritten letter.

 _No doubt that if events have transpired as such that you now find yourself in possession of this missive, I am no longer of this world. I would have this opportunity to make a few things known._

 _Firstly, Jasper- I know you served our cause well. You are a man possessing of great valor, and if we have seen the day, I know it is because of your leadership._

 _Alice: You were right. It was my fate. You can feel free to pull the $50 from my bank account. Never bet against Alice._

 _Esme: I don't remember my mother. Her name was Aingwin, but I don't remember anything but her voice. I like to think she was like you: sweet, soothing, loving. Thank you for your compassion. I treasured it._

 _Carlisle: Never begrudge yourself again. To have never tasted human blood in 400 years only serves to show that you never stopped being human. You are an inspiration to them all. And to me._

 _Emmett & Rosalie: I regret that I feel I never had the opportunity to know you better. Still, Rosalie: I have a storage unit in Boston under rented under the name Willow Summers- yes, just accept that. The key is taped on the underside of the harpsichord. I hope that a vintage Corvette isn't too modest for you, but it is cherry red._

 _Bella: I know how hard of a struggle you had these last few months, watching Renesmee and thinking only of how she reminds you of Charlie. I know in time, this will in fact be a blessing for you. What a wonderful thing fate has given you- and immortal embodiment of your human legacy. I only wish that I was not responsible for my part, and that you can find a way to forgive me._

 _Edward: You never figured it out, and I did delight in having one last secret that you never could skim from my brain! So, I'll tell you now: The reason you could rarely see any images from my mind was that my brain never totally adapted to having images to process. A carry over from my human days, I'm afraid. I was born blind, Edward. I never saw anything until I awoke anucktumai._

 _Finally, Ren: Love him. Forever. Don't deny the benefit of our sacrifice._

No, she should not.

She should move on and love Jacob. She should, must leave with him.

And it will break my heart, but I will never let her know.

I will not deny her the benefit of my sacrifice.


	36. Alternate Ending: Jaded

A/N: This short piece is intended to be alternate ending for WYBRWIC. This is my "if I could ignore canon and just write the ending I would have preferred based on my own biases", this is the way it would have gone down. This point of departure here is Sekhmet's mindsuck from Aro as it's coming to an end. This is not fully sketched, but I wanted you guys to see how lucky you were to get a HEA- because this is what I originally intended- though in greater detail, I'm sure.

JADED

 _Like usual, despite getting the desired outcome, every decision she has ever made was wrong._

 _It was her fault that Charlie Swan was dead._

 _It was her fault that Renesmee Cullen was about to die._

 _There was only one way out._

 _But could she do it?_

 _Yes, she could. But, Mathias would have to die._

 _And he knew it._

 _{{}}_

Moira drew her force back in and grabbed Mathias from Caius's grasp. Immediately, she expelled her power out again, pushing all, Volturi and her allies alike, to the edges of the room. Only Mathias was with her in the midst of them kissed him gently.

"I'm sorry. It is the only way."

He smiled. "Of course, it is. Don't apologize. It is what fate put me on this earth to do."

Moira squeezed her eyes shut. "If there was another way, Mathias…"

Her voice trailed off, but he hushed her all the same.

" _Shhh._ I'm ready. Let's save her. Let's save all of them."

{{}}

Emmett picked through the crowd off disorientated Volturi, reached Renesmee on the edge of the mass, and slung her over his shoulder.

"No, Emmett, take me to Aro and Renata!" Renesmee gasped.

"Hell no, Nessie!"

"Let her go, Emmett!" Edward called. "It's what Charlie told her to do."

Bella gasped, and she looked pleadingly to her husband for explanation.

"I'll explain later, love. Nessie, make it quick, we have to get out of her as soon as we can. Bella, we need a reverse rutabaga. Wrap your shield around the outside of Moira's barrier. Contain it, if you can, for as long as you."

Bella understood. She pushed out her shield across her family and loved ones, meeting Moira's physical boundary on the edge of the Volturi line. The Volturi were trapped in the inner ring Renesmee ducked through the double shields without resistance. She knew now her role. It was what she had been born to do.

"Edward, what's going on?" Carlisle yelled.

"She's still anucktumai. She can combine the two strengths and kill them, but…" he hesitated. "She needs human blood to be strong enough. She's going to drink Mathias."

{{}}

Aro lay protected under Renata's shield, but Moira was an open target, focusing all its strength on maintaining the shield around the others. She was exposed. Aro knew this, and with Renata's protection, he would destroy her in her moment of weakness.

Renesmee, however, could break a shield such as this. Not with ease and not without pain, but she must get through. Passing through Bella's shield was simple enough. She could do that at will, had done it many times. Moira's shield, however, wasn't just a physical barrier. Moira was ripping atoms in two; it was nuclear fission on a molecular level. It nearly ripped her in half, but she breeched it, pulling Jacob behind in her.

Renesmee laid her hands as closely to Renata's form as she could and pulled on the threads that bound her to Aro. Renata stumbled, and Renesmee took advantage by cupping her brow between her palms and feeding her the disorientation of drunkenness she had come to know from drinking werewolf blood.

The momentary shift was enough for Renesmee grabbed her arm, and toss her into Sekhmet's ring of destruction. Jacob leapt and threw Aro off balance. Aro fell to Jacob's teeth, but fought back with the vehemence and skill born of ages of in such battles. Renesmee bore down on Renata, conjuring up primal instincts to twist the head of the shield right off her body. Renesmee turned with a start when she heard the wolf's anguished cry.

Aro held Jacob's limp body in his arms, his neck clearly snapped.

There was a mottle of screams and shouts, but Renesmee ears only echoed a high-pitch ring. Her mouth went dry and she fell to her knees. Aro tossed the wolf's body aside like throwing away an unwanted bit of refuse. Renesmee felt numb, even as she became aware the Aro was stalking her.

Carlisle shouted something, but she couldn't focus her undivided attention of Jacob's lifeless body to listen. Sekhmet shouted something back, and Ren felt a reverberation about her, like a wave of Moira's force had temporarily detracted, only to just as quickly be forced out again. From the corner of her eye, she saw Aro pounce. She knew it would be useless to put a fight. He was stronger. They all were stronger than her. She was the weakest, and Jacob was dead. And now, she didn't know why she should even try to fight anymore. She decided to relieve the pressure on her family to always be at her back, ready to defend her. She decided to alleviate their constant vigilance on her account, never failing to look around each corner to make sure the way was safe.

She decided to die.

She looked up at Aro with a defeated glance and held out her arms in a welcoming embrace. Seconds before he made contact with her, a flash of blond hair swept pass her. Carlisle pinned Aro to the ground, having leapt at him from a sufficient distance to secure him down.

"Carlisle, I can't hold out much longer," Moira shouted.

"Push away Renesmee," he demanded, not flinching a bit from the pressure he was using to hold down the ancient.

Mathias responded. "But, if you stay in the ring, you'll…"

"I know!" he interjected. "Just get her out."

Mathias broke from Moira's side and knelt down by Renesmee.

"GO!" he demanded, staring deeply into her eyes.

She felt the familiar wave of obligation that Mathias's power induced in her, but denied it. She did not want to continue. Jacob was dead.

Mathias's eyes became fervently intense, and his face screwed from the concentration.

"Renesmee Cullen," he addressed her, "get up, use your power to cross Moira's divide back to your family, and stay alive." He wetted his palate, and begged. "For me, please?"

He was intensifying his gift to the best of his ability, and she could feel the difference. She rose to her feet and began pacing the distance between her family and ring of frozen, screaming Volturi guard. She pushed through a hand, gasping in pain as the force of Moira's strength tore at her flesh.

"Hurry!" Mathias shouted from behind her.

She pushed through her hand and arm with determination. Edward reached out to clasp it and pull her the rest of the way through, throwing Renesmee into his and Bella's embrace. Edward knew they had to leave. Sekhmet was about to play her final card, and even Bella's shield might not be able to contain it.

"Carlise!" Esme shouted, desperately screeching.

He did not deviate from his position, but looked up at her with years of love written on his face.

"Take care of our family, Esme," he whispered. "I love you. All of you."

"You have to go NOW!" Moira shouted, pulling Mathias back to her and angling his chin to expose his pulsating jugular to her.

Edward saw her mind, saw how close they were coming to being taken up in the rapture. Emmett took Esme in his strong grip and carried her. She would not move of her own volition. Bella drug Renesmee beside her. They fled, running out into the pre-dawn streets of Volterra, towards the sunrise of their freedom.

{{}}

"This is going to hurt," Moira warned Mathias, tilting his head to the side. "I can't make it not hurt, but I'll try to make it not last long."

"Shut up and kill me, Moira," Mathias chuckled as he pressed the base of his neck into jaw. "I know that you can't hold them in place for much longer with your strength. Take my blood, and use it. It's always been yours to do with as you please."

She would wait no longer. What must be done, would be done. Her teeth bit in at the apex, and she pulled his life force with a vengeance, the reflection of ten years of wanton desire for this moment. His taste was divine, pure, bliss, sunny, and loving. He flowed down her throat like water in a bubbling brook, and instantly she felt the ability to flex her gift feel by mortal blood increase tenfold. She felt the last remnants of anucktumai nature come under her command. Anucktumai were poisonous to vampires. She could focus that poison through her venom-filled gift. Fueled by the Mathias's blood, she could kill them all.

Like a suicide bomb, because it would kill her too.

She pulled herself from Mathias when she felt she had had enough. His body fell in slump to the ground too weakened to support itself. She had hoped only that she had drained him enough for him to still hear her whisper one last goodbye. His heart pulsed weakly, but she was confident that he would not survive. She was surprised that he still had the strength to lift his trembling hand to her face and stroke her check. She was focusing all her power- anucktumai and vampire, and getting ready to release it. Had her heart just pounded, or was that the cries of the Volturi, some of whom she was beginning to pull apart at the seams?

"Brown eyes," Mathias muttered. "Just like she promised."

Moira smiled in the realization. Yes, jade eyes of the anucktumai. Red eyes of the blood-satiated vampire.

Green and red made brown.

"I love you, Mathias."

She kissed his lips one last time, the taste of his blood still lingering, focused all her strength, and released.

She left the world, clutching her reason for existence in her arms.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Renesmee}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I moved like a ghost across the stage. I was a ghost; I was no longer of this world. I hadn't been since that day in Volterra. They may have saved my life that day, but I had been as good as dead since then.

How ironic then, as the valedictorian of the Bridgeport Academy graduating class, that it was my duty to step before a crowd of humans and deliver a speech meant to inspire their pointless pursuits. Inspire them towards what? No matter the effort, it was all in vain. They would die. Everyone would die.

Except me. Except my family. Afflicted by no mortal woe, we would live forever unless killed in battle. With the Volturi gone, and with our coven now the de facto advisory body to our world, who would battle us? Theses humans, however, would suffer their short mortal coils and dissolve in to an abyss of forgotten memories and unpaid bills.

Despite my best efforts, I scoffed as I approached the microphone. Edward shot me a warning glance across the auditorium, and that was completed by Bella's sympathetic gaze. The other Cullens merely sat as spectators, having left the school after Volterra. I needed the space, they said; space to be human, space to make my own mistakes (though they hoped none of the deadly variety). I was human. I was vampire.

I was both, owing allegiance to both worlds, and no longer caring for either.

I shuffled the note cards of my preapproved speech in my hands. The cards were for show- I knew the speech I was _supposed_ to deliver forward and backward. Dad and Mom had helped me craft it over the last week, and the principal had approved the draft, with a few minor revisions, the last Friday. It was a collection of various credentialing quotes and highbrow metaphors, capped off with inspirational summaries and vacant clichés.

But that was not the speech I was going to give.

As I started to speak, I saw the principal's face flex into confusion, and Edward's glance turn curiously askew.

I took a deep breath and began. "I've never been friends with most of you. Actually, I've very rarely talked with any of you. I know I have a reputation for being introverted and perhaps even arrogant, and if there would ever be any fault you could rightly contribute to me, I would hope that failing to correct this interpretation is not one of them.

"The truth is this. When I first came to Bridgeport three years ago, I was in a difficult period of my life. I wondered ceaselessly what my place in this world or this life was. I was fortunate enough to be befriended by our belated teacher, Dr. Moira Arrashk, who taught me by example that my quandary was ill-conceived. She taught me that there is no one place in the world or life in which we belong. Rather, it is a myriad of experiences, some bitter and some sweet, combined with fortitude, compassion and sacrifice, that establishes the many paths we walk on simultaneously. I know about walking multiple paths." I saw Bella tense for a moment, wondering if I was about to reveal truths she rather I left unsaid. "You may not yet. Perhaps you think you know where your life is going, and you're certain that you'll get there. I want to tell you- you may not. But know that you only fail in any pursuit if you come away from the experience having learned nothing. Some say failure is not an option. I say, it is an opportunity. Learn from it. And grow from it. And carry on, as the Buddhist say, in joyful participation in the sorrows of the world. Thank you."

A few hours later, we pulled back up to our lonely house on Frenchman's Fork. Bella lingered in the car as the others got out, Edward staring straight forward in deep contemplation.

"That's not the speech we rehearsed."

I felt no need to defend myself, but I wouldn't concede a mistake either. "I know." And I waited for the berating lecture to ensue. Edward surprised me.

"It was better than the one we rehearsed."

My eyes shot up in surprise, meeting his warm smile and gracious eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Thanks."

Bella sighed in relief. "Agreed. Now, we have a little celebration set up inside, including your favorite- cherry gelato. So, come on."

I hesitated.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a little walk by myself first and clear my head," I said. They both looked at my curiously. "Look, you guys may have done the whole graduating from high school thing before, but this is my only first time, and I'd like to reflect on it a bit."

Bella nodded, tapping Edward on the arm as indication to let me have my way. As they went quickly into the house. I wandered leisurely through the forest making my way down towards the lake. In an odd twist from the norm, the sun peeked through the clouds. My skin gave off a subtle glow, but no one was out on the beach to witness it. I looked across the street to the two trees that I once had been shown as the example of my potential by a certain gypsy boy. "Same ground, same sun, maybe even the same parents, but different fates," he had said. "Still trying for the same goal, though. Still trying to reach for the sky. Like you and me. We're more alike than you realize. You think one of those trees cares that the other will be more than it ever is? No, it's not there to not be alone."

It did not escape my attention that the taller tree had died in the passing time, nor that the smaller one had grown to nearly the same height.

I picked up some pebbles in my hand and skipped them. Six bounces, sometimes seven. I was having an off day. I dropped the pebbles, sad on the beach, and stared at the lapping of small waves on the crest of the shore. Another stone skimmed along the surface of the water, getting a very impressive nine bounces before sinking beneath the surface. Realizing that Edward must have followed me after all, I sighed in frustration.

"I told you I needed to be alone for a while."

Another stone. Ten bounces. That was impressive, even for Edward.

"If you'd prefer to be by yourself, I'd understand."

The voice was familiar, almost intimate, but it had changed. It had deepened. It was more melancholy and musical.

But it was impossible.

He continued. "But I wish you wouldn't send me away, because I've been alone for far too long."

"Matthias?"

I spun around at a speed much too quick for public display, but I didn't care. I needed to see that I wasn't imaging it. But there he was, solid and real, and not a figment of my imagination. His eyes were downcast, staring at a spot a few feet in front of my position.

"Now, of course, I could command you to let me stay," he continued, "but I will never use my power in that way against you again. I hope in time, you'll let me earn back your trust."

"My trust?" I mouthed, almost feeling as though I were about to pass out. "You died for me, for us, and you're worried that I don't trust you? How is this possible? Are ghosts real?"

The corners of his mouth curl in their old familiar way. But he was different. He was paler, and yet- was there a slight hue radiating off him in the sun? Surely I was seeing things. "Death didn't quite stick the way it should have."

He looked up at me at last, and our eyes met. I stumbled backward in the shock. Gone were Mathias' entrancing river blue eyes, replaced instead with the glossy jade eyes of the Anucktumai.

Just like Moira's had been.

"How?" I gasped. "Why? Where have you… What happened…"

He crossed to me with unnatural speed and stood inches from me.

"You're… one of us?" I asked with uncertainty, though that he was no longer human was obvious.

His answer was unspoken. He took my right hand in his and laid it upon his chest, where I felt the heated pulse of a heart running much too fast under marmoreal flesh.

"Are we like them?" he asked. "No, we are unique. You and I much more similar to each other than to them. But what am I? I haven't quite figured it out yet. I'm something … different."

"Tell me," I begged, leading him back into across the road and into the cover of the forests. I followed without question or debate. "Tell me what happened."

"She didn't kill me," he responded stoically. "She withdrew just enough blood to be able to work her charm, then stopped. Was it because she didn't have time to drain me fully, or because some part of her hoped that I might live? I don't know. Probably she assumed I'd die. But Moira's venom, Ren, it was different from the others- mutated. It left me neither vampire nor human nor anucktumai, but somewhere between all three. And somehow, it protected me from the destruction. I woke up three days later in a hospital in Siena. I have no idea how I came to be there, or who had brought me. All I knew was that I could hear everything, and smell everything, and taste everyone on the air. I was so thirsty that I barely escaped without killing anyone. I returned to Serbia and I have lived there more or less alone for the last three years. When I felt I was finally in control enough to be able to sit on a plane and not kill the stewardess when she passed, I came to find you, to apologize."

"Apologize?" I stuttered, smiling at him sheepishly. "You laid down your fucking life for me. What in hell would you have to apologize for?"

"Don't cuss, Ren."

"Don't cuss?" I asked. "I'll ffff…. I'll say any god daaa… da….d…d.d.. Oh sh…"

His power had indeed grown undeniably strong.

"Sorry, I'm still learning to be careful with my words," he stated. "And that's not the apology to which I was referring. I came to apologize for Jacob."

The mere mention of his name brought the tears to my eyes instantly. I had thought repeatedly about Jacob over the past three years, replaying every scenario in my head, trying to determine if I could have changed fate if I had taken one step left or one step right. I would, of course, never know. I had found a way to deal with the events that had happened, a way to understand it in a context that didn't leave me wracked with guilt and despair.

"Jacob imprinted on me," I told Mathias. "That obliged him to do whatever necessary to protect me, to be whatever I needed from him. When I was a child, he was my playmate. When I was adolescent, he was my outlet when I thought my parents were being unfair. When I was killer, he was the one who took to the fall. When I was a lonely love-struck teen, he was my lover. And when I was the object of an ancient's wrath, Jacob became my sacrificial lamb. He died in my place, Mathias, and there is nothing for you to apologize over that. But I…" I paused. "I _am_ sorry that you lost Moira and your humanity because of me. And just when you had realized your love for her."

"She had always loved me, I came to realize," he said quietly. "In those last few days, I was able to reciprocate that. But Ren, things for me have not changed. I have not lost my faith in fate over the years, but I have questioned it relentlessly. I kept thinking- what was the point? It drove me so hard to you, only to lose you to Jacob. And then it swung me almost instantly to Moira, only to lose her almost immediately. So, I thought, why? I think I finally figured it out."

"Yes?" I asked, my breath hitching hoping he had reached in his deliberation the same conclusion I was suddenly drawing to myself. "What did you figure out?"

"It was a process," he answered. "I needed to be Moira's, to walk this road in between worlds, so that I could walk it with you. She never would have taken me if she didn't love me so much, and I never would have sacrificed myself if I hadn't thought it was her plan. She preserved me –for you. Just like Jacob preserved you- for me. That is, if you'll have me?"

There was something odd and wrong and sweet and natural and all together confusing and certain in the idea of Mathias and me. A million conflicting but confirming thoughts passed through my mind. The numbness of three years melted away in moment, and I threw myself into his arms, kissing him fervently, passionately, breathlessly.

"I'll have you," I answered him as I backed him against a tree and ravaged his neck with hungry kisses and his hands slide down to my hips, yanking at the waistline of my jeans. "I'll have you in whatever way you need me."

We made love under the forest canopy, two immortal hearts beating angrily in the throes of passion. He was my equal. He was my partner. He was destiny. He was my fate.

And Jacob? I would always love Jacob. I would never forget Jacob. But Jacob had sacrificed himself so that I might live. Should I squander his sacrifice- crawl into a ball and refuse to continue on? Jacob would want me to be happy. Jacob would want me to be content.

Mathias would make me happy.

Jacob sacrificed himself so that I might live, and I would not deny him the benefit of that sacrifice.

 **End Notes:**

Thanks for the ride, guys. It's been a blast. -HW


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